Page 18 of Learn Your Limits

Chapter eighteen

Emiliano

“A phoenix rising from its ashes,” I comment, my eyes taking in the black and white sketch. “Transformation and resurrection through destruction.”

After my initial comment, I remain silent, losing myself in the linework and shading of Reid’s drawing.

Truthfully, I am stalling as much as I am admiring the artwork.

From my periphery, I see the last few retreating shapes of students from my morning lecture.

My skin tingles with the need for them to leave so that I might have a few private minutes with Reid.

The texts through the app and these short conversations in person have been the only things I’ve allowed myself to have when it comes to him.

This past week has been taxing, and I feel like I am a man hanging on to his last thread. Nevermind the immense amount of work I’ve had from my own subject and the classes I’m covering. That’s something I can handle just fine.

It’s the young man standing in front of me who greets me every morning and shares his thoughts with me throughout the day that makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.

Losing my will. Despite the way I’ve tried to turn him down or push him away for both of our sakes, he is transforming me as much as the brilliant bird is reborn in his drawing.

The door to the lecture hall slams closed, and I know it’s just me and Reid in the room. I don’t even have to look around to check if students are here because of the electricity that builds in the air whenever we are alone.

“You don’t need to answer, but I’m curious,” I begin, finally taking the chance to properly meet Reid’s eyes. I flip the drawing so that it faces him now. “Does the symbolism apply to you?”

His gaze holds mine as he takes the drawing from my hands.

What I’d really like to ask is, do you feel like you’re on fire, too?

“I kinda envy the ability to be able to come back through the flames after being completely destroyed. Like I could burn my world as I know it to the ground and somehow make it out alive.” A wistfulness coats Reid’s voice, and my chest aches from hearing it.

“It’s kind of comforting, isn’t it?” I ask, tempting fate as I take a step closer, beginning to close the space between us.

“Knowing your situation doesn’t have to be permanent.

” Tenderly, I circle his wrist with my fingers and move his drawing so it lies flat in the small amount of space between us.

His breath hitches in his throat as his gaze darts down to where we’re connected, tongue swiping across his lower lip before his eyes lift to meet mine once more. “It is,” he says softly.

His breathing becomes heavy as my thumb strokes across the inside of his wrist. My gaze falls to where we touch, where the pale color of his skin contrasts against the warmer tone of mine. Without thought, I bend my head forward as my lips ache to replace my thumb on his wrist.

Reid does nothing to stop my approach. His pupils are wide and so damn full of want. I bet he would let me ravage him against this desk right now. He’s probably imagining it too, with how rapidly his chest rises and falls.

I bend forward farther. He stays there frozen, in arousal or fear, I can’t tell, but it fuels me just the same. Only a few inches remain.

And the only thing that stops me from pressing a kiss to his skin is my reflection in a ring I’m wearing. It snaps me back into the moment. Where we are. Who we are.

“I-I’m sorry,” I mutter my apology as I let go of Reid’s wrist and step away.

Two weeks have passed since that morning when I almost finally put my lips on Reid.

I’ve replayed the tension-filled moment more times than I care to admit.

But, Dios mio, how was I able to resist such a loving act, considering how raw and open he was being with me?

It was as if he were personally asking me to be the one to destroy him and breathe life back into him lest he be suffocated by the surrounding ashes.

With every glimpse into his mind, I find myself drawn closer to him. While the physical attraction is a large portion of what started our relationship, it’s the emotional aspect I am yearning for. What I wouldn’t fucking give to be able to talk to him about anything without restriction.

Not that we haven’t talked. As dangerous as it may be to do so, Reid and I have been seeing each other often. Long chats in my office, early breakfasts before class starts, and the occasional shared late dinner on a fatiguing day.

My restraint around him has impressed me.

Almost as much as his good behavior has.

Even in these moments when it’s just the two of us talking about our days or getting to know small things about each other, it still doesn’t feel like it’s only us in the room.

There is always an overbearing weight of my profession and his future—the one his parents have planned for him.

With our current conversation, it’s become clearer why Reid had a false name and very little information on his dating profile.

I’ve learned his parents have a rather successful business and they expect him to join the ranks as soon as he graduates.

It might be inappropriate, but a full body laugh leaves my lips when he informs me how difficult it would be to follow in the family steps since he’s never actually taken a business class during his three years at Oakhart.

I wipe the crumbs from the warm cheese danish that Reid has brought me this morning.

“You’re a rebel with a cause, it seems,” I comment, setting the napkin down in front of me.

He and I are sitting across from each other at a small table near the front of the lecture hall.

“And thank you again for breakfast, Reid.”

His responding smile is radiant, even as he shakes his head at me. Following suit, he sets down his empty wrapper, leaving his hand only a few inches from mine.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever told about my desire to become a school counselor and work with children.

I want to do something that matters, something where I feel like I’m making a difference in someone’s life, you know?

You’re probably the only person in my life who would understand that feeling.

” The levity in Reid’s voice is the sweetest sound I’ve heard in weeks, and I can’t resist cupping his hand into mine, if barely for a moment.

“And I’m honored you feel safe enough to share it with me.”