Page 22

CHAPTER 22

Kayley

When I woke up on Friday, which was our eighth morning at Rawhide Ranch, I felt the smile on my face even before I’d pulled enough brain cells together to consider ordering my eyelids open. Snuggled in this comfortable bed next to the man I was reasonably certain I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…

And a pleasantly sore ass.

Because last night I’d felt brave enough to go down to the Dungeon, let Vic put me on one of the spanking benches down there, and he had fun reddening my ass. We didn’t play down there long because I was too eager to return upstairs and commence with the fucking.

But…

Yeah .

Last night was…

Wow .

I knew the research. Over the years, I’d read dozens of books by laymen and experts alike. We’d attended classes here and watched even more on the TV.

But that all paled in comparison to the lovely mix of brain chemicals that turned my mind into soup and left me eager to explore further.

Now I understood why many of my colleagues who weren’t kinksters might accept the practices, but they didn’t really get it.

Hell, I’d thought I got it before this vacation.

I didn’t know—and still didn’t want dirty deets—exactly what went on between my brother and the men he loved. But whatever it was, if they felt a fraction for each other as I felt for Vic now?

They deserved their happiness. They deserved peace.

They deserved a legal marital status as a throuple the same way married couples enjoyed theirs, but that was a future battle to be waged.

I also understood why the detractors intractably insist it’s abuse. Yes, there were plenty of abusers who used BDSM as an excuse to be domineering and violent assholes and who got off on hurting their unwilling partner.

Last night was not that.

Last night was the farthest thing from abuse one could get and still remain in the same solar system as Earth.

There was a fine line to be straddled in some cases, and if an unaware newbie managed to land in the clutches of an abusive dipshit, sure.

But what did I want?

I wanted to do that again, soon, frequently, and realized we still had plenty of time here to experiment.

Damn, I wished I could stop time and just… savor this.

I still hadn’t opened my eyes and loved the soft, comforting sound of Vic’s deep slumber. Something else I’d noticed, about him instead of me—he seemed more relaxed and at peace than I could ever remember seeing him.

His smiles erased fine lines in his rugged face that took a good decade off him, at least.

Was this a tantalizing preview of the man I could fall asleep next to nearly every night?

If we got our shit together, obviously.

I wasn’t rock-star rich, but over the years I’d been careful with my money and invested wisely and had accumulated a comfortable nest egg, as long as I didn’t do stupid shit like buy fancy cars or anything.

My house was paid off. I didn’t really want to sell it, but if I did, the last time I’d checked I’d easily make over four times what I paid for it. And I’d be able to move somewhere else where the insurance wasn’t insane. Maybe someplace that didn’t experience nearly every natural disaster except annual hurricanes and volcanoes.

Maaaaybe someplace like… here.

Then again, I wasn’t much of a winter person. Or, I could downsize to a condo, still be close to my parents, and save a ton of money that would allow us to spend a few weeks here every summer.

Maybe even buy a condo or a small house out here for summer and holiday visits.

Still, the thought of just walking away from my career at my age, when I still had a lot of things I wanted to accomplish, books and papers to write—a new generation of mental health professionals to educate—didn’t sit well or easily with me.

To the point that I knew if I did that without giving it serious consideration and working through all the factors with Vic, it’d slowly poison things on my end.

Then again, my big bro had patiently waited over a decade for Elliot to de-ass his head, so maybe slow and steady was a trait we share.

On the other side of that equation, I wouldn’t feel right asking Vic to retire before he felt ready. I disagreed with my brother’s career choice, especially when it nearly killed him, but after all these years, I now better understood the mindset of the highly trained people who protect other people.

And Vic definitely was a protector.

It was wonderful seeing the soft and gooey side of my big bad special agent, but where we would end up meeting in the middle remained something we hadn’t fully hashed out yet.

From the things he’d said so far, I had the distinct feeling he wasn’t ready to file his retirement papers.

Vic stirred next to me, drawing me closer. “Hey, baby,” he mumbled. “How you feeling?”

I nuzzled his head and finally pried my eyes open. “Damned good.”

He peeled an eye open to stare at me. “How’s the ass?”

I squirmed against the bed. “Good.”

“I want us to take the day off today,” he said.

I snorted. “We’re on vacation.”

“I meant from impact play.” He rolled toward me so he could more easily look at me. “Let’s spend today having fun around the resort. I don’t want to burn you out on impact play, and you need a little time to heal anyway. They’re having some sort of video game tournament down in the arcade today.”

“I’m not much of a gamer,” I said.

“I meant meee.” He smiled. “I want to enter it.”

“Oh. Oh!” I laughed. “All right. We can do that.”

We eventually dragged ourselves out of bed and had breakfast. Before returning to our room, we got the details for the tournament and Vic signed up.

The tournament would last for several hours, at least. When we went to the arcade, it was packed with Bigs, Littles, and everybody else.

There wasn’t even a place to sit, except the floor.

Vic studied the throng and then turned to me. “I don’t have to do this. We can go?—”

“No,” I said. “I want you to have fun. I think it’s completely reasonable for you to take this time for yourself.”

“Yeah?”

“Duh.” I rose onto my toes and brushed a kiss across his lips. “I want to watch you play, but do you mind if I don’t sit here the entire time?”

He pulled me in for another kiss. “How about I text you when I’m about to go up?”

“That’s a plan.” He sent me on my way with another kiss and I returned upstairs, uncertain what I wanted to do. Then I thought for a moment and returned to our room to retrieve my tablet.

Back in the lobby I bumped into Emmy, in full Little mode and dressed in a cow onesie, who introduced me to Lilah, also a Little.

I offered Lilah a hug and she accepted it. “Thank you so much for the bracelet,” I told her. “I love it.”

Lilah smiled, looking a little bashful. Her dark blonde hair lay braided down each side of her head. “Thank you, Miss DeeDee. I’m glad you do.”

It was hard to believe this woman, who was dressed in a Stitch onesie, was a game warden.

“Do you make other kinds of jewelry?”

She nodded. “I teach classes too!” But it was a kid saying it, not a woman.

And in this circumstance, it fit her perfectly.

“When’s the next class?” I asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon. You can sign up over there.” She pointed to the front desk.

“Thanks.”

I let them continue on their way and headed over to do just that. From there I made my way to the cafe, got myself a milkshake—because why the hell not, since it was my vacation, dammit—and settled into a comfortable chair in front of the spacious view to read for a little while.

It was difficult to focus on my book because the view… drew me in.

Soothed me.

Everything moved at a slower, calmer pace here, and I knew I could easily get addicted to it. I’d been reading for the better part of an hour when my secret shadows walked up to me.

Their “hidey-ho neighbor” aw-shucks Midwest accents were gone.

“Dr. Cruz, we need you to please come with us,” Ashe said. He beckoned me with that two-fingered wave Vic, my brother, and their coworkers were infamous for.

I think that’s when it slammed home something bad had happened, because of that wave and that he used my real name.

These were absolutely Secret Service agents.

I stood. “What about Vic?” I said.

Jenette motioned for me to start moving. “He’s aware of the situation, ma’am.”

“What’s happened? What’s going on? And I’m not going anywhere without Vic!”

The woman stepped in close. “Ma’am, he’ll meet us at the car,” she quietly said. “He went to your room to get your things. Please, come with us. Now .”

A deep chill seeped into my soul and I let them herd me out the door and down the drive, their heads on a swivel, to where a vehicle sat idling. They opened the back door and were about to help me inside when I turned and spotted Vic sprinting toward us with my purse, computer bag, and my smaller carryon.

Relief filled me until I realized he carried only my bags.

He ran up and handed my things off to Ashe before turning to me. “You need to leave, baby. Right now.”

“Why aren’t you coming?”

“I need to wrap up here. They’ll take you home. To LA,” he clarified.

“What the hell’s going on? Is it more attacks?”

He grimly shook his head. “Stella Woodley was murdered by her husband before he killed himself. It happened while she was on a video call with Elliot. Elliot, Leo, and Jordan witnessed everything. Shortly before that, she publicly released a video that exposed her husband and several others as the ones behind the attacks.”

Horror filled me. “Oh my god!”

“They’re going to take you home,” Vic continued. “I’ll meet you in DC. I’ve already talked to Leo and he’s booking a charter flight for you and your parents out of LA for Sunday morning. He wants you in DC, especially to help him with Elliot and his parents.”

I was still stuck trying to process… everything.

He gathered my hands in his. “Baby, please . I need you to go with them. They want me back in DC immediately. I’m leaving with the team they have deployed out here once we finish packing.”

I sniffled. “I want to stay with you. Why can’t I go to DC with you?”

He gently cupped my face and kissed me. “We talked about me being in charge, right?”

I nodded.

“Then please, baby, do this for me. Follow my instructions. Let them take you home, okay?”

I struggled not to burst into tears. “See? My birthdays are cursed.”

He managed a wry smile and pulled me into his arms, his chin rubbing the top of my head. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. And I’ll pack the rest of your things and bring them with me to DC so you’ll have them.”

“Can I stay with you?” I asked against his shoulder, where my mouth was pressed. “In DC?”

He started to answer before he hesitated.

I said it so he didn’t have to. “I know, I know. Leo wants me in the residence with them, right?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“You can stay there with me, can’t you?”

“We’ll see. That’s not up to me. I’ll ask.” He tipped my head back to stare into my eyes. “I love you. This will be okay.”

He slanted his lips over mine and I closed my eyes, savoring this kiss, never wanting it to end.

If it didn’t end I could ignore the creeping horror struggling to break through that, despite the victim’s shitty nature, my brother-in-law and his family just experienced a horrific, traumatic loss.

And that Elliot, Leo, and Jordan were second-hand witnesses.

Fuuuck .

I really needed to suck it up because my problems paled in comparison to theirs.

“I love you, too,” I said once he ended the kiss.

He helped me into the back of the car while the two agents climbed in the front, Jenette behind the wheel.

Vic leaned in for one last kiss. “Text me as much as you want, but if I’m in the air or driving I might not be able to respond right away.”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Be my good girl, okay?”

I nodded even as it felt like my heart was twisting into a painful knot. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.”

One last kiss before he shut the door, tapped the top of the roof twice, and we sped down the long driveway toward the front gate.

I turned to look out the rearview window and the sight of him standing there growing smaller in the distance nearly broke my heart.

Goddammit.

A helicopter awaited just outside the Ranch’s main gates. “Why didn’t it land inside the Ranch?” I asked.

“To draw less attention,” Asher grimly said.

It transported me, Asher, Jenette, and our things to Bozeman, where we were quickly loaded onto a chartered plane and, minutes later were climbing into the air heading for LA.

This was something I couldn’t get used to. Not just because I didn’t like flying, but because it almost felt wrong to be ferried around in this manner. Like I was someone special, when I felt anything but.

I couldn’t even fly coach if I took a commercial flight. We could only fly first class, or if there was a business class section at the front. Even then I was always boarded from a separate airport entrance and unloaded first, quickly whisked away by awaiting vehicles parked on the tarmac and escorted by airport police.

It felt… surreal.

Even more so now.

It was after 9:00 when I numbly walked up to my front door. It was opened by an agent who immediately closed it behind us once Asher, Jenette, and I were inside. That agent took my bags from Asher and carried them into my bedroom for me.

“You guys don’t have to stay here,” I wearily said.

Jenette cleared her throat. “Sorry, ma’am. Mr. Cruz?—”

“Fuck. Yeah, yeah, I know. He asked you to stay with me. In the house, right?”

She coughed. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry.”

I turned to my babysitters. “When do I meet up with Mom and Dad?”

Asher answered. “They’re en route home now. Sunday morning, we’ll transport all of you to LAX. Your private chartered flight departs at 0700 Pacific time.”

“Why can’t we fly out tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, ma’am,” Jenette said. “Mr. Cruz?—”

I waved away her answer. “Yes, protective big brother.” I was still trying to… process. “I need to go grocery shopping. I don’t have any food.”

“Mr. Cruz ordered us not to let you leave the house,” she said. “We can go shopping for you. Just make us a list.”

That figured. Terrific.

“Is there an active threat against me right now?”

“No, ma’am, but he said?—”

“Protective big brother,” I grumbled. “Got it.”

I headed into my bedroom and closed the door behind me, flopping onto my bed for a long moment to… decompress.

Poor Elliot.

Yeah, I know, I know. I went from feeling resentful of him for the disruption to my life and Leo’s, to wanting to hunt down a necromancer to reanimate his sister so I could slug her for being a complete cunt and getting herself killed all because she’d wanted to scramble up the DC political ladder at her brother’s expense.

But no matter how shitty the victim, nobody deserved to go through what Elliot and his folks now were.

Or Jordan.

Not Leo either, but unlike Jordan, he was used to seeing the darker side of life and better able to cope with it. Although I suspected he’d need decompression time of his own after the fact to help him process the absorbed grief from Elliot and his in-laws.

Obviously, Stella didn’t deserve to die, but I certainly wouldn’t shed any tears for her.

From previous talks I’d had with Elliot with my Dr. Cruz hat firmly in place, I knew he agonized over the fact that his sister wasn’t a person he could ever have a “normal” sibling relationship with. Not the way I did with Leo, or Vic and his siblings.

Stella was a completely transactional person with a win-lose view of the world, an overinflated ego, and probably more than a touch of narcissistic personality disorder.

I’d given Elliot advice ahead of his wedding, about how to deal with his sister and her husband, Ellis, going forward, but unfortunately my worst fears had proved accurate regarding the kind of person Ellis was. Stella piggybacked her emotional dysfunction on top of his toxic ego and…

Well, they were both dead now. I considered that pretty conclusive evidence of a dangerously dysfunctional marriage.

And now Elliot and his parents would pay the price for that.

I tried calling Leo but got his voice mail. Then I tried Jordan’s phone and got his as well.

Even tried Elliot’s.

Hat trick of fail.

When I tried calling Elliot’s mother, Norah Woodley, her cell also went to voice mail.

I didn’t even bother calling Elliot’s father, because I suspected their phones had been turned off.

Packing could wait until tomorrow, so I headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

With the water running, I turned to step inside and caught a glimpse of my bum in the mirror, where several bruises in pretty shades of blues and purples speckled my flesh, along with toothmarks both fresh and fading.

Pausing, I ran my hand over them. That’s when stinging tears blurred my vision.

I’d be petty and childish to throw a tantrum that Vic left for DC without me.

But wasn’t it just another data point? Really?

His career came first in his life.

My career came first in my life.

Was there even room for us to wedge a full-time relationship into what few gaps existed after taking our careers into account?

Sighing, I stepped into the shower and prayed the darkness churning my gut didn’t have anything to do with my worry about our relationship.