Page 98 of Love Deep

He hands the laptop to me.

The file is headed “Alden Family Security,” and underneath are the words “Gerry Banks.”

The first page is full of stuff I already know. Where he works. His career history. I skim down to the section of the report subtitled “Family Background.”

It says how he was raised by a single mother. For years, he thought his father had died. Later, he found out that he was the result of an affair his mother had with a married man whom she’d worked with briefly.

Inexplicably, my heart begins to race and my palms slick with sweat. I pull in a breath, trying to steady myself. I read on.

Name of father: David Grant

That’s my father’s name.

My mouth goes dry and my heart stops. I can’t hear anything. I don’t know if I’m still breathing. I glance up at Jack as if to say, is this what I think it is? He’s wearing a concerned expression.

It’s exactly what I think it is.

“My fucking father ishisfather?” I spit out.

“It would seem so.”

“And he’s known? All this time?” I hand the laptop back to Jack. “So he hates me because he hates my… our dad?”

Jack swallows. “Your father never took responsibility for him. He refused to acknowledge paternity and wouldn’t submit to a test. You got him. He didn’t. Your father chose you.”

I try to make sense of what Jack’s saying. My father chose me? I certainly never felt that way. Since the divorce, he’d never made much effort with me.

“So how do we know he’s Gerry’s father?” Maybe Gerry’s mistaken. My thoughts start to race. If I can convince my dad to take the test, we can prove it once and for all.

“I don’t think Ms. Banks, Gerry’s mother, ever had a doubt. And anyway, your fatherdidsubmit his DNA eventually. After Ms. Banks served him with court papers.”

Does my mom know? Is that why they ended up divorcing. “When did that happen?”

“Gerry was fifteen when she launched the lawsuit.” I scan the screen and nausea rises in my belly.

I was eighteen. That’s when my parents divorced. I wonder if my mom knew all along.

He was someone’s father and tried to pretend he wasn’t. He was worse than I ever thought he was. I thought he was faking being a happy family man. I just didn’t know how deep his deceit went.

“It doesn’t say if your dad paid anything,” Jack says. “Gerry got a full scholarship to Penn State.”

“What year did he go?” I ask, trying to find the answer in the text in front of me.

Jack recites the dates. It’s a question he’s already asked himself. Gerry started the year as I entered my final year.

“So he turned eighteen just before I graduatedfrom college. That tracks. Maybe Gerry’s mom told him then.” I turn to Jack. “You think he followed me into the music business or do you think that was a coincidence?”

Jack shrugs. “Seems like abigcoincidence.”

“He’s still coming after me for my father’s mistakes,” I say. “When is it ever going to stop?”

“I don’t know, Fisher. But at least you know what you’re up against. It’s definitely personal for him.”

“He probably thinks I had a charmed upbringing.” I sigh. “I suppose I did in a lot of ways. But it wastooperfect. And it was all a lie.”

I’ve always given my mom equal blame with Father for portraying the charade of being a happy, loving family. But maybe she was blindsided by the other side of my father just like I was. “I should call my mom.”

“Tread carefully. It may not be something she wants to discuss. Not now after all this time.”