Page 16 of Last Seen

She hears the whoosh that indicates an email has been sent, and opens her inbox, waiting impatiently for the message to come through. A ding, and it’s there.

“Thank you, Theo. I owe you one.”

He touches his forehead, his chin, his heart.

Glances to the side at the dog. She hears the song in the background shift to the Smiths.

She recognizes he needs to say something and is holding himself back.

A small buzz starts in her chest. Is he going to change his mind?

Is he going to tell her what she’s been dying to hear for years?

“What is it?”

“Will you take some advice from me?”

Maybe not. She keeps the disappointment out of her voice. “Of course.”

“This is a very difficult situation, and I know you are probably closing off your true feelings in order to investigate. There’s a reason why people are recused from their loved ones’ cases.

You don’t have a clear head, no matter how much you think you do.

Especially now, with everything happening at work, and . .. with us.”

“I am aware of this, Theo.”

“I’m just saying, don’t let your emotions betray you.

They’re going to get in your way, and you’re going to jump to conclusions, and they might not be correct.

Keep an open mind. This is a delicate moment for you, and on top of it, finding out about your mom in this uncontrolled way?

It may seem like it happened a long time ago, but as you regain the memories that I am willing to bet my life are right there, just below the surface, you could be destabilized.

Promise me you’ll call me immediately if you start feeling like there’s no end to the madness, okay? ”

She is caught off guard by the gentleness in his tone. All they’ve done recently is argue, and it’s been anything but gentle. “Thank you for that offer. It’s very kind.”

“I mean it. We’re still married. You’re still my wife, even if this is just a temporary reprieve. I don’t like you disappearing from my life like this.”

“You know how to fix that.”

“Shit, Halley. You’re being unreasonable. You never used to be unreasonable.” The edge is back, and with it, her heart shutters.

“I think it’s better if we stop this, Theo.”

“So now you want a divorce? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Now is not the time,” she says. “We can talk about it when I—”

“When you what? Why is it you get to make all the decisions here? Why do I not get a say?”

She can feel the flush rising on her chest. “You are the one causing this, not me.”

“That’s entirely unfair. I’ve explained why this isn’t the right path for me, why I think it’s not good for us.”

“Right. The last time you explained your feelings, you made it pretty clear it was your way or nothing.”

“Because you gave me no other option. It’s always been what you want. You’ve never even tried to understand ... Damn it. This isn’t some DNA in a test tube for you to puzzle out. There isn’t a right or wrong answer.” The dog whines.

“That’s not enough for me. I want a family. I always have. And you’ve made it clear you don’t. We want fundamentally different things from our lives. So there’s really not much more to this.”

“You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”

“You don’t get to make that choice, Theo.”

Silence. He is frozen on the screen. The moment is so deep and pervasive she wonders if the call has dropped.

Finally, he shifts and heaves in a deep breath, and the spell is broken. He runs his thumbs across his eyes.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe we can’t figure this out.”

“Can we just ... table this for a few days? I need time. Everything has changed for me. I haven’t processed the news about my past, and I doubt I will until I can find my sister, or at least figure out what happened to her.”

He nods. “I think you’re throwing away something great, but hey, you do you.”

“Thank you.”

They sit in another uncomfortable silence, looking at everything but each other. God, she did not want things to go like this. Finally, she pulls them back to the reason for the call.

“My dad says Cat’s dangerous. That’s why he moved us away. That she tried to kill me, too.”

Theo spits out a humorless laugh. “He’s not wrong, Halley.

You’ll read it in the detective’s notes, but when she was arrested, Catriona said she just snapped.

‘Consumed by a black rage,’ that’s the quote.

She was a volatile individual. Whether her mental illness drove her to kill, or another, deeper issue, who knows.

But if you come up dry in your search, I’d look into therapists in the area.

These diseases can’t be turned on and off like a spigot.

She functioned in society from 1993 to 2002, and I’d bet cash money she had professional help doing so. ”

“That’s a great idea. Thank you, Theo. I appreciate your help. Did you eat?” God, the caring is so ingrained in her.

“Um, yeah. Grabbed pizza.”

“Funny. So did I.”

“Do you want me to stay on here while you open the email?”

She glances over at the email icon. “Yes and no. I think ... no. I might not look at it tonight anyway.”

“Don’t lie to me, Halley James. You’re going to be deep in it all night.”

“Maybe. I have a lot of thinking to do. But I promise I’ll call and wake you up if I get too messed up. Seriously. Promise.”

“I love you,” he says, and she freezes. He hasn’t said those three words in a very long time.

“That’s ... nice to hear. It’s been a while.”

He doesn’t flinch but stares deep into her eyes through the screen.

“I just wanted you to know that. Before you go off on this understandably huge tangent in your life, I just want you to know you have me in your corner. No matter what. I still think we can find a way through all of this, together. So yeah, pressing pause. You do what you need to, take care of your dad, investigate your past, and when you’re done, come home.

Charlie and I will be waiting. We’ll tackle the lab situation. And we’ll talk.”

When his face is no longer on her screen, she is surprised to feel bereft by its absence.

It’s just the day, she thinks. It’s just you’re feeling off balance, and he is a steadying presence. Nothing has really changed.

Keep telling yourself that.