Page 26

26

Reagan

When the house is finally quiet, I assume Jesse is putting Bea to bed. I stare at the door for too long after that, waiting for him to come talk to me.

Or at least, hoping he will.

But the longer I wait, the quieter it is, leaving me swallowing my pride when he doesn’t.

Maybe I misread the connection between us, and it’s been all in my head. Sex doesn’t equate to interest or an emotional connection. Protectiveness isn’t always romantic. What I’m interpreting as Jesse feeling the same way I do might be my imagination.

When silence continues to echo on the other side of the door, I climb into bed with my book. At least a fictional biker boyfriend can take my mind off Jesse King for a few minutes. But then I hit a paragraph talking about how good he looks in leather, and all I can envision is Jesse holding me in his arms at the bar. The feel of his cut under my fingers as I planted my hands on his firm chest.

There’s only one man who gets my blood pumping the second he straddles his bike, and it’s the one I shouldn’t be thinking about right now.

Eyeing my nightstand and then the door, I wonder if maybe I just need to work him out of my system. Irritation and attraction walk a thin line, so it couldn’t hurt to try.

Setting my book on the nightstand, I reach for the drawer and pull out my vibrator. I lie back with closed eyes, slipping it under the covers. My mind works as I try to picture the biker in my book and what he was about to do to the new nurse helping at his club. But the second my fingers reach my bare thighs, and the vibrations start to thrum, the only face I can see is Jesse’s.

I hate that I don’t push that vision aside. That I let it run wild as I imagine it’s him peeling my legs apart. Him pushing deep to soothe where I ache. I shouldn’t be imagining it’s his scruff scratching the smooth skin of my neck and chest as he kisses the path lower. That it’s his tongue sliding over my pebbled nipples. Smooth and warm. Slow, sensual circles caressing me.

Gentle and rough.

A balance of hesitation and desire.

My toes curl as I change the angle of the toy, and I bite back the moan. It’s nothing compared to Jesse taking me, but I let myself believe it is for just this moment.

Just like I let myself believe this means more than it does .

Pleasure pools in my core as my nerves ignite, but just as I start to see those sparks—feel the relief of my release—a knock comes at the door, making me jump.

I shut off the toy and shove it into my nightstand as I rush to my feet. My head spins as I fix myself and hurry to the door, pretending nothing was just happening.

“Reagan?” Jesse’s voice comes from the other side, and heat floods my cheeks.

I smooth my fingers over my hair like it will do anything to hide I was just masturbating to thoughts of him.

What kind of person does that after everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours?

Grabbing for my sleep shorts, I slip them on and head for the door.

When I swing it open, he’s standing with one forearm resting on the doorframe. His hair is messy, like it seems to be when he’s stressed, and exhaustion is so heavy in his eyes it turns a shade of blue that reminds me of a stormy sea.

He’s still wearing his T-shirt and jeans, which means he must have put Bea to bed and come right back downstairs. The way he wears the simplest things should be illegal. The fabric molds to his shoulders and hugs his strong thighs. His clothes fit every curve of his perfect skin. Skin I know isn’t tattooed, apart from the Twisted Kings skull that covers his back.

I want to ask him why only that?

Why stop there when it seems everyone else in the club is covered in ink?

I want to know everything about this man .

“Hey.” It comes out breathy, and I’m immediately embarrassed.

Jesse’s gaze sweeps my cheeks, then up to my hair, and I wonder if he senses why I’m flushed. Why I can’t look him in the eyes or stop fidgeting. If so, he doesn’t say so as he lifts off the doorframe, standing even taller.

“Can I come in?”

I step aside, waving an arm out. Worried that if I try to say anything, it will give me away. But as he beelines to the bed, I think maybe I should have kept this to the living room because no good can come from us alone in here.

“Were you sleeping?” He glances at the crumpled sheets.

“Not yet.” I close the door and walk into the room. “I was reading a book.”

He hums, dragging his hand through his hair. “I had to get Bea to bed. Then Steel called. In case you were wondering why I didn’t come talk to you sooner—”

“It’s fine.” I cut him off, embarrassed he’s even feeling the need to explain himself. “I understand you’re busy. I’m fine.”

How many times can I say I’m fine before it’s clear I’m not?

Jesse leans back, watching me sink down onto the bed. “My room smells like you.”

“Sorry about that. I should have changed the sheets. I slept in your bed last night to keep an ear out for Bea like you asked.”

“I remember. I’m not complaining.” He smirks .

My heart drinks in the shine in his gaze. In the first hint of amusement that I’ve seen from him all day. I’d like to hold it before it goes out. Keep it safe so that even when he’s had a hard day, there’s someone to remind him there are good things on the other side of the bad.

“I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your last text.” His smile falls, and when I open my mouth to say something, he continues. “Don’t say you understand, Reagan. Or that it’s okay. It’s not. I’m a fucking asshole.”

My mouth snaps shut.

“Last night messed with my head, and I needed some time to process it. Still, I should have responded to you earlier.”

“Okay?” It’s more of a question than an answer because I don’t know what to make of Jesse apologizing when he’s the one who has been through hell. “How are you doing?”

“Honestly… not great. But I’m better when I’m with you.” His gaze fixes on me.

We stare at each other in the dark room, lit only with the soft glow of the moon shining through the window.

“How is Sera doing? Is she—” alive ?

I swallow, not able to say the word out loud.

“She’ll be okay. But it’s going to be a rough few weeks. We’ve got her taken care of at the clubhouse, and she’s resting for now.”

“And the people who did that to her?” I drag my teeth over my lower lip. “They did it because of your club?”

“Yeah.” His jaw tenses .

Jesse has always warned me his club brings trouble. That his life is dangerous. I’m just now seeing the depth of that and how it impacts the people around him.

“You’re safe here.” He rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. “I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I want to believe him, but his voice is strained. I doubt he wanted them to hurt Sera either, but they got to her. And even if it’s not his enemies who could come for me, there’s still Lincoln. Danger is lining up around us, whether we like it or not.

But I don’t say any of that. “I know you won’t.”

It’s enough to get his shoulders to relax.

“Does Bea know her mom’s here?”

Jesse shakes his head. “It’s been five years since I’ve seen Sera, and she made her stance on that clear. I’m not getting Bea’s hopes up until I get a feel for where Sera’s head is at. I’m Bea’s parent.”

“I know.” I squeeze his hand.

“But…” Jesse wipes his palm down his face. “As much as I hate it, she’s still Bea’s blood. I don’t know what she’ll say when she wakes up. And if she wants to see her, I want that for Bea.”

Fear flares in his eyes when they land on me. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Jesse truly scared. And the longer I stare at him, I don’t know what he struggles with more—Sera wanting to suddenly be a parent or her rejecting Bea all over again.

“You’ll figure it out,” I say. “And I’m here if you need to talk or anything. ”

Jesse nods, glancing to where our hands are clasped on the bed. “You know this doesn’t change anything with me and her, right? This is just about Bea.”

“I figured.” Not that it doesn’t still feel good to hear it.

“Good.” He tugs my hand closer. “Sera never meant anything to me apart from giving me my daughter.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Jesse. I understand you have a lot on your plate.” I wet my lips, and his gaze drops to my mouth. “I’m not trying to add more to it.”

“I know you’re not.”

“Then don’t worry about me. I’m not asking for anything.”

“Maybe you should. You deserve it, Reagan.”

“I don’t know about that.” I drop my chin.

But his fingers force it back up again. “You do. It’s not your fault I’m bad at this and making you doubt what we’re doing. I don’t do this. Ever.”

“If I’m honest, I don’t either. You make me different.”

“And you make me lose all good sense. What you do for me and my daughter. You’re such a light in this dark fucking world, and if you’re not careful, it’ll go out. I can’t stand the thought of that.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m fragile.” I brush his hand with my thumb. “I’m not.”

“I know, Reagan. You’re so fucking strong. It makes it impossible to resist you.”

“Is this you trying?” I smile, not able to help myself.

“And failing miserably. ”

He makes it seem so simple when I know this isn’t. But here in this dark room, he flays the truth open and forces us to face it.

I start to lean in but pause halfway, waiting for him to meet me or reject me. Forcing him to admit what we’ve both been avoiding. Craving the connection.

Jesse only hesitates for a fraction of a second before he meets my kiss. His hand wraps the side of my head—fingers tangling in my hair—as he pulls me to him. The softness of his mouth searching mine contrasts with the roughness of the short stubble on his jaw, and it’s everything I need.

Gentle and teasing. Controlling and claiming.

His teeth sink into my lower lip as he pulls back, tugging until it slips free, and I drag my tongue over it. Savoring how he tastes on me.

My restraint snaps as I grab the sides of his face, and he kisses me deeper. He takes me somewhere only he can. My body ignites at his touch, at the sweep of his tongue against my teeth. I press closer, and he’s all I want. All I need.

I’m still breathing heavily as the kiss breaks. Still hanging on, refusing to open my eyes.

“Jesse.” It’s a plea and a moan and a need all wrapped in one.

It doesn’t matter if we’re testing our limits; if I can’t have this man, I don’t think I can stand it.

“Please. ”

Jesse grazes his thumb over the apple of my cheek, and I blink my eyes open. “What were you doing before I got here, Reagan?”

Before he got here?

I’m still in a fog from the kiss, so it takes my mind a moment to catch up with his question. But when it does, my eyes widen, and I pull back.

His gaze darts to my book on the nightstand.

“Reading.” I swallow hard.

“Just reading? Don’t be embarrassed.” He tightens his grip on the back of my head when I try to scoot away. “I can see it in your eyes, sweetheart. On your cheeks. I can smell you in the air. It’s the most intoxicating thing.”

My heart races as his free hand finds my thigh, slowly tracing upward.

“I’ve been an asshole.” His hand continues to climb. “Let me make it up to you.”

The sincerity in his eyes bleeds straight through me. But when I try to reach for him in return, he stops me, slowly shaking his head.

“What?”

“I want to take care of you . Not the other way around.” He sets my hand on the bed. “Show me what you were doing when I knocked on the door.”

His gaze drops to my book on the nightstand and the drawer.

Heat climbs my cheeks as I sit staring at him, waiting for him to tell me he’s joking. But his expression doesn’t so much as crack with the challenge.

And like it always is with Jesse—I can’t help myself .

I scoot back on the bed until I’m resting against the headboard. Slowly, I reach for the band of my pajama shorts and slip them off with my underwear.

I’ve never been confident in my own skin, but with Jesse’s eyes on me, I feel beautiful. His jaw ticks as I strip my lower half bare, and pleasure pools at my center. I swear he sees someone I’m not. Or, at least, someone worth seeing.

Reaching for the nightstand, I open the drawer and pull out my vibrator. For a second, I think he might judge me, but he doesn’t so much as flinch.

“You’re not intimidated?”

“By a toy?” He hitches an eyebrow, and I shrug. “No, Reagan. I’m not threatened by your vibrator. I’m more curious what you’re willing to let me do to you with it.”

I melt.

I’m a puddle on the bed.

The idea of Jesse using this on me has every logical thought scurrying away.

But he sits and waits. Not moving. Not touching me. So close I can smell the gum he must have been chewing earlier. I can feel the heat he carries around with him. He watches, and it’s a form of torture that’s worse than when he questioned me in the shower.

“Let me see you spread your knees for me, sweetheart. Show me how you make yourself come.”

Holy shit.

If he keeps saying things like that, I might not need to even touch myself .

Slowly, I peel my knees open. A growl rumbles in his chest as he takes in my already slick core. And when I turn on the vibrations and lower the toy between my legs, the intensity of it against the place I’m most sensitive is even more intense.

I slide the vibrator over my clit first, trying not to come from his attention alone as I drive lower.

“Fuck.” His fingers grip the bed as I send it deep into my core. “That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You mean it?”

His eyes snap to mine, and I realize how insecure that might have sounded. Not that he seems to agree with how hard he’s clenching his jaw.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, Reagan. I can’t get you out of my head. So yes, I fucking mean it.”

His restraint is as thin as mine. The tether’s on the verge of snapping.

“Jesse.” I tip my head back, barely hanging on. “Please touch me.”

“You need to feel me, sweetheart?” His knuckles are white with his hard grip on the blanket.

“Yes.”

One word is all he needs to move between my legs. His mouth dips to my core, and I slap my hand over my mouth to mute the scream that comes out.

Jesse takes control of the vibrator, working it at a different angle and striking somewhere that is pure ecstasy. His tongue draws circles over my clit as he fucks me slowly with the toy, and I’m mindless. Heat floods to my center. My toes and fingers curl. My back arches like the sky is tugging me toward it as I crest over that final wave.

Only then does Jesse release my thigh to cover my mouth when I’ve all but forgotten. I scream into his palm and lose myself.

My being is on fire. Every fiber in my body sparks as I slowly ride out those blissful waves.

Sweat coats my skin. And I don’t stop shaking until Jesse pulls out the vibrator and sits back on his heels between my legs.

A grin spreads on his face. Pure predatory admiration that makes me need more.

“You’re dripping, sweetheart.” His gaze moves between my legs as he lifts the vibrator and drags his thumb over the length of it.

When he reaches the end, he sucks his thumb into his mouth, tasting me.

“Fuck,” I breathe out.

“You like that?” he asks, doing it again.

Words die on my tongue, so I just nod.

“Then taste yourself.” He leans down, lowering the toy to my lips and dragging it over them.

I’m too turned on to be embarrassed as I open my mouth, and he shoves the vibrator over my tongue. It would be better if it was his cock, but his eyes light all the same. So I close my lips and suck, basking in the flare of his gaze.

I keep a firm grip on it with my mouth as he slowly pulls it out .

“I love it when you’re dirty for me, sweetheart.” He sets the vibrator aside and slowly lifts to climb off the bed.

“Wait.” I lean forward, grabbing his hand. “Are you seriously leaving right now?”

“I didn’t come in here to be selfish, Reagan. And if I stay here, there’s only so long I can be a gentleman. I owed you an apology, and I meant it.”

“If that’s how you apologize, maybe I wouldn’t mind you being an asshole more often.” I pull him closer, leaning back so he’s hovering over me on the bed. “But if you think you can leave without fucking me right now, I’m officially declining your apology.”

“Is that so?” He grins, nipping at my lower lip.

“Yes.”

“Greedy girl.”

“I’m the one owed something, apparently.” I push his chest to move him back a few inches. “So now you strip.”

Amusement lights Jesse’s eyes as he pushes off the bed. Not an ounce of embarrassment crosses his face as he rips off his shirt. I suppose when you look like that, there’s nothing to worry about when you get naked. The man is cut from marble, and even though I just came, pressure is already pulsing between my thighs.

“Shirt off, Reagan.” He unzips his pants. “If I’m fucking you, then you better believe I want to watch your tits bounce while I do it.”

Smiling, I reach for the hem and strip it off, lying naked for him on the bed .

“So obedient.” He strips the rest of his clothes, climbing over me and grabbing the vibrator again. “Open those beautiful legs.”

With one hand, he strokes his cock, and with the other, he brushes the toy down the inside of my leg.

I edge them open, and he draws closer, stroking his cock over me as he runs the toy through my core. He coats it in my pleasure, driving so deep I’m vibrating with it.

“Jesse.” I grab his forearms, my nails biting his skin. “I need you.”

Not a sorry replacement.

Nothing fills the space of him. Nothing soothes the emptiness of not having his weight on me.

He thrusts the toy in again, turning up the vibrations so they rock me from my toes to my fingernails. He slides it in and out while he jerks his cock in his hand, and when I’ve nearly lost it, he pulls the toy out and replaces it with him.

One hard, brutal thrust has me seeing the frayed edges of the universe.

His hips meet mine, and his eyes focus on where our bodies meet. As he pulls back to thrust harder, he does what he promised, staring at my breasts as they bounce with his deep thrusts.

“You’re so beautiful.” He brings the toy to my clit. “I don’t deserve you.”

The vibrations paired with Jesse fucking me are beyond anything I’ve ever felt .

“Fuck, your pussy is greedy when it’s treated right.” He shoves his hips forward. “Gripping my cock. Desperate for my cum.”

I tip my head back, realizing I’m letting him fuck me without wearing a condom again. And once again realizing I don’t care.

His body rocks against mine as he dips down and snags a nipple with his teeth. He teases the bud and then moves to the other. Soothing me with his tongue and then returning to the other. The vibrator rests on my clit, and he fucks me in steady strokes.

The only reason I’m still hanging on to this thin thread is that I just came, but when he flicks my nipple with his tongue, it’s the final touch that sends me over.

He covers my mouth to mute my scream, and I come with such intensity that I must be squeezing him until it hurts because his face pinches. But instead of pulling back, he fucks me harder. Until he’s no longer being slow or polite. He’s fucking me hard enough to move the mattress. And right when I think I can’t take anymore, he spills himself into me. Losing himself as his cum leaks with his continued thrusts.

When he finally collapses, his weight is a warm blanket of touches and kisses. His fingers draw circles over my skin, and he grazes his lips over my temple with the final pulse of his climax. It isn’t until the shivers subside that he rolls off me.

It’s quiet.

At a distance, I hear the faint hum of motorcycles that kept me awake when I first arrived, but now they relax me. When Jesse doesn’t say anything, I take a deep breath, staring at the ceiling.

“I need to tell you something,” I say.

We’re being reckless. There are serious consequences to this.

“No.” From the corner of my eye, I spot him shaking his head. “You don’t.”

I look over at him, and he closes his eyes, releasing a heavy exhale before finally turning to face me. “I—”

“Reagan…” He cuts me off, wiping his palm down his face. “Don’t say it.”

“Why?”

His gaze falls to where my hand rests over my stomach, proof that even if I haven’t said I’m not on birth control, he’s already aware that’s where this conversation is going.

“Because once you do, we should probably come to our senses before this turns into something you’re not ready for.”

“Is it something you’re ready for?”

Jesse rolls to his side, brushing a hand down my cheek and tucking my hair behind my ear. “There is no being ready for anything when it comes to you, Reagan Brady.”

It’s not a yes or no, and he doesn’t give me time to wonder because his lips land on mine, making me lose all sense.

Good.

Bad.

Reckless .

Jesse rolls and settles between my legs, saying sorry with his body again and again. All night long. And even when sleep finally pulls me under, I still want more.

I want all of him.