Page 12

CHAPTER 12

Kayley

Part of me wished we could lounge in bed all day, especially now that I felt like Vic had melted every bone in my body into a gelatinous goo. Falling back asleep was my preferred option.

But I knew our presence here was conditional, meaning we couldn’t miss our appointment with Derek. I’d determined to make the best out of this situation, so that meant I also wanted to see all the… amenities.

Being out of our room also meant I wouldn’t feel tempted to turn the TV on and flip through news channels to learn the latest. I decided to operate with the mindset that if there was something I needed to know, either Vic or Leo would tell me.

I looked forward to hiking and horseback riding with Vic. We’d never had this long of a stretch of time to ourselves before now and I wanted to know what it felt like to be… normal .

Whatever the hell that was supposed to mean in my no-longer-normal life.

I knew Leo meant well, but now that he was forever Elliot’s First Gentleman, even once he was out of office I would likely be recognized far more than I’d ever dreamed possible. Even if at a public event, I knew I’d carry the invisible weight of forever being Elliot Woodley’s sister-in-law, and I’d be hesitant to just be myself and relax out of the worry of the chances, no matter how slim, of someone watching me.

Once we made it into the shower, we stood there, Vic’s arms wrapped around me from behind, and savored the moment.

This mundane activity was yet another thing we couldn’t usually engage in. A brief, daily pleasure countless couples took for granted.

Dammit, I wanted this . I wanted this every day .

We eventually finished our shower, dressed, and Vic held my hand to lead the way out of our room in search of breakfast.

In the light of day my guess about the impressive views from the main lobby were verified. In fact I stopped, Vic stopping with me, to take it all in. I ignored the other people in the space and tried to will my mind to memorize every square inch. The lodge was beautiful, inside and out.

Through the windows, I studied the mountains out in the distance that didn’t look anything like the ones I normally ignored in LA. Their slopes called to me, inviting me to hike and explore, the golden morning sun sharply crisp and highlighting shadows thrown by their ridges and without any hint of smog in the air.

It would be too easy to picture myself spending a lot of time in this part of the country, and right now I didn’t even know what plans my long-term future held for me.

Finally, Vic gently squeezed my hand. “Sweetheart, let’s go eat and then we can look around before we meet with Derek.”

I forced my focus back onto him, loving his quirky little smirk. “Yeah.”

He led the way across the enormous lobby to the cafe. “This is where I got our food last night,” he said.

The server who greeted us invited us to sit anywhere. Vic picked a table by a window and my focus was once again captured by the gorgeous view. We ordered coffee and water and the server left to get our order while we decided what we wanted.

I was vaguely aware of Vic sliding a menu across the table to me. “What do you feel like this morning?”

“Running away from the world and never coming back,” I answered without thinking.

Then my brain processed what my mouth had spit out and I looked across the table to find Vic smiling. “With you, I mean. Obviously.”

His smile widened. “Obviously, baby.”

I picked up the menu and glanced around the dining room. There were people dressed in regular clothes and a few people—men and women and each accompanied by someone in regular clothes—dressed like tweens, kids, and even a couple as babies. Those two sat in adult-sized highchairs.

I forced myself not to stare and leaned in close so I could whisper to Vic. “I don’t have a problem with Littles,” I said. “Live and let live. It’s not really much different than furries or cosplayers, just… not publicly accepted like those tend to be. But I’m going to tell you right now that it’s not my thing, okay?”

He chuckled. “Not my thing either, don’t worry.”

Unlike some people in my profession, as long as an adult activity was enthusiastically consented to by all parties involved, and they were all adults, and no one was getting harmed, I didn’t care if someone dressed up like a refrigerator and shoved a banana up their ass and called themselves Joan of Arc while tap-dancing on a table. I didn’t have to “understand” a thing I wasn’t into to accept the validity of that activity to other people.

Take skydiving, for example. I think people who do it for “fun” are out of their goddamned minds, but I don’t have to agree with it to acknowledge it’s a valid activity to them and brings them enjoyment in some fashion.

Just don’t make me do it and everything’s cool.

I sat back and perused the menu, determined to thoroughly indulge myself. I normally wasn’t much of a breakfast person unless it happened during one of my interludes with Vic. In the morning, I normally drank two or three cups of coffee and grabbed a cheese stick, or nuked two frozen sausage patties, or something similarly quick and easy. My lunches were usually larger, followed by a slimmed down dinner, unless I was going out with friends. There were days all I ate was lunch because I got wrapped up with work, student consults, or researching and writing my book.

When I go to my parents’ house, or out to eat with them, I rarely eat during the day because I know Mom will make sure I don’t leave until I’ve stuffed myself to her satisfaction. And if it was a time when Leo and Jordan were visiting—before all of this, obviously—she usually went overboard preparing Jordan’s favorite dishes straight out of his beloved grandmother’s cookbook that Leo had sent a copy of to Mom years ago ahead of the first time Leo brought him home to meet us.

I’ve never obsessed over my weight. I’ve always managed to balance walking or jogging or hiking with my love of food to stay on the fluffier end of healthy. When my previous doctor insisted—without sending me to radiology—that the new and persistent pain in my knee was due to twenty-five extra pounds he considered offensive to my frame, I walked out and found a new doctor the next day.

She immediately sent me for an MRI and discovered I’d torn a tendon during a hike the previous weekend.

One outpatient orthopedic surgery later, I healed quickly and resisted my mother’s urgings to sue my previous doctor for malpractice.

Wasn’t worth it.

Especially when the head of the guy’s practice was Brian’s nephew, and all I had to do was complain in Brian’s presence and smile with satisfaction a week later when Brian gleefully told me the guy’d been fired.

“What are you thinking of ordering?” Vic asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

“Trying to decide what decadent breakfast treat I want.” I glanced at him over the top of my menu. “Unless that’s something you need to dictate for me?”

I thought that would earn me a smile but instead he set his menu down, hooked a finger over the top edge of mine, and gently pulled it down to force me to look at him.

“We haven’t had those conversations yet,” he softly said. “If you’re saying you want me to choose for you, please say that .”

“I was trying to be playful,” I mumbled, tugging my menu free and returning to it so I could hide behind it.

He once again pulled my menu down, meeting my gaze. “Kayley, I need you to understand that whatever we agree on regarding a power-exchange dynamic, it has to be something mutually satisfying. Please don’t start acting passive-aggressive now when you never have before.”

I laid my menu on the table and stared back at him. “I was joking , Vic. That wasn’t me being passive-aggressive. That was me trying to be funny in a way you’ve laughed at a hundred times before. Did us walking through the doors of this place deactivate your humor filter?”

He studied me for a moment before nodding. “Sorry, baby.” He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Duly noted. I just don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”

“Believe me, I’ll tell you if I feel that way.” My stomach picked that moment to loudly grumble, making him smile. “So can we go ahead and order?” I asked. “ Sir ?”

Yes, I threw more than a little snark into that last word.

He sat back, shaking his head in amusement. “Get whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“I’m… stuffed.” I surveyed the remains of my meal. I hoped Vic didn’t want to make love again right now because I didn’t think I could do anything but maybe succumb to a pancake coma.

When I’d had trouble deciding what to order, the server helpfully pointed out an option I’d missed that allowed me to order small portions of several items, so that’s what I’d done. Crepes, french toast, several varieties of flavored dollar-sized pancakes—and more.

Vic ordered after me and I noted how he downsized what I’d normally expect of him.

Smart move on his part because he helped me finish mine.

“What do you feel like doing now?” Vic asked after glancing at his watch. “We have a lot of time before we meet Derek.”

“Can we just look around the place?” I asked. “It was so late and I was so fried last night I really didn’t take anything in.”

“Sure.”

Holding my hand, Vic led the way from the cafe and headed to the store on the far end of the lobby, near the check-in desk.

“It sure offers a lot of… variety,” I said as I tried to process. There was everything from western wear, to toys, to adult-sized Littles’ outfits, to adult toys and implements, and everything in between.

I don’t even know how they managed to fit so much into the space and yet it still felt tidy and organized.

“Like I said, it’s a full-service resort,” Vic noted.

“Obviously.” I drifted over to the western-wear section and their selection of jeans, boots, hats, and other garments. I hadn’t brought anything that might be appropriate horse-riding attire other than jeans. Although I did have a couple of T-shirts.

Vic plucked a tan cowboy hat off a rack and plopped it onto my head. “Ooh, I like that, baby.”

I glanced into the mirror next to the rack and while I’d never worn one before, I had to admit it looked neat. The leather hatband with turquoise beads intricately woven into it gave it a feminine touch.

Except when I removed it and looked at the price tag and nearly choked.

Vic immediately took it from me and put it back on my head. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, but?—”

“Do. You. Like. It?” He said it softly, and with an arched eyebrow, and I swallowed hard as my pancake-coma pussy decided she wasn’t as tired as the rest of me and splooshed a little.

“Yes.”

He smiled. “Then we’ll get it. My treat. I think it looks great on you. And if we’re going riding, you want a hat because of the sun.”

I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t win this argument. “All right. Thank you.”

He leaned in and nuzzled his nose against mine. “Was that so hard, baby?” he whispered.

My traitorous cooter clenched again and might have actually whimpered. “No, but you know how I feel about paying my own way.”

“Yes, but this is your birthday. If it was out of my range, I wouldn’t have offered.” He brushed his lips over mine. “And I’d like the chance to spoil you rotten.” A brief scowl furrowed his brow. “I’d planned to take you bathing suit shopping at the other resort, so this’ll have to make up for it.”

“But I brought a bathing suit,” I said, reaching up to adjust the hat slightly.

“Yeah, but it isn’t one I picked out for you.” He smiled. “I’d love to see you in a bikini.”

“You’d be the only one,” I muttered as I turned toward a rack of western-style shirts.

I wasn’t prepared for his hand to shoot out and grab me by the wrist and gently tug me back to him. “Hey,” he whispered. “None of that. Okay? That wasn’t a joke and you and I both know it.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “It was a joke, but it’s the kind of joke you don’t like hearing me make about myself.” And that he usually wasn’t around to hear me make, but I wasn’t going to drop that into the conversation.

The eyebrow arched again. “And you know damned well why I don’t like hearing you say shit like that. Head-shrink thyself. That’s a slippery slope.”

I randomly said shit like that to myself all the time. Not because I felt any better or worse about my body than the average person, but because it was just… me.

Leo and I share a snarky gene, although we express it in different ways. It always confused my parents, because neither of them are like that, but Leo and I are total twins in that respect.

It was easy to forget Vic wasn’t around all the time to appreciate my self-deprecating humor as exactly that and not some serious body-image issue.

“You realize the conversation we need to have about stuff includes you lightening up about my self-snarkyness, right?” I asked.

He kissed my hand before releasing it. “And this is exactly why we need this time together.”

He talked me into several shirts, a couple of pairs of boot-cut jeans, new boots and socks to wear with them, and a waterproof duster jacket that could keep me dry on a trail ride. He’d purchased a few things for himself, too, so I didn’t feel so bad.

“You act like we’re about to risk dysentery on the Oregon Trail,” I snarked as he helped me carry everything to the check-out counter.

He grinned. “Well, at least we’ll be the best-dressed corpses out there.”

That time, he laughed with me.