Page 33 of Killer Notes

“Do you get me, Danny?” he repeats.

I snap my attention to his harsh glare. “I got you.” I salute him and stalk off toward the bedroom, forgetting all about my hunger for food. And for Tobias.

I slam the door and lock it. Of all the… I can’t even think with all the fury swirling inside me. Forget about the sexual frustration, I’m so far removed with those feelings now.

CHAPTERELEVEN

Danny

I hate Tobias Grant. He basically called me a whore and a princess in the same breath.

You’re a jag-off, Tobias. I’m no fucking princess, or a whore!I scream in my head before picking up a throw pillow from the bed and chucking it against the wall.

Shit.

I have never been so infuriated in all my life, except for those rare moments where… No. Where Siles Barrett is concerned, I want to forget that part of my life ever existed.

My ass hits the floor as the torrent of emotions pools into a mass of hatred and shame at the back of my throat. My eyes fill with tears as humiliation begins to curdle in my gut.

Why would Tobias bring up Siles? That prick hasn’t been in my life for years. Unless he thinks… I shake my head. Siles is too full of himself to be a stalker—my stalker. He wouldn’t put in the time or the effort.

I pick up the gray pillow I threw, tuck it under my chin, and hug it to my chest.

Wishing I could call Connor or any one of my friends, I sigh, knowing I can’t. I’m alone in this.

I tip my head back and wipe the tears away.

As painful as it may be to relive those moments, I grudgingly admit that Tobias has the right to know. He needs to know my past to eliminate any possible suspects, and that includes Siles. I just don’t want Tobias to look at me differently when he finds out what Siles put me through for years, all for the sake of love. And when we did separate, it was in the most awful way.

Jesus. Even after all this time, I’m still so sensitive talking about him. But I know I have to tell Tobias.

After a good ten minutes pass, I finally get a grip on my emotions and ponder on how to explain about Siles Barrett.

Just…

Like lightning striking a tree, the realization of my feelings for my bodyguard hits me. More than just sexual attraction, I like the man for his values, his steadfastness, and his dedication to the job. And if I can admit it, his stubborn determination to drive me crazy.

If Tobias ever finds out that I’m attracted to him, exposing my feelings will be nothing but a disaster.

Leave it to me to fall for a guy that’s unattainable.

Maybe the reason why I’m attracted to the man is because I’ve been single for a long while. After the abuse from Siles, I prefer it. I have the band, but that’s different. My friends will always be my friends. But a lover? Someone I can share a life with? That someone special I’ve never earnestly had in my life—that someone who truly understands me.

Aside from the friendships, and the loneliness I admit to feeling, there’s the intimacy I crave. I miss being touched, cuddled, spooned. I need that. I want that. But I won’t be getting it from Tobias.

I take a deep cleansing breath, stand, and pull up my big boy panties. I might not ever be able to do wicked things with Tobias. However, I can apologize for my behavior and answer any questions he has about Siles. But this calls for something stronger—a gloss that will give me courage.

I grab my other lip bag and pull out the tube of raspberry gloss. After I layer on a thorough coat, I leave the bedroom feeling better.

The moment I enter the great room, I see my bodyguard through the glass slider. He’s standing on the deck, exactly where I was appreciating the view. His attention is on the lake, with Saint at his feet.

Courage, Danny.

Tobias’s posture is relaxed, his right hand rubbing the dog’s head. I swallow down my pride and step outside, all the while trying not to appreciate the man’s assets.

I must have been staring too intently at his ass, because I don’t realize Tobias is looking at me, again. Not until he clears his throat.

Damn it. Our eyes meet for a moment, and like a coward, I look away. Running my fingers through my hair, I gather my nerve and meet his eyes. “I want to apologize for being an asshole. I know you need to know everything in order to do your job. It wasn’t my intention to leave anything out. It’s just…” I slowly drop my eyes back to the deck. “I promise from now on, I’ll tell you what you need to know.”