Page 9 of Love Legacy

“To Beta Nu!” Raven cheers, downing her shot. We all follow suit, downing our shots. The bus pulls out, the driver blasting music over the speakers. Based on the song selection, I’d take a guess and say one of the sisters had their phones hooked up to the bus sound system.

After a couple more drinks and almost a dozen songs later, we pull up to the bar.

Now, I understand why they decided we’d all take the party bus tonight.

This bar was in the city, about forty-five minutes from campus.

While Pinebrook University was a small school with a fairly large campus, the town it’s situated in has nothing.

Usually, if you want to do anything besides going to frat parties or bowling, you have to travel a little bit.

We all head into the club, one of the doormen escorting us to the booth that the sorority had reserved.

We all crowd in, and again, I end up next to Sage, this time between her and Maeve.

A waitress comes by and takes our drink orders.

It looks like we still managed to get to the club early because the drag queen still hasn’t started her performance yet.

“Hey, you guys should be able to leave and re-enter without having to stand in line until the end of the drag show, so if y’all are hungry, the taqueria next door is open until like four AM,” Stephanie states.

Sage shifts next to me as she takes off her blazer, laying it over the back of the booth seat. Sage’s left side is pressed close to me, her full-sleeve tattoo on display.

“I like your tattoos,” I say, leaning in close to Sage, trying to talk over the sound of the music playing.

She grins, leaning in too. “Thanks, Naomi. Can I just say again you look amazing? Like seriously, that outfit compliments you so well.”

I blush a little. “Thanks. It’s a little more exposed than I’m used to, but I needed to try something new.” I tug up on my body suit, trying to pull up the low neckline.

“I’ll keep an eye out, let you know if anything’s too exposed,” she says, nudging me with her elbow.

“Thank you.”

Our drinks arrive right as the drag show begins.

I grab my Tequila Sunrise before heading over to the makeshift ‘stage,’ which was just a sectioned-off part of the dance floor.

We gather around, watching the drag queen, Rachel Tension, come out and put on a show, doing her performance to a medley of Doja Cat songs.

She makes her way up to a little platform near the DJ booth, dancing along. She points to Sage and me, motioning for us to join her on the platform.

“Me? Oh no. I can’t,” I say, shaking my head.

“Come on, Naomi. It’ll be fun, let’s carpe diem this bitch!” Sage shouts, grabbing my hand and pulling me with her. We climb onto the platform as well, crowding in with Ms. Tension. The three of us dance together, Sage pressed against my back and Rachel Tension behind her.

Our sorority sisters cheer us on from the dance floor. “Go, Sage! Go, Naomi! Go, Sage! Go, Naomi!” I could feel the bass of the music pulsing through my body, and as much as I wanted to get lost in the moment, I couldn’t get out of my head.

I feel so anxious on this platform. This outfit isn’t me, clubbing isn’t me, and being up here isn’t me.

My heart gradually begins racing, the blood pounding in my ears drowning out the bass of the speakers on the platform next to us.

My skin begins to crawl, and suddenly, my bodysuit feels too restrictive.

Once the song finally ends, I bolt from the DJ platform, heading straight for the front door.

Once outside, I lean against the exterior of the building, bracing myself on the wall.

I gulp down the fresh air, trying to catch my breath.

I rub my hands on the wall behind me, the brick cutting into my palms, into my fingers, grounding me back in the moment.

My heart rate begins to slow, but I still can’t hear anything.

Everything sounds so muffled at the moment.

I’ve had only a handful of these episodes before, all within the last year, during everything that happened at High Valley. The last one? When I told my parents I was accepted to Pinebrook University and I would be moving to New York.

I mentioned something about these episodes to my grandmother, she said it could be anxiety, that my mama dealt with something similar when she was younger. She suggested I should see someone about it, but when I tried to bring it up to my parents, my daddy just said I should pray on it.

Normally, I’m okay with managing my stress, but every once in a while, I get extremely overwhelmed. Like today…

I feel a hand grab my arm, jolting me out of my thoughts. I look up to see Sage outside with me, her brow furrowed with concern.

“Hey, are you okay, Naomi? You bolted out of there pretty quickly.”

I take a deep breath, centering myself, before answering, “Hey, Sage, sorry about that. I’m fine, I was just—”

“Having a panic attack?” she finishes for me, giving me a sympathetic smile. “My roommate Cora gets those from time to time too.”

I bite my lip, nodding. “Yeah, I just—I just needed to get out of there and get some fresh air.”

Sage holds her arms out. “Is it okay if I give you a hug right now?” I step into her arms, wrapping mine around her waist. She squeezes me tight, resting her cheek against the top of my head.

“I’m sorry for pulling you up there with me.

Next time I’ll check in with you before I just force you out of your comfort zone. ”

“Thanks for checking on me, Sage,” I say after a moment, muffled since my face is buried in her chest.

“Of course, my Georgia peach, that’s what sorority sisters are for! Now are you good to head back inside, or do you want to hang out here for a little longer?” she asks me, leaning away just a bit so that she can look me in the eye.

“I think I’m okay.” I pull away, taking a tissue out of my purse to dab under my eyes.

“Awesome, because the drag show is over and I can already hear them playing my song,” Sage says, doing a little salsa dance and eliciting a laugh out of me. She throws her arm around my shoulders as we walk back into the club to join the rest of our sorority.