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forty-two

I had never felt smaller in my life. Instinctively, I stepped closer to Rune and gripped his hand with both mine.

We’d made it.

We’d actually made it all the way down that rock that could be considered a damn mountain, and we’d gone all the way up the golden bridge. Now we were in front of those large stairs some hundred feet above the water, waiting for someone to come for us. To open those gates that looked even bigger from closer up. They were made of white—could have been marble or rock or wood, I don’t know—and engraved with gold everywhere.

The fear in my chest became more and more intense with every passing second. Rune could probably feel it in the way I tightened my hold on his hand, so he turned his head to me and said, “Don’t be afraid, Wildcat. You’re safe now.”

He believed that with all his heart—I could tell by the way he looked at me.

The problem was, I didn’t know this place at all, and it looked far too good to be true—or even real. All my instincts demanded that I turn back now and run while I still had the chance. Run all the way back to that tunnel and to Blackwater and to the Neutral Lands, and never look back until I was home again.

I knew it was just the fear speaking, but it had never been so loud, that voice. Not even when I was staring death in the face.

“I know,” I told Rune because I didn’t want him to worry. And I tried to distract myself with the water below, and the moon in the sky, and the giant walls of this Court ahead of me, but nothing worked until the right gate actually began to slide backward.

My heart stood perfectly still for a good moment, until three men stepped out with swords around their hips, wearing dark velvet and gold—and two of them wore golden helmets, too.

Not the one in the middle, though. He held his under his arm, his other hand on the handle of his sheathed sword as he slowly came down the wide stairs. He was blond and tall and beautiful enough to make anyone stare at those deep brown eyes that came alive when he waved his hand up and golden lights burst into existence in the air.

He stopped when he was still five steps above us.

“Rune?” he said, and my heart jumped again.

“Hello, Delias,” Rune said with a nod. “Sorry to make you open up the front. I couldn’t go around back tonight.”

The Seelie fae shook his head, and he looked perfectly confused, even more so when his eyes landed on me. “What’s the meaning of this? I didn’t know you were out—what…where were you? Are you well?”

He scanned Rune’s body up and down, and he genuinely looked concerned.

“I am,” Rune said. “Delias, this is Nilah Dune.” He stepped a little to the side and looked at me. “She’s the prince’s Lifebound.”

The look on the man’s face could have been funny. His lips parted and his eyes became even more golden as he took me in, shook his head, tried to speak but couldn’t.

And finally, he lowered his head deeply, and so did the other two guards behind him as soon as they took their helmets off.

“Welcome, Nilah Dune,” Delias said in half a voice, wide eyes on Rune again. “We…we thought she died. Sir Helid returned two days ago.”

“She’s very much alive,” Rune said, stepping closer to me again, and I instantly felt a little better. “And we’d be really grateful if you could take us to the prince.”

The fae didn’t hesitate at all. They stepped aside to let us through, and Rune led me forward like he knew I wouldn’t be able to walk if he didn’t pull me by the hand. But my body moved for him even when I didn’t have control over it, so before I knew it, I was inside the gates.

Before I knew it, I was in the Seelie Court of Verenthia, surrounded by impossibly beautiful people with golden hair and golden skins, with glowing lights floating about the air, with houses and flowers and gorgeous colorful trees everywhere I looked.

Yet I couldn’t shake the bad feeling in my gut for a second.

They put us in a carriage, Rune and I, and they asked us if we wanted food or anything else while they took us to the castle. I only asked for water, and they brought me a gold-colored metal bottle like the one we’d had with in the tunnel.

In the tunnel—where we’d been together for the last time.

The carriage was luxurious to say the least, with large velvet seats and enough space to call it a small room. The doors were grilled with bars of gold that reminded me of those golden cages in the Enclave, and the outside was so open, so bright that I couldn’t look away for a long time while the white horses took us forward, led by Delias himself.

But even the wonderful things I could see through the windows, the music that came our way every few feet, the lights, the children playing, the flowers that grew on the surface of the buildings—even though this entire place made me feel like I was traveling right through a dream, I couldn’t help but feel sad. Desperate. In pain.

Because of Rune.

“You’re safe, Wildcat, I promise you,” he said to me when I continued to tighten my grip on his hand.

It wasn’t because I wasn’t feeling safe, though. But we’d already decided that I would speak to the prince first, so I had to bite my tongue.

“Those masked men in the tunnel,” I said, both because I was curious, and because I wanted to distract myself a little bit. “They were Seelie fae, too. Right?”

“Yes,” Rune said. “But Delias and his unit are trustworthy.”

“I don’t mean about now, Rune. I just mean in general.” Nobody was going to attack me here, I thought, even if they knew who I was—this place was crawling with fae, and I doubted they’d stand by and do nothing if they saw the prince’s Lifebound being attacked.

“Right now, I don’t want you to worry about anything. We will catch those men, whoever they are. They will be brought to justice. It’s over, Wildcat. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

Again, he believed in that wholeheartedly.

I didn’t.

And it no longer mattered.

The queen’s palace was possibly the size of a skyscraper. All those pointy golden tips of the towers, over twenty of them, pierced the sky like they were defying the darkness, daring it to spread farther. Stairs and railings made of gold, flowers, real and engraved every few feet, thick purple carpets and men and women impeccably dressed all around me.

I walked up the main stairs with my head up, feeling just slightly better about being in Miriam’s dress and Raja’s boots. And Rune walked right by my side, hooking my hand around his forearm, giving me energy with his warmth.

Everybody turned to look at me as Delias and his two friends led us toward the gates of the palace, which could have been just as big as those at the entrance of the Court.

I got dizzy so fast by all the colors and the richness and the scents in the air. Flowers and colognes and sweets—they all made me sick when combined together like that, but I bit my tongue and held it in and just let Rune guide me forward.

Run, the voice in my head said, and it said it with every step I took. Run, Nilah, run— yet I continued to walk ahead because I knew where the voice came from. Where the fear came from. The reason why I didn’t want to see the end of this journey.

He was walking right beside me still.

Tears pricked the back of my eyes as people stopped and looked and whispered at one another, some even smiled at me and waved.

Soon, everything turned blurry, the paintings on the walls and the lights and the crystal chandeliers. The flowers and all that gold, gold, gold —it all turned blurry to my tearful eyes and I was thankful for it. I’d had enough. I didn’t want to see, not until I no longer had a choice.

And that moment came much too soon.

A large hallway was in front of us, the wall on the left lined with soldiers, their helmets on, their hands on their sword handles. The right side was open, a beautiful golden railing slithering around the edge.

The hallway opened into a round area with flowers all around, and with only one set of doors on the far right. It was like a huge round balcony, the floor made of black and white marble, the high ceiling held up by thick pillars that connected the golden railings together. The view outside was breathtaking—the entire city drenched in golden light. The water of the river that wrapped around the palace like it was trying to hug it glowed golden, too. The lights were motionless, though, so I knew they weren’t fish. Probably lights placed somewhere in the bed of the river.

As much as I wanted to just stay there for a minute, breathe and take in the view, I couldn’t. Rune moved and my legs followed, and then I was in front of the doors.

Delias knocked and stepped aside, and it’s over, it’s over, it’s all as good as over.

The door was opened from the inside by another guard. I sucked in a deep breath and waited—I don’t know what for.

Delias said something, but my ears were blocked by this white noise all of a sudden, so I didn’t hear it. I couldn’t focus on anything, and when the guard stepped aside, if Rune hadn’t pulled me through the door, I’d have just stayed there, frozen in place like an idiot.

But the door behind me closed. Rune stopped walking a few feet in, and then I had no choice but to blink the tears away. No choice but to breathe in. No choice but to force that noise out of my ears and focus.

Yes, everything was over—but I still had to heal the prince.

Three things I noticed when my focus was mine again, and I could actually see where I was.

The vastness of the room we were in. The large bed at the far left corner. The people inside it all watching me with eyes and mouths wide open.

Velvet and gold and low lights in the corners of the ceiling. The chandelier in the middle twice as big as me was off. Windows in the wall across from us, twelve of them, the frames painted gold. Furniture made of velvet, thick and colorful carpets.

The bed, big enough to possibly fit ten grown people comfortably, was occupied by only one, lying on the very edge of the right side.

The man seemed to be sleeping, and near him was a woman with a crown on her head, and a dress that could have been made out of liquid gold.

She stood up, eyes on me—no, no—on Rune.

She came slowly all around the huge bed, walking gracefully like her feet didn’t even touch the wooden floor at all.

She stopped at the side of the bed, wrapped a hand full of rings around one of the pillars at the corner without a word.

Rune bowed deeply then, letting go of my hand for the first time since we came here.

And now I was fucking falling.

“My Queen,” he said, and every inch of my skin crawled.

“I don’t believe it,” said a man coming closer from the far left of the room where he’d been sitting with others—two men and a woman.

It was Helid, the prince’s uncle, the very man who’d convinced me to come to this place days ago. “Nilah?!”

My lips opened to speak. I couldn’t say a single word.

“What is the meaning of this?”

The woman spoke.

The queen spoke . An actual fae queen with a golden crown over her head, her blonde hair the same golden hue, long and braided over her shoulder, the tip reaching her thighs.

“She is the prince’s Lifebound,” Rune said as Helid continued to come closer and blink his eyes as if he couldn’t believe them for real.

“Yes, yes—but why are you with the Lifebound?” A step forward, and the queen suddenly looked enraged as she looked at Rune. “Why—speak at once and tell me—why are you with the Lifebound?!”

Holy fuck—what the hell was her problem?

“He saved me,” I said before I could help myself, and somehow my voice worked. Dry and small, but it worked. “He brought me here alive. If it wasn’t for him, I’d have died in the Neutral Lands.” I turned to Helid. “Where you left me.”

Queen or no queen, she couldn’t talk to Rune like that, not when he had risked his life to save mine over and over.

“By Reme,” Helid said, bringing his hands to his chest. “It is her, sister! It’s the mortal!”

But the queen looked at Rune still as she came closer, and Rune lowered his head, and it fucking killed me—because why in the fuck would she be pissed off right now when I had made it? I was here! I was going to heal her son!

“I did not give you permission to leave the Court, bastard,” the Queen said, and it was a goddamn miracle I didn’t burst out laughing or start calling her names.

“I didn’t think I needed one, My Queen. I went with Sir Helid to make sure they had help if they needed it,” Rune said, his voice calm, that same tone as always, not a whisper and not fully voice. He wasn’t pissed off in the least.

“Smart boy,” Helid said, but the queen didn’t care. She stopped three feet away and folded her hands in front of her, raising her chin as she looked at Rune.

“Without permission,” she said.

“I—” Rune started, but that was about enough for me.

“He saved me,” I said, and the queen turned to me, shocked. “Rune saved my life over and over again. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here at all, but I am. I came to awaken Lyall, who I assume is your son, the man lying there on that bed. I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for Rune.”

I couldn’t even decipher the look on her face, but she was not as happy as I thought she would be. As she should have been to see me there.

“Why?” she said instead, again, the question aimed at Rune. “Why did you take it upon yourself to bring the Lifebound here, bastard?”

You fucking bitch, I thought in my mind, but I didn’t say it.

I would only come to be thankful for that later on.

“Because the prince saved me once. I wanted to make sure that he came back to us in any way I could,” Rune said, and his words rang true.

The queen waited a heartbeat, then looked at Helid, who nodded his head slowly.

“Very well. You are dismissed, bastard. Leave us,” she said, and it was like she drove a knife right through my gut.

“Yes, My Queen,” Rune said, and he looked at me for just a moment.

He looked at me, and in his eyes I gathered the courage I needed not to beg him to stay or run after him. I didn’t need to get him into more trouble with this woman. She was fucking nuts, I thought, and I would rather talk to the prince first.

So, Rune turned around and walked out the door the guard held open for him without another word.

Not enough air in my lungs.

Someone stepped in front of me—Helid. His hands were on my shoulders.

Please don’t touch me. The words remained stuck in my throat.

“Let me look at you—and here I thought we lost you! By the stars, you look good! Healthy, rested. A little bit of blood and dirt, but not too much. Good, good!”

My eyes moved from his face to the queen. She analyzed my every feature with a coldness I hadn’t come across before, like she was taking fucking notes about every detail those cold yellow eyes took in. She was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking with that hair and those ears and those beautiful full lips, but there was something about her that made me restless, that sent all my instincts into overdrive.

Helid said something else I didn’t hear, then stepped to the side. The queen came forward and every inch of my skin rose in goose bumps.

“So, you are the Lifebound mortal,” she said, looking down at my body next, her expression still unreadable. “Our seer saw you, but I didn’t really believe it, to be honest.” Her hand full of those golden rings moved to the side, toward the woman who stood by the armchairs and the fully set table together with the other two men.

A quick look and my heart skipped a beat. She didn’t look like the rest of them at all. Her eyes were so light they were almost completely white, and her hair as well. As white as a sheet of paper. Her skin was grey and wrinkled, her limbs thin, the white dress hanging on her shoulder possibly five sizes too big.

“I don’t believe it now, either—not until I see it.” The queen’s hand came to my face, but I raised my chin before she could touch me. “You are beautiful, though. It surprises me. Mortals rarely are.”

“I think you just haven’t met many,” I said, my voice hushed now. As angry as I was, it was easy to see that I was afraid, too. Without Rune, I was so… vulnerable .

“Perhaps,” the queen said. “So, you’re here to heal my son.”

“I am. It’s why I crossed the Aetherway with your brother.”

She pressed her lips together. “So… unrefined, ” she whispered, and had it been any other day I’d have probably flipped her both birds. “Helid, search her, and let’s get on with it. I’m tired. I want to rest.”

She turned, moved back, and the vanilla scent she left behind infused the air as if it were magic.

Some of it was, I thought. I realized now that I was forcing myself to focus that there was a lot of magic in this room, in this entire Court. It didn’t bother me at all—I just felt it humming if I focused, felt it pressing against my bare skin. That’s why the hair on the back of my neck seemed to be permanently standing at attention since I walked in here.

If only Rune was next to me…

Instead, Helid stepped in front of me again and touched my shoulders, and it took everything out of me not to step away. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this wasn’t going to last long. It was almost over—the prince was right there.

And Helid’s hands warmed up instantly against my shoulders, the kind of warmth I knew. The kind of warmth that was magic because it was the same as what I felt before I made things float on air.

Helid had closed his eyes, too, and for a moment, my heart stopped at the idea that he would see . He would see right into my mind and would know that I had that warmth, and that was not good. Rune said nobody should know except the prince— nobody.

But before I could move back and jerk his hands off me in panic, Helid opened his eyes again and let go of me himself. For a second there, our eyes locked, and I could have sworn he could really see into my mind. I could have sworn he knew exactly what I was trying to hide.

Death had never tasted stronger on my tongue.

Then Helid stepped aside. “She’s clear. No weapons and no diseases, sister.”

I held the sigh of relief back with all my being. He didn’t see anything.

“Come, mortal. Come pay your debt.”

The queen raised her hands toward me. The seer woman and the two fae men drinking from their fancy golden cups remained right there by the table. And Helid walked with me all the way to the bed.