Page 18 of Just Another Meet Cute
SUBJECT: Stupid Questionnaire from Hell
Green eggs and ham.
The top of Mount Everest so I could scream my frustration at having to fill out this questionnaire.
Making a fool of myself to strangers who end up blackmailing me about it.
4.
Biggest fear/worst nightmare?
That I might have to be your butler for life.
5.
What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
Hire someone else to be your butler.
6.
What do you wish your superpower would be?
I don’t wish. I do have superpowers. I’m Batman.
7.
What’s your kryptonite?
Being in the same room with you for another second.
8.
What’s your GPA?
12.0
9.
Do you have siblings ? (Specifically, about your sort of half brother and half sister)
N/A
10.
You murdered someone and need to hide the body. Who do you call?
Ghostbusters. Because I assume I killed you and now you’re haunting me.
11.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.
12.
How many guys (or girls ) have you dated?
None of your business.
13.
Have you ever been in love?
Every time I walk past an ice cream shop.
14.
Had your heart broken?
Only when the ice cream shop is closed.
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Incredibly Creative Questionnaire from Super Brilliant Guy
Nice try. I think you’ll have to do better than that. Btw Batman doesn’t have any superpowers. He’s just rich with a ton of technology at his fingertips.
-Sent from my iPhone as I sit next to a particular twin brother.
P.S. My hand is slipping. I hope he doesn’t catch sight of my phone …
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Completed Questionnaire that better be enough to keep your mouth shut.
1.
What would your last meal be?
Pizza. Any kind as long as it doesn’t have black olives.
2.
Favorite place in the world?
Here in Austin with my family.
3.
What are your hobbies?
I don’t know. I do normal things like everyone else. Read. Watch too much TV. Not cooking though. I can’t cook.
4.
Biggest fear/worst nightmare?
Heights. And planes.
5.
What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
How big of a lottery is this? I’m assuming smaller instead of buying an island type of lottery. So … I’d buy a car.
6.
What do you wish your superpower would be?
Teleporting so I wouldn’t have to get on planes anymore.
7.
What’s your kryptonite?
Durian. One whiff of it and I’ll pass out.
8.
What’s your GPA?
Last I checked it was 3.2. I’m awesome at English but fail at calculus.
9.
Do you have siblings ? (Specifically, about your sort of half brother and sister)
Obviously, you know that I have a half brother and half sister, so this question is a bit of a waste.
10.
You murdered someone and need to hide the body. Who do you call?
My cousin, Linh. She’d be the first one there with a shovel and a list of top-five places to hide a body.
11.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.
12.
How many guys (or girls ) have you dated?
Three guys.
13.
Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
14.
Had your heart broken?
Yes. Once.
TO: [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Satisfied Questionnaire
You passed the first test. Now, about my dry cleaning …