Page 6

ELI

Waking up, I can smell the aroma of coffee and bacon wafting up to my room. Another night of shitty fucking sleep. I check my phone, laying on my bed stand next to me and see I have ten missed texts from Ashley. I told her to not get attached, but she just won’t listen. I just don’t do relationships. As I pull myself up and out of bed, I throw on some gray sweatpants and make my way downstairs to where Dane and Chase are sitting at the kitchen island, scarfing down their breakfast.

“You fuckers better have left me some food and coffee,” I say in a groggy voice. They both look up to me and give me a slight nod, meat and eggs filling their cheeks.

“Ok, so we got the party details set up for tonight man.” Dane says with a mouth full of food. “I got a lot of college kids that are going to be attending.” He gives me a wink and a quick chuckle. College kids...those trust fund babies. It’s great for business, though. Those fuckers will buy anything. They have all Mommy and Daddy’s money to spend without a single fuck to give.

I have run my business for three years, and it just keeps getting bigger. I grow and sell marijuana to distributor businesses here in California. Started out with just one cannabis production, now I am up to three. One in southern Cali, another in central and one here up in Northern California.

My company is the largest in this state. Over 300 employees. Yeah, sure, I know it’s not what every parent wishes their kid was good at, what they truly hoped they would accomplish in their life or careers, but hell, my cracked-out parents didn’t give a damn about my ass.

I have been on my own since I was eight years old. My worthless drug-addicted parents didn’t give two shits if I lived or died. I remember one year, I believe it was just around Christmas time, because all the neighbors had glistening lights around their trailers, us...we had none. All we had around our home was broken down, rusty cars and trash bags that just kept piling up outside.

I was in my small, dark room wrapped up in my red thin blanket, laying on my air mattress; it was freezing. My body was shaking from the chill taking over my trembling limbs. My parents never turned on the heat due to not wanting to pay that bill, so I sat in my room, gripping myself in the fetal position on those nights to try and stay warm. I remember the hot steam from my mouth making little, floating clouds all around me in the pale moonlight shining through my frosted window.

My mother came into my room that night, looking for her lighter. She kept yelling and yelling at me to give it back to her. She was feening hard and in a mental fit. I remember the fear that ran through my small, trembling body, pleading with her I did not have it. She tore the blanket off my quivering body, grabbed me by my hair and dragged me through the trailer.

My father was passed out on the couch with a lit cigarette dangling in his fingers, the ashes started to gather like little ant hills on his NASCAR shirt. Once she got to the front door, she swung it open and threw my tiny body out into the unforgiving winter, telling me until I told her where it was, I would sit out there until my toes froze off.

I knew she always hated me. I was never what she wanted. She never wanted to be a Mother. I know her parents were just as cruel to her as she was to me. I sat outside for almost an hour in the foot of snow. I sat on the bottom stair, gripping my knees into my chest. My eyelashes started to form little crystals on the end causing my eyes to sting everytime I blinked them.

I cried to my mother to let me in, the sharp cold stung like razor blades through my damp clothing. My bottom burned like I was nearing frostbite. But all I heard from the inside was the football game playing on the TV and the sound of her lighter flicking. The sound of that flicking still haunts my darkest nightmares. She forgot I was even out there. Like I said, they didn’t care if I lived or died.

As the night fell darker and colder, the neighbors' twinkling lights had me getting to my feet and walking towards them. The beautiful, colorful twinkling lights had me in a trance as I made my way towards the dreamlike daze. I kept my eyes glued to those lights until my eyes started to blur.

Jingle bells played from their front yard Christmas decoration as the lights started to blur together in my vision. Causing them to multiply and glow around me. I fell due to exhaustion before I even made it across the street. A neighbor who lives just a few doors down, was on her way home from her late-night nursing shift. When her bright headlights exposed my lifeless body, She pulled over quickly. Her screams of terror and panic also haunt my dreams to this day. That was the night I was taken away. Finally being released from that hell.

She was the angel who saved my life. I remember her scooping my little body up into her arms and running me to her warmed car, the heated leather seats stinging my aching cold pierced skin. As she pulled into her driveway, she left the car running, blasting the heat and running into her house to grab wool blankets to wrap around me. After she wrapped me into the fuzzy, warm blankets, she told me to stay put as she ran back inside her house for a few minutes.

I remember being terrified that my parents would find out I was no longer outside and come take me away from this nice lady. But that never happened. She came running back out with two chocolate chip cookies and a mug of steaming hot cocoa. That was the first time I had ever had it. The little marshmallows floating on top of the steaming sea of chocolate felt like a whimsical dream.

I will never forget the name of that sweet angel who saved me from the depths of hell...her name was Eve. Fitting now that I think about it. She had the most beautiful golden brown eyes and the most sincere face I had ever seen. I wished with everything inside me that she could have been my mom.

I remember her on her cell phone talking frantically to another person. Didn’t take long for the paramedics to show up and then the police. That was the last time I ever saw my mother or father again. It was also the last time I ever saw that sweet angel ever again. Her beautiful face will forever be engraved into my memories.

After I was taken away, I lived in and out of foster hellholes, running the streets to keep clothes on my back and food in my mouth. If there is one thing life has taught me, it’s you fucking make it or you die. Nothing in between. Maybe that’s why I chose the profession I’m in. I know everything there is to know about cannabis. The healing properties of it.

The proper way to care and grow it. It’s truly nature’s medicine to the world. The dark memories I have of my childhood may not have torn me down financially, but they definitely left deep wounds that still seep toxic black blood into my soul. The demons they created still harbor and live in the depths, awaiting release.

This is one of the reasons why I refuse to get attached to anyone. I never cared to settle down or give into emotions. It’s just sex for me. A body to use and get a quick release. Ashley would have been the closest thing to a regular girlfriend because she is all I have been spending my nights with when I need that physical release.

I know I have nothing there but sexual lust for her and I know I should probably cut it off, but I am a selfish bastard who is too addicted to what her pussy gives my cock. I know she also doesn’t deserve that, but she just keeps coming back.

I will not open my blackened heart to any woman. My worthless mother taught me that, plus I don’t think I would be deserving of any good-hearted partner. I just don’t have that in me. That part of me is forever broken and the pieces of my remaining heart have been shattered in the wind.

My northern weed production is posted just a couple towns over. Two beautiful acres of nothing but lush green leaves, a large greenhouse centered right in the middle. It’s one of my favorite places to visit. Just show up and start working. Check in on the nursery and make sure all workers are handling the product carefully. I truly love my job. Not too many people can attest to that.

“Bro. Eli!” Dane shouts at me, breaking my thoughts as I pour myself some coffee.

“What?” I ask in an agitated tone.

“Did you hear a word I just said?” Getting up, he walks over to me.

“Yeah, the party, I know. Do we have the bud ready?” I ask as I take a sip of the black coffee. It’s so hot it burns as it slides down my throat, reminding me of the first time I had that hot coco. So yeah, I also sell cannabis for extra cash on the side at my parties. It’s good though, I keep the local police department’s pockets lined with large cash donations yearly.

Pretty ironic if you think about it. Gotta fucking love dirty cops. I have an offshore bank account set up in Switzerland for all the side money we make that is not connected to my actual legal business income. I have millions in those banks as well.

“Yup, we have about twenty pounds ready. Should equal out to about forty grand. Those rich college kids will use mommy and daddy’s money to buy it all up,” he says, laughing while washing off his plate.

“Good. Just make sure we have everything ready. Make sure nobody is carrying more than a pound on them at a time. We don’t want any of those fuckers trying to jump one of us.” I grabbed my black handgun out of the drawer next to me and set it on the counter.

“You make sure everyone that sells tonight is packing. And code names only.” Giving me a quick nod, he grabs his phone and heads out of the kitchen. Dane and I do not do the dealing. We can’t risk someone trying to expose us. So, we have hired men and women who get a nice cut of whatever they sell during the parties. Twenty percent.

Dane has always been a good buddy of mine. He was the first guy I met in this town when I was seventeen, running the streets with a low-life gang. We both had ties with the gang until we were twenty years old and decided it was time to break free. We made a deal with the DEA to set up Jasper Heathen and the crew to avoid prison time.

They had loads of evidence surrounding Dane and I for selling drugs. If it meant selling out Jasper to have freedom, then there wasn’t even a second thought about it.Before Dane and I left the crew, we stole a hundred grand from Jasper's safe. At the time, we believed we deserved it. All the shit he made us do and put up with was well worth the money we took.

They had multiple documents and evidence to convict him but could never catch him. Once we set up the undercover agent for a meeting with Jasper, acting like he was a buyer interested in Jasper's product, they busted him onsite. Last I heard he spent over three million to get bail, then fled the country that same day with a fake passport and cutting off the ankle bracelet. By the time the DEA had time to react, he was already gone. A ghost in the night.

When Dane and I started our company up, I became the CEO since it was my portion of the money I stole from Jasper and invested it in, but Dane was the mastermind when it came to technology and marketing. The social media pages Dane ran is what boosted our company to be noticed by the bigger corporations. Together, we make an unstoppable team. I got my business license and it was all business after that.

The Heathens used to run this town, but once Dane and I sold out Jasper, and signed with the big companies to produce cannabis, the gang quickly started to dissipate. Cannabis was taking over. Large numbers of his crew either left town or were caught and thrown into prison after Jasper fled the country.

Dane is also from the foster care system. His mother was a sex worker that would sell her body for crack. Lived in a rundown hotel room in Sacramento with her abusive drugged-up pimp. He would lock six-year-old Dane into the bathroom whenever her customers would pay her a visit, sometimes for days. Even through all the abuse, he loved his mama dearly.

Always trying to protect her from the monsters that lurked outside of the door. He was taken into foster care when he was about eleven. He doesn’t open up much about the darkness of his past, which honestly, I understand. I chose to lock those demons far down into the pits of my own hell and keep them locked up until the day I finally leave this fucked world. Dragging them with me back to the depths of hell where we both belong.

Surprisingly, Dane is more open to love. More open to relationships but has failed every time with the long-term side of it. He usually always has some random girl at his side, that merely only lasts for a few weeks, then he is on to the next, as if he is searching for the perfect one. In those ways, I do wish a part of me were more like him. But I know it’s just not in my cards. Not in this fucked up life. My one true love is money, and boy does she sure smell good.

“Chase,” I called over from across the room. Jumping up, he heads to me. “I need you and Dane to head to the campus today. There are going to be a lot of new students there that we can get to become regular buyers. Make sure to bring a lot of females.” He nods in understanding. Giving him a sly smile I say, “Just lighten up bro. I know you are still new to this life, but you need to learn to enjoy yourself more. Get more pussy, it’s good for the soul.” I give him a quick wink then turn to leave the kitchen.

Chase has always been the golden boy for his parents. Always expected to graduate with honors, lead the football team into victory kind of shit. His dad lost his job due to embezzlement and is now serving time at the local prison, and his mother has turned to the bottle while living at her mother’s house. His family lost everything. Every fucking embezzled dime.

The once well-set-up trust fund baby now has nothing. Dane brought him to me a few months back to see if I could help him make money. To be able to afford his college tuition and living expenses.

I could tell he was green from the moment I laid my eyes on him. After a heated debate with Dane about how I am not a handout and I don’t take in strays, I listened to Dane's reasoning. I decided to give the kid a shot. So far, it’s looking like it’s going to bite me in the fucking ass. He knows fuck all when it comes to the type of work that we do but everyone deserves at least one shot. He better not blow his. I don’t do second chances.

“I will head out with Dane and help bring in some buyers.” He gives me a faint smile, then turns and leaves the room.

I headed back upstairs to my room to finish getting myself ready. I threw on my black tank top and ripped jeans. Looking in the mirror, I zone out for what seems to be hours. My thoughts always have me getting lost in them. I just turned twenty-five on March 22nd. Dane is also twenty-five, his birthday is just a couple days after mine. We would throw a combined rager for our birthdays that pretty much lasted the entire month. So many good, distorted memories.

Age is a fickle bitch. Every birthday seems to be coming quicker and quicker than the next. I do not fear death or old age, I fear the now. I keep my demons mainly at bay but every so often, I can start to feel them slowly dig their sharp claws into my mind and try to drag me to the depths below.

I sometimes suffer from manic episodes when my emotions are heightened out of anger. I go into rage fits when I lose control and literally black out. Dane usually is the one who can pull me out of them, but most of the time, I must come down by myself. Just another reason why I do not deserve to be loved. Who would want a monster like me?

The party is in full blast. We must have over four hundred people coming in and out of the house. Business is on the rise tonight. The dealers had already sold out of the twenty pounds within a few hours of the party starting. I sit at my large bonfire on my black velvet couch.

Ashley showed up with some of her girlfriends a couple hours ago and will not fucking leave me alone. She is draped over me marking her territory, giving side glances at any woman who dares to stare at me. It’s annoying. I allow her to kiss my neck and have her way because I am horny as shit and don’t want to deal with her flipping out on me and ruining my night.

“Mmm, does that feel good baby?” She whispers into my ear as she glides her tongue around my neck. Her hand slowly caresses my stomach under my shirt.

Before I can answer her, something catches my attention. Some kind of magnetic pull has my eyes shooting away from the roaring fire to lock eyes on the most breathtaking woman I have ever seen.

I gasp as my eyes meet a pair of shimmering onyx eyes staring right back at me. It’s like I forgot how to breathe. I feel as if my chest has been cracked right open.A bolt of lightning striking right through it.

Who is this woman? Where did she come from? The heavens themselves? An angel sent down to be my last true test? I had not seen her before, I would remember eyes like that. Eyes that would surely bring me to my knees. Worshiping the ground her feet would walk upon.

She stares right back into me. As if she has pierced her eyes straight into my darkened void, lighting her angelic gleam into the blackened areas of my soul. Letting my eyes slide down her curvy body, I see her thick, juicy thighs eating up her black fishnet ripped stockings.

How I would love to lick those thighs and rip off those nets with my teeth. My eyes travel back up and stop at her hand, realizing she was holding Chase’s.

Raising my eyebrow subtly, she immediately released his hand. Good, so she isn’t here for him . I think to myself. I travel my eyes back up to meet hers. We stand in a gaze that feels frozen in time.

As if the world has faded away and she is all I see. I hadn’t even noticed Ashleys hand was on my cock, stroking it. I tilt my head as if her eyes are trying to convey something to me, like she has something she wants to say to me. Her lips start to part, but before I can get up, Chase steps in front of her and when he moves out of the way, she is gone.

My mind is whirling. Sitting there for a few minutes to process what the fuck that was, I stop Ashleys hand and move her off my lap.

“I need to go get a drink,” I say as I get up and walk back towards the house. My head is in a tailspin. So many confusing emotions are charging through my mind, making it hard to breathe. I pick up my pace, trying to find her, looking for her through the crowds of people, but nothing. Like a fucking ghost, she disappeared. Maybe that is what she was, a ghost sent here to torture me. Something that will only serve to haunt my dreams with her presence, but I can never touch.

I must find out who she is. I can’t help this magnetic pull. It is consuming me. She already owns me. What is happening to me? I mean, I have had many, many attractive women. But this woman is triggering me in ways I have never experienced. Love at first sight kinda shit.

That beautiful myth that I always thought was bullshit. Fantasies that do not exist. Not until my eyes met hers and my fucking world fell apart. I start to panic when I don’t see her raven hair. I stand there, in the sea of drunken people, looking like an absolute fool.

Then just like an unseeable force, my head darts towards the willow tree as I watch her silhouette disappear into the hanging leaves.