Page 5 of Kingpin's Nanny

I’ve never believed in a god, but it’s clear now that if there is one, he’s a sadistic bastard with a sense of humour worthy of the London Mafia Syndicate.

“Come.” I spin and pace away with long strides. I don’t check if she’s following, but there’s the tap of her little feet behind me. I take her through to my office and when I settle into my black leather chair, I push it from the desk so there is even more space between us.

I think if I ever touched her, I’d never be able to stop. That thought echoes uncomfortably in my head as Bella Harlow, my new obsession, stands before me, hands clasped neatly.

There’s a beat of silence.

Professional distance. That’s what I need. She’s going to be my employee, I need to talk to her about work. So I do. A man who sounds like me in a very bad mood barks out details about Ivy and myself, and the role Bella will have as nanny.

She smiles and nods eagerly, responding with the energy of a golden retriever puppy.

“That’s great,” she says when I’ve finished explaining there’s a full-time chef who makes nutritionally balanced meals and snacks. “And you? Are you around much?”

It’s going to be hell to stay away. I fold my arms. “I run the King’s Cross mafia, including the rail transport system out of London to the North.”

“Oh. So you’re busy.” Am I imagining the flicker of disappointment as she says that?

“Yes. I won’t have time to supervise you.” I mustn’t. There’s a pause and then I can’t help it. I have to know more about her.

“Tell me about yourself,” I snarl.

“I’ve been a nanny since I was sixteen.” She smiles wistfully, seemingly ignoring my foul mood. “I’ve looked after both girls and boys, and I’m fully qualified. I’m sorry I don’t have a printed copy of my CV, but I guess the agency sent it over?”

No, not that.Tell me what you like. What could I buy you that would make you smile at me not as your prospective employer, but as your lover. Do you drink coffee or tea in the morning? Tell me whether you feel anything when you look at me. Tell me if you think you could.

“Why were you early?” I bite out, instead of asking her to crack open her pretty head and let me see how she works. I’d like to understand all the things that would give her pleasure, then provide them each day, on tap.

She swallows and fear slides over her face, there and gone in a moment.

“What was that about?”

“What?” She’s bright and cheerful again.

“That expression.” I saw it, I’m sure. And it wasn’t me. This girl isn’t afraid of me. She didn’t respond like that when I said who I was, but the reason she was early scares her, and I’m goingto find out what it is. I’m not ignoring a flicker of fear from a vulnerable woman this time.

“It was nothing!”

Something snaps inside me. I’m around the desk and towering over her in a second. “Don’t lie to me. You were afraid.”

She trembles, her eyes big as dinner plates.

And FUCK. She’smorescared now.

I take a deliberate step backwards and try to control the memories. Anger and regret boil inside me. Those times that my sister, Natalia, told me that nothing was wrong. The moments when she didn’t manage to hide her fear, just for a split second, and I saw it, but I didn’t understand it was fear of Bradford. I thought it was just fear of mafia life, or a mother’s concern for her child.

I didn’t know that it was fear of her husband. I didn’t realise, and she didn’t tell me, andI should have known. I should have protected her.

The fact I killed that cowardly bastard afterwards has never been enough. I strung Bradford upside down from the rafters of one of the King’s Cross train sheds and set him on fire. It was wire around his foot, so he didn’t fall and die quickly. He suffered, and I watched every second until he was more bones than man.

His skeleton still hangs there as a reminder to all the King’s Cross employees of what happens to people who harm those I love.

She blinks, and I remember that I’m a terrifying, grumpy kingpin. No lightness. No affection. I don’t smile and I don’t let anyone into my life. I do not care.

Except that right now, Ivy needs a nanny, and I care for my own.

“Why did you quit your last position?” I try again with a different tack.

“They didn’t need me anymore, and I had to leave immediately. That’s why I’m early,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I didn’t want to be late, and I didn’t have anywhere to go.”