Page 8 of Kalix

LAINEY

I decided to arrive at my chemistry lecture twenty minutes early today. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before and sit in the very back, in the last row. I don’t know what it is, but lately I’ve been feeling more uneasy than usual.

To help myself feel somewhat sane, I thought it would be a good idea to get ahead of the game and keep an eye on my surroundings.

After all, if someone were watching me, I’d be able to notice it more easily from the back…

right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to feel better about the situation.

Maybe I should consider seeing my doctor to discuss getting the dose of my medication adjusted.

The door is already open when I get there. I step inside and quickly scan the room before heading to the back. The professor nods at me while he talks on the phone, and there is no one else in sight. Perfect .

Students trickle in the closer it gets to time for the lecture to begin. I find myself continuously scanning the room, watching every person to make sure they are not staring at me. Fortunately, everyone is minding their own business, preparing for class.

I can’t shake the feeling that I must look like a lunatic right now. This shit is probably all in my head. I’m definitely calling my doctor after class to schedule an appointment.

It’s one minute until the lecture starts when the door to the room opens. I look up and see three guys walk in, each holding a black helmet without a book or backpack in sight.

My heart begins to race as I watch the first one scan the front of the room. He stops briefly before turning his gaze toward the back row.

He locks eyes with me for a moment before tearing them away and murmuring something over his shoulder to his friend behind him.

My hands begin to sweat as that eerie feeling washes over me again, but I can’t look away as I watch him and his buddies find their seats.

They sit to my left, leaving four chairs in between him and I.

I continue to observe him as he settles in, placing his helmet and leather jacket in the chair next to him.

Dark tattoos cover his arms and hands, and I can only imagine there are more hidden beneath his clothing.

His hair is dark and cropped short on the sides, with curls falling just below his brows.

He must sense my gaze because he looks over at me with a blank expression.

His crystal blue eyes boring into mine, causing my stomach to flip.

I quickly avert my attention toward the professor as he begins the class.

The class seems to drag on longer than usual. I check the clock on my phone every five minutes. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I want to glance over at him to see if he’s watching me, because it feels like he keeps looking in my direction. But I can’t bring myself to do it.

Is this who I keep feeling watching me all the time?

No, Lainey. Stop acting crazy. He’s just a regular guy going to class, who happens to be covered in tattoos and looks like he just walked out of a GQ magazine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, feeling myself spiral into a panic attack. My heart races, and my mouth goes dry. Fucking hell.

I glance at the clock again; we still have twenty more minutes.

I should probably get up and leave since I haven’t retained anything the professor has said anyway. I’ve been too busy freaking out over a random guy minding his business in class. But I don’t want to disrupt my classmates by leaving.

I quietly pick my bag up off the floor and search for my as-needed medication. It’s been months since I last had to take any. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I needed it. I pop the little round pill into my mouth and wash it down with some water.

I focus on breathing in and out, taking slow, deep breaths until I begin to feel the effects of the pill kicking in.

One, two, three, four, in.

One, two, three, four, out.

By the time the professor wraps everything up, I’m starting to feel a bit better.

Instead of getting up and rushing out, I decide to wait and see what the guy next to me does. I don’t look over, but I can see him out of the corner of my eye as he slowly stands up and grabs his things. He lingers momentarily before following his friends out.

I gather my belongings and make my way over to speak with the professor.

“Hi, Professor Wallace,” I say.

He smiles at me, “Hi, Lainey. Is there something I can help you with?”

I wring my hands together, “This is kind of embarrassing, but I was unable to pay attention during the lecture today because I was having a mini panic attack. Which chapters do I need to study?”

His brows bend, “Are you okay?” He seems concerned.

I nervously chuckle, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not sure what happened.” It’s a lie. I don’t want to tell him that I feel uncomfortable around a classmate and cause a scene over something that’s probably all in my head.

He nods as he writes down the chapters I need to review on a sticky note and hands it to me.

“Thank you,” I say, and make my way to my apartment .

I can tell my medicine has fully kicked in now, because I feel lighter and less paranoid. I should probably eat something so I don’t end up feeling sick.

I decide to stop by the sandwich shop before I get home. I order a turkey and provolone sub with tomatoes, spinach, banana peppers, pickles, mustard, and mayo. I also grab a fountain cola and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos , knowing I have a container of sour cream at home to dip them in.

Time to catch up on what I missed in class.