Page 33

33

L ots, apparently.

Turns out, they’d also bought her stickers, coloring books, pens, and glitter glue.

“I don’t know what to play with first!”

“I think Ziggy is cold. He needs some clothes.” Jack held him up. “He looks a bit naked, don’t you, Ziggy?”

“You’re so right. I need to dress him. Quick, let’s get some clothes. Oh my gosh! You even bought him shoes. Ziggy is very pleased.”

“I’m glad Ziggy is pleased,” Ian told her solemnly. “That’s what I was hoping for.”

She glanced up at him to see if he was being sarcastic or making fun of her. But he was simply getting all of Ziggy’s clothes ready and laying them out.

Her tension eased.

Jack leaned into her. “Ian loves nothing more than having a Little to fuss over. He might be a grouchy bastard on the outside, but when he has a Little to care for, he turns all soft.”

“I am sitting right here,” Ian said dryly.

“Ahh, so his hearing is all right. They say that’s the first thing to go in old men,” Jack told her.

She giggled as Ian glared at them both.

She got Ziggy into the cutest pajamas. They were bright red with yellow polka dots.

“Cute outfit,” Jack said, watching her.

“Ziggy is tired of being very monochrome,” she replied. “He wants to be colorful.”

“What about you, Little girl?” Ian asked in a very casual voice. “What do you like to wear in Little headspace?”

“I dunno. I’ve just always worn what I usually did when I went to the club.”

Jack made a low noise. She turned to stare at him in surprise. Was he jealous? Upset that she’d gone to the club?

She frowned. He’d been to clubs, so he had no right to feel that way.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I don’t like that you were at a club without us,” he told her. “I don’t like the idea of other men touching you, playing with you, looking at you.”

Yikes.

His possessiveness should be terrifying. And in a way, it was. It was just also . . . wonderful.

Because she couldn’t remember anyone caring about her so much that they hated the idea of something that had happened in the past.

“I won’t go back without you,” she blurted out. Then she winced.

Why had she said that?

Well, it’s not like you will ever go back.

Not now that Slade wasn’t talking to Indie. And she couldn’t afford a membership on her own.

Would Jack think she was a complete idiot for saying that, though? It wasn’t like he’d ever go there with her. But she’d made it sound like this was going somewhere.

Instead, satisfaction filled his face. “Good.”

Good. Right.

“I don’t like it either,” Ian said gruffly. “It’s not safe.”

But it had been the only opportunity for her to let her Little out around other people. To experience what it might be like to have a Big.

Except for now . . .

“Can we watch some TV?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“Sure, Little girl. What would you like to watch? Cartoons?” Ian turned on a kids TV show.

“Nah, I want to watch Bones or Dexter or Criminal Minds.”

“Now, those are my kind of shows,” Jack said approvingly.

“Also very inappropriate for a Little girl,” Ian said.

Happiness filled her at his words, even as she had to protest.

“Nuh-uh, they’re totally appropriate. I’m a very advanced Little girl.”

“Are you? How old are you?”

“Oh, like ten or twelve,” she lied.

“Uh-uh,” Jack said in a low voice that skated across her nerves.

Warning her that she was in trouble.

“What?” she asked, glancing over at him.

“Lying is quite naughty. So it’s going in your book” Jack told her. “Although . . . perhaps we should punish her now.”

“You . . . you’re going to punish me?”

Jack had said he would, but for some reason, she guessed she’d expected it more from Ian.

Jack was lighter, the fun one.

Although he was upset about you lying to him at the bouncy castle. And he has shown you his much darker side.

She glanced over at Ian, but he just nodded to Jack. “I’m going to go do a check of the house and grounds. After, I’ll look in on William and bring up some snacks.”

Great. So now she was alone with the dark one.

She gave Jack a nervous look. “It wasn’t a big lie, though.”

He tilted his head to the sigh. “There’s a gradient of lies?”

“You know there is. There are big lies and little lies and white lies. Like telling someone they look good in those pants when they make their ass look big.”

“I’d just tell them that their ass looked big.”

He would too.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really lying, just fibbing a bit.” She stuck her lower lip out. “I wants to be a big girl.”

“But you’re not, are you? I think you could be even younger than you think.” He cupped the side of her face. “How young do you usually go?”

“I guess . . . four. I don’t know.”

“What do you like to play with in Little headspace?”

“I’ve only played at the club. I like the cars and trucks. But also the dolls. I like dressing them up and doing their hair. Although I got in trouble once for cutting one of the dolls’ hair off. One of the other Littles cried.”

“And what sort of punishment did you get?” His face was calm, but there was a note in his voice that made her study him for a moment. He sounded too casual. Jack raised an eyebrow, amusement filling his face. “You see me, don’t you?”

“Yes, I think I do.”

“And I don’t scare you at all, do I?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly. But you don’t scare me as much as you probably should.”

“And why is that, baby girl?”

“Because I don’t think you’ll use that scariness against me. Rather . . . I should be worried about everyone else who you will turn on to protect me.”

“Very good,” he praised, turning to face her. “I would never harm you . . . but anyone who hurts you needs to watch out.”

Monkeyballs.

Her heart raced. A mix of fear and something else . . . anticipation?

Jack placed his hand around the front of her throat. Not threatening her, but more like he was trying to . . . to anchor her. To ground her. And she felt her fear and nerves fade away.

Jack was here.

He wanted to take care of her.

“What punishment did you get?”

“A spanking.” Her lip wobbled. “I was naughty. I guess I deserved it.”

“Hmm. It was naughty when it wasn’t your doll. I’ll buy you all the dolls you want, then you can do what you like to them.”

Maggie gave him a delighted look. She’d been made to feel like she was deficient or wrong when she’d cut the doll’s hair. But really . . . why did they have scissors in the playroom if you weren’t allowed to use them?

Although she did steal them out of the crafting area.

“Who spanked you?”

“One of the monitors.”

“What was his name?”

She shook a finger at him. “Nuh-uh, you can’t go after him.”

“I could.”

“Well, I don’t know his name, and that’s the truth. You can’t go after everyone who’s ever punished me. He was doing his job. What I agreed to.”

“I don’t like the idea of anyone punishing you but me and Ian. Yeah, I’d like to watch Ian take you over his knee and spank your bottom until it’s red and you’re sobbing.”

Her eyes were wide as she gaped at him. “You sound like you’d enjoy that a lot.”

“I would. But we can’t spank you while you have a sore hip. So I need another punishment for you.”

“You won’t take Ziggy away, will you? Or my new things!” Worry flooded her. “I’ll be a good girl! I promise.”

“Hey, no. I would never take Ziggy. Or any of your other toys.” He carefully lifted her onto his lap.

She could feel herself trembling. Which was a tad silly. Turning her head, she buried it into his chest, breathing in his woodsy scent.

He lightly gripped the back of her head. “I would never do something like that, baby. Ziggy is yours.”

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I guess it’s just some leftover stuff from when I was a kid. After Uncle Willy gave me Ziggy, he became my favorite toy. So my mum would use him to punish me.”

He held her tight, kissing the top of her head. “I had a shitty dad. He was never around and when he was, he’d either be yelling, sleeping, or drinking. But my ma . . . she was amazing.”

“I’m sorry you lost her.”

He tensed and then relaxed. “Ian told you?”

“A little. I know she died.”

“She was in pain and sick, and instead of thinking she better go to the doctor, she just kept working. Thinking about me. What I needed.”

“It sounds like she loved you so much.”

“She did.” He stared off into the distance.

“She wanted the best for you, like a good mother should. I’m sure she’d be proud of you.”

He gave her a strange look. “Would she? I’m not so sure. Is your mum proud of you?”

She snorted. “Not in the slightest. I don’t want to talk about her, though.”

He hummed. “Maybe not now. But one day, we’ll have this conversation.”

She gulped at the warning in his voice. She needed to get off this topic. The last thing she wanted was to explain all the ways her mum thought her a failure.

“So if you’re not going to spank me, how will you punish me?” she asked. “You know it would be a real bummer if I had to eat a whole bowl of ice cream.”

“Hmm, you know you’re right. It would. But I’ve decided not to punish you.”

Okay . . . that didn’t sit right with her.

Yeah, she’d like an indulgent Daddy, but she didn’t want him to change who he was. Or to let her get away with stuff.

All right, all right, so maybe she didn’t want a totally indulgent Daddy.

Most of all, though, she didn’t want Jack to think she feared him or his punishments.

“I need a punishment, though. It might help me feel better. I feel bad about lying even though it wasn’t a big lie so it shouldn’t be a big punishment.”

The tension in him eased and she knew she’d done the right thing.

“Are you trying to Top from the bottom?” he asked.

“Me? I would never. I’m just a sweet, innocent Little.”