Page 30 of Kaz (Salvation Kings MC: New Freedom Chapter #2)

Miles

HE WAS seething. Absolutely fucking seething.

He wanted to yell at Kaz and try to force him to see what he was doing to them by remaining silent.

Secrets and lies had torn them apart last time.

He’d thought they were beyond that now. He’d thought…

thought they were past it. Or, at least, were on the same side. Clearly, they weren’t.

He was taking his anger out on the old rickety shed out back, using a sledgehammer to tear down the walls. He’d been at it for a while now, and his shoulders were protesting heavily. He put the sledgehammer down and ran his arm across his face.

He needed a shower.

He needed answers.

He needed… he didn’t even know what. Just something. Anything from Kaz that made him believe they could get through this. That Kaz was willing to try.

A sigh pushed past his lips, and his shoulders slumped. He was spent. The only thing he’d succeed in was fucking up this teardown if he kept going.

He reluctantly headed inside, hating the quiet because it only proved how alone he truly was here. He stepped through the door to Kaz’s room and hesitated, gaze running over the bed with the rumpled sheets, the clothes on the floor.

He squeezed his eyes closed, fighting to keep his composure because he knew if he didn’t, he might just shatter right then and there.

He undressed quickly and walked into the bathroom.

He turned on the water, waiting for it to heat up before he stepped under the spray.

He scrubbed off the grime and sweat, his thoughts whirling.

How was he supposed to trust Kaz when he was keeping secrets from him?

Kaz had already hurt him more than anyone.

He didn’t understand why Kaz needed to keep anything about the club a secret.

He already knew more than most. It was fucking ridiculous.

He rested his forehead against the shower tiles, the water beating down his back.

Not knowing what was going on, not knowing if his sister or Kaz were in danger, was eating him up inside.

He knew the life they led was dangerous, but his dads had never truly let them see it.

His imagination was making up for the holes in the narrative, and it wasn’t pretty.

All he saw was Emma choking on her own blood, Kaz lying in a pool of blood, his eyes unseeing.

It was the sound of gunshots, the screams, the pleading…

all he saw was his parents, dead on the kitchen floor, so much red everywhere.

He’d never forget the smell or how it clung to him.

Sweet and coppery. The blood and the gunshot residue.

He straightened and shook his head, trying to shake off the memories and fear clinging to him. He turned the water off and grabbed a towel to dry himself off.

The rumble of motorcycles had his pulse picking up.

He clenched his teeth and reached for his clothes.

He found a clean pair of jeans and tugged them on.

He grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it over his head, grimacing when he caught his reflection in the mirror.

He looked as haggard as he felt. He put his work boots back on and headed down the hallway.

He could hear voices downstairs and wasn’t surprised to find everyone filing inside and spreading out to drop down on the couches.

“He’s in the garage,” Wilder said, stopping in front of Miles with a careful smile on his lips.

Miles kept his mouth shut but nodded. He took off toward the front door with a heavy heart.

He wasn’t sure what he was walking into, except it could very well be the end of them.

He was afraid to hold out hope that Kaz had changed his mind sometime during the last few hours, but hope had a way of burrowing inside. It would only make it hurt more.

Stepping outside, he ran his gaze across the motorcycles, checking for damage. He couldn’t see any, but it didn’t lessen his unease.

Kaz wasn’t on the first floor of the garage, so he took the stairs to the office.

He hesitated in the doorway. Kaz was looking out the window, his arms crossed.

The light was on, casting shadows over Kaz and making him look almost unreal.

Like something from a dream. How many times had he dreamt of Kaz over the years?

Too many to count. None of those dreams had included fighting over keeping secrets from each other.

Kaz turned his head, eyes lightening up the second they found Miles.

His heart skipped a beat.

Even with anger and fear swirling inside him, he still wanted Kaz. Hell, he wanted him desperately. Kaz’s eyes held such devotion and love. He always forgot that breathing wasn’t voluntary when Kaz looked at him like that.

Kaz took off toward him, and Miles straightened, determination filling him.

“You said we’d talk.”

Kaz’s steps faltered, his brows furrowing.

“You know I can’t tell you club business. It’s just how it is. You know that.”

Miles shook his head. “So, you’re going to keep secrets. You’re going to lie to me. Again.”

Kaz’s flinch was barely noticeable.

“Miles,” Kaz said with a sigh, frustration bleeding into his voice. “Please, I don’t want to fight.”

Miles crossed his arms and leveled Kaz with a hard look.

Kaz ignored it and reached for the open cardboard box on the desk next to him. He pulled something black out of it and turned to Miles with a vulnerable expression on his face.

“This isn’t how I wanted to do this,” Kaz started, sending Miles’s pulse skyrocketing. Kaz smiled wryly at him. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you, Miles. I want you at my side. I want everyone to know you’re mine and I’m yours.”

Miles blinked at Kaz, confusion making his brain feel fuzzy. They all already knew. Kaz had made sure there was no doubt about it.

“What do you―”

Kaz smiled and handed him what turned out to be a piece of black leather.

“You’re mine, Sweetheart. You always have been. I’ve wanted to give you this since the first time you kissed me.”

Miles’s heartbeat sped up, his hands trembling as he realized what he was holding. It was a leather cut. He stared at it, at the words adorning the leather. Property of Kaz . A part of him wanted to accept it, to wear it with pride, knowing what it meant to Kaz. The other part?

He shoved the cut against Kaz’s chest, forcing him to grab it or let it fall to the floor.

“Fuck you,” he hissed, the heat of anger blazing through him. “You can’t even be honest with me, and you think I’ll be yours?”

Hurt flashed across Kaz’s face, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Kaz only just realized he’d been serious earlier when he said he might not be here when he got back.

“Miles…” Kaz’s voice was rough, and he cleared his throat, his eyes a gray storm of emotions. “I don’t―”

“Tell me the truth,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “Tell me or I’m leaving.”

There was a tick in Kaz’s jaw, though he remained completely still, staring hard at Miles.

He threw his hands up with a frustrated groan.

Of course, Kaz wasn’t going to talk.

He turned on his heels and took off. He needed to pack his shit and hope that the crack he felt in his chest didn’t mean that his heart was as completely shattered as he feared it might be. Kaz had broken it before. Violently.

A hand caught his shoulder, and he was jerked around, coming face to face with Kaz, whose eyes were wild and pleading.

“Please, Miles. Don’t do this. Not over something so stupid.”

He glared at Kaz, his teeth grinding hard. “If you think it’s so stupid, then just fucking tell me.”

Kaz’s hand fell to his side, his expression shuttered.

“That’s what I thought,” he mumbled, taking a step back.

“I love you,” Kaz said, his voice soft. “I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

His heart leapt, then set off in a gallop.

He’d wanted those words for almost a decade and a half. He’d thought he’d never get them, but hearing them now? It felt cheap. Like Kaz was only saying them as a last resort. He might not be, but Miles couldn’t shake the thought, the feeling.

“Love isn’t enough.” He shook his head and took a step back, his heart splintering even further. “We need trust and honesty, too.” He swallowed hard. “And we don’t have that. We’ve never had that. You made sure of it.”

This time, as he walked away from Kaz, it wasn’t anger he felt. It was something a lot more devastating.

∞ ∞ ∞

He shoved all his belongings into his bag, uncaring that everything got creased or smushed. He didn’t want to stay here a second longer than he had to. He needed to get away from Kaz, from all of this. Fuck the club. Fuck the bylaws.

He zipped up the bag and took off out of Kaz’s bedroom, hating how the room smelled of Kaz, of them . If he never smelled that earthy scent of leather again, he’d be a happy man. Or so he told himself.

He took the stairs down to the first floor and nearly ran straight into Emma. He frowned when he noticed she was wearing someone else’s shirt. It was much too big on her, bunching up under her cut. She didn’t look hurt, though, so he shook it off, deciding he would ask her later.

“Whoa, what’s got you…” Emma’s gaze dropped to the bag in Miles’s hand, then snapped back up. “You’re leaving?”

No sound came out when he opened his mouth, and he forcefully cleared his throat, giving himself a second to figure out what the hell to say to her.

It wasn’t just Kaz he was leaving behind.

He wouldn’t be able to visit Emma here. There was no way he could step into this house without falling apart.

He shifted his bag into his left hand and wrapped his other arm around Emma’s shoulders, bringing her against his body in a tight hug. She grabbed onto his shirt, her voice lightly quivering as she said, “Miles? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he lied, the words like sandpaper in his throat. “I just need to go.”

He didn’t give her time to protest before he slipped out of her embrace and made his way to the front door with hasty steps. He walked down the front patio steps and pulled out his phone to order a cab, but movement close by had him jerking his head up.

Kian was leaning against one of the two cars parked in front of the garage, an unreadable expression covering his handsome face.

His long blond hair was pulled into a bun, his sea green eyes tracking Miles’s every move as he walked toward him.

Despite Kian’s relaxed demeanor, he still looked imposing with his wide shoulders, thick arms, and that damned leather cut.

The countless tattoos didn’t help, either.

“He told me to take you home,” Kian said with a cocked brow.

Miles only grunted in answer and walked around the car to drop his bag on the back seat before getting in the car. Kian got behind the wheel, sparing him a confused look before he drove them down the driveway and out onto the road.

“What the hell happened? I thought you guys were finally good?”

Miles clenched his jaw and turned his gaze out the window.

“We’ve never been good.”

Oh, they’d been good at many, many things, but never the one that truly mattered: trusting each other with the truth. He’d been an idiot to think Kaz would start now.