Page 37 of Lady of the Drowned Empire

I was going to be sick. Two years. Two Godsdamned years. All the endless nights, the kissing and touching and smiling and dancing…for nothing. For absolutely fucking nothing.

Even though I knew we weren’t right, weren’t destined for each other, even though my heart belonged to another, it still hurt, losing this future. Losing his protection. Losing the status I’d fought so hard for to keep my family safe.

I’d thought Tristan loved me in his own way. I’d thought, at least, even if he never fully accepted me, he was my friend. But this…I never would have imagined he’d betray me like this, humiliate me this way before all of Bamaria. I’d thought I’d been more to him, at least worth being spared this shit show.

And I’d thought I at least had the loyalty of Bamaria, who knew Godsdamned well Tristan was mine for two years, but I didn’t, not based on their cheers and shouts of congratulations. As if they’d forgotten me completely. As if Tristan and I had never been together. As if I’d never been Bamaria’s heir. As if he weren’t now sitting right beside my own flesh and blood, my cousin.

My vision blurred, and I found myself being led to the very back of the line of litters and placed into a seat. I closed my eyes, my cheeks red and my heart hurting, until I felt someone climb onto the litter beside me.

“My lady,” drawled the Imperator.

I jolted. He was sitting on the bench beside me. There was barely an inch of space between us.

“Your…your highness,” I managed. “Have I…?” I turned desperately around the litter, looking everywhere but at him. “Have I sat in the wrong seat?”

“Not at all,” he said, voice low. “I requested this.”

My throat went dry. “That hardly seems proper. I’ll no longer be an heir when this litter comes to a stop.” I willed my heart to slow, to stop beating so loudly. “I do not deserve to sit with the Imperator.”

He smiled, an actual smile that lifted his eyes—eyes that were black, wolfish, predatory. He leaned toward me. “How about we let Imperators decide who does and does not deserve to sit beside them?”

I felt my lip trembling with fear but tamped it down. “Of course, your highness.”

“You disparage yourself, my lady,” he said. “You know, I think sometimes me and you got off on the wrong foot. Years ago. I’m not sure what I may have done to cause such offense, but I do hope we can mend our relationship moving forward.”

You rapist piece of shit. You murdered my cousin…and Gods know what else.

I schooled my face, forcing a smile across my lips. “Your highness, I would enjoy a mending of our relationship. And I meant no offense now. I was simply confused,” I said sweetly and glanced beyond him. “When does Arkturion Aemon take control of our security?”

His lip curled, and he leaned toward me. “Do you doubt my ability to protect you, my lady? Do you believe only the Ready capable?”

“No,” I said. “Simply that I know he is….” My heart was pounding too hard, beating too loudly. For a second, terror gripped me. Would my contract with Mercurial heat again? I still didn’t know what caused it. The Imperator couldn’t know, couldn’t ask why. “He’s,” I continued, feeling that there was no extra warmth in my chest, “supposed to be in charge.”

The Imperator nodded. “Your life was in danger back in the arena. And believe it or not, I do care about your safety as much as the Ready and your aunt.”

My fingers squeezed, knotting into the folds of my dress at my lap.

“Which is why, my lady, I am making it my personal mission to keep you safe. Ka Batavia’s favor is not with Bamaria right now. It is particularly not with you.” He grinned and waved to the crowd. “Not after they all witnessed you killing one of their own.”

She was my friend. And you and your Godsdamned-Moriel-bastard uncle forced me to.

I nodded.

“I am sure it cannot be easy to see Lord Tristan with Lady Naria. But you must remember, the people now see you as his cousin’s killer. I know you care for your Ka. This is for the best. And my sitting with you here now as we ascend to the temple and turn over power to Bamaria’s rightful ruler sends a statement. A powerful one.”

“Oh,” I said carefully. “What statement is that?”

“That you are protected. That you are welcome.”

I swallowed, my throat still painfully dry. He was speaking in this strangely sweet way I’d never heard from him before.

“I thank you,” I said, praying my voice wasn’t shaking as terribly as my hands were. “I am grateful for the protection.”

“Perhaps, in this short time we are together, we might begin to mend this rift between us.”

“I….” I swallowed again, feeling thousands of eyes on me, acutely aware of Tristan and his new fiancée up ahead and the fact that I was helpless, sitting on this litter with a wolf. “I would like that.”

He nodded, smiling even wider, a cold gust of wind breezing through his blonde hair. “Good. Because I think it’s important for you to see the possibilities of such a relationship. After all, you are still without magic. And while you were impressive in the arena, I think we both know you may not be so lucky next time. I would not place my bets there.”