54

M aggie couldn’t sleep.

She felt exhausted. Drained. But every time she closed her eyes, she saw Jameson. He’d helped crack the shield she’d put around herself, then he’d walk away and let Ian step in.

That can’t have been easy.

And she couldn’t stop thinking about him . . . the things she wanted to talk to him about.

Climbing out of bed, she knew she had to see him now. She glanced at the monitor on the nightstand. Hopefully, Ian and Jack weren’t watching. They needed their sleep. She was frankly surprised that Jack had left her.

Would Ian tell Jack about her hair pulling?

Monkeyballs.

What a mess she was.

She made her way slowly down the stairs, holding on tight to the railing, her legs trembling.

Jameson was sitting with his laptop in the dining area. He looked up briefly, then did a double take.

“Maggie! How did you get down here?” He stood up and in his haste he knocked his chair over. He looked flustered and unsure as he rushed over to her.

She wasn’t used to seeing him like this and somehow, it actually made her feel better. Seeing that he was human.

He hovered around her, not touching her as she moved to the table. But he quickly slid around to pull out a chair for her.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Did Ian carry you down the stairs?” he asked, pouring her a glass of water.

She took a few sips to appease him. “Uh, no. I just, um, walked down myself.”

“Sweetheart, you need to call out for one of us. What if you’d grown dizzy on the stairs?”

“I’m fine, really. I needed to talk to you.”

“To me? Why?”

“I’m trying to find the words. There’s so much in here.” She tapped at her head. “That sometimes I can’t deal and it makes me do crazy things.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged.

“What does it make you do, Maggie?” he asked firmly as he drew his chair around to face her and sat.

“Pull my hair out.”

“Bloody hell,” he muttered. “Have you told anyone?”

“I just told Ian. And now, um, you.”

“Thank you for trusting me. That’s not something to be ashamed of. Everyone needs help at some time.

“I guess so. So you see, I’m definitely not perfect. I’m a total nutjob.”

“Stop that right now. I’m serious.”

She took in a deep breath at the command in his voice.

He took her hand in his. “What did Ian say when you talked to him about all of this?”

“He’s going to talk to Jack for me. I just . . . I couldn’t tell Jack. And Ian said that he wants me to go to one of them when I feel everything boil up . . . when it all gets too much and I have to find a . . . a release.” Shame filled her. “But I wanted to tell you as well.”

“Good. I’m glad you did. And I want you to know that you can come to me too. I’m here if you need me.”

She nodded.

“That’s not the only thing you wanted to talk about, is it?”

Maggie shrugged. Then she realized that was a cop-out. “When I overheard you the other day when I was . . . taken. You said you were talking about your ex? About how she ruined your life?”

“You want me to tell you about Elizabeth?”

“Only if you want to,” she whispered. Part of her wasn’t sure she actually wanted to know.

Elizabeth was likely smart and well-educated. Maggie doubted that she’d ever had to get a job with a family member. She was probably put-together all the time. Elizabeth wouldn’t pull out all her hair or use a scream pillow.

Or hide in bath tubs.

“My parents had an arranged marriage. Things like that aren’t talked about much. But they both came from families of good breeding, as my mother said to me. Old wealth. But the problem is that when the money started to dry up, they didn’t know how to live within their means. I didn’t realize it until I was near the end of my residency, but they were completely broke. You have to understand, I grew up attending the best schools, living in a huge mansion with servants. There were expensive cars and parties where champagne flowed. Never one sign that the coffers were dry.”

“Wow. Your parents just ignored that they had no money?”

“Oh, they had a plan, though. An arranged marriage had brought an injection of funds before. So they just figured they’d do it again.”

“Holy crap. They wanted to make you marry someone. But they couldn’t do that, right?”

“I don’t get along with my parents. They’ve always been cold, unfeeling people who only thought of their reputation. My best friend was the son of the woman who cleaned for us. He and I were playing in the mud and my mother grew furious because I’d left my studies and went off to play with him.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but her anger wasn’t as bad as my father’s. He knew how to hit where it hurt the most. He fired my friend’s mum and I never saw him again. I ended up in boarding school a few weeks later. Which was actually the best thing to happen to me.”

“How old were you?”

“I’d just turned seven.”

“Oh, Jameson.” She covered his hand with hers. “I’m so sorry. What a terrible thing to do to a little boy.”

“You’ve got a kind heart, Maggie.” He flipped his hand so he could hold hers. “Your hand is too cold, though. Wait right there.” He got up. When he returned, he was carrying a fluffy blanket that he wrapped around her.

“Thanks.” Warmth filled her belly at his caring. “So they tried to force you into marriage?”

“Yes, they pulled a total guilt trip. How we would lose everything. Our reputation would be down the toilet. All of it. Ian, Jack, and I were close. They had just left the armed services and started working with MI6. We all wanted to share a woman. We were always better together than apart. I didn’t want anything to do with any woman my parents suggested so I gave them some money and told them no. Then three months later, my mother called to tell me that my father wasn’t well. That he’d had a heart attack.”

She gasped. “Had he?”

“Yeah. However, it wasn’t until later that I learned it wasn’t as bad as she had made out. She asked me to come see him and I did. He didn’t look well. He asked me to attend his upcoming birthday party. I stupidly agreed.”

“You wanted to be a good son.”

“I was a knob. What were they doing throwing a party when he was ill and they had no money?” He shook his head. “But I didn’t know how many birthdays he’d have left. So I took the bait. And that’s where I met her.”

“Elizabeth?”

“Yeah. She seemed perfect for me. Strong and smart. She could talk to anyone about any topic. To the outside world we looked like a power couple. She was a lawyer. Her family had money. I didn’t jump into anything immediately, of course. But then she turned up at the BDSM club I was a member of. I saw her in the ropes, and I started talking to her again. We played a few times. Went on a few dates and I started falling for her.”

“What about Ian and Jack?” she asked.

“That’s the part I’m most ashamed of. I introduced them all. Initially, she acted like she was into the three of us. I was so blinded by her that it was hard to see what was really going on. Ian and Jack weren’t as into her as I thought. Jack smiled and said the right things, but barely touched her. While she and Ian clashed. She didn’t like the way he spoke or the things he did.”

“Did they not say anything to you?” she asked.

“They tried. But I thought they just needed more time to get to know her. I got angry at them for not giving her more of a chance. She even said she enjoyed regressing sometimes, which made my Daddy side happy. She let me Top her in the bedroom and out. Like I said . . . perfect for me.”

“Wait. Out of the bedroom?”

“I like control pretty much all of the time. When we were together, I would choose what she ate and wore, when she went to bed. Does that scare you?”

It should.

But it kind of intrigued her. Imagine not having to make all those decisions . . . how much space it would clear out of her head. She could focus on other things or she could simply live in the moment.

“What happened?”

“She showed her true colors when she learned the truth of my parents’ financial state. Seemed a doctor and two MI6 agents didn’t make enough for her. Her parents had mostly cut her off. Something my parents didn’t know. When I told her I couldn’t buy her the expensive car she wanted or take her on holiday for a month, she lost it. Everything came out. Turns out, she wasn’t a sub at all. Let alone a Little.”

“It was all an act?” What the hell? That bitch!

“And I fell for it. I should have listened to Jack and Ian rather than get angry at them.”

“Oh, Jameson, I’m so sorry. No wonder you find it hard to trust.”

“That isn’t everything.”

Lord. She wasn’t sure she could take much more.

“What else?”

“She had ‘evidence’ that she’d gathered. And she let it all out into the world.”

“Like what? What do you mean?”

“About my dark desires. How I was a Daddy Dom. The things I used to do to her. She spun it as though she was a victim and I was controlling her. The police interviewed me and I nearly lost my job. Thankfully, I had a number of people come forward and make statements that everything was consensual. That they’d seen her play with other people at the club. There was no evidence to say I forced her. But . . . I couldn’t stay there. Even though London is a big city, it felt like everyone knew. My parents disowned me and I moved here.”

Holy heck. Poor Jameson. Reaching out, she took hold of his hand. But he was looking over her shoulder, lost in the past.

“About three months after I arrived here, my father died of a heart attack. My mother never even bothered to tell me.”

“Oh no.” She got to her feet and threw her arms around his neck, needing to comfort him.

He lifted her into his lap. “Is this all right? I know it’s selfish of me, but can you hug me a bit longer?”

“I’ll hug you as long as you like.”

Eventually, he drew back so he could look down at her. He brushed some hair off her face. “Now you know the whole sordid, sad truth.”

“I’m so sorry, Jameson,” she whispered. “For how your parents treated you. For what she did to you. That must have felt awful.”

“Like everyone was judging me. All my life, I’ve felt that from my parents, but then it was from everywhere. I couldn’t even turn to Ian and Jack. I was just too horrified. I was lost.”

“I know what that feels like. I feel like I’ve been lost most of my life. At least until I met Jack and Ian. And you,” she said shyly, ducking her head down.

He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her face back. “I want you to know how much I care about you, precious girl. I know I haven’t really shown you that as much as I should. I was trying to ignore my feelings for you. I was scared. But I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to be someone worthy of you.”

“Jameson, you are.” Didn’t he know that? “No matter what happened in the past, you’re worthy. You’re amazing. Smart and kind and gorgeous.”

“Thank you for saying that. But I think I still have a way to go. Would you consider spending time with me?”

“Yes. I’d love that.”

“Maggie!” Ian’s voice roared at her. Then she heard his footsteps as he thundered down the stairs.

“Uh-oh,” she muttered as he stormed into the dining area. He paused as he took them in.

Okay, she should probably hop off Jameson’s lap. But the doctor just tightened his hold on her hips as she went to move.

“Oh,” Ian said, deflating. “Sorry. I went into your bedroom and saw you gone. And you hadn’t called for one of us.” He frowned at Jameson. “You got her out of bed and carried her down here? Why?”

“Um, he didn’t,” she confessed. “I came down here by myself.”

“You did what? Maggie! You can’t be doing that.” Ian took a step toward her, only to have an arm slip around Ian’s neck from behind and drag him back, pushing him against the wall.

Her heart pounded and she tried to get off Jameson’s lap again.

Jack had Ian pinned to the wall. He might hurt him!

“Let me go!” she cried.

“No, it’s not safe,” Jameson told her. “You need to stay here.”

“Let me go!” she demanded.

“Let her go,” Jack snarled. “Now!”

“I’m safe with him,” she told Jameson. “Jack would never hurt me.”

Jameson groaned. “If you get hurt, I’m gonna spank your ass.”

Yikes.

Her body kind of liked that idea.

She was in trouble.

“Who drugged me? Someone fucking must have!” Jack growled.

Maggie gave Jameson a wide-eyed look.

He grimaced and nodded. “That was me.”

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Jack snarled.

Uh-oh. She needed to calm him down.

This time, as Maggie climbed off Jameson’s lap, he let her. She slowly approached Jack. Much like you might a dangerous animal.

“Jack? Jackie? Sir Daddy?”

He took in a deep breath.

“Come here. Come to me,” she crooned.

Jack shook his head. “Have to stay on guard. Protect you.”

She put her hand on his back. He wasn’t choking Ian. And surprisingly, Ian was staying still and not fighting back. Maybe because they all knew how close to the edge of losing control Jack was.

“Jack, you’ve done a great job of protecting me. But now, we need to take care of you.”

He shook his head. “Still have to watch you. All the time. Jameson drugged me!”

“You needed sleep,” Jameson said. “You can’t take care of Maggie if you’re sleep-deprived.”

“I can’t fall asleep!” Jack yelled.

“Let go of Ian, Jack. I’m here. I’m fine.” Her heart wept for him. Her poor Jack.

He let Ian go and spun toward her, lifting her into his arms. “Got to watch you. Keep you safe. Day and night.”

A thought occurred to her. “Do you watch me at night? Do you watch me sleep, Jack?” Because she’d been having those weird feelings of being watched again.

“Yes.”

“Even before I was taken?” she asked, leaning back to peer up at him.

“I was keeping you safe.”

God, he looked terrible. And any desire to scold him dried on her tongue. She laid her head on his chest. I’m always safe with you, Jack. It wasn’t your fault I was taken.”

“Have to watch you. Keep you safe.”

Shit. He wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Jack, you need to sleep. Please. Come nap with me. I need you.”

“You need me?”

“I need you. Take me upstairs. I want to nap. With you.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist as she rested in his arms. Her thumb moved into her mouth as she sighed in contentment. He held her against him with one hand. The other hand lightly patted her bottom.

She loved that feeling.

“Shh. Shh. Shh,” he murmured to her. “You’re here with me. Sorry about that, Ian.”

“No apology needed. Go take care of our girl.”

Jack carried her up the stairs and into her room. “Do you need to go potty?”

“Urgh, do we have to call it a potty?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, I gots to go. I don’t need you to stay with me, though,” she told him firmly.

“I’m staying with you. I can’t leave you alone.”

“Jack, no one is going to take me. You are keeping me safe.”

“Got cameras everywhere, but they aren’t enough. I have to be with you.”

“Cameras everywhere?” she asked. “In here?”

“Yes.”

“Jack, that’s crazy.”

“Have to guard you. I can’t let you be taken again.” He set her down in front of the toilet.

Then he crouched and drew off her pajama bottoms and knickers. She could feel herself blushing. Especially, when he stood and helped her sit.

“Jack,” she murmured.

“Just let me? Please.” The please was wrenched out of him. As though he didn’t want to say it, but would do whatever was necessary to get her to agree.

“Okay, Sir Daddy.” She peed quickly and tidied herself up before he could offer to help.

He then washed her hands for her before leading her to the bed. Once she was on her side, he curled around her back, sliding one hand down under her pajama bottoms and knickers so he was cupping her pussy.

He slid a finger slowly between her lower lips. “Is this okay?”

“Y-yes,” she replied. She wasn’t sure she’d sleep this way. But she’d take it. Anything to get him to rest.

“I won’t let anything happen to you again. I swear it.”

“I know, Sir Daddy. I know you won’t.” She patted his arm lightly. “I’m safe, Jack. We’re both safe. Just relax. Let it go.”

He fell quickly asleep, and to her shock, she found herself drifting off too.