Page 21 of Kaz (Salvation Kings MC: New Freedom Chapter #2)

Miles

HE’D BEEN lying awake for a while. His heart was content to keep him nestled in Kaz’s arms, the man’s body pressed against every inch of him that he could reach, but he knew it had to end.

Or, at least, they had to talk. He needed to know this wasn’t a fluke or a scheme.

He needed to be certain he hadn’t just fucked up royally. Again.

He heard Kaz’s breathing change, and a smile spread on his face when lips feathered across his shoulder. The hand splayed against his stomach moved up his chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, and a groan escaped him at the feel of Kaz’s hardening cock pressed against his ass.

As much as he wanted to rock back against Kaz, he didn’t. Pulling away was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but there was too much unsaid between them for him to allow this to go on. He was sure, if he let Kaz have his way, they wouldn’t be leaving this bed anytime soon.

“We should get dressed,” he said, and decided it was better not to give Kaz time to argue, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

He stood, pulling the covers with him, forgetting that there was only one until Kaz made a protesting sound.

He wrapped it around his hips before turning around to face Kaz.

Kaz propped his head on his hand and lay on his side on the bed, watching Miles with curious confusion, not a scrap of clothing covering his droolworthy body.

“What’s wrong?”

Miles pressed his lips together, and though he tried, there was no looking away from Kaz’s gorgeous body.

He was all man now, and while he’d always been hot as fuck, there was something about older Kaz that spoke to him.

This Kaz knew what he wanted, and fuck if it didn’t turn him the fuck on.

He wanted more of it. So much more. Which was why he took a step back.

“We need to talk, and all of that,” he gestured in Kaz’s general vicinity, “is not conducive to the conversation we need to have.”

Kaz’s lips quirked, and then he was smirking up at Miles while making no move to cover himself or get dressed.

It was that same smirk from when they were younger, and it took him down memory lane in an instant.

Kaz pushing his buttons every chance he got.

Kaz watching him with that annoyingly knowing look in his eyes.

Kaz telling him everything he wanted to hear.

He swallowed hard and turned around, hurrying to his small closet.

He dressed quickly, acutely aware of the silence stretching between them.

He tugged on a pair of jeans and then grabbed a shirt, jerking it over his head.

He heard Kaz move, the bed creaking slightly, but he didn’t dare look over his shoulder.

His breath stuttered when hands grasped his hips, a warm body pressing against his back while lips brushed the side of his neck.

“Kaz,” he protested, his voice as weak as his heart.

“What do you wanna talk about?”

He turned in Kaz’s arms and ran his gaze over him.

He’d put on his pants but had foregone his shirt, that muscular, tattooed chest on display.

He’d loved the tattoos Kaz had when they were nineteen, but the ones he’d added since completed the look.

It was like looking at a map of who Kaz was, of what he’d been through.

Little pieces of his soul and heart that he kept locked up, even if they were there on his body in black ink.

A finger crooked under his chin, lifting his head and making his gaze collide with Kaz’s. There was amusement in Kaz’s expression, and he bit his lip when he realized he’d been staring.

Kaz’s brows rose. “You wanted to talk?”

Miles grumbled under his breath, glaring when Kaz huffed out a short laugh.

“This is serious,” he grumbled.

Kaz’s eyes held a speck of amusement as he said, “I’m well aware, Sweetheart.”

Miles’s heart skipped a beat, his brain coming to a screeching halt at that word.

That endearment. He’d said it last night, too, hadn’t he?

It felt… intimate. It made everything feel more real, and he knew, if he gave the man his trust and he broke it again, hearing Kaz call him that would absolutely wreck him.

He wouldn’t recover. He’d barely recovered last time, and now?

There was so much more at stake for him.

He’d been young and dumb then. He wasn’t now.

His heart was longing to be Kaz’s, but he wasn’t sure he could give it to him.

After everything, how could he trust Kaz with his heart again?

Kaz lowered his head, nudging Miles’s nose with his own before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Let’s have breakfast,” Kaz said, his breath on Miles’s lips sending a shiver down his spine. “Then we can talk.”

Kaz stepped back, grabbing Miles’s hand to tug him toward the door, but he remained rooted to the floor. He pulled his hand free from Kaz’s grasp and, with his heart thundering in his chest, he met the man’s silver gaze.

“I was in love with you, and you threw us away,” he muttered, his words barely above a whisper.

Kaz flinched, eyes dropping to the floor.

“You were the first person I truly trusted for years. One week. That’s how long it took you to break that trust after I gave you everything. Every piece of me.”

“Miles,” Kaz started, taking a step closer.

Miles threw up his hands. “I don’t know what the hell kind of games you’re playing, but I want no part of it. I can’t―” His throat closed up, and he had to blink back tears. “I can’t risk trusting you again only to have you break me for good.”

Kaz took another step toward him, mouth opening to speak, but he couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t do this.

He took off toward the door, but only made it three steps before he was jerked back around and pressed against Kaz’s body.

Hands cupped his face, forcing his gaze to Kaz’s.

“You scare me,” Kaz said, eyes searching Miles’s face. “It’s always scared me. How much I want you. How much I fucking need you. From the first time we met.”

“Kaz…”

Hands moved from his face into his hair, to the back of his neck, fingers digging in and making his pulse jump.

“I was a scared kid, Miles. I never thought I’d feel even a tenth of what I feel for you. I… I know I’ve never deserved you. That’s why I let you go.”

He blinked at Kaz. “What do you mean?”

Kaz shook his head, the pain flashing through his eyes making Miles’s heart thump loudly in his chest.

“I was never with Jane. Not for one second. I just let you believe it when you jumped to conclusions, because I was afraid.”

Miles swayed from a bout of dizziness, his heart beating so hard and fast he thought it might beat right out of his chest.

“I’ve worked very fucking hard to be better. To be someone who could be worthy of you. I know I’m not there yet, but how the hell am I supposed to keep my hands off you? How am I supposed to stay away when you’re right here and so fucking eager for my touch?”

Breathing got harder with each word spilling from Kaz’s lips.

“I barely know what love is, Miles, but I’ve always loved you. Always. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I’ve always been in love with you.”

“Kaz…”

He shook his head. He didn’t know what to say, and Kaz seemed to realize as much, a sad smile finding his lips.

“I don’t need you to say anything. I just need you to know the truth. I might not have cheated on you, but I did lie. I want to earn your forgiveness. Your trust. I want another chance. That’s what all this has been about,” Kaz said, throwing his arms wide. “All of this is for you , Miles.”

“I can’t―” He rubbed his chest, the rapid beat of his heart almost painful. “I don’t know.”

“I know I’m asking a lot, but will you let me prove it to you?”

He looked at Kaz, really looked, and all he saw was sincerity and need. Such desperate need for Miles to believe him. For Miles to give him a chance.

Kaz wasn’t just the one that got away; he was the one he thought he could never have again. He was in no way strong enough to survive if this Kaz broke his heart.

“What if you do all of this for me and then decide you don’t want me anymore?” The words were jumbled, and his throat was hoarse, but he knew Kaz got the gist of it.

Kaz’s lips turned up at one corner, and he tilted his head to the side, that gray gaze regarding Miles with such intensity he could barely breathe.

“Never. There has not been a time in my life since the day we met when I didn’t want you. There is not a world, no fucking universe, where I would ever stop wanting you, Sweetheart.”

Arms wrapped around him, and then his face was buried in Kaz’s neck.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kaz mumbled against Miles’s hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

He knew it was foolish to believe those words, but right there, in the warmth and safety of Kaz’s arms, he did.