Page 32 of Kaz (Salvation Kings MC: New Freedom Chapter #2)

Miles

HE WAS moping. Which was a surprising development.

He’d expected anger, anguish, or something just as destructive, but no.

He was just feeling sorry for himself. As much as he wanted to blame Kaz…

he couldn’t put it all on him. He’d gone into this relationship knowing exactly who Kaz was.

Was it wrong that he’d expected Kaz to trust him?

He was sitting on his parents’ couch with his head in his hands while he tried to understand everything that had happened, but all he was doing was confusing himself more. Trying to place blame when he wasn’t sure what was true or right.

A steaming mug appeared on the coffee table in front of him. It was probably better than the alcohol he wanted to drown himself in.

He grabbed the mug and took a sip, humming appreciatively at the sweet taste of hot chocolate. He looked up at his father, unsurprised to find dark eyes tracking his every move, gaze unwavering. He’d never been able to hide a damned thing from him.

“What’s got you moping like it’s tenth grade again?”

Miles grunted and placed the mug back on the table.

Pop raised a black brow at him, his lips twitching. “Remember when you acted out as a teenager?”

Miles nodded, shame filling him at the thought of his teenage self’s actions and words.

He’d been extremely frustrated and frightened, really.

He’d taken it out on his family, though mostly on Pop.

He hadn’t done it to hurt anyone. He’d just not been able to convey his fears and worries in a constructive way. He wasn’t sure he’d wanted to.

“I was terrified that it meant I was a bad father,” Pop said, a smile teasing his lips.

Miles opened his mouth to protest, but held his tongue when Pop raised a hand to stop him.

“I know I’m not perfect. I haven’t been a perfect parent because that’s just not possible.

You do what you think is right in the moment.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty after all, and are there things I would do differently today?

Absolutely. But, no matter what, I will always be here for you when you mess up or need support because that is what makes a good parent.

That’s what you do for the ones you love. ”

Pop sat down on the coffee table in front of Miles and took his hands in his.

Warmth washed over him, settling in his body and in his bones.

Safety. It was safety he felt. He’d always known he was safe and loved in this home.

It was likely why he’d felt comfortable enough to be a little shit as a teen.

“I’m sorry.”

Pop shook his head, a soft smile on his lips.

“It’s all in the past. We both grew from it,” Pop said. He leaned forward, brow raised at Miles. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”

Miles drew in a deep breath. Where did he even start?

“I’m in love with Kaz.”

Not what he thought would be coming out of his mouth, and from the wide-eyed look his father gave him, neither had he.

Pop took a moment, brows scrunching as he mulled over that information.

“You’re moping because you’re mad that you’re in love with Kaz?” he guessed, his expression curious but confused.

Miles dropped back against the couch with a frustrated sigh. He ran his hands down his face, everything inside him a jumbled mess.

“Yes? No? I don’t―” he cut himself off with a groan, his father’s chuckle only making him groan harder.

“Baby.” Pop shifted onto the couch, pulling one leg under him to face Miles. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Miles squeezed his eyes closed as if not seeing his father would make the words feel less real.

“I know you know. About us. Back then.”

A hand squeezed his own, and he released a breath, opening his eyes slowly. Pop was watching him with an amused smile.

“You weren’t exactly subtle. Neither was your breakup.”

Heat surged to his cheeks, and he dropped his head into his hands, cursing under his breath. He wanted to dig a hole out back and hide in it for the rest of time.

“Imagine our surprise when you two went from loathing each other to seeing each other.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t get whiplash,” Miles muttered, offering his father a small grin.

Pop shook his head, lips quirking at the corners. “We nearly did when you came back from Kaz’s birthday party way too early and looked like someone kicked your puppy.”

“You didn’t seem much inclined to speak about it, so we left it alone,” Dad said from the doorway, his gaze moving from Miles to his husband.

He was wearing his Salvation Kings cut, his graying hair flat from his helmet.

The gun holster on his hip was empty, the gun already in the safe by the front door.

Pop pursed his lips, one brow furrowing as he mumbled, “Perhaps we should have.”

“I doubt it would’ve made much of a difference,” Miles said, gaze dropping to his hands. “Especially the second time around.”

“The what now?” Dad asked, blinking at Miles.

“We just got back together, but…”

“You’re here,” Dad finished.

Miles nodded, looking between his fathers. They had always seemed so happy, even when things got rough because of the club and the danger Dad put himself in daily. He’d never heard Pop complain about it, but he’d felt the tension, especially when he was younger.

“You two trust each other, right?”

Dad’s brows jumped, a confused expression crossing his face as he stared at Miles.

Pop stood, scratching the top of his head. He looked like he was trying to find some deeper meaning behind Miles’s question, but then he glanced at his husband, a look of utter love and devotion in his eyes.

“Of course, we do. You have to trust your partner, because without trust, you have nothing,” Pop said.

“But what if he doesn’t trust me back?”

What little trust they’d had was thoroughly gone now, and that thought left a burning sensation in his chest.

“What makes you think he doesn’t trust you?”

“He won’t tell me anything,” he hissed, his frustration bleeding into his voice. “He won’t tell me the truth.”

Pop let out a sigh, and a crestfallen expression spread on his face. “When did this start? I thought we’d…” Pop shook his head. “When did you stop trusting again?”

He blinked at his father. “What do you mean?”

Pop looked to his husband, worrying his bottom lip. “It began with us, didn’t it?”

Miles started to shake his head, but there was no use in denying it. Not when his father was looking at him with those keen eyes.

“This is about Kaz and him not telling you club business, isn’t it?” Dad asked, wrapping an arm around his husband’s waist to tug him closer.

Miles nodded, his words stuck in his throat.

“Oh, Honey,” Pop said, shaking his head, “There are things your father can’t tell me. Hell, there are things I can’t tell him , but that doesn’t mean we don’t trust each other. I’m sorry you got the wrong impression of that. I’m sorry for our part in your distrust.”

Dad pressed a kiss to the top of Pop’s head, nose remaining buried in his husband’s tight curls for a moment.

“I…” He tried to speak, but he didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure he understood, and that only made it that much worse.

“The part I have to trust?” Pop raised a brow at Miles. “That’s Zayne choosing what he can and can’t tell me. I have to trust his judgement, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

“How do you know? How do you make that choice?”

His palms were getting sweaty, and he dried his hands off in his jeans while his heart only beat faster and harder, taking his breath away as he waited for his father to speak.

Pop frowned, looking up at Dad for a moment. “I’m not sure anyone else can tell you that, Baby.”

He was desperate. Desperate for any reason to trust Kaz because he loved him.

He’d loved him for almost a decade and a half despite everything.

In his heart, he’d always known something wasn’t right about how their relationship ended, but he’d been too terrified to find out the truth. So, he never had.

He might have demanded the truth from Kaz today, but something told him that he was also the reason Kaz hadn’t told him, because did he really want to know?

The truth scared the shit out of him. What if the truth was worse than anything he could imagine?

Or worse, what if it wasn’t? What if he’d just blown up their relationship for nothing?

Why was this so hard?

He didn’t realize he’d said the words out loud before he had two sets of arms around him. He wrapped his own around the shoulders of both his fathers, soaking in their love and support.

When they pulled back, he didn’t want to let go.

Facing reality was scary because he had no guarantees.

All he knew for certain was that he wanted to be with Kaz, but he didn’t know how .

How was he supposed to trust Kaz when Kaz didn’t trust him?

He was the one with trust issues, not Kaz.

He couldn’t help but think that he wasn’t enough for Kaz, and that fucking hurt.

“You know what the Kings do,” Dad said with an arched brow at him.

Miles nodded, a somber feeling settling over him.

Oh, he knew. He’d been one of the people the Kings saved.

Without the Kings, he and his sister would likely have been killed by their parents’ murderer a long time ago.

Not only had the Kings kept them safe, but they’d also given them a home and a family.

“Then you know what Kaz is doing, and if he’s not telling you about it, then it’s because you don’t need to know,” Dad said.

Miles pressed his lips together, fighting the urge to protest.

“But how do I know that’s true?”

“This is where the trusting comes into play,” Pop said with a wry smile.

He groaned, making his fathers laugh.

A hand on his shoulder had him looking into deep brown eyes.

“You have a decision to make,” Pop said. “You either trust him, or you don’t.”