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THE FALL

Darina

I don't beg. I certainly don't cry. Outwardly, I don't react at all, until I'm fairly certain I can talk without losing it.

From the very first moment he appeared, he's been the only thing I could rely on, the only one I felt I could trust, until Loch appeared.I've relied on him to an extent I haven't admitted to myself. I believed, wholeheartedly, that whatever danger we swam through with the court, on the other side he'd be there to help me navigate this world. That bond thing sounds like the same the mating bonds shifters, vampires, and other sups talk about back home, and I thought that meant we'd navigate all this together going forward. Maybe get to know each other, grow closer. Instead, he wants to leave.

That's fine. I didn't know him two weeks ago. I'll live. And what's more, I'll always be grateful for his help. I'm certainly not going to resent him because he doesn't want to jump into a relationship, a forever marriage with a stranger. I owe him my life. That's more than enough.

The fact that it’s there and means nothing eats my soul.

Welcome to the club, buddy.

Rather than making things more awkward than they already are, I opt to make my way back to the castle, trying not to act like a sad, rejected, dejected woman. If Ryther can be cool about this, so can I.

I clear my throat. "So how was your scary immortal being hunt?"

"Terrible. I was trounced."

I lift an eyebrow, surprised, both that he'd lose a fight and that he'd admit it.

"The eldritch are up here, in our sky, circling the shields protecting our world." He looks up to the many stars overhead, so much brighter and more numerous than what I could see back home.

I don't recognize any of the constellations, if they have such a thing.

As I stare into the darkness, my eyes seem to catch something I can't quite define, flashes of colors, shapes, energy. I've seen this. I had a dream where I saw bright flashes just like these, but from up close, on the very first night I spent in this world, before even meeting Ryther.

"To fight them, I leave my body behind, and send my consciousness up there. My spirit holds my strength, my power, everything that defines me beyond the flesh. But tonight, I felt wrong. Weak."

"What's changed?"

He shrugs and offers no reply.

We've reached the castle again, and when I enter by his side, I seem to attract more attention than I did on my way out, though I haven't switched my appearance.

"They likely think you got tired of the queen and found yourself a human chick instead," I say, trying for humor.

"Nah, the queen tired of me, replacing me with her seelie lover, haven't you heard? What's a man to do but find himself some consolation with the prettiest woman here."

I snort. I have no clue where Valdred is, and I don't care. In fact, I feel some relief that our tactic from last night seems to have worked.

When we reach the royal quarters again, I tell him to take the room, walking to my sister's instead. After all, we don't have a babysitter tonight, we're not supposed to sleep alone together. Frankly, after our chat, I'll avoid sleeping with him at all if I can. I'm far too emotionally involved, and the last thing I need is to cling to him more.

Rain's asleep on her bed. There's no sign of Rachel, but there will be plenty of room for her if she wishes to join us.

I stare at the heavy curtains all day, restless, empty, hurt, and confused.

I truly believed we'd have forever. Which is stupid. I don't even believe in relationships or monogamy. I decided that wasn't for me ages ago. I purposely dated men for months, in order to prove to my sister that relationships weren't for me. Now, I'm tossing around words like forever, and so sad that the complete stranger I believed wanted that too turned out to not be that into me.

Wake up, Darina. You have much bigger problems.

Or rather, go to sleep.

It's late afternoon when I finally doze off, and I wake to a piercing, shrill scream that immediately put me on my guard. I have a hand up, and purple energy shoots out of my palms before I can properly see around me.

"Holy fuck!" Rain screams, pinned against the closest wall by my wave of magic.

I wince. "Sorry. I didn't mean…sorry."

I lower my palm; to my relief, she's able to move.

"Hey, no biggie. I know accidental magic," she assures me. "Just glad I'm shielded. That would have given a regular a nasty headache at the very least."

I look at my hand, empty of the colorful mist now, but still so dangerous. I'm lucky it was Rain and not Rachel. I have to add myself to the long list of dangers my sister may not survive. Loch and Ryther's argument she should leave is sound; but what would I have left if she does?

"I heard screaming."

"That would be," the witch says primly, "because this entered the bloody room!"

She's pointing an accusatory finger at my nixie licking her massive paws. From the smell alone, I can tell whatever she's cleaning off was alive not so long ago.

"Oh. That's my familiar."

The nixie's wings twitch, a sign of annoyance, I think. Yes, I have to put up with this inadequate, fangless, clawless creature for some reason.

"Your familiar? Your familiar is a bloody saber tooth panther vulture thing? You know what's a normal familiar? A bunny. A cat. A bloody goldfish! They're supposed to be beneficial energy."

"Well," I argue reasonably, "she's a cat.Sort of."

"Her fangs are the size of my head. She looks like she ate one of your subjects."

"Hopefully it was an annoying one."

Eying the cat doubtfully, Rain returns to the bed, half hiding behind me.

"She won't eat you. I think."

Again, the nixie stares at me.

I might.

Do not eat my friend.

I could. She looks tasty.

Please?

Pfft.

The cat resumes her paw licking.

"You really do communicate," Rain marvels.

"I think? I mean, it's hard to tell. I don't always hear a proper word."

She nods sagely. "It'll come with time. I don't have a familiar yet, but from what I understand, the bond grows with trust on both sides. I don't want anything half as terrifying, but I must admit I'm jealous. I've always wanted one. What's her name?"

I look at the creature dumbly. It never occurred to me to name her. She's no pet. Does she have a name, though?

"Not sure."

Rain switches to teacher mode, nodding. "That's one of the first things you should do to bond. Choose a name to call her. If she accepts it, answers to it, you'll become much closer."

"Most house cats don't even answer to their names. She looks like she might bite if I try to call her."

That's because I'll do it. I'm not a hound.

"But wouldn't you like a name?" I argue out loud. "Something pretty." Her whiskers twitch. "And fierce. That would make your enemies tremble at the very sound?"Her ears prick at each word.

Such as?

My mind races. I built it up so much, now I need something fitting. I glare at Rain."This was your dumb idea. We're taking suggestions now."

"Fangs?" she suggests.

The nixie's teeth flash in answer. Definitely not.

"Luna?"

Oh, please.

I don't think cats can roll their eyes, but she comes very close.

"Furia." The word’s out before I will it to. "After the Furies, or Erinyes. They're pitiless instruments of fate. They hunt down and torment those guilty of the vilest of sins. They never give up. And they never miss."

Nixies, as it turns out, can purr.

This time it's not my own voice in my mind interpreting what she means. A low, growly, somewhat seductive timbre resounds.

That's acceptable.

And now, I see more. A powerful run through the land, a flight over dark sky, the power of the wind pushing under her velvety wings.

And a memory, singular and at the forefront of her mind. In this visual, she was in the air, but bundled against safe, familiar fur, comforting smells all around. Her mother and siblings. Family. And then, something flashed in the air, like lightning, throwing the powerful beast off course.

And a fall, down, down, down, into dark, empty water, and cold loneliness.

She'd been alone since then, dragging herself to shore exhausted, almost dead. Her first prey all evaded her. She would have starved.

"There, there little one."

I see a face. It's mine, and it isn't. The hair is black as night, the eyes, empty.

"Feast."

No, this wasn't me. I don't sound so cold, and calculating. I could never have touched her trusting, loving head, and said, "You will sleep now, for many years. Fear not, little friend. You'll serve your purpose in time."

And then, just like an innocent, screaming newborn, this nixie was turned into stone.

Until I opened the castle up again, awakening her after a thousand years.

How confused she must have been. How lonely and afraid.

This creature, like all of us, has been manipulated by my mother from the start.

I stare at her, shocked into place.

"Furia," I repeat, softer this time.

I don't voice the vow out loud, but I mean every word all the same.

I will treat you better. Better than my mother, and better than fate.