Page 53

53

J ameson was concerned.

Everyone in this house was spiraling. Hard.

He needed to help them. But he just wasn’t sure if they would welcome his help.

Stop fucking second-guessing yourself.

He was preparing a lunch tray for Maggie. And he would get her to eat it even if he had to get strict with her.

He didn’t want to. But her health came first.

“What are you doing?” Ian asked, coming into the kitchen.

“I’m making Maggie lunch.”

“She won’t eat it.”

“She will eat it. Or will admit her.”

“You can’t do that. She’ll be terrified.” Ian stepped in his way.

Jameson took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Fuck. He wanted to tell Ian that he knew what he was doing. That Ian couldn’t interfere.

However, he didn’t really have the right to do this. “You’re right. And I know she’s not mine. I don’t have the right to do what I’m about to suggest. But . . . I’m fucking worried about her Ian. About all of you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Ian huffed. “Maggie is . . .”

“She’s not in a good way. She’s in her head and she can’t get out. She’s exhausted and not eating and scared. I want to help her. But if you tell me this isn’t the way to go, I’ll listen to you. Because you know her better.”

“Tell me,” Ian said.

“I know you guys want to give her whatever she wants. So do I. But I think she needs someone to take over and make the tough decisions. At least until she can do that again herself.”

Ian let out a harsh sigh, running his hand over his face. “It should be me who does that. I’m her Dom. Her Daddy.”

Jameson wished it could be him too. He’d thought about this, agonized over it. He didn’t want to be the firm one with her when they were on such precarious ground. Especially as he hadn’t really explained about his ex or talked about their relationship yet. And this could ruin it all. But Ian and Jack needed to be her safe space more than he needed her to like him.

It would hurt so bloody much, but he had to do what was best for the three of them.

“She also needs a safe harbor. That’s you and Jack. She can rant at me if she needs to. But she has to be able to turn to you if she needs a soft place to land.”

“No, that’s Jack. That’s always been Jack.”

“Yeah, but Jack needs help at the moment too. He’s not sleeping. He’s spiraling, and you and I both see it.”

Ian nodded reluctantly. “I don’t know what to do about him.”

“Yeah, there’s something I should tell you.” Jameson probably should have talked to Ian first before he’d done what he had. Fuck. Especially as they were still on guard against whoever took her.

“What?”

“I might have made him a sandwich and slipped a sleeping pill in it. I gave it to him while she was napping and dragged him into his room once he was unconscious. Asshole weighs a ton.”

“You did what?” Ian gaped at him.

“I should have told you first. Fuck. Sorry. It was kind of spur of the moment. He wouldn’t leave her side and I know he’d never let me get firm with her.”

“He wants to give her everything.” Instead of looking upset, relief filled Ian’s face. And Jameson remembered what it was like to work as a team.

To do this together.

Maggie looked up as Jameson walked in, carrying a tray of food. There was a strange look on his face, but she ignored that.

She was getting good at ignoring stuff. She glanced behind him. He never came by himself. Ian or Jack were always with him.

But he shut the door behind him and her eyes went to his, her breath stilling in her lungs.

“Bollocks,” he muttered. Hearing him swear in that posh-sounding accent would usually make her smile.

But she didn’t smile much anymore.

“I’m sorry, Shortcake. I’ll open it.”

“It’s okay,” she rasped. “Just surprised me.”

He called her Shortcake. He hadn’t done that in a while.

After studying her for a moment, he nodded and walked over to place the tray on a side table. “Time for lunch.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said automatically.

“I’ve no doubt you’ve lost your appetite, but you need to eat. And drink.”

She gazed over his shoulder. Where were Jack and Ian?

“Maggie, I would like your eyes on me.”

The firm tone had her gaze shifting back to his. Something changed inside her. No one had spoken to her this way since she’d been dropped off at the gate three days ago. Everyone tip-toed around her.

Although she wasn’t sure that anyone had ever used that tone with her.

And you like it, don’t you?

No. She didn’t want to feel anything.

“That’s better. Good girl.”

“Don’t do that,” she whispered.

He raised his eyebrows. “Do what?”

“Try to Top me. I haven’t consented.”

He sucked in a breath and she knew she’d rattled him.

“You’re right. You haven’t and I have no right. But I want to do it anyway. And you know why?”

She shook her head. This was even more surprising. Jameson didn’t seem like someone who strayed from the rules.

Jack, yes.

Jameson, no.

“Because all of you are falling apart, you need someone to hold you all together.”

Ahh, she got it now.

“So it’s for Jack and Ian. They need your help. You’re a good friend.” She gave him a tremulous smile. At least, she thought she did. She was still feeling quite numb.

Numb was good. She didn’t have to think or feel.

“No, I’m bloody not. I abandoned them. Gave up on them. But they never gave up on me. So I won’t do that to them now. Or ever again.”

Must be nice to have such loyalty.

A brief pang of sadness filtered through the barrier she had up. But she pushed it away.

She wanted to be numb.

“You should be looking after them, then,” she said. “Not wasting your time on me.”

“That’s one.”

“One what?” she whispered.

“One punishment. I saw your notebook. I’ll be putting that in.”

A stirring of anger.

Push it aside.

It was harder this time, though.

“You don’t have the right to punish me. Consent, remember?”

“As your doctor, if I believe you can’t make good decisions about your own care and health, I can take over. I can make those decisions for you.”

That wasn’t true, was it?

He sighed, looking upset. “Precious girl, I don’t want you to hate me. That’s the last thing I want. But you need help. And no one else is willing to push you. So I’m going to have to. Even if it ruins any chance of you wanting to be with me. I need to do something. I can’t just sit in this house and watch you fade away.”

Wow. Okay.

“You think you’ll ruin any chance with me?” she whispered. Yet he was still willing to do what was needed if it helped her.

That was some self-sacrificing bullshit.

Also, it was kind of sweet.

Maybe she had been hit on the head. Because she still didn’t understand why someone like him would want to be with her.

“You’re way out of my league,” she told him.

“No, I’m not,” he told her firmly. “It’s the other way around. You’re far too good for me.”

Was he blind?

“You’re perfect, precious girl. And if anyone says differently, you tell me. Including if it’s you who’s saying that. I’ll happily deal with them. And you.”

Her heart beat faster. She was both angry and intrigued.

Numb.

She tried to push everything down.

“Uh-uh, no more hiding.” He took hold of her chin and gave her a firm look. “That’s not happening.”

She sucked in a breath.

“I need to know what’s going on in that head of yours. Tell me.”

Maggie licked her lips. “This is a lot to think about.”

“I know. And you don’t have to decide what you want do about us right now. All you need to concentrate on is eating and sleeping and healing. Understand? That is all that matters right now. Your care.”

Dear Lord, the things he was saying . . . they were making her head swim.

“Come on. Let’s get you sitting.” He helped her sit up. His touch was careful so he didn’t hurt her bruised ribs. “You need to eat. From now on, every time you miss a meal, it’s going into your naughty girl book.”

“You . . . are you a Daddy Dom?” she asked instead of protesting his bossiness.

Truth is . . . she kind of needed it right now.

“I was once,” he told her. “I’m still going to note any naughtiness down in your book for Ian and Jack.”

“They won’t spank me.”

“There are other sorts of punishments. Have you ever been denied an orgasm?”

She gaped at him. He held up the sandwich, cocking an eyebrow. She reluctantly took a bite.

“Good girl. I’m worried about you. We all are. Ian and Jack love you, you know?”

What?

“And they don’t want to lose you. We don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m fine.” They loved her?

“Precious girl, you’re getting weaker by the day, you’re sinking more and more into that head of yours. Do not let those assholes win. Hear me?”

It became too much for her. That barrier started to crack.

“I’m scared.”

His head shot up, his eyes meeting hers. And his face softened. “Of what, precious girl? That they’ll grab you again?”

She nodded. “I thought I was going to die. They were barely feeding me. I had hardly any water. And they let me see their faces. They were going to kill me. Whenever I close my eyes, I can see her face. Nureel. The way she looked at me, it was like I was nothing.”

A sob escaped her.

“You are not nothing. Do you hear me?” he said fiercely. “You are beautiful, perfect, lovely, kind. And you are so fucking loved.”

She stared at him in shock.

He ran his hand over his face and she saw it was trembling. “I thought we’d lost you . . . that I had lost you and I never even got a chance to tell you how I feel about you. How much I care about you. I couldn’t sleep from worrying about you. Whether you were all right, if you were scared, or sick, or in pain. If you were needing us. And Ian and Jack were the same. They were lost, shells of themselves without you. They can’t function without you, precious girl. And now . . . I’m not going to let you just fade away. Even if I need to be the bad guy.”

His words broke through her shield and she let out a bigger sob that shook her entire body. Tears slid down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m s-sorry.”

For a moment, he looked devastated. Then he leaned in close, hugging her.

“It’s all right. Everything will be all right.”

Where was he going? Was he horrified by her display of emotion?

“Ian,” he called out.

Then Ian was there, pulling her onto his lap, holding her close. And she completely lost it.

Ian rocked his girl back and forth.

Fuck, he hated the sound of her tears. Of her pain.

But Jameson had been right. Someone needed to break her out of the shield she’d pulled around herself. She had been slowly fading away before their eyes.

He’d listened to everything Jameson said. Knew it had cost the other man to do that. He was doing what a good friend should. A brother. And the last of the anger Ian help toward him disappeared.

“Let it all out, Little girl. That’s it. All the fear and anger. You need to let it all go.”

“I don’t . . . I don’t like feeling like this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel so out of control. Like I’m not safe. I have nightmares . . . I can’t sleep . . . eating makes me feel sick. It’s safer to hide. Why won’t you let me hide?” Maggie wailed.

“Because I don’t want to lose you.” He drew her back, cupping her face and wiping away her tears. “Because you’re hurting yourself and that’s unacceptable.”

He reached over for a tissue, cleaning her up and wiping her nose.

“I’m so tired, Ian.”

“Then let me help you,” he said, knowing she didn’t mean just physically. “If you need me to take over, I will. If you need me as your man, your Dom, your Daddy. I’m here for you. Just don’t push me away anymore.”

“Do you love me?”

He sighed. “I had planned on telling you myself. Jameson always has to one-up me.”

She just stared at him.

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. I would do anything for you. Hurt anyone. Protect you with my life. You’re my sweet girl and I can’t live without you. So please let me help you.”

For what felt like forever, she just studied him.

“I love you too, Ian.” She sniffled. “And I . . . I’ll try. I’ll try to let you help.”

He gathered her close again. She tucked her face into his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to withdraw from you. It was just easier.”

“I get it, Little girl. But I can’t let you hurt yourself.”

“I didn’t mean to. Really.”

She didn’t want to hurt herself or them. It had just seemed easier to draw into herself. To try not to feel anything.

“What does all this mean for the future?” With Jameson? With her leaving soon?

“We can work all that out later. We just need to focus on you at the moment.”

“Ian, where is Uncle Willy?” she asked.

She’d asked about Uncle Willy when she first got home, but Ian and Jack had brushed away her questions, saying he was busy. But now that she had a clearer head, she realized that something was wrong.

Ian’s face closed up.

Monkeyballs.

“I’ll tell you soon, all right? Right now, we need to look after you.”

Did he not think she could handle what he had to say? Maybe she couldn’t, though.

“You need to eat some lunch. Then have a shower and brush your teeth. I’ll do your hair.”

“So what you’re saying is that I look like crap.”

His face grew serious rather than smile like she’d thought he might. He cupped her chin. “You are beautiful no matter what. But it’s time we looked after you. All right?”

“Okay.” She glanced over at the food Jameson made. A whole wheat sandwich with cheese and lettuce. Cut-up fruit. Slices of cheese. And plain yogurt. “This food sucks.”

“Yeah. It kind of does. But you need some healthy food.”

“I want your pancakes.”

“I’ll make you pancakes tomorrow for breakfast.”

“With chocolate chips?”

“Yep.”

“And smiley faces.”

“Pfft. Are they even proper pancakes if they don’t have smiley faces made with chocolate chips in them?”

“I don’t think so.” She grasped his hand. “Thanks, Ian. For not giving up on me. For being here. For loving me.”

“You never have to thank me for that.”

She nodded. “Where’s Ziggy?”

He opened a drawer and pulled him out. Poor Ziggy, she’d been neglecting him too. She hugged him tight. “No one locks Ziggy away!”

“He wasn’t locked away, Little Misfit. He seemed to be upsetting you.”

“Ziggy could never upset me.” She could feel her Little side pulling at her. It would be easy to sink into Little headspace and let Ian take over for a while.

“Um, Ian . . . could I . . .”

“You never have to ask. I only ever want to give you what you need.”

“Thanks, Daddy.”

He ran his finger over her trembling lips and she nipped it lightly.

“Now, time to eat.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t wants this food. It’s yuk.”

“Oh, look, your naughty girl notebook is also here. Let’s add a few things, shall we?”

She snatched it out of his hand. “I can’t believe that was in there this whole time!” If she’d known, she could have gotten rid of it.

Monkeyballs.

“I think it might be best if we keep it hidden somewhere,” Ian told her.

Okay, so obviously, she’d looked a tad bloodthirsty.

“Are any of Ziggy’s clothes in there? I want to get him dressed. He’s nakies.”

“Well, he’ll have to stay nakies for a bit longer, as we’ve got to take care of you first.”

“Poor Ziggy, he’s so neglected. I’ve been a bad zebra mama.”

“I’m sure Ziggy understands, Little girl. Now, open up for the airplane.”

He swooped a spoonful of yogurt down and plop ! It landed on the bed covers.

A surprised giggle left her. And she glanced up to find him watching her with affection and relief.

She owed it to him, to Jack, and to herself to push past this. “I’m all right, Ian.”

“You will be.” He let out a deep breath. “Maybe we better stick to a sandwich airplane.”

“It might be best, Daddy.”

After she’d eaten as much as she could, he got up. “I’m going to run you a bath and change the sheets while you’re in it.”

She made a face. “I’m sorry you have to take care of me.”

“That’s another punishment,” he told her sternly, picking up the notebook and writing something in it.

Assbaboons. She was going to be in so much trouble once they started punishing her again.

Forty minutes later, she was sitting in a fresh pair of pajamas on a clean bed while Ian sat behind her, brushing her hair.

The lightweight pajamas were new. A pale silver that she really liked with soft lace at the cuffs of the bottoms and the hem of the top.

The top was a shirt-style with buttons. They were sweet but also a bit sexy.

“I like these pajamas, Daddy,” she told him.

“Good. I’ll get you a pair in every color.”

She stiffened. “I don’t expect you to buy me things.”

He turned her around so she was facing him. Cupping her chin, he tilted her head back. “Let’s make something clear. Jack and I have some money. We’re not billionaires, but we’re comfortable. And all that money was accumulated to take care of our woman when we found her. That woman is you. We will use our money to do whatever we want to look after you. No arguments.”

She sighed but left it alone. “Where is Jack?” It wasn’t like him to leave her alone for long. Especially since she’d been rescued.

“He’s, uh, sleeping.”

“Good, he needs his sleep. I can tell he’s stressed.” He’d spent most of his time just staring at her.

“How are you feeling now, Little girl?”

“I’m a mess. And not just because of this.” She rubbed her temple. “Because of so many things.”

He ran a finger down her cheek. “Does any of that have anything to do with the patches of hair that you’re missing?”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh God, they’re obvious?”

“Only because I’ve done your hair a few times. Are you losing your hair? Is something . . . are you sick?”

Monkeyballs. He sounded so concerned that she knew she had to tell him.

“No. I’m not sick.” She sucked in a breath. “I, um. Sometimes . . . I get overwhelmed. It’s all too much, and I . . . I pull my hair out.”

The silence was too much.

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” she blurted out.

“No, Little girl. Hey, listen to me. No.” It was said in a firm voice. “But I do not like that you’re so anxious you hurt yourself. That is something we will need to address.”

Along with all of her other issues.

She didn’t say that out loud, though.

“I think I want a nap.”

“Do you want me to nap with you, Little girl?”

“No. I . . . I feel slightly overwhelmed. Sorry. I just need some space for a bit.”

Ian didn’t look entirely happy but he nodded. “I just want you to promise me something first. The next time you feel overwhelmed, like you need to pull your hair out, you’ll come to me or Jack. Promise?”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Do you want to tell him yourself?” he countered.

“No. I’d rather you do it.”

“Okay. I’ll do it. We are here to take care of you. Use us however you need to. All right?”

“Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, Little girl.”