Page 24 of Love Medley (Med Wreck Romance #1)

Chapter eighteen

Jake

U nfortunately, for the remainder of this week, I don’t see Lucy at all because our work schedules don’t match up.

By Thursday, after previously getting to see her every day, I’m in the depths of major Lucy withdrawal.

I’m tempted to beg my co-workers to swap shifts so that I can align one of them with Lucy’s, but then I risk losing my Saturday night off when I’m playing at TNT.

And she’s going to be there watching me play.

So until then, I’m reliving every moment of our “fake date,” which may have even turned real by the end.

The way Lucy stood up for me to Sterling and Sam still sends a jolt of warmth through me.

This woman has shown up for me in a way no one else has and for some reason seems to think the world of me.

For the first time, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I could be worthy in her eyes.

Even if I feel the opposite.

But I’m willing to look past that just for the chance to be with her. As long as she doesn’t believe I’m a failure, what does it matter what I think?

To exemplify how pathetic I am, I literally Google the question: How do you transition from fake dating someone to really dating her? According to love therapist Google, the first step is to acknowledge your feelings. Yup, check. Okay, second, tell her that you want to progress to real dating.

And there’s the rub.

Even though I think she might like me back—the way we held hands in the parking lot at Bill's still sends shivers down my spine—somehow everything changes when it comes time to act on that shaky assumption.

As if I conjured her out of thin air, my cell phone beeps. Lucy’s sent me this hilarious gif of a dancing puffy white dog. The fact that she’s been thinking about me too sends a bolt of energy through my veins.

Me: What is this atrocity? My poor eyes!

Lucy: Are you kidding me? This is the cutest thing ever. Emoji heart eyes 4eva

Me: That’s not a dog. That’s a cotton ball.

Lucy: We aren’t friends anymore.

I know she’s joking, but the word friends still makes my stomach drop. What if that’s all this is to her? What if I’ve been reading it all wrong?

Me: What kind of breed is it?

Lucy: Bichon frise.

Never heard of it. Quickly, I replace my fake dating inquiry with “bichon frise.”

Me: So basically this is the French word for a cotton ball.

Lucy: You’re awful! They're the cutest dogs on the planet.

Me: This is kibble for the real dogs. I.e. the noble labrador or the majestic golden retriever.

Lucy: …

Me: Ask anyone. They’ll agree with me.

Lucy: *rolls eyes* Whatever. Why aren’t we working together at all this week?!

Despite myself, I grin down at my phone. That means she misses me a little bit, right? I’m grasping for straws here, I know.

Me: Yeah, my schedule’s been a bit wonky because I had to switch some shifts to get Saturday off.

Lucy: I’m so excited to see you play at TNT!

Me: It’ll be a good time. Any of your friends coming?

Lucy: They’re all coming!

Me: I’ll make sure to leave four tickets with Eddie, the bouncer.

Lucy: What time should we be there?

Me: How does 8pm sound?

Lucy: Excellent. We’ll be there !

Those texts fill me with doubt—first she joked we “weren’t friends anymore,” and then she sounded like any other acquaintance accepting an invite. Revisiting the night at Bill’s in my mind, I decide I must have really misread her signals.

I don’t know why I thought I had a chance. I’m just glad I cleared that up before I made a complete fool of myself at TNT. Still, my heart continues to be an idiot and pump harder at the thought of seeing her again.

Somehow, I have to make my heart believe what my head already knows.

A few hours into my ER shift, I finish up some charting and decide it’s time to eat. As I’m about to open the door to the break room, I hear a voice behind me.

“Jake, can we talk?”

It’s Sam.

Inwardly, I groan. This is the last thing I want to deal with today, but if I’m honest, I wouldn’t want to deal with it any day. Also, if I never hear the words “can we talk” again, it’ll be too soon.

Out loud, I say, “Sure. I’m about to heat up my food.”

As Sam settles down at one of the tables behind me, I place my tupperware container in the microwave and set the time to three minutes.

Then I turn towards Sam, having no idea what I’m in for. “What’s up? ”

Sam’s gnawing on her bottom lip, not a good sign. “You’re dating Lucy, that med student, right? Why didn’t you tell me about her when I told you about Sterling?”

I shrug. “I guess I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Of course, the truth is that I wasn’t fake dating Lucy yet, but I can’t tell Sam that.

Sam narrows her eyes. “I felt terrible about coming to you about Sterling, and you made me feel like an asshole for telling you. But the whole time, you were also dating someone new! God, Jake, this is the same shit you pulled when we were dating!”

My shoulders tense—did Sam always make me feel this stressed? “What are you talking about, Sam?”

Sam huffs in frustration. “We were dating for an entire year, and you never talked about your family. What was I, some sort of embarrassing secret?! And now, you’re parading this new girlfriend around town already so proud of her, what, because she’s a med student, not a lowly secretary?”

Shame pours through me when I realize how Sam felt—like she didn’t measure up. I know that feeling intimately, after all, and I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. While I don’t want to date her again, I also don’t want to hurt her.

Although…it might not be a bad idea for Sterling to experience that—once or twice.

Still, this is too much to deal with during an ER shift. “Look, Sam, my feelings about my family are complicated, and I’m just not close to them the way you are with yours. I’ve never been ashamed of you, but I can see how you might have interpreted it that way. I’m really sorry.”

Tears spring to Sam’s eyes, and she swipes at them furiously.

I hate it’s my fault she’s upset, but that doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together either. “I’m not trying to excuse my behavior, but can you truly say that this was our only issue?”

Sam glares at me, but finally relents, shaking her head. “I guess not. We don’t really have that much in common.”

I laugh, relief crashing over me like a wave. “I’m sure you’re glad not to deal with me playing video games and pounding on a keyboard anymore.”

She sends me a sheepish grin. “Maybe you’re right. I’m sorry about Sterling too. It must have been a shock to discover we were dating. I hope you realize it wasn’t on purpose; I had no idea he was your brother.”

I can’t help myself—maybe I have a little bit of Sterling inside me after all. “I guess you have a type.”

“Oh my God! Jake!” Sam pretends to be outraged, but her watery smile gives her away.

“Hey, you left yourself open for that one.”

“True. Also, Sterling was a total ass at the dinner Tuesday night. We had a talk about it.”

I raise my eyebrows. Maybe Sam’s innate assertiveness could be good for my brother.

“Who knows if he’ll listen to me. Time will only tell.”

“I think it’s great that you’re talking to him about this so early on,” I say honestly. “I know you and I could have communicated better as a couple, and I was probably the biggest part of that problem. ”

Sam offers me a wry smile. “To be fair, I didn’t really want to broach the topic either after that first time,” she admits. “Sometimes it’s just easier to stay with the status quo instead of making a change.”

She’s not wrong. “Yeah, that’s for sure.”

The break room door swings open and in walks Lucy with a couple of greasy brown paper bags.

Stunned speechless, I stare at Lucy for a few beats in confusion. “Is…is that what I think it is?” I ask, my mouth finally catching up to my brain. Part of me still thinks she’s a daydream, because she can’t actually be here…for me.

Can she?

Sam glances between me and Lucy. “I’m gonna head back to work. Bye, guys.”

After she leaves, Lucy raises her eyebrows at me. “What was that about?”

“Just dealing with some unresolved issues,” I say, not wanting to talk about Sam. I just want to focus on this vision in front of me. She’s here. She’s really here. “Don’t tell me you brought me Bill’s burgers, you wonderful woman.”

Lucy seems preoccupied. “I dreamt about them after you took me there on Tuesday. But maybe you just want to eat your chicken and broccoli instead.” She sends me a half-teasing smile, but something is off about it.

I’m not sure why she suddenly seems distant, but all I want is for her to be completely present—with me. “Fuck, no. Hand that over. ”

At that, Lucy beams at me, and a weight is lifted off my chest.

Bringing burgers to me…that took thoughtfulness, time, and preparation. This is more than just friendship, right? Could this really be more?