Page 29 of Lady of the Drowned Empire

But she didn’t deserve my protection or my love. I needed to get rid of it, to burn these feelings away.

I took a deep breath. “It was Arianna. Arianna killed my father. She led the Emartis.”

Rhyan’s eyes widened. “Lyr, how do you know? Morgana?”

“No. As far as I can tell, Morgs didn’t even know until she read my mind.” Gods, the look in her eyes, the feel of her aura….

“You’re sure?” he asked.

“After Mercurial tonight, I saw her. I saw her outside, surrounded by the Soturi of Ka Kormac. They were protecting her. Guarding her. She was preparing to go back inside for the announcement, and she readjusted her arm cuff—it was irritating her or something. I was around a corner, so she didn’t see me. But I could see her clearly. And I saw a tattoo she’d been hiding beneath the cuff. A silver moon above black seraphim wings.”

“Emartis,” he whispered. “Fuck. Lyr if this is true, and she knows….” His entire body was brimming with tension as his aura pulsed. “We can’t stay here. We need to go.”

“Go where?” I asked.

“Anywhere. You say the word, and we’re gone. We don’t have to live within the Empire. My vorakh can get us out. Get us beyond Lumeria.”

“We can’t do that.”

“If your life is in danger, yes, we fucking can.”

“And my sisters? My people? Yours? We can’t abandon them to this. Can’t let her get away with it.” I sniffled. “I can’t let my father’s memory—his life—I can’t let this go without justice. Not when I know.” My shoulders shook. “I know you want to protect me. And I want to protect you, too, more than anything, and I will if it comes down to it. But you and I, we’re not made for this, for running away. It’s like you said, we live in a world forcing us to make horrible choices. And I know what these choices have done to you. What they’re doing to me.” Haleika’s face flashed in my mind: her eyes red, her teeth sharpening into fangs. Because of me, because of my actions, one of my best friends had been turned into a monster, and I’d had to kill her. I’d had to end her life.

“Lyr.” Rhyan’s eyes searched mine. “Please.”

“Rhyan, the fact that you’re still here tells me everything I need to know. I remember when you didn’t swear to my father. My blood runs through your veins, as yours does in mine. But you are still part of Ka Hart. And I know you still want justice. You still care about Glemaria.”

His eyes squeezed shut. “You’re right. I don’t want to run away. I have little left to my name but my word. My oath. And I know what I said before about us—about what we need. I don’t take any of it back. I meant everything. We need time. I’m scared. Scared of what my feelings for you can make me do. Can make me become. I wanted to give us time. But not when you’re in danger. Not like this. Not when I can’t stay away from you. Not when I can’t fucking bear to be parted.”

“Then we stay together. And…we stay.”

He pulled his hand from mine, drawing me onto his lap. “Okay. Okay.” He hugged me to him. “We’ll stay. But if Arianna finds out you know, if I catch one whiff of a threat to you from her, from anyone—I don’t want to run. But I will, for you. The plan hasn’t changed.” These were the same words he’d said to me before I’d entered the arena to fight Haleika. He pulled back, cupping my face, and said fiercely, “I won’t lose you.”

“And I won’t lose you.”

“So what in Lumeria do we do now?”

“I need to get through tomorrow. Put my game face on. Stand before the people of Bamaria. Allow my aunt to be named arkasva by Meera. Clap when she’s announced as High Lady. Convince everyone I support this, that I’m not a threat. And then I’m going to find the map Mercurial spoke of. I’m going to find my power and claim it. It’s the only way.”

“How?”

“Mercurial wants this to happen. Something tells me it won’t be long before he returns with some instructions on what to do next.”

“Which makes me not want this to happen,” he growled.

“I know, but what choice do I have? I know I’ve gotten this far with training—thanks to you—but now, without my station, the Emperor’s promise doesn’t mean as much. I could still be forced out of Bamaria because I have no power. I could still be refused a role as a soturion. And if I’m going to fight my aunt, I need to claim my magic. I have to.”

Rhyan exhaled. “What if,” he said slowly, “what if you could find your magic without the Afeya?”

“I didn’t find a way before,” I said, but I hadn’t had much time to look either.

“You didn’t know there was a way before.”

Frowning, I exhaled sharply.

“Sleep on it,” he said. “We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

I nodded, and we both fell silent.