Page 50 of Let’s Give ‘Em Pumpkin to Talk About

For my part, I have not. And if the question is “Can men and women be friends when they are not attracted to each other?” the answer is yes. The evidence is in our solid years of friendship.

“The thing is, in the romantic minds of people who love rom-coms, we are a cliché waiting to happen,” I say, running a finger over the rim of my empty glass.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I don’t feel weird discussing this now.

Jeremy and I are so intimate—in a friendly, sibling-like way—that we can talk about anything without feeling embarrassed.

We’ve gone through a potty humor phase together, for God’s sake.

And if puberty, college, and the first dreadful years of adult life were shared in gruesome openness without us kissing even for curiosity’s sake, it should be safe to assume nothing will ever happen.

I’ve always looked at Jeremy the way I look at my brother. He doesn’t make my heart race or my hands sweat. Never did. But I love him. He is the best person ever. The best friend one could have.

But if that’s what I think of him, why am I not in love with him? Why can’t I have a rom-com moment and realize the one for me has been by my side all along?

Maybe it’s because I always seek “the fireworks”—which is a bad idea since they never last. Relationships based on physical attraction have all led me to heartbreak.

There needs to be some attraction, though, right?

“Jeremy, are you in love with me, or have you ever been? Now is the time to be honest,” I say in the straightforward, non-romantic way we talk about feelings.

He looks surprised by the question, but not that much. “What? No. Never,” he says in an unmistakably honest tone.

“Hmm.” I nod like someone who’s just heard it’s still raining outside. I’m not hurt. I didn’t expect the answer to be yes.

“What about you?” He looks at me, and I catch a glimpse of fear in his blue eyes. Does he think I’m about to reveal I’ve been in love with him all my life?

I’m quick to reassure him. “No, of course not.” I wave a hand in the air dismissively.

“Wow,” he says, chuckling. “The ‘of course’ is comforting.”

I laugh too. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to step on your self-esteem. I’m just making it clear that I’m not attracted to you.”

“So, I’m not attractive. Ouch—again.” His tone is playful, but I sense he is a little hurt.

I lean closer to get all his attention—and take a good look at the face I’ve seen for twenty years. Maybe, in all this time, I wasn’t seeing it, just glimpsing past it as I scanned my surroundings for other faces I would find more exciting.

Jeremy is good-looking, but there’s just no… spark between us.

“Jeremy,” I say, looking straight into his eyes, as serious as I can be. “You’re fine, okay? Lots of women think you’re attractive. I’m just not one of them. And that’s all right because you’re also not attracted to me. Correct?”

He looks down, avoiding the answer. Not because he’s finding the words to say I’m the most gorgeous creature on earth—but because he’s looking for words that won’t offend me too much.

His hesitation is unusual. We normally say whatever crosses our minds, no matter how unpleasant it will sound.

Something is different about tonight, though.

We’re both hurt, and it’s our job as BFFs to lift each other’s spirits.

“I’m not attracted to you, no.” He opts for the no-bullshit answer then softens the blow. “Not that you’re unattractive. You’re beautiful, Daisy. It’s just…” I don’t need him to finish.

“I know. We’re just not attracted to each other.”

“That’s the thing about attraction, right?” he says, looking down. “It’s not about someone being pretty or not. It’s entirely subjective.”

I nod, agreeing it’s about much more than a beautiful face and body. It’s the whole package. The way someone walks and speaks, what they care about, how they react to situations, their laughter, their smell, their style, their preferences…

It’s funny how we humans can put that package together, sometimes within a few minutes of meeting someone, and be instantly attracted to a person who fits our unique standards. That’s what people call love at first sight. It has nothing to do with love but exclusively with attraction.

You can learn to love someone you feel attracted to. But…

“Can you become attracted to someone after knowing them for a while?” After loving them like a brother all your life?

Jeremy frowns, suspecting where I’m going with this.

“You can,” he affirms. “It happened to me. Chloe, remember?” I nod because of course I remember.

It was about four years ago, and he almost went through an identity crisis because of that girl.

“I was not attracted to her and her punk style at all, and then suddenly, after that crazy San Diego festival, I was.”

“Yeah,” I say, staring at the polished bar surface. His gaze burns through my skull and makes me look up.

“Why are we talking about this, Daisy?” He arches an eyebrow with suspicion. “You think we should follow Alice’s advice?”

I don’t answer immediately, and he blinks slowly, sighing.

“I’m not sure we should be talking about this,” he says. “We’re drunk, and we’ve just been dumped. We should go to bed and erase tonight.”

Of course there’s a risk we would ruin our friendship or make it awkward. But what if happiness is at our fingertips, and we’ve been too dumb to grasp it?

“Jere… We’re in Venice for six more days. The most romantic city in the world. Just the two of us. What if—”

“What if we decide to go from friends to lovers?” He raises his eyebrows again at the lazy angle that means he can’t believe I’m capable of such a stupid thought.

“Yeah!” I sit straighter, a sudden rush of…something warm running through my veins. “We could try,” I say, ignoring his skeptical expression. “I mean, our love lives suck. We keep choosing the wrong people, and we both deserve better.”

“I don’t know…” He looks down, but I can see he is shaken.

Jeremy might not be the man I’ve idealized, but he is real.

He’s right here, has always been. He’s supported me in my every endeavor, and if we got married, I’m sure he would be the attentive, patient husband I’d need by my side as I ran my restaurant.

He is a safe, rational choice. With Jeremy, my life will be comfortably predictable, like I need it to be.

Dad knew Jeremy was the one for me, he just wouldn’t pressure me. He hoped I would realize it eventually, I’m sure.

“Think with me, Jeremy. Let’s be rational.

” He looks up, paying attention, eager for me to comfort him.

“We’re good people, you and me. We’re kind and caring, and we have similar worldviews.

We know everything about each other, all the bad bits, and yet we’re still here, going through all kinds of shit together. ”

He smiles. “You know that being around someone as a friend and as a lover are two very different things, right?”

“Not so much,” I say. “When couples age, they become more like friends anyway.”

His smile turns into a sneer. “So, you want us to be an aging couple from day one?”

I roll my eyes. “No, of course not. I just mean that friendship is a big part of it, and if we suddenly become attracted to each other…” I don’t finish, and he takes over, frowning again.

“So, you’re not suggesting we try to become a couple before we know we can be attracted to each other?” He bites his thumb, confused. “What are you suggesting then?”

“I suggest we try to fall in love during this week in Venice,” I say, my voice and mind suddenly very clear. It’s as if a bright light shines over my head, clearing the cloudy mess inside.

Jeremy is the trustworthy answer to my happy ending. It makes so much sense that it’s a risk worth taking.

He laughs. Then he sees I’m not smiling.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

I nod calmly, even though my heart is racing. “It’s rationally an excellent idea, and I think we should both be more rational from now on.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, but I know he’s already convinced. “What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then everything goes back to normal. We erase Venice and return to our normal lives as best friends.”

“Hmm,” he says, scratching his stubble in a cartoony way.

“I think you have a point, Daisy. I’ve thought about you rationally .

I’ve questioned why I don’t have feelings for you because it would be much easier if I did—and if they were reciprocated, of course.

We make sense together.” He pauses to order his thoughts.

“Even though we have a lot to lose, we also have a lot to gain if it works. And if we’re careful, we can minimize the damage if we see we might be close to, you know, ruining things. ”

I nod enthusiastically. Yes. It makes sense. All of it.

“So,” he continues, “I suggest we remain ‘just friends’ the entire time, no commitment, and only make a move if it feels right and we’re both sure we’re ready for it.”

“Sounds good.” I lift my glass, remembering too late that it’s empty.

“Hey, can we have a bottle of mineral water?” Jeremy calls to the bartender.

I look in the direction of the glinting bottles behind the counter, and my stomach sinks as I realize the guy has been there the whole time, a few steps away.

I’m sure our conversation gave him some damn good entertainment.

When he opens a glass bottle of still water in front of us, Jeremy says, “You heard our weird conversation, didn’t you?” There is a smile on Jeremy’s face, and the bartender’s mouth stretches in the slightest of smirks.

“I heard nothing.”

“I was a bartender once,” Jeremy says, sounding a lot more relaxed than he’d been just moments ago. “You hear the craziest stories. It was the best part of the job for me.”