Page 69 of Killer Notes
“I should have been here. But that son—”
“Tobias,” I beg. “This isn’t your fault.”
He steps into the room, leaving mere inches of space between us. But it might as well be miles.
“Are you listening to me?” I wrap both hands around the back of his neck and tug him down to me. Face to face. “Tobias, this isn’t your fault.”
He nods slightly.
“No. I need words,” I demand quietly.
He threads his arms under mine and lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist. “Yes,” he finally says into the crook of my neck.
I pull back slightly, so we’re eye to eye. We stand there in silence lost in each other for who knows how long. Then the words slip right out, like I’ve turned off any filter or controller of my feelings. “I love you.”
His eyes widen, his arms loosens, but he doesn’t say a word.
“I know it’s so fast, and I don’t know how or why but I do. I love you, Tobias Grant. I just wanted to you to know that. If you don’t feel the same way, I’m okay with that.”
Please say something.Please say you do, too.
But I go on. “And if nothing comes of this—whatever this is between us—”
I don’t get a chance to finish before Tobias lets me go.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
Tobias
He loves me. Danny Raven Wells says he loves me... But then why can’t I say it back?
Do I feel the same way? Abso-fucking-lutely. But saying those words back is difficult. Especially when I have been royally screwed by different men in my past, especially by my ex.
Yeah, I know it’s been two years. I should be over it by now, but something is holding me back. Is it fear of commitment? I can’t break down what’s in my head. Every time I open my mouth to say those words to Danny, nothing comes out.
So I stand there, with Danny in front of me, all mute. The precious moment of bliss between us quickly spirals into silence. His face crumbles, and his eyes drop to the ground. I open my mouth to talk—to say anything to return the happiness to Danny’s face, and still nothing comes out of my mouth.
Danny slowly backs away. “I’m… sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I mean I love that you were here to save me from Siles, and I appreciate it. And I can’t help my feelings. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” He backs away more. Each step back is like a knife slicing into me.
“Danny?” Connor rushes inside the room. By this point, Danny is an arm’s length away from me.
“I need a drink,” Danny says. “Come with me?” That is directed to Connor, which burns like I’ve been doused with acid.
“Okay. The guys are outside waiting,” the drummer says as he pulls his best friend into his arms.
Without another word, Danny and Connor leave the bedroom, and where I remain standing there like an asshole. My chest has a hollowed out ache from the absence of Danny, who has my heart.
“Tobias.” I hear Dean call my name. Ignoring the heavy regret circling like a vulture, I heave out a breath, and leave the haven of the bedroom and the memories of Danny’s declaration.
I stop at the threshold of the living area, where Dean and John have Siles in one of the chairs, his hands at his back, zip tied.
“You motherfuckers are in so much trouble. You wait until the cops and my lawyer find out what you’re doing to me. I have rights and I will own all your asses,” Siles shouts and jerks at his plastic bindings.
“Mr. Barrett, we have every right to detain you. You entered this bus without permission from the band, the manager or us. We also know you didn’t get consent from Mr. Wells to join him in bed. That is why you are here, to explain yourself before we call the police, who you’re so insistent be here.” Dean lays it out as plainly as possible, but from the sneer on Siles’s face, the asshole isn’t taking in the ramifications of his illegal entry or the assault.
“I was invited,” Siles hisses.
“Lie,” I counter in a growl.