Page 47 of Learn Your Limits

Chapter forty-five

Reid

I knew that my family’s money was a privilege, but I never considered how much of a privilege it really was until it was gone.

I took for granted the ability to focus on school without financial stress hanging over my head.

It’s been less than one month since my father essentially disowned me, and it feels like I’ve spent the entire month struggling.

Working at the campus coffee shop only works because it’s nearby.

I pick up shifts in between classes when I’m able to, but most of the time I work the closing shift.

There aren’t many people that come in that late, aside from a few Oakhart University staff members and the occasional student.

I spend most of my shift cleaning up from the day and cramming in as much study time as I can.

I feel like I’m drowning, and the semester has only just begun.

I don’t think I’ve ever known what true exhaustion feels like until now.

I’ve been stressing about trying to stay ahead while constantly aware of how many shifts at the coffee shop I need to pick up in order to cover rent and expenses.

The answer? Way too many. In order to work enough to cover everything, I’d have to cut back on classes and delay graduation.

It’s too late to submit an application for financial aid, and given my family’s income, I likely wouldn’t qualify anyway.

The past two weeks have flown by in a blur, and despite how tired I am by the time I’m tying the coffee shop apron around my waist, seeing Milo is the highlight of my day.

He has been coming in for coffee every night, always sitting at the counter while he enjoys his drink and keeps me company until the end of my shift.

For the first time since I started working there, I’ve got the night off tonight. The vacancy in my schedule leaves room for me to focus on coursework. I could spend the night getting ahead on required reading and maybe even a jumpstart on assignments and projects.

I don’t want to do any of that, though.

All I want to do is talk to Milo. We’ve been texting more throughout the day, but it still feels like there’s tension remaining between us. Tension I’m desperate to get rid of. There’s nothing keeping us from being together anymore.

Lying down on my bed with my sketchbook in hand, I pull in a deep breath and release it, trying to force my body to relax as I set the book down beside me and pull out my phone to text Milo.

Me: How was your day?

Me: Please tell me you’re not still working.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach a moment later when his name lights up my phone screen. His response came through so fast, it makes me wonder if he had his phone in his hand, waiting to hear from me.

Milo: No, I decided to be good and left my office at a decent time.

Milo: With it being your night off, nothing was keeping me on campus.

Our first conversation from months ago fills my mind at the mention of him being good and leaving his office at a decent time.

Back then, he told me that his idea of “being bad” was taking papers home to grade.

I hate the idea that he’s possibly had no choice but to take work home with him just to get everything done thanks to his late night visits to the coffee shop.

Me: And are you actually being good and relaxing? Or did you take work home with you?

Me: I almost wish I was working. I’m so fucking worn out, but if I was working, I’d get to see you.

Milo: I promise I haven’t touched a single assignment.

Milo: Who’s to say I wouldn’t visit your apartment for my nightly coffee? It’s a ritual at this point.

In all of the months we’ve been together, Milo has yet to come to the apartment. It was never safe for him to do so before. But now that we’re free to be together…

Me: You know, you’ve never actually been here.

Me: Maybe you should come over.

Me: Not tonight. But, soon. I could make us dinner.

Why I’m offering to make dinner when my cooking skills are almost nonexistent, I don’t know.

But it can’t be too hard to look up a recipe and follow a tutorial online.

There are entire social media accounts dedicated to cooking, surely one of them can help me figure something out.

I don’t even know if he would want to come to the apartment.

It’s a decent sized three bedroom place, but I share it with two other guys.

We do our best to keep it picked up, but I can’t remember the last time any of us actually cleaned.

If he agrees to come over, that’s definitely going to have to change.

Milo: I would love that.

Milo: What would you make for dinner?

Because of course he has to ask. I’d like to think that even if I simply invited Milo over for pizza, he would still come.

But he’s done so much for me and has cooked for me more times than I can count.

I can’t let our first evening of being reunited be one that’s thrown together carelessly.

I need to show him that I still want him, that I still love him.

I need him to know I’m all in, if he’ll still have me.

Me: You’ll just have to let me surprise you.

Me: What about this weekend?

Milo: Name a time, and I’ll be there, Muneco.

It’s still early compared to the late nights we’ve both been pulling lately, and I’m not ready to say goodnight just yet.

Me: What are you doing right now?

Laying my phone down on my bare chest, I close my eyes and picture Milo lounging on the couch in his living room, a glass of wine in hand and a book open on his lap.

It’s one of my favorite looks of his. There’s something so peaceful about him when he’s completely relaxed and stripped down from “professor mode.”

The vibration of my phone has me picking it back up.

Milo: Enjoying a glass of wine on the couch.

Milo: And missing you.

A smile curves at the corner of my lips as he confirms my thoughts. I want to continue talking to him, but this almost feels wrong. I should be there with him, not texting him as if we’re still a secret that needs to be kept.

The time we’ve managed to spend together when he stops in at the coffee shop hasn’t been nearly enough. We spent months having to sneak around and fight to make things work, only to be taking things slow now that there’s nothing holding us back.

Me: I miss you too.

Me: I wish I could be there with you.

My thumbs tap the sides of my phone as I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, biting it as I contemplate whether or not to try and take our conversation in a new direction.

Me: But if I was… I don’t think we’d be doing much relaxing.

My heart jolts in my chest, heat zipping down my spine when his next message comes through.

Milo: I don’t know about that. I’m sure I could make it relaxing for you.

As much as I love lounging around and being lazy with Milo, that’s not the direction my mind is taking. I miss him. My heart and soul feel incomplete without him, and there’s a deep ache in my body that only he can mend.

Me: Oh yeah? And how exactly would you do that?

Milo: I can think of a few ways… But you’ll just have to let me surprise you.

A small laugh escapes me as he throws my words about surprising him back at me.

Me: It’s been way too long for you to be teasing me, Milo.

Milo: Feeling needy, baby?

Milo: Do you need Daddy to make it better?

My head drops back against the pillow on a groan, clenching my phone in my hand. I haven’t had the desire to get myself off since Milo and I have been apart, but arousal pools low in my stomach at his words.

Me: I always need you.

Me: Would you… be up to a little fun over the phone?

A few minutes pass before I start to think Milo isn’t going to respond.

Maybe he fell asleep on me or got up to go do something.

With a sigh, I toss my phone down on the bed beside me and reach for my sketchbook.

I’ve been working on another drawing of Milo.

I had hoped to have it finished in time to give it to him for Christmas, but… well, that didn’t happen.

Not that I need a reason to give him something, and honestly, I’m not sure what he’ll think of this one.

The idea has been stuck in my head ever since he offered to pose nude for me during our vacation at the cabin.

While I would much rather be drawing him as he lies before me, drawing him from memory alone certainly isn’t a burden.

I only get a few lines added to the piece before my phone starts to vibrate consistently. My eyes snap to it, a smile spreading across my face when I see Milo’s name flash across my screen with an incoming video call.

“Hey,” I say, chuckling nervously as I slip one of my Bluetooth headphones in. If this is going where I hope it is, I don’t want to risk my roommates hearing Milo. “I was starting to think you had fallen asleep on me.”

"I'm not that much of an old man to be falling asleep this early," he quips, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

I shift against my pillows, moving down a little lower to get into a more comfortable position. Fuck, why am I suddenly nervous?

“I’ve never once called you that. But I do know we’re both tired, and I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t up—”

“Reid.” The sharp tone of his voice cuts me off as my eyes flick to his through the screen. "Turn your mind off and let me help you relax."

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and will my mind to settle.

Milo has seen and touched every inch of my body, and yet somehow, this feels entirely new.

Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since we’ve been intimate in any way.

Maybe it’s because even when we were together, we never did this over the phone.

Not really. We sent photos and the occasional video, but never like this.