Page 11 of Love Me Back (Diamond Creek #2)

Jessie

I let the door slam behind me as I stomped out of the house and down the steps, knowing he couldn’t follow me.

Was it childish?

Maybe.

He caught me talking to my uncle, and I didn’t know how much he heard. And then he kissed me. It wasn’t the moment I had worked up in my mind. It wasn’t anything like the moments Ellie wrote in her books.

I expected... I didn’t know what I expected, but I sure as hell didn’t expect it to feel the way it did. It was magical. And I didn’t use that word lightly. I wasn’t a flowery, rainbows and unicorns person like Ellie. Any time she described anything, it was with flourish and imagination.

I was literal. I was black and white. There was very little gray in my life. Ha! I think I made a pun. I’ll have to ask Ellie about it later.

But that kiss was something I had dreamed about for months. Every time he was near me, I wanted him to grab me and kiss me. I wanted him to say, ‘To hell with what she wants, she’s mine,’ like the bikers did.

God, it would have been so much easier to be attracted to one of them.

Romeo was gorgeous. There was no denying that.

Ace looked like a lumberjack. I’d have to talk Ellie into writing about a lumberjack; she could use Ace for inspiration.

Even Stocks, for all his creepy vibes, was hot.

I probably could have had my pick of them.

But no, my insides decided they would quiver for a giant cowboy who had too many damn manners .

He took what he wanted.

And then he went and ruined it by saying it never should have happened.

Was he wrong?

Oh, shut the hell up!

I hated arguing with myself. There was never any joy in debating someone with logic. You couldn’t trip them up with emotion.

I looked around to see where I was. I hadn’t been paying attention when I stormed off. It didn’t matter where I was going, it only mattered that he couldn’t chase after me.

But you want him to chase after you.

I said, shut the hell up!

Looking up at the sky I shook my head. I realized I had no idea what I wanted. No, that wasn’t true. I wanted Grayson. I just couldn’t have him. He didn’t want me anymore, and even if he did, I would never put him at risk.

He’s already at risk!

But the risk wasn’t because of me. At least that was what my uncle assured me. Though I couldn’t be entirely sure.

I looked around again. I hadn’t realized how far I’d walked from the house. Barns surrounded me, each one with a small paddock that connected to a large field.

I walked through the first barn, but it was empty, every stall door open into the small paddock, which was also empty. Moving to the next barn, it was also empty. The horses must have been out in the fields.

I wasn’t even sure why I was in here. I didn’t like horses; I didn’t like most animals. They were big and dirty. I’d needed something though. Something that would get my mind off Grayson and that kiss and the fact that he’d heard my phone call.

Moving to the third barn, I walked slowly through it.

There was no one around. I assumed they were off doing ranch things, though I had no idea what those things were.

I didn’t know anything about what a ranch did.

I knew Grayson trained horses for others.

I knew they raised cattle. But the day-to-day things to make the ranch run and be profitable, I had no idea about.

I heard a noise that sounded like a snort. Moving closer to one of the stalls, I looked over the door and there was one horse. His gate was open to the paddock, but he didn’t seem to want to be outside.

He looked up at me and snorted again before stomping a hoof on the ground. His ears pricked up, and he snorted a third time. My feet moved on their own. Why I got closer, I had no idea, but there was something about this horse that drew me in.

He chose to be alone. To hide in his stall rather than be with the others. I placed my hand on the top of the door and leaned my chin on my knuckles.

“Hey, boy. Looks like you and me have something in common.”

His nostrils flared as the noise he made seemed to get louder. His hoof hit the floor again, and I swear I felt the building shake.

“I like to be alone too,” I told him. My foot found a step in the door, lifting me enough to lay my arms over the top. “Wanna talk?”

The horse watched me. I didn’t know his name. Didn’t know if he was a guest or a resident. But there was something about him that eased a part of me. Like I was looking at a kindred spirit. Someone who was judged and discarded as mean and temperamental.

I wasn’t stupid; I knew what the flared nostrils and stomping hooves meant. But at the same time, I felt like maybe it was a defense mechanism. Like when I spouted off and hurt someone’s feelings before they could hurt mine.

“If you don’t wanna talk, maybe you could just listen?” His ears flickered, and I smiled. He wouldn’t come near me, but he wasn’t rushing the door either.

“I screwed up. I shouldn’t have come here. To be honest, I shouldn’t have stayed in Diamond Creek. Once I knew Ellie was settled, I should have moved on. It had always been the plan.”

I laid my head on my arms and looked at my new friend. Friend might be pushing it, but hey, he hadn’t left me yet .

“I never should have let them get close. Should never have let him get close. It will just be that much worse when I leave. And I’ll have to leave. I can’t put everyone here at risk.”

The horse took a step closer, and I froze. I watched him closely as he moved around the stall, wondering if I should back up. Something inside me told me to stay put. Maybe it was my own longing to belong. To be trusted.

“I’m taking a chance here with you. I want to trust you. But you are kind of scary.”

The horse stopped moving closer. His tail swished, and I wondered how he could move it like that.

I knew dogs had muscles that extended into their tails, but this guy’s tail was all hair.

At least I thought it was. I’d never actually touched a horse.

Maybe what looked like hair was really tiny little muscles.

I shook my head and smiled. I was losing my mind.

“I wish I knew what to feed you. I’d offer you a treat, but I don’t know what horses eat, and I don’t want to give you something that will make you sick.”

His ears flickered again, as if he were listening and could understand me. Maybe they were like dogs and understood the word treat.

“I’ll look it up later and bring you something tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to ask ’cause I don’t want anyone to know I’m here. I need a place to run where Grayson can’t find me.”

The horse reared up, and I jumped off the door. Something I said made him react, and I wasn’t sure what it was. I backed up against the stall across from his when he hung his head over the door.

“Did I say something wrong?”

My eyes widened when the horse shook its head from side to side. I swear he knew what I was saying. I narrowed my eyes and wondered.

“Do you want me to come back tomorrow?”

He dropped his head up and down and snorted again. I really was losing my mind. My parents used to talk about a show years back called Mr. Ed , the talking horse. Was this what they meant? Could horses talk?

I shook my own head, trying to dislodge the ridiculous notion that a horse could talk. But before I left, I told him, “I’ll be back tomorrow. And I’ll bring you something.”

I hurried from the barn and made my way back to the house. I wasn’t sure what awaited me, but I was here to do a job, and I gave my word.

My trip back to the house was much slower than the trip to the barns. Partly because I wasn’t ranting and raving in my head, not paying attention to where I was going, and partly because I wasn’t in a hurry to go back like I was to get away.

I walked up the steps, stopped, and stared at the front door. I blew out a breath, hoping to dispel the stress and anxiety I was feeling about facing Grayson again.

However, when I stepped inside and found his hard eyes glaring back at me, I knew it hadn’t worked.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I went for a walk,” I said, closing the door behind me. Brushing past him, I tried to get away, but he once again grabbed my wrist, and I felt that shockwave shoot up my arm. I yanked it away from him. I couldn’t let him touch me. Every time he did, I lost a piece of my resolve.

“Jessie, I’m sorry for earlier.”

“You said that already.” He followed me into the kitchen, and I got myself busy making coffee. I loved coffee, but if I made coffee every time Grayson made me feel flustered and confused, my stomach lining would dissolve.

“Would you please talk to me?”

I slammed my hands on the counter and took a deep breath. Spinning around, I looked at the man. He was so handsome it hurt. It physically hurt my chest to want him so much, knowing that I could never be with him.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have kissed you earlier. That was my lack of control when it comes to you. I know you don’t feel what I feel, and I should have stopped pestering you months ago. I won’t let it happen again. I want us to be friends.”

This was my chance. This was the moment for me to reach out and tell him the truth. That I did feel what he felt. That I wasn’t sorry he lost control and kissed me. That I didn’t want to be his friend. I wanted to be so much more.

But it would never work.

So instead, I pushed what I wanted down, again, and told him what he wanted to hear.

“I’d like us to be friends, too.”

His smile was so wide and bright that my eyes burned. I turned away and finished making the coffee.

“Should we talk about what your plans are?”

My hands froze. My plans? I cautiously looked over my shoulder, but Grayson’s focus was on something else. “My plans?”

“To help me adjust?”

“Oh, right.” Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and said, “Well, some of it would include exercises to work the muscles in your legs. Once the swelling goes down, if you are able to walk again, you don’t want your muscles to be weak.”

“What does that look like?” he asked.

“Well, you’ll need to lie down, so maybe first thing in the morning, or just before bed.

” Do not think about Grayson in bed, do not think about Grayson in bed.

“We’ll also work on adjusting things in the house, in case the injury is permanent.

Things like making sure there are wide enough spaces to get the chair through, lowering items you might need daily, like the coffee and mugs, to a lower cabinet, or maybe keeping them on the counter. ”

“Okay. Do you have a preference for when to do the exercises?”

“It’s really up to you,” I said as I brought two cups of coffee to the table, setting one down in front of him.

“Thank you.” He took a sip of his coffee and then looked at me with a smile that appeared calculating. “Right before bed would be best. We can start tonight.”