Page 29 of Love Thy Enemy (The Vaughns #4)

“P lease do not think me forward…” began Tessa, though she immediately realized that statement in and of itself was a touch forward, for it implied that something problematic was forthcoming. She hesitated.

“Speak freely, Mrs. Stuart,” he said, slanting her a hint of a smile. “After the prying I’ve done into your life, I do not think there is anything forward you could say.”

“I was looking for a gentle manner in which to broach the subject, but I don’t suppose there is a need, is there?” she said with a responding half-smile, though it fell away as she considered what Faith had said to her that afternoon. “May I make a suggestion concerning the children?”

“Certainly, though whether or not I accept it will depend on the suggestion,” Mr. Vaughn replied in his usual brusque manner.

Tessa drew a sharp breath and forged ahead. “The girls need a proper nursemaid. Though they have Mrs. Todd to manage their education, and maids to attend to some of their needs, far too much of the work falls to Daphne.”

Mr. Vaughn halted in place, lifting his head as he gazed out at the forest with raised brows. “I assumed they didn’t have one because the girls were too old for such things.”

“True, but Eva is only eight years of age and exuberant.” Tessa paused beside him, her nose wrinkling as she considered that. “As much as I still wish to think of Daphne as a child, she is a young lady now, and ought to be spending her time out in company.”

“She is only seventeen,” said Mr. Vaughn, continuing on his way with a shake of the head.

“And many girls her age are already out. I made my debut at sixteen.”

That drew him to a stop again, his complexion growing ashen. “Sixteen is far too young to be in the company of men.”

Tessa’s brows rose. “That it is, but their company is not the only reason a girl makes her debut. My older sisters were enjoying themselves at balls and parties, and I did not wish to be left alone in the nursery. I wager Daphne is eager to join her friends in their merriment, and one’s coming out does not signify that one must accept a gentleman’s suit.

I, myself, did not marry Rodney until I was two and twenty, despite having ventured into society at the shocking age of sixteen. ”

Pleading eyes turned to her, and for all that Mr. Vaughn was quite a composed gentleman, the fatherly fear of daughters drained his face of its color.

“Daphne has already received an invitation to a small card party, but she isn’t out yet,” he said.

Tessa grinned, a flutter of excitement skittering along her skin as she recalled the first invitation she had ever received (or rather, the first her parents had received that included her name on it).

Mrs. Pettit’s penmanship was unparalleled, and the card she had sent round was of the finest quality.

With it being her first dinner party, Tessa had thought it the height of fashion, though with more mature eyes, she realized it was quite a simple affair.

“Is Daphne getting a new frock for the occasion?” asked Tessa, lapping up every detail she could scour.

“I haven’t said she could attend.”

“Are the hosts unsuitable?” Tessa asked with a frown.

“No, they are good people. Their daughter and Daphne are thick as thieves. And my brother and his wife will be in attendance.”

Tessa straightened. “Then why not? It sounds as though it is to be an intimate evening. There is nothing untoward about a young lady her age attending small affairs, even if she is not fully out in society yet.” Pausing, she reconsidered.

“Unless you do not trust your sister-in-law to serve as a suitable chaperone.”

“Not at all. But she is a child still… It is… I cannot…” Poor Sir Stoneface began to crumble before her, his pallor increasing as he stumbled for an explanation. “I know little of young ladies, but I know young men, and I do not trust them anywhere near her.”

The gentleman spoke with such terror, as though the very hounds of hell would surge up from the depths to steal her away.

And though the thought of her little girl facing mercenary menfolk sent an echoing shiver down Tessa’s spine, seeing the care and concern etched into Mr. Vaughn’s face helped to calm her own nerves: Daphne had a guardian to fend off the pirates that may try to come alongside, and hopefully soon, a mother to help her navigate the stormy seas. The girl was not alone.

“I know it is frightening, Mr. Vaughn, but locking her away isn’t the solution,” said Tessa. “Daphne is a young lady and ought to be allowed more freedom, else she shan’t be prepared to step into the world on her own—unless you wish her never to leave your side.”

Mr. Vaughn shook his head, and Tessa gave him a commiserating smile.

“Let her attend, and purchase her a new frock for the occasion,” she said as years of anticipation bubbled up in that sentence.

From the moment Tessa had learned she was expecting, she had imagined the child’s life.

Being a mother. Raising this little one.

And when Daphne was delivered, those imaginings sharpened into something more concrete.

Visions of gowns and ribbons. Balls and parties.

Shopping excursions and gossiping into the wee hours of the morning.

So much of that had been lost.

“If I agree to it, would you help her choose a gown?” asked Mr. Vaughn.

It was as though he had reached into her head, plucked out her dream, and presented it to her. Yet that same imagination that had built up such castles in the sky insisted on showing her the truth as well, and Tessa knew how Daphne would react.

Shaking her head, she forced a fragile smile. “If I attend, the outing would become about me when it ought to be all about her. There will be more shopping in the future. Hopefully, she will allow me to be part of it.”

Tessa clung to those words. This wasn’t Daphne’s first gown, and even if it held significance, there would be many more to come.

“But ask that sister-in-law of yours to take her. And the other ladies in your family,” said Tessa. “Daphne will require assistance, and I’ve seen how sweetly your family has accepted the children into their ranks.”

“That is an excellent idea, Mrs. Stuart,” he said with a nod, reaching over to shove aside a branch that hung in her path.

“I am glad to be of service,” she replied, and before she could think better of it, Tessa forced out the words that had been festering in her thoughts since their previous conversation.

“And I wish to apologize for the poor influence I’ve had on you.

I swear my behavior at the picnic is more indicative than what you have seen of late. ”

“Poor influence?” Mr. Vaughn jerked to a stop again, forcing Tessa to face him. “What do you mean? You haven’t been, else I would’ve been far more concerned about reintroducing you to the children.”

Clasping her skirts, she turned down the path, lifting them as she stepped over a fallen log. “I do believe you said you never had a temper before meeting me. It appears I have a habit of enraging the men in my life.”

But before she could cross the barrier, a hand darted forward, grabbing her and pulling her to a stop before him.

“That was not what I meant, Mrs. Stuart,” he said with a frown.

“I hadn’t thought I possessed a temper until this situation.

The strain of all the upheaval of late, combined with my confusion and pain surrounding the revelations about Rodney’s behavior, was at fault.

You, unfortunately, were merely the recipient of that fury, and I am sorry for that. ”

*

Though it hurt to say those words aloud, Gregory’s heart lightened at the admission.

Hiding from the truth only added to one’s troubles, and denying facts didn’t make them any less true.

Whether or not he had been acting on the knowledge he had at the time, it still pained him to think of how he had treated her.

Mrs. Stuart nodded and continued down the path, though when her ankle wobbled, Gregory chastised himself for not having offered his arm sooner. With a smile of gratitude, she took it now, and the pair wound their way through the forest.

“That may be true, Mr. Vaughn, but I did not help matters by allowing my temper to slip from my grasp.”

Gregory huffed at that. “The more I come to understand the history between you and your husband, the more I am in awe of your self-control, Mrs. Stuart.”

Despite having forced himself to stop many times, Gregory found himself back in Rodney’s journals again and again, turning through the past as he uncovered the earliest days of their marriage.

Reading through it was like witnessing Rodney’s accident.

Gregory had seen the signs of the coming trouble—the dancing hooves, the horse’s shrieks—yet knowing hadn’t stopped that fatal injury.

“I cannot believe I did not see what sort of person he was. I thought I knew him, and to discover it was all a lie…” said Gregory, the words struggling to get loose.

The heaviness in his middle sank further, weighing him down with all the questions he would never have the answers to.

“I believed him to be honorable and kind, and I fear it took me too long to realize the truth—”

Mrs. Stuart pulled on his arm, drawing him to a halt, and when Gregory faced her, a furrow marred her brow.

“Rodney had many good qualities, Mr. Vaughn. That he was fallible doesn’t discount how kind and honorable he was in most circumstances or that he was a good friend to you and a loving father to our children.”

“You are defending him?” asked Gregory, his brows rising. “After everything he did to you and your family?”

The faintest of smiles flitted across her face, all confusion with a dash of wry humor.

“Believe me, sir, I never thought I would say such things,” said Mrs. Stuart, a whisper of a laugh weaving through her tone.

But her expression sobered as she reached over to rest a hand on his forearm.

“No one is without sin, and I would hate for people to judge me based on my worst behaviors, so please do not judge Rodney because of his.”

“True,” he said with a nod. “However misguided his actions, Rodney believed himself the victim of your marriage, and he acted accordingly. Had his version of the past been true, I wouldn’t fault him for much of what he did.”

Drawing in a breath, Gregory peered into Mrs. Stuart’s eyes, hoping she would understand his meaning.

“What troubles me is that even after years of separation and maturing, Rodney was so convinced of his goodness and your wickedness that he was more concerned about you gaining control of the children than the fact that they were about to lose their father. You stand here, advocating for compassion and understanding, but he went to his grave cursing your name.”

And though Gregory didn’t know what he had expected to see in her expression, it certainly wasn’t the sorrow that dimmed her eyes and drew her brow low.

“I am sorry for that,” she said, her gaze turning to the forest around them. “Though I cannot say that I am surprised. I would like to say I would’ve come to my senses on my own, but I am fairly certain I would’ve ended as bitter and angry had I not lost everything.”

With a pained smile, Mrs. Stuart took his arm once more and nudged him down the path, their steps moving in time.

“You say I am compassionate, but that is only because you know me now. Had you met me just before Rodney left Leeds six years ago, you would’ve despised me as much as I despised myself,” she said in a hollow voice.

“It took losing everything for my heart to soften. I couldn’t accept responsibility in our mutual destruction until I had nothing left and was forced to ask myself why. ”

Mrs. Stuart snatched a leaf from a branch and twirled it in her free hand.

“When Rodney cast me out, my parents refused to drag the family into it. My friends took pity on me for a time, but after almost two years, they soon grew tired of their charity case and asked me to leave. Just about that time, Rodney accepted Eva’s parentage and moved the family out of my reach. ”

Letting out a huff of self-deprecating laughter, she glanced at him.

“I considered kidnapping them and escaping to the Continent or America, but thankfully, I didn’t have the money to do so.

Else I wouldn’t have reached that terrible moment where I had nothing and no one, and I realized I had to choose between wallowing in misery or changing. ”

“And you chose the latter.” Though he didn’t need to say the words, Gregory voiced them all the same, unable to mute the awe that he felt.

For all that the lady spoke as though making that choice had been a foregone conclusion, facing his demise and the Judgement to follow hadn’t inspired such a change of heart in her husband.

That moment had been the perfect time to see his life with new clarity, yet Rodney had wasted his final moments scaring his children’s guardian away from the one parent they had left in the world.

“Do you regret your marriage?” he asked.