Page 14 of Kingpin's Nanny

“Then why didn’t you turn up for the livestream?” she asks.

Because I couldn’t. However much I craved it.

“You must have wanted to watch.” She looks at me intently, as though she could figure this out through the screen. “You knew you’d be alone, and wanted company?”

I’m hit in the chest again. She doesn’t understand the depths of how I needher. The issue is the chasm between us. Not just this evening when I’m separated by a floor and so much understanding from the woman I love beyond anything, but also for all the time before I knew her, when I was aware there was something missing from my life and didn’t know what. From the last six months that I wish could have been different, and worst of all, for the risk she’s leading me towards that might mean I lose her forever.

Yes, I suppose it was. I’m alone, and I purchased your livestream because I thought I’d be less alone watching you.

Plus, if anyone else saw her perfect body on a livestream I’d get no work done until February as I tracked them all down and arranged for their deaths. Which isn’t very Christmasy, even by my standards.

“We could keep each other company?” she suggests, almost shyly. “I’d like it if you watched me.”

My mouth goes dry as she slowly pulls her T-shirt over her head. She looks right into the camera, straight into my eyes, and smiles as she rubs her nipples to points.

“Are you…” She pauses and gives a breathy little sigh. Then bites her lip. “Are you hard?”

Yes.

I can’t lie to her now, it seems. I’m always hard for Bella. And Bella putting on a show for me? You couldn’t keep my cock down with three train locomotives and a dozen carriages.

“I want to see.” The sparkle is back in her eyes.

I hate that I’m going to spoil that as I begin to type a response. It’s a no, of course it’s a no.

“Please. Please, I really need to see that someone wants me. That I’m doing it right.”

What do you mean, doing it right?

“Well…” She squirms. “The man I want never responds. I try to flirt with him…”

Unbidden, the time in the kitchen when she playfully flicked a slice of strawberry at me repeats in my mind. She was sosweet and precious and sexy in her little summer dress. I wanted nothing more than to defile her in it. Grab her hips, turn her around, pull down her knickers and bend her over the countertop, then fuck her little tight cunt hard until I came right up against her womb and filled her up. I wanted to take her raw and breed her, and see how pretty she was swollen with my baby afterwards. That was what I imagined when I jerked myself harshly off after I walked away without a word.

If I’d said anything, I was certain she would have heard the gravel of desire in my throat.

“Thing is,” she adds, twisting a lock of hair around her finger and licking her lips nervously. “I’m a virgin.”

The blood stills in my veins.

A virgin. My perfect Bella is untouched.

“Until I met this man, I’ve never wanted to have sex. And now I have all thesefeelings. I have all this…” She presses her thighs together. “And he doesn’t want me.”

I want her.

“I thought being a camgirl would help me get over him. Reclaim this for myself, and be a sexy woman rather than just a…” She shakes her head and sighs. “I guess he thinks of me as a little girl.”

My poor Bella.

I don’t think of you as a little girl.

I’m far too aware that she’s a fully grown woman. That’s rather the problem.

“Then show me.” She has a determined glint in her blue eyes.

A string tightens up my chest. I can’t really do this, can I? But for her… To eradicate whichever arsehole has been making her unhappy, and to maybe get my forbidden longing for her out of my system.

I huff a cynical and slightly sad laugh to myself. That will never happen. But I could have this once. I could have a cherished memory of when shesaw me,and we indulged in this madness together. Even if she isn’t aware of who she’s doing this with.