Page 18

CHAPTER 18

Victor

I mean, no, I never imagined I’d face more pain and injury from a personal sex toy fired at me from my girlfriend’s ass like an F-16 launching a Sidewinder than I had throughout all my years working The Shift in the Secret Service.

It could’ve been worse.

At least it didn’t arrive with a biological weapon payload.

Still snickering, Kayley snuggled against my side in the hot tub while we sipped our hot chocolate.

“Let’s take butt plugs off the table for this vacation,” she finally managed, still snorting in amusement. “Maybe revisit them at some… safer time.”

“Agreed.” The little fucker hadn’t hit me particularly hard. Surprised me more than anything. But the angle at which it struck with the edge of its base, and right in my balls, had effectively quenched my desire for a little while.

Thank god it hadn’t been the huge, fist-sized one.

Ouch.

“I’m sorry,” she said, followed by another snicker. “Want me to make it up to you?”

I kissed the top of her head. “Let’s just safely relax here for a while, okay?”

“Okay.”

We stared up at the blanket of stars overhead. I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to see stars, much less savor them.

“I had fun with the rope,” she softly admitted. “I’d like to do more of that.”

“Me, too, sweetheart.”

“And I really enjoyed what you did to me while I was tied up.”

I smiled. “So did I.”

“I definitely would like to do more of that .”

“Then we absolutely will.” Because, yes, I damn sure enjoyed doing that.

Oh, no, you mean my girlfriend enjoys it when I disconnect her brain by licking her clit?

Duh. I get that’s a choice for some men not to do it, but my tongue lasts a lot longer than my cock. Bigger ROI, even taking the size differential into consideration.

After another moment of comfortable silence, she followed up with, “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to try spanking me while I’m tied up. Not too hard,” she added.

“I’ll start slow, baby. I promise.”

“What if I don’t like that kind of stuff?” She looked up into my eyes.

I sighed. “Honey, I don’t know how I can phrase this any other way—I don’t love you because of kinky stuff. Kinky stuff is fun, yes. The more important part of the equation is the power-exchange dynamic. I need to be in charge in our relationship. Not to be a controlling, domineering asshole, but because…”

I wanted to carefully phrase this.

“I know you’re a grown-ass adult capable of taking care of yourself,” I continued. “And I’m not looking to micro-manage your life or control your career. But just like it got you hot being tied up with me going down on you, it gets me hot knowing you willingly let me do that. Some people want or even need to be firmly under their partner’s control. I view what I want and need more as protective. Like a Daddy Dom. Like what Derek described to us about the Littles during orientation.”

“My dad’s still alive, and I don’t call him ‘Daddy,’ so we’ll need to talk that out because that won’t work for me.”

“I didn’t mean that’s what I want our dynamic to be, or what I want you to call me. I’m trying to give you an example.”

“Oh. Sorry. Carry on. Sir,” she tacked on with playful snark.

“Firmly nurturing,” I continued. “That’s the best way to describe the vibe I want with you for our dynamic. With some spicy play thrown in when we feel like it. Like bondage, impact and sensation play, and stuff we’ve already been doing, like biting.”

“I like biting,” she said.

“I know you do. And I like biting you.” Boy, did I.

She sipped her cocoa. “I never really thought much about that kind of stuff being kinky.”

“I’m sure there are people who consider anything other than missionary position for the purpose of procreating to be ‘kinky’.”

“True,” she admitted. “So what are you thinking about, hypothetically, when it comes to defining a dynamic between us?”

“That’s what we need to figure out,” I said.

“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now?”

“It’s not that easy.” I puzzled out how best to word it. “It’s hard to say what, exactly, we’re going to do unless we’re trying it.”

“But how do we try it if we don’t know what to do?” she asked.

I gently poked her in the side. “Stop channeling your brother.”

“Ick.” She shuddered. “Can you give me an example, at least?”

“I’d like to have some simple rituals. If we’re living together, that is. Like a morning greeting, bedtime routine. Things like that. Protocols such as when we go out to eat with others, you wait for me to signal it’s okay to eat. Behaviors that will clearly delineate when we’re in Sir and girl mode versus our everyday life.”

She slowly rolled her mug back and forth between her palms. “It feels like I’m missing something in translation. Or I’m trying to overcomplicate it in my head.”

I didn’t answer because I wasn’t a fucking idiot.

Plus, I could tell from her tone she wasn’t done yet, merely rattling it around in her brain so it might better fit into an available slot for processing.

“Basically,” she finally said, “you want to do roleplay?”

“Not exactly. Think about how Jordan and Elliot respond to Leo.” I’d observed this as a Secret Service agent, when the men were safely alone in the executive residence. “Leo’s in charge.”

“You said stop channeling my brother.”

I took a deep breath to maintain my patience. “They defer to him,” I said. “You know what I mean. Career-wise, they’re obviously independent people. But there’s a vulnerability with Jordan and Elliot that you are a witness to as a family member that the general public never sees.”

She slowly nodded. “I… guess? Like I said, I have never been one to spend much time wondering about my brother’s sex life.”

“This isn’t just about sex. This is about a hierarchy.”

She tipped her head back, looking up at me. “I don’t know if I can willingly be okay letting someone dictate my whole life.”

“I’m not looking to dictate your whole life, sweetheart. I’m not looking to turn you into a doormat, or a bang-maid, or anything like that. One of the things I love about you is how independent you are. Which is why it’s even hotter for me when you willingly submit to me. Because I know it means you trust me. And I want to keep you happy and keep you trusting me. It’s a give-and-take.”

“Meaning it’s a performative arrangement?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “There is a communication disconnect here. I’m obviously not doing a very good job explaining this.” Then a thought hit. “There’s a 101 class on the schedule for tomorrow morning that covers relationship dynamics. How about we table this for now and attend that? Maybe it’ll help me clarify what I’m trying to say.”

She cocked her head, watching me. “Takes a secure man to admit he’s not sure what he’s saying.”

“Well, considering getting hit in the junk by a fart-propelled butt plug didn’t scare me off, I think it’s evident that I’m not your average man.”

Did I mention I love the sound of her laughter?

We made our way back into the room, took a quick shower to rinse off the smell of chlorine from the hot tub, and tumbled back into bed. My cock’s recovered confidence that there wouldn’t be future aerial assaults on him allowed me to roll on top of Kayley and cage her with my arms. I slanted my lips over hers and savored our kiss.

I could spend days doing nothing but kissing her.

Hell, I could spend the rest of my life doing it.

I just hoped I got the chance to do it.

“Still feel like playing with the vibrator?” she asked.

I nipped her bottom lip. “I’ll get it.”