Page 49 of Kiln Me Softly

The National Ceramics Contest was held in an exhibition centre in Mayfair, and Aiden had listened to Juniper’s complaints about it being too posh the whole way there.

With Tilly and Luc, they walked through the grand venue’s doorway and into what most potters would consider a fairy tale.

Half of the hall was dedicated to the contest entrants, where Aiden spotting the empty pedestal reserved for Juni straight away.

The other half was full of merchants behind stalls, selling everything from crafting tools to handmade goods.

Juniper gasped and almost dropped her crate of pottery in the process, causing Aiden to steady her quickly. ‘Coco’s here!’

‘ What ?’ Tilly spun on her thick platform heel to look at a pink and white stall in the corner labelled Cococeramics in swirling gold calligraphy.

On her table sat a vast array of creations, from colourful Pride mugs to abstract shapes and patterns that Aiden would have to take a closer look at, since he’d missed it in Stoke-on-Trent. ‘Oh, shit. Shit. Okay, nobody panic.’

‘Why are we panicking?’ Aiden asked.

‘They hooked up in Stoke thanks to your wingman expertise, and now I suspect Tilly is dealing with some feelings,’ provided Luc, to which Juniper nodded along in agreement.

‘Yeah, that about sums it up. Oh, and also, I want to be her when I grow up. Not because of the Tilly thing, no offence, Tilly, but because of the successful pottery business.’

‘Ouch. Kick me while I’m down,’ Tilly muttered, and then turned around right as Coco’s eyes landed on the four of them.

Aiden grinned and sent her a wave, rather proud that he’d helped get Tilly and Coco together, if only briefly.

If Tilly’s uncharacteristic shyness was anything to go by, that might change soon. She was clearly smitten.

That made two of them.

Juniper observed the entries, pale with what was obviously nerves. Aiden wished she had at least one hand free so that he could hold it, but the best he could do was take the big crate from her with a gentle tug. ‘You’ve got this. Nobody else has designed a piece like yours.’

‘That’s because nobody else had a breakdown and smashed their work,’ she replied. ‘I’m out of my depth. These all look professional, and mine…’

‘Is beautiful,’ Tilly interrupted, urging Juniper towards the white display plinths. The empty one was sign-posted with her name, proof she belonged here as much as everyone else.

‘It’s okay if I lose, yeah?’ She turned to him. ‘I mean, I’ll be fine going back to Manchester, working a job I hate, living with my parents again. Most twenty-somethings do that. Usually after they’ve gotten a degree, but I’ve never been much of a high-achiever, so—’

‘Take a breath, sweetheart.’ He placed the crate down on one of the wider surfaces and then cupped her face in his hands.

For him, he preferred not to be touched when he was anxious, but the last week of getting these pots together had shown him plenty about how best to help her when she was spiralling.

Touch, bad jokes, Cerberus visits, and reality TV.

‘You’re the most talented, capable woman I know, and if this doesn’t work, we’ll figure out another way. Together.’

‘All of us,’ Tilly said, nestling into their little support gathering. ‘We love you, Juni, and we’re here no matter what.’

‘Wow. You are all so mushy these days,’ Luc commented, but joined nevertheless.

‘Even if I have to live in a cardboard box to stay at RACA?’

‘Even if I have to build a bunker under my bed for you and Cerberus.’ Tilly tugged Juniper’s hair playfully. ‘Besides, I just saw an entire display of phallic sculptures in the corner. You were just ahead of your time!’

Juniper choked on a laugh and hugged her tight. ‘I love you. I love all of you.’

Aiden stepped back to let them have their moment, though not without a pang of envy. He wished she could say that so easily when it was just the two of them. Of course, he knew it was different. Friendship wasn’t quite as complicated as what they shared, and he would never pressure her, but…

But he loved her, and he knew deep down she felt the same, and one of these days, they both deserved for it to come easier, especially after all they’d been through.

‘Do you mind if you don’t look at everything until the showing later?

I sort of want it to be a nice little moment.

’ The question was aimed more at him, and he relented after a curious glimpse at her work.

He’d seen most of it already, though once she’d gotten the hang of yobitsugi, repairing her pots with the pieces she’d scavenged from Caffé Verde, she’d been insistent that she do some parts alone.

Since the whole point was making it feel like hers again, he was more than happy to let her.

‘Of course. How about I return to wingman duties? C’mon, Tilly.’

With a groan from Tilly, they left Juniper to set up alone, where he knew she was most comfortable even now.

Besides, the stalls on the other side were a much-needed reminder of why he loved art so much, colours and forms calling to him.

His inspiration was slowly coming back, but he had so much left to learn.

So much he hoped he and Juniper could discover together.

Waiting for Delia Melrose and her two fellow judges to assess each contest piece dragged on for hours, to the point where Aiden almost felt as unsettled as Juniper.

They went to get some air in the nearby park when she started to get overwhelmed, and he distracted her with a blueberry muffin and spiced latte to keep them warm in the March frost. Despite all of the nerves, he had a feeling he might look back on it as his favourite day with her yet.

All of her reservations with him were finally gone.

She’d opened up like the early spring blossoms, finally letting him see all of her.

Even her fears and self-criticisms. Even her fondness for him.

If that meant they were better off this way, friends before lovers, he would take it.

Of course he wanted all of her, but getting to be part of this day, part of her life, was better than the alternative.

He’d always settle for whatever she was willing to give.

When they returned, Tilly shared the news that the winner was to be announced in fifteen minutes.

‘Well, then, I suppose it’s time for you to see my pieces properly.

C’mon.’ She took Aiden’s hand and motioned for him, Tilly, and Luc to follow her back to her display.

He’d already known that they were rich in colour and abstract in shape, but it was the information card in front that caught his eye now.

Like the other contestants, Juniper had handwritten the title of her piece along with information about what it meant to her beneath.

Rebuilt

This work began as a traditional Nordic-patterned tea set made from porcelain that I destroyed in a moment of despair.

I had tried too hard to design something I believed other people wanted to see, and had failed my own individuality and passion for the craft in the process.

So, when I picked up the pieces, it became a symbol of so much more, and wouldn’t have existed if I didn’t have a network of people who have supported me through a difficult time.

That’s why, beyond fixing the cracks with the Japanese arts of kintsugi and yobitsugi, I incorporated pieces of them into my work.

The rough, textured coils of my vessels represent yarn as a tribute to my best friend’s passion for crochet.

The flowing shapes and vibrant greens of my linked set of vases show a place a dear friend told me about once: a waterfall in France where they feel most at peace.

The bookends, one a hamster and one a toadstool, are inspired by my own small pet, who has made my journey a less lonely one.

And my bowl has been placed inside two sculpted pairs of overlapping clay hands as a symbol of my healing process.

Putting myself back together has been a group effort, but I have found an intimate, supportive love to lean on through it all – even when I’ve been reluctant to let it in.

As Aiden tried to process the words, Luc ran a gentle finger over the red bridge that linked together a pair of vases. ‘This looks just like Buttes Chaumont,’ they whispered.

Juniper nodded with a wobbly smile. ‘You told me in Stoke-on-Trent that it was the place you used to visit to escape the city, something that’s hard to do here, so…’

‘Juni.’ Tears shimmered in Tilly’s dark eyes as she admired the yarn-like textures of her candle holders. They’d been glazed in sunset yellows and oranges, mimicking the brightness Tilly radiated as well as the colours she wore most often. ‘These are so beautiful.’

‘You’ve been such a good friend to me, Till,’ Juni replied. ‘Even when I snotted all over your clothes and broke your plates.’

‘I forgave you for that almost right away, you plonker.’ Tilly hugged her, then went back to admiring Juniper’s work.

She looked at Aiden expectantly, and he wished he could find something to say that would convey just how beautiful the hands moulding the bowl were.

She’d even added a freckle of brown on one of the knuckles, just like his.

It reminded him immediately of the first time they’d thrown together, hands intertwining so that he hadn’t been able to tell which belonged to him and which belonged to her.

That moment had changed so much between them.

‘I couldn’t think of a better way to tell you,’ she said, dipping her chin nervously.

‘Tell me what?’

‘That I love you, too. That I couldn’t have done any of this without you. That I’m sorry I’m stubborn and difficult and—’