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DISLOYAL

Ryther

I sigh, shutting yet another book on the spirit—very helpful for anyone wishing to take a spiritual journey to their inner self, useless to identify why my energy's weaker than ever, and incapable of matching my own strength.

I have suspicions, and I sincerely hope they're wrong.

The book joins the large pile of discarded volumes just as the doors of the library open, followed by the rush of footsteps on the wooden floor.

"You're leaving?"

I open the latest option."Currently, I'm reading."

I don't have to lift my gaze towards Loch to sense his anger. "Of all the selfish, stupid things you could do! Crow, my sister is your mate."

"Barely. I'm a crutch she's leaning on during this transition."

The irritating prince has the gall to shut my book and lean into my space threateningly. "You wouldn't dare."

I honestly didn't expect him to be so protective over his newly found sister. It's rather heartwarming, seeing another side to the trickster. I worried on Calreth's behalf in the days when he was forcing his relationship with Reina, so I appreciate his concern. That's the only reason I reply.

"My mate," I intone with a slow, definite purpose, "doesn't much care for me."

Loch simply watches me wordlessly. What could he say against that truth?

"It's quite natural for her to feel like she might need me, given how unfamiliar she is with this world," I allow. "But she'll manage. We secured her crown, and none of those who would like to murder her have the power to do so at the moment. There's no reason why I should stay."

He shakes his head in disbelief. "By all the gods, you're an idiot."

I arch an eyebrow.

"You've known each other for days. What is she supposed to feel right now? Adoration, trust, love? Those come with time. Nature has bound you to each other. You'll suffer every day you're apart, your soul unfulfilled, incomplete."

Incomplete.

That word rings a bell, at the back of my mind. I grasp its meaning all too well.

I groan, throwing my head back, suddenly so exhausted.

That's how I felt yesterday on the hunt. Like a large part of me was missing. I didn't understand, not seeing what could have changed so much in just a few days. It is obvious; I completed a mating bond.

Is it what distance between us will be like? My strength depleted, my spirit weaker than ever, heavy, useless, weak?

I need a drink.

I don't realize I said it out loud until Loch leaves, muttering under his breath, only to return with two glasses of wine, and a bottle tucked under his elbow.

He pours, then takes a seat on the other side of the table, right where his sister napped a few days ago, remaining completely silent. When my glass is empty, he pours again.

The silence isn't companionable; it's probing. He's waiting for me to fill it.

Giving any form of information to Loch feels highly unwise. He's calculating, scheming, with either blackmail material or favors owed by almost everyone on Ilvaris. But the knowledge that all his wealth, all his influence, was accumulated only to benefit his sister changes my interpretation of this man.

"She said she'd see if she could swap mates." Immediately, I add what I know Loch will tell me: "It was a joke. Offhand. But she said it. She meant it enough for those very words to cross her lips."

I need more wine. My glass isn't empty, but I top it off all the same.

Loch sighs. "She doesn't fathom our ways. That was…careless. Cruel. Awful. But not sincere."

I make myself shrug. "All other considerations aside, we do harbor a pair of deities with a million-year-old fued based ontrickery. We're safer apart."

"You're not running because it's safer. You're running because you're hurt, and you'd rather not deal with any more pain."

He softens the blow by serving me the rest of the wine.

"This isn't nearly enough alcohol for this conversation," I tell him.

Loch clacks his tongue. "You really don't know me, do you, brother?"

He opens his coat, to reveal a bottle in each of his inner pockets.

I manage a laugh.

The second bottle, we drink in relative silence. Opening the third, he tells me, "I have a suggestion, if you're willing to hear it."

I roll my eyes. "What, you didn't ply me with wine for two hours for the simple pleasure of my company?" That he had a point to make, and didn't feel like attempting it until I was more charitable was clear. "Speak."

"You could follow your plan, if you must. Return to the wild, utterly miserable, for as long as the bond allows you to stay away, then crawl on your knees to beg for a touch in a year or so. Alternatively, may I propose a little payback?"

I blink.

"You're hurt. She rejected you. I know enough of bondings to know it's a physical blow. One that can, in time, turn that kind of bond into pure venom. We've seen it with the All and Undoing. But instead of clinging to your pride and making that drop grow into an entire ocean, why not show her what she did to you? She doesn't understand, so she'll do it again until she does."

I'm at a loss for words for a whole minute. It goes against everything in me to slowly incline my head. "Whose side are you on?"

"Hers." He doesn't hesitate. "But I can admit that, in this specific case, she needs some sense shaken into her. Show her what she did to you. And then, for the love of every demon, god, and monster in the wide universe, please talk it all out. You're too old for this much angst."

I debate whether I have the energy to punch him. "You're lucky you brought that third bottle."

I think about his suggestion. In truth, I can’t even imagine making myself tell her I’d want anyone else. Tell her I’d happily give up on the woman that the universe has made for me.

I could manage to find words twisting around the truth enough to formulate something close to that lie, but I quite simply can’t make myself do it. That said, Loch’s idea isn’t without merit. She needs to comprehend what she said. If she means it? Then both of us can deal with the consequences.

“You look like you have an plan.”

I nod. “I believe I’m going to give her exactly what she asked for.”