Page 14

14

AS FAR AS I CAN THROW

Darina

“I found you a dress.” Loch waltzes into the room without knocking. “Well, I found you many dresses, but this one will do for tonight. It seems to convey the idea of ‘bow, you unworthy peasant’ quite effortlessly.”

“I’m naked,” I point out with a groan.

Apparently, today is the day for my siblings to walk into my room while I’m in various stages of undress. At least I’m no longer having sex.

Ryther’s preparing herbs for Rachel, using the various little flasks in his pockets. He’s reluctant and muttering all the way through, but he’s doing it. I was mostly regaining use of my limbs. Now, I dip under the covers, which smell of fresh roses despite the fact that these rooms were shut for a thousand years.

“Can’t say I care.” He drops a pile of dark fabric on the low, blue divan near the bed, and plops on top of it. “I found one for your sister too, but it has to be taken in, in several places. Speaking of, send her away. She’ll get herself killed. She’s already antagonized me .”

Ryther’s look is both smug and cutting. I ignore it. “She did?”

“Yes. Veiled insults. It was all very childish and immature.” He dismisses it with a wave of his hand. “The point is, she’s not very smart.”

I glower. “Rachel is extremely intelligent.”

“She’s not court smart, and has no clue of her place in this world,” Loch continues. “All of that is dangerous for her—and for you, because you care.”

I sigh. “Yeah, well, I think she’ll get the memo now. Ryther…illustrated the point.” I try not to blush. “And he’s mixing her herbs to repel enchantments.”

“Which will only embolden her if she believes herself protected. I literally could have turned her into a pig and eaten her. If I were hungrier, I might have. Do send her away. We have enough to worry over without a completely defenseless pet to care for. One with sharp teeth.”

I dislike how he’s speaking about her—despite the fact that I understand all his points. “She just lost her parents. She just lost her fiancé. She’s just been assaulted by my…” I stop there. “Whatever he is.”

I know the word. I just feel incredibly dumb saying it. We haven’t so much as talked about what we are. He’s never asked me out.

“Whatever I am?” I can’t tell if Ryther is offended or amused.

Loch sighs. “If you won’t part with her, control her. Now, let us talk about the party. We have an hour, maybe less, until the lords are awake, dressed, and ready for blood. What’s the plan?”

I mostly let them talk and listen. The lesson Ryther bestowed upon my sister was also a reminder that this is not my world, and I don’t know its rules.

My goal here is to survive. They know how to, and I trust both of them to have my continued existence farther up in their list of priority than I previously believed. Indeed, Ryther has proven it figures somewhere near top.

Their plan sounds wonderful. If only I felt confident I could execute it.

“You truly think I can do that?” I whisper, uncertainty clogging my throat.

The entire plan for the night rests on their belief I am able to wield Queen Morrigan’s power. Intellectually, I know it’s in my abilities, but I’ve never tried. I’ve refused to attempt it against any of my friends. It seems intrusive enough to do it to an enemy.

“I told you,” Ryther assures me, “it comes naturally to the folk. It’ll be easy as talking.”

“You can’t hold her hand through it,” Loch warns. “In fact, you ought to arrive separately, and stand far away.”

I don’t like the sound of that.

“What about you?” I ask Loch.

He hesitates. “I’m not part of any court, officially. As an untamed fae, no one would be completely against my seeming on your side, but you can’t seem to rely on me. You can’t seem to rely on anyone.”

It makes sense, of course. The problem is, I do. I rely on them both.

“Where are the others?”

“Valdred’s still in Bones. We exchanged notes. He said she’d be here by twilight. He’ll be of help where he can, but like Ryther, he’s too politically charged for you to lean on. You’ll have to show favoritism toward him, though.”

I sigh. “I know.”

“As for Caenan, he’s currently watching your sister as she pouts in one of the guest rooms.”

“Good.” I nod, reassured. I was going to ask him to do that in any case. “He can keep watching her.”

I don’t think I could assign the guard post to Ryther or Valdred, and Loch just said he’d happily eat her. Relva isn’t the first person who comes to mind when I think “bodyguard” either. Caenan truly is the best option.

“And Relva?”

“Preparing the revel, what else? The first altercation will be the most important one—everything else should work itself out. Call for a council at midnight. I will sit at your right, Valdred at your left; it’s important that you should keep your distance, you two.” Loch looks between Ryther and I. “There’s no hiding the marks. They’re problematic enough.”

My eyes fall on the beautiful vines, currently twirled around my hand. I clear my throat. “What are they exactly? These marks.”

“On that note, I have a pressing need to not be sitting right here any longer.” Loch waves, and makes himself scarce at record speed, calling from the door, “Enjoy your talk .”

I cringe. I made a point of asking Loch, to have a simple, impersonal explanation, rather than whatever this is going to be, but I’m left with Ryther.

We can fuck, and we can shout at each other, but talking? That’s another story.

Rather than looking at me, he studies his own marks as he speaks.

“No one knows how it works. It’s rare, this bond, and considered a blessing. The marks appear to indicate souls bonded to each other.” He sounds like he’s reciting from a textbook. “It will not be liked by the lords, because the high queen is supposed to be impartial, and how impartial can a woman bound to the unseelie king truly be? You’ll have to favor the seelie to make up for it. By sheer chance, the seelie way seems to be your natural disposition.”

“So, we’re…bonded,” I conclude, cutting through all the words to get straight to the bone.

He takes a while before inclining his head, not voicing his concurrence.

“And you’re not happy about it,” I glean.

He hesitate before replying, the way the fae seems to do whenever they wish they could outright lie, but have to find words to twist instead. “It came about in a strange way. You’re meant to accept the bond. You weren’t even conscious. I believed it developed because your soul latched on to this world once it saw a way to hold on. It’s still rather unfortunate. We’re bound for life, and likely after, and you never had a say.”

“Nor did you,” I reply after a beat.

He could save me, or let me die; and he’s already made it clear he believes my being alive is in his interest.

Ryther makes no answer, though those eyes remain on me, unflinching. Uncomfortable. I look away first.

Fantastic. I’m basically married, and he feels trapped into it. Just what I wanted.

* * *

I don’t think Rachel needed to pout as much as rage, hug herself, and cement her absolute hatred for Ryther, but once I’m dressed in the dark velvet and leather gown Loch found me, I seek her out, taking her altered gown with me.

I’m relieved she’s not crying, and unsurprised she’s glaring.

“What that guy did to me was fucked up,” she seethes. “He’s a pig.”

I sigh. “I told you what this place was like. He was making a point. You’re not safe here.”

“He assaulted me!”

“He didn’t touch you; nor did he look at you. He was literally just showing you a tiny glimpse of you could go through if you stayed. Would you have taken any warning seriously without that demonstration? Would you have believed someone can make you do something like that?”

She narrows her eyes.

“It would be safer for you to go.”

“I’m not leaving you alone with all those assholes,” she snaps, exactly as I expected. “And what if I return home and they find me anyway? It’s not like San Francisco was safe yesterday.”

All arguments I was prepared for—arguments I made myself. “I figured you’d say as much. You’ll have a guard—here or there. And there are ways to protect yourself against what Ryther did. He mixed you herbs.” I hand her the pouch. “You’ll have to wear your panties inside out—or your socks. Preferably both. Something touching your skin. But Rachel, if you lose any of those defenses, you will be vulnerable. Making you do something isn’t the only thing they could do. They could transform you. Hurt you.”

“Anyone can hurt anyone. On Earth, all they need is a knife or a gun, or just being stronger.”

“The difference is, here, they’ll want to hurt you.”

“All of them?” she challenges.

I don’t know how to answer that. I’m not sure every fae hates mortals, or sees them as weaker playthings. I think of Cissa, back in Night Hall. She’s…kind? I’ve never seen her being mean or awful to anyone; not just myself, but Rain, too.

“It’s all new to me too. I think the fae could be just like people; everyone is different, wouldn’t you say? There are evil humans, and plain horrible people, as well as nice, even good mortals, wouldn’t you say? But the fae…I don’t believe they see mortals as their equals .”

She huffs. “Like I said. Assholes.”

“They…” I catch myself. “ We can live for hundreds, thousands of years. Mortals are only alive for decade. I think most fae just see them as cute, entertaining, but irrelevant in the great scheme of things. Temporary. Like pretty, ephemeral butterflies.”

“That’s complete bullshit. They might live longer, but what makes them better than any of us?”

I don’t want to get into that can of worm, and it’s beside the point.

“Look, let’s not make a decision this very second. At the moment, I’m putting out the various fires set around us. But eventually, you’ll have—we’ll both have—to decide what to do with our lives.”

“Aren’t you a queen? What you’re going to do seems pretty clear.”

“Does it?” I have no clue what it means to be high queen.

Those people already have governments—those courts—taking care of the everyday ruling of this place, don’t they? I can’t sit around and look pretty my whole life. As of right now, I want to keep my head, and that means proving my place is at the top of the food chain. But after? I have no idea.

Before Rachel can offer her opinion, or some platitude, I hand her the gown. “For tonight. Loch found it in the old queen’s things, and had it altered so it would fit you.”

It’s pink and pretty, but it’ll clash with her hair. I wonder if Loch chose it on purpose because of that.

“The old queen…your mother.”

I grimace at that word. My mother isn’t Queen Morrigan. My mother was human, and she’s dead.

I clear my throat, not wanting to get her upset all over by bringing up our parents. “I quite enjoyed you and Rain fighting over me. Don’t do it with Loch.”

Her jaw tightens. “You think he’d hurt me?”

“I think…” I decide to be more honest that I normally would. “You enjoyed quarreling with a sup, in full knowledge that they wouldn’t use their power over you back home. There are laws in place to protect you on Earth. There aren’t any here. They could command you with a single word. I don’t think Loch would hurt you.” For my sake, not hers. “But him not wishing to protect you could still be deadly. I got enslaved because of a ‘thanks.’ And I still don’t know all the rules. Don’t get on the bad side of someone like him, Rachel.”

Slowly, she nods.

“I’ll leave you to get changed. Caenan will take you to the revel. I have to arrive later, and alone.”

The closer we seem, the more vulnerable she will be.

I have to hold everyone I care about as far away as I can bear to keep them.