Page 19 of Last Seen

Chapter Twelve

Halley

Part of her wants to walk away from this. Like her dad says, it’s a dangerous road, memory. But what sort of scientist would she be if she shied away when things got difficult?

This is your family.

That’s not enough of a deterrent. Her incessant curiosity is usually a help. Usually. Now, it’s going to get her in trouble. She can feel it like a breeze coming through the window.

The envelope opens. The pages spill out. Theo has been thorough. He’s contacted the Nashville homicide people and gotten more than he’d promised.

Crime scene photos, the autopsy report, notes from the detectives.

Her mother’s long white arm, trailing off the stainless steel autopsy table.

Halley feels the pressure building inside her. This was a mistake. A terrible mistake.

She shovels the pages back into the envelope, her throat closing with tears.

Who is she kidding? There is no way she can look at this dispassionately.

This is her mom . She might not remember her well, but there are still moments, sensory details, that give her a sense of who this woman was.

The scraps and fragments of a missing life.

Warm fuzzies. The scent of Oil of Olay. The shine of a diamond stud—the same diamond studs that Halley wears religiously.

A Christmas morning with footie pajamas.

Susannah chasing her around with the camcorder.

The hurt of a pulled pigtail. A bruise on her arm being prodded. Whispers, whispers—“ what a nasty little thing you are ”—and nightmares after.

That wall of black. Red spots on the white living room rug.

Are these memories? Are they hers?

Her breath is coming short, and in her hurry, two pictures have dropped to the floor. She tries not to look as she picks them up but catches a glimpse of one: it’s of the living room. Her old living room. Different from what she imagined, remembered, but the same.

A sharp pain constricts her chest, but she lets herself remember it, the room coming to life in her mind.

A white rug, and finger paint everywhere.

Her mother is going to be so angry. She has to clean it up.

But she can’t reach the paper towels on the counter.

She drags a stool and climbs up. Rips them off.

Hurries back to the living room. There is something big lying on the floor.

She can’t look. She must clean up the paint.

She wipes and wipes and wipes, and it smears, going deeper into the rug’s pile. She whimpers in frustration. Fear. Tears. It smells strange. Her head hurts so bad.

Voices. There are voices. The female voice shrieks. She can’t make out the words.

She looks at the mantel. The photo of the family has paint on it. The fireplace is red. The doorbell rings, and rings, and rings again ...

And then she’s back in her kitchen, her hair making her neck cold, shivering with some sort of recall chills.

She feels ill. Her arm hurts. A bruise has formed on the soft underside, just above her wrist. Did she do that to herself?

Ailuros is staring at her with crossed blue eyes, his tail fluffed out in fear.

She must have screamed, made some noise of distress.

“Sorry, baby. Come here.”

He allows himself to be comforted, then strolls off, indignant.

She needs to talk to her dad. She needs more answers. She needs to understand what’s happening to her.

Halley has never been anxious, not like some of her friends. But she recognizes this feeling in herself as more than discomfort, but a frantic desperation to know. To understand.

Is this what it feels like to lose your mind? A rush of emotions and sensations and mysterious memories? All crowing, shouting, fighting to be heard, seen, experienced. What was it Theo said about the madness closing in? How did he know this would happen? She is seeing spots.

God, Halley. Breathe.

She drags in some air, wills her heart rate to slow. She is working herself up, and for what? Nothing she does now will change what happened. Knowing won’t undo the act. Her mother will forever be gone, a ghost in the machine. She can never get her back.

She can’t help it, though. She has to know. Why was Cat dangerous? What was wrong with her mind that made her lash out at her little sister?

Before Halley leaves for the hospital, she tries the number on the missing persons report. It rings and rings, but no one answers, and there’s no voicemail. She tries it again, thinking maybe she put in the wrong digit somewhere. Same thing.

Frustrated, she puts the envelope and pictures into her backpack and heads to the Jeep. She cranks some Nirvana and drives to the hospital. As she pulls into the parking lot, her cell rings.

“Theo? Good morning.”

“Hey. Did you sleep?”

“Hardly call it that. I dozed a bit. I’m already at the hospital. The package came.”

“Did you look at it?”

“I started. You were right, it was too much, so I’ve put it away. I found out some stuff about Cat, though. She went to Harvard after she got out. I’m going to make some calls after I talk to Dad, see if I can’t nail down some more details.”

“And do what with them?” he asks, the inquisitorial tone making her pause.

“Well, if she’s missing, maybe I can find her.”

There is a deep pause on the other side of the phone. “You want to go searching for a woman who’s been gone for fifteen years, who, let me remind you, murdered your mother and tried to kill you, too? Isn’t that a bit ...”

“A bit what?”

He sighs. “A bit foolhardy. You have no resources. No training—no real-world experience.” At her indignant sigh: “Hal, I know you’re a trained forensic scientist, and good at it.

That’s not what I mean. Everyone is saying your sister is dangerous.

I think maybe you need to take a step back, think rationally about this.

Let law enforcement know what you’ve discovered. See if they’ll agree to look into it.”

She can’t help it; she sees red. “I am acting more than rationally. This is my world being blown up here, Theo. I think, under the circumstances, I deserve a damn award for how rational I’m being.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m worried about you. I want to help. What can I do to help?”

“Find out who filed the missing persons report. I want to talk to whoever it was. There’s a Boston phone number on it. I called it but it rang off the hook.”

Silence. She can imagine him with his head down, running his thumb and forefinger along his eyebrows as he does when he’s thinking. “Give me the number. I’ll make some calls, see what I can find out. But Halley, you have to promise me you’re going to be careful. Some secrets should stay buried.”

A knock against the side of the Jeep makes Halley jerk. Kater is standing by the window, grinning.

“I gotta go. I need to talk to my dad. Thanks, Theo. I promise I’ll be careful.”

She hangs up before he can reply, just in case. Last night’s kindnesses from him feel far away.

She rolls down the window. Nurses scurry past into the building. A chilly breeze ruffles her hair, which is still damp.

Kater immediately looks concerned. “You okay? Your face is all red. What were you doing, sitting here holding your breath?”

“Something like that. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Seriously, are you okay? You seem ... off.”

“Oh, you know. Stress about Dad, and stuff.”

“Stuff?”

This is a friend, someone she can trust. And she doesn’t want to be alone with this right now.

“I just found out my mom didn’t die in a car accident like I always thought.”

“Oh, Halley, I am so sorry. How did she die?”

“Murder. She was murdered.”

Kater’s face goes white. “Jeez. That’s ... By who? Not your dad?”

“Oh, God, no. Actually, it was my sister. Who I also thought was dead. Apparently it’s been ‘hide the truth from Halley’ all these years.”

“Your dad didn’t tell you? Why?”

Damn good question. “He thought I was in danger. Which ... Well, none of it matters now. I found out, and I need to track down my sister. She went missing fifteen years ago, supposedly.”

Halley gets out of the Jeep, and they walk toward the ER entrance, their feet grinding the loose gravel.

“Do you know from where?”

“No, but I’ll figure it out. I have some leads to follow. My husband is checking some stuff, too.”

“Ooh. Tell me about this husband? Is he the hottie you always dreamed of?”

She thinks back to his declaration of love last night. “Sort of. Yeah. He’s hot. Tall. Works for ATF.” She smiles despite herself. “We’re having some issues. He’s worried about me.”

They hit the doors, which zoom apart with a pneumatic hiss. Kater pulls her still-wet hair into a bun. “Listen, I hate to run, I want to talk more, but I’m totally late for my shift. You should come out with us tonight. Just some folks from town. No pressure.”

“I don’t know if I’d be great company, Kater. There’s a lot going on.”

“It’s Marchburg, Halley. How much could possibly be going on?” She winks, and it eases the tension.

Halley laughs. “True. All right. I’ll try. Where should I meet you?”

“Taco Joe’s. We’re getting some beers and tacos.”

“We?”

“You, me, Aaron, a few other people from town. You should know most everyone.”

“Are you trying to set me up? Because I really do have a husband.”

“You’re not wearing a ring ... so ... maybe?” Kater’s pretty face shines when she smiles. “I gotta run. See you at seven.”