Page 25

ROYAL

I t had been four days since I walked out of my mama’s kitchen feelin’ like I’d been gut-punched with the truth she told. Not ‘cause of what she said… but ‘cause she was right. Hell, she always was.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d stepped foot inside my apartment. I’d been too fucked up to face it. Too afraid of the silence. The shadows. The memory of what came right before the worst night of my life. But today—I had to stop runnin’.

I pressed the code in and opened the door. The air was stale. Still smelled like whatever cologne I last sprayed in here… and her. That soft-ass vanilla scent Averi always left behind. She used to tease me, callin’ it her way of markin’ her territory.

I stepped inside slowly, like I was trespassin’ in my own space.

It was all still the same. Couch pillows crooked from when we were here last. The hoodie she used to steal from my closet, the one she had on when I came back from the hospital after getting the news, still tossed over the armrest. My chest tightened, I didn’t know if it was grief or guilt—or both.

My duffle bag dropped on the floor with a heavy thud then I dragged my feet toward my bedroom, peeled off my hoodie and grabbed the remote. I flipped the TV on just to kill the quiet and that’s when I saw it. A small black box sittin’ dead center on my dresser.

I froze. The box was from Solomon’s. Fuck.

I walked over slowly, already knowin’ what was inside. My assistant Cory must’ve put it there, tryna be helpful or whatever. But just lookin’ at it felt like a slap in the face.

It was the bracelet I bought her. A thin, icy diamond tennis piece. Simple, elegant… just like her. I was gon’ give it to her the night she flew back to LA. A "thank you" for inspiring me, grounding me… lovin’ me. Instead, I gave her a broken heart.

I popped the closet open, keyed in the code to my safe, and tucked it inside. Out of sight. But not outta mind.

After a hot-ass shower and a much-needed shape-up in the mirror, I started feelin’ a little more like myself. I hadn’t been lookin’ right. Not for a while. My reflection was the first version of me I hadn’t hated in weeks.

Next step: food. I ordered from Nancy’s Pizza, something simple; a large meat lovers pizza with a 30 piece hot wings.

I texted Zay earlier in the day to come through.

He didn’t ask why but let me know he’d come over.

When the buzzer rang, I grabbed the food and just barely had time to set it out before a knock followed.

I opened the door and there he was—sunglasses on, locs pulled back, hoodie half-zipped like he was too cool for the weather.

“Every time food’s involved,” I said with a small grin, “your greedy ass pop up quick.”

Zay smirked. “Man, listen. You say Nancy’s Pizza, and I’m on the way. Might as well just drop a pin and say pull up hungry.”

We dapped up tight, pulling each other in for a tight hug before I pulled him inside. We went into the kitchen, and I passed him a plate. We started piling our plates with food and then we crashed on the couch, plates in laps, ESPN low in the background.

It was light at first; easy, a couple laughs and some stupid stories. But the weight in the room was heavy. Always lingerin’. I cleared my throat, tapped the ash off my blunt, then looked over at him.

“Aye Zay… I need to say somethin’.”

Zay side-eyed me. “Aight.”

I leaned forward, elbows on my knees. “I was outta pocket, for what I said to you. ‘Bout not protectin’ King. That shit wasn’t fair.” He sat back, jaw flexin’ for a second, then nodded. “I know you loved him, man. Like I did. I just— I was hurt. Still am. And I took that shit out on you.”

“Royal…” Zay started, then exhaled. “That night? I was right next to him. Shit happened so fuckin’ fast, I couldn’t even pull my heat.”

“I know,” I said quietly. “That’s why I’m sayin’ sorry. For that…and for spazzin’ when you told Averi where I was that day at the studio. You was just tryna look out.”

“I was,” he nodded slowly. “But I overstepped. I ain’t had the right. You was already spiralin, and I added to it. My bad, bro.”

We sat in silence for a minute. Mutual grief sittin’ right between us.

“I don’t think she ever gon forgive me,” I muttered after a while.

Zay leaned back. “Who, Averi?” I nodded. “I mean… you did say some wild shit.”

“I know.”

“But… you care about her right?” My throat tightened. I didn’t answer right away. “Look, all I know is she brought out some other shit in you, dawg,” Zay continued. “Shit I ain’t never seen. You was happy. Light. Even focused. Me and King talked about it all the time. We loved that shit for you.”

I swallowed hard. “Y’all was clownin’ me tho?”

“Of course we was,” he chuckled. “But we also knew she was good for you. You think King would’ve wanted you to let her go like that? Come on man, you know he loved Ave.” I didn’t respond. “Have you at least talked to her since that day?”

“Nah. Not a word.”

Zay sighed. “She hit me a few times. Checkin’ in. Nothin’ serious. I think she just… wanted to make sure you was still breathin’.”

My jaw clenched. “I don’t even know if I want her back, bro.”

“That’s a lie,” Zay said, pointing his grease stained finger at me.

“You know you do. You just scared she gon’ say no.

” He wasn’t wrong. “The worst she can say is ‘fuck you.’ Which she probably will,” he shrugged, grinning.

“But if you care about her the way I know you do… then you owe her the truth. Even if it’s too late. ”

I didn’t respond right away. Just nodded and looked down at my food, no appetite left.

Zay clapped me on the back.

“Think on it, bro. You already lost your brother. Don’t lose the girl too especially when we both know she’s the best thing that ever happened to you; creatively and personally.”

Zay had dipped about twenty minutes ago, and now I was just sittin’ in the silence. Ashtray full. Plate damn near untouched. The TV was on, but I couldn’t tell you what channel it was.

The silence was different this time. It didn’t hurt as bad. Didn’t choke me the way it used to. Maybe because I wasn’t runnin’ from it anymore.

That apology shit wasn’t easy for me, but talkin’ to Zay felt like the first time I could breathe in weeks. I finally felt like I was takin’ a step toward somethin’… instead of away from it.

I leaned back, closed my eyes, and took a long pull from the blunt between my fingers. Averi’s name was still ringin’ in my ears.

She brought out some other shit in you, dawg… you was happy.

I hadn’t felt anything close to happy since the night I told her to leave. I knew I needed to get back to where I needed to be, had to get me right first before I could even think about doing right by her.

I picked up my phone and scrolled to Logan’s contact.

Me: You in LA?

He responded before I could even put the blunt down.

Logan: Always. What’s up?

Me: I’m comin’ to LA. Need help findin’ new rep. You got somebody in mind?

It took a second.

Logan: T anything else I could get there.

I stopped by my mama’s place that afternoon.

She was cleanin’, like always. A towel over her shoulder, gospel music in the background, chicken thawin’ in the sink.

“You leavin’ again?” she asked, not lookin’ up from her rag.

“Yeah,” I said. “Goin’ to LA for a while.”

She paused, wiped her hands. “You goin’ for business?”

“Yeah. Got some meetin’s. Label shit. Also, lookin into new management. King gone, so I need somebody to handle the business side of stuff.”

She nodded. “Need me to watch the G-Wagon?” a sly smile appeared on her face, and I chuckled.

“You already know.”

She smiled, soft and proud. “Be safe, baby.”

“I will.”

She came over and wrapped her arms around me, holdin’ me tight for a long second. I kissed her forehead and headed out.

Five days later, we were boarding a plane in Hartsfield Jackson.

A five hour plane ride later in the comfort of first class and we landed.

LAX was loud, fast and chaotic like always.

I hated it and missed it at the same time.

I came out to LA a lot, always needing to come to the label to get shit done.

I never stayed this long though, but this time I was on a mission.

Cory had arranged everything. Black Escalade waitin’ outside. Keys already in the hands of the driver--Andy. Zay already complaining about how he ain’t get no window seat.