Page 47 of Keeping Kasey (Love and Blood #3)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Logan

The first thing I notice when Kasey steps into the hallway the next morning is the puffiness under her eyes. It’s worse than yesterday, and before she drops her gaze, I notice her eyes are red, too.

She was crying again last night.

I’d known one dinner wouldn’t be enough to fix everything, but I’d thought—like me—she would’ve walked away feeling a little less like a train wreck.

But I guess not.

I managed five hours of sleep last night. It’s not the full night of rest I so desperately needed, but it’s better than nothing—even if it didn’t come until after I’d spent way too long staring at the door that joins our rooms with one thought spiraling through my brain.

I should’ve kissed her.

She’d been right there, staring at me with the most mesmerizing blue eyes, her full lips parted just slightly, like she was waiting for it too.

I could practically feel how she’d gasp against my mouth as I tugged her into me.

I’d dig my fingers into her waist, and she’d wrap her arms around my neck until there wasn’t an inch of space between us.

Instead, I went into my room alone.

I wish I could blame some abstract intentions, but I can’t. The reason I didn’t kiss her is because—even if she did embrace me—it wouldn’t change anything. She’d still wake up the next morning hating me, and I’d still trust a toddler with scissors more than her.

Four months ago, we claimed to hate each other, but that was just our budding personalities. It was a game of control that we used to get closer to each other because that’s what we actually wanted.

This —this grim reality—is the culmination of months of deceit, betrayal, and lies. Impulsive actions that tore apart the sliver of a relationship we’d begun to establish.

And now, I’m forced to keep my mouth shut and not ask why she’s been crying.

Again .

We get to the base, and I silently walk Kasey from the garage to Ford’s office. She goes inside without a glance in my direction, and unlike yesterday, I’m not angry.

I’m worried.

I shouldn’t be. It’s not like she wants my concern. Hell, she’d bite my head off if I voiced it.

But it’s still there.

James is waiting in my office when I walk in.

“You look like you’ve been hit by a car,” he says with a smile.

“And that’s a good thing?”

“The last few days, you’ve resembled a mangled corpse, so this is an improvement, yes.”

I point to the door. “Get out.”

He lifts his hands in surrender. “I just came to check in on you.”

“A job well done. Get out.”

My brother gives me a knowing look, and I decide I don’t have the energy to keep this from him.

“We went to dinner,” I say through a sigh, sinking into the chair behind my desk. “When she got back to the hotel, she was hungry, so we went to get burgers.”

“And that’s… bad?” he asks, clearly not knowing how to interpret my mood.

“She agreed to come to dinner tonight, and she traded telling me where she spent the last four months for getting her gun back.”

“Did she tell you what happened?”

I shake my head. “Just where she went.”

“None of that explains your mood.”

I lay my head back and close my eyes.

After a few seconds, James asks, “Do you want to marry Isabella?”

This is the last thing I need right now.

“I’m not in the mood, James. We can do this another time.”

“You have a proposal scheduled for next week. You’re out of time.”

“Until there’s a ring on her finger, I have time.”

“Logan.” Something in how my brother says my name prompts me to open my eyes. His face is notably absent of smugness. Instead, he looks concerned.

“I have a duty to this family.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“James—”

“Do you want to marry her?”

“I’ll do what I—”

“Do you want to marry her, Logan?”

“No,” I snap. “No, I don’t want to marry Isabella.

I want nothing to do with Isabella. The only woman I want—the only woman I have ever wanted—is Kasey.

Kasey, who hates me and won’t ever forgive me for the things I’ve put her through.

Are you happy now? Because saying the words out loud doesn’t change anything.

I still have to marry Isabella, and I still have to let Kasey go. ”

I regret the words the second I say them.

They’re true, but so much easier to deal with in silence.

Now, it’s all out in the open, and my brother can see just how screwed up my head is over the woman I want.

Because I can never have her.

James’s blank expression cracks, revealing a pained thoughtfulness, as if he could ever understand the war my logic and desire have been waging inside me since Kasey walked into my life.

“Don’t marry her,” he says, almost as a request.

“It’s not that—”

“It is that simple, Logan. It’s that simple because you’re the boss, and you get to decide. Dad used this engagement to control the Romanos and pressure you, but he’s gone, and now you get to decide what happens next.”

He makes it sound like it’s that easy.

It isn’t.

“Kasey doesn’t want me. And without her, we can’t justify risking our alliance with the Romanos,” I say, and swallow hard. “I’m sure I’ll come to care about Isabella.”

“But you’ll never love her.”

“Love is a luxury.”

“No, it isn’t,” he bites out, eyes narrowing. “Sometimes, I forget just how much Dad rubbed off on you.”

Heat spreads through my chest, and I match my brother’s glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re so focused on the family that you forget about your family .

Dad left Mom to die at the hands of his enemies.

He stood by and watched Damon crumble into addiction.

He completely abandoned Elise. He drove Mason to try and kill us all.

Do you really think we’re any better off because Dad put duty first? ”

I slam my fist against the desk. “What do you want from me? One second you’re pushing me into a corner to marry the Romano girl, and now you’re telling me I’m ruining our family if I do?”

James lifts his hands, and we both take a second to cool off.

“What I want is for you to be happy,” he says in a significantly calmer tone.

“Happiness isn’t in the cards for me.”

“What about not being so miserable?”

“I could try that, but no promises.”

He breathes a laugh. “You don’t have to marry Isabella.”

“What other choice do I have?”

James’s smile is small, like he’d hoped I would ask. “As a matter of fact—”

The door to my office bursts open, and James and I shoot to our feet just as a heaving Matteo steps inside.

“We’ve been sabotaged.”

James, Matteo, Damon, and I are seated in my office only minutes later.

“When and where?” I ask.

“This morning, three shipping containers of weaponry and ammunition showed up at the warehouse empty,” Matteo states. “All that was left were a few empty pallets and crates.”

“It’s been almost two months since the last sabotage,” Damon says slowly. “I’d begun to think the worst of it was over.”

“Could this have anything to do with the note?” James asks.

I shake my head. “It’s unlikely. Ford didn’t find a single connection in the client list. It’s most likely been a wild goose chase, after all. I don’t think that’s what sparked this.”

“I’ve got a good guess,” Matteo mutters.

Damon rolls his eyes. “Of course, you would find a way to blame Kasey.”

“You can’t seriously believe this has nothing to do with her,” Matteo says. “These sabotages got worse the last time she was in town, and it was ignorant for us to assume her return wouldn’t have the same effect.”

“Is it out of the realm of possibilities that this was an outsider?” Damon asks. “Why automatically assume it’s a traitor? Have any of our soldiers gone AWOL yet?”

“Not yet,” James answers. “But it’s only been a few hours, so we haven’t been able to do a full assessment of our men. If this is a traitor, we should have a name by the end of the day.”

“The only name you need is Kasey . Bringing her back here was a mistake, and now we’re suffering the consequences,” Matteo grumbles.

Damon laughs humorlessly. “You realize she’s here so we can get rid of the traitors, right?”

He shrugs. “As far as I know, she’s here to distract us long enough to organize the traitors into launching an attack.”

“She’s not,” James says, the certainty in his tone pulling our attention to him.

At my questioning look, James sighs, standing to pace. “We talked while Ford was in here yesterday, and when I asked her if she would’ve gone back for Kane if given the time, she said no—that it would’ve been harder to stay hidden. But she also said she thought he was better off at the manor.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Matteo asks in a clipped tone.

“Kane isn’t just her dog—he’s her family . Having to leave him out of necessity is one thing, but she’d never think her family was better off in the hands of enemies she’s actively scheming against.”

“Or maybe she just knows you’re not evil enough to slaughter an innocent dog,” Matteo suggests.

“Maybe,” James grants, “or maybe she knows we’d never hurt Kane because we’d have no reason to. She might hate us, but she doesn’t want to hurt us.”

Why the hell is this the first time I’m hearing about this conversation?

“What else did she say?” I ask curtly and, as if reading my mind, James flashes a brief apologetic look.

“That she wasn’t in contact with anyone while she was gone—no one who would know her location, sell her out—”

“Or leave me a note,” I finish.

“She’s just as much in the dark as we are,” he says with a nod.

“All of this is assuming she’s telling the truth,” Matteo notes. “And we know for a fact that she’s lied before. Why are we taking her at her word now?”

“Because she’s different,” Damon tells him, a kind of distant look in his eyes. “Whatever happened while she was gone, it changed her.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask.

“She’s been off since she got back—not just angry, snarky, and her usual stubborn, but distracted. Almost sad. Today has been the worst yet.”

So, I’m not the only one who’s noticed.