Page 63 of Keeping Her Under

“Don’t do this, Rath. You promised not to leave me.”

I’m sorry.

The pain in my chest is nearly unbearable. I hate how much this is going to hurt him, but I can’t live anymore. I can’t.

How can I protect Summer if I let someone who hurt her live?

I raped her...

I raped her!

Riiiing!

Riiiing!

Ri–

“Stop!” I scream at the sounds in my head. I bang the packet of knives against my knees. Then I tear at the thick plastic with my teeth as tears stream down my face.

I’m pathetic.

I’m worthless.

The world will be better off without me.

Ripping open the packaging, I pull out a knife.

And lift it to slit my throat.

Thirty-Three

The door of the van slams open.

I jump instinctively, the knife moving away from my throat.

Asher lunges inside and grabs my wrist. I swing for him with my other hand. Pain explodes through my knuckles as they bash into the side of his head. Then it ruptures in my nose as he headbutts me in the face.

I slump back in the seat, my vision swimming. He yanks the knife away from me and tosses it towards the back of the van.

“Fuck, you!” he screams, his voice twisted and raw.

Then he pulls me into his arms and cries.

And I do too.

Shaking and sick.

I’m both grateful for him. And I hate him too.

“You shouldn’t have stopped me.”

“Fuck you.”

“You don’t understand –”

“I understand you’re a fucking asshole!”

“I know! Because I raped her!”