Page 39 of Jump or Fall

Mara

G ordon took extra care on the rest of their journey, avoiding any places they might get pinned again. Even when traffic was tight, he worked his way through it rather than taking desolate side roads.

At the edge of Eight, they wheeled the bike into a tangle of heavy brush, shoving it deep enough to keep it hidden. It was too expensive to leave exposed.

Gordon let out a breath and raked a hand through his hair.

“I hope the sticks don’t scratch the paint,” he said. “Silva always jokes about getting choked out by that robot arm. Seeing it in person is a whole other thing.”

Mara fell into step beside him as they headed toward a path into Eight. “I think we’re pretty low on his kill list. Besides, hurting you would piss off Kimmie, which I think he’d prefer to avoid.”

“The night I left for Naxos, I told her to find a guy her age.” Gordon shook his head. “Now she’s hooking up with someone even older.”

Mara shrugged. “If it gets her off of you, she can fuck a grandpa.”

He shot her a crooked smile. “I like this possessive side of you, but Kimmie’s never been a threat. I’ve been crazy about you since we met.”

She laced her fingers through his as they climbed a set of stairs and wove between people. A coil of wires hung from a hook on the wall and she ducked under it .

“Hmm, unconscious and then vomiting,” she teased. “You have unusual tastes, Gordon.”

He chuckled, giving her hand a squeeze before they reached the door.

Inside, the sight of their bed was almost too inviting. Her whole body ached for it. If she gave in, she’d be out in seconds.

Using the synth-mind so soon probably hadn’t been the best idea, but it still gave them an edge. The image of the dead boy’s face appeared in her mind again and she swallowed hard, trying to bury it away.

This is how revolutions go. People get hurt.

A dull burn spread through her cheekbone. She closed her eyes against it, breathing through the discomfort.

She needed to find her salve, which meant another confrontation with the mirror.

Mara shook out her hands and entered the bathroom while Gordon rummaged through a bag for the remotes.

Her reflection wasn’t as jarring this time, but it was going to take a while to get used to her new face. At least she had the false eye now, instead of an empty socket. The scars were still ugly, and the skin irritated, but the salve provided relief.

How could Gordon look at her and think she was beautiful?

I want to believe him.

She tucked the jar into her pocket since they might not be back for a while. Tonight would be more than the trade—she could feel it.

Back in the main room, Gordon was lying back on the bed, remotes piled next to him. He had his palms pressed against his eyes.

Mara lay down beside him. It was just as comfortable as she’d imagined.

“Please, stay close tonight,” he said.

“So I can save you from stray doors?”

He lowered his hands and smiled. “Yeah. That’s why.”

Gordon turned to kiss her, his thumb brushing gently along her jawline. “You are everything to me, Mara. ”

“And you’re everything to me,” she said.

The feel of his lips against hers was too much to resist, so she pulled him in again, testing him lightly with her tongue. He eagerly opened to her, thumb still stroking her before moving down the curve of her throat. Every little movement was like electricity in her skin.

Dawson’s humiliating taunts echoed in her mind, making her wince.

Gordon sensed the change immediately and pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

She frowned, trying not to meet his eyes. “Did it bother you… the things he said?”

“Not in the way you think,” he replied.

“You really don’t think I’m a used-up whore?” Her voice cracked. “An obedient little doll broken from the inside out?”

“Look at me, Mara.” Once she met his dark eyes he continued, “You are not a doll and you are not what that piece of shit has done to you. You are the reason I breathe.” He lightly traced one of the scars around her eye with the tip of his finger.

“I would sell my fucking soul if it would heal every scar he’s left. ”

She believed him. How could she not with the way he was looking at her now? Like he saw beneath everything on the outside, leaving only the person buried under it all.

“I love you,” she said, tears threatening to emerge. The lid around her false eye stung, but the discomfort was easily forgotten once he locked his lips with hers again and ran his fingers through her hair.

The need building inside her wasn’t purely sexual. It was something deeper. A need for connection. Heat swept through her as their kiss turned almost frantic, like he felt that same ache for her.

We might lose everything tonight.

Their clothes came off in a flurry, until they were flesh against flesh, their lips still linked. Her hand trailed down his stomach until she reached his erection. With a light grip, she stroked, savoring the way he groaned into her mouth.

“I want to taste you,” he whispered against the crook of her neck. “Is that something you want?”

Her face flushed. Of all the humiliations Dawson had subjected her to, that wasn’t one of them. Lukas had done it once, but their combined inexperience had made her too nervous to enjoy it.

“You can always say no,” he murmured, sensing her apprehension. “I’ll never do something you don’t want.”

“No, I want to… I’m just unsure. You really want to do that?”

Gordon moved her onto her back and settled between her legs, his erection resting against her center. His kisses moved down her neck, then to her breasts.

“Yes,” he said before claiming her nipple with his mouth. She gasped as his teeth raked over the stiff peak.

He released her and continued down, sending her heart into her throat. They locked eyes as he reached her hips and brushed his lips along one of the scars. “You said you aren’t in your body sometimes. When does that happen?”

The question caught her off guard. “Um, I think it’s when a sensation becomes overwhelming. Or a sound. My mind will drift to something I can count, then I just… disconnect.”

“What sound?”

“His belt.” The admission left her feeling raw. She’d never had to voice what went on in her head or why. “It’s the way his metal fingers sound on it.”

“Hmm.” He positioned himself lower and gently pushed her thighs open, bearing her completely to him.

Her heart raced as she watched his mouth disappear between her legs, the heat of his tongue meeting her clit.

“Keep your eyes on me,” he said softly. “If you start to drift, just tap my arm. The moment you want me to stop, I will. You’re in control.”

“Okay,” she whispered .

Gordon moved his mouth against her with practiced ease, eyes locked on hers. Each stroke of his tongue sent waves of pleasure rippling through her, a tight coil building deep in her core.

The dripping faucet in the kitchen tugged at her, trying to dominate her senses.

Stay connected.

She tapped his arm and he lifted his head, his lips glistening.

“You’re even better than I imagined, Mara.” He slid a finger inside her and curled it, making her shudder. That’s why he told her to tap his arm. It was how he’d know when to speak, how to keep her grounded.

“Look at me,” he whispered, adding another finger and making her bite back a moan. “I want you to see just how much I meant it when I said I wanted to taste you.”

He buried his face between her legs again, but his attention was still on her face, watching every reaction.

Mara tangled her fingers in his hair. “Fuck. I’m close…”

His pace quickened and within moments she was overtaken with pleasure, grinding herself against his incredible mouth. Her legs trembled in his grasp.

He stilled, letting her ride the aftershocks down. His chin was drenched as he pulled himself up and kissed her, the taste of him mingling with her arousal.

“I want to feel your cum inside me,” she whispered against his lips. “Is that okay?”

“You can have my cum wherever the fuck you want.” He chuckled.

Mara flipped them and climbed on top, guiding him inside her. She inhaled sharply at the sudden intrusion, but that was how she wanted it this time. She didn’t need gentle.

Only us in this moment. Nothing can take me away.

The words of her tormentor were nothing. The things he’d done to crush her will—nothing.

He groaned and took hold of her waist. “You feel so fucking perfect. ”

She leaned forward, pressing her lips to Gordon’s scar as she rocked in a steady rhythm. “I’d give my other eye if it meant healing this—and take on every one of your nightmares just to bring you peace.”

The look in his eyes was soft and vulnerable as she continued, “I love the way your mouth moves, the way you make me feel alive.” She rolled her hips faster. “I love that perfect smile. I love everything about you.”

His grip tightened on her sides as he thrust to match her pace. He was always the one making sure she felt safe. Now it was her turn. The darkness that plagued him might be different from hers, but it was just as real.

Mara clutched his hair, elbows resting on his chest. “I will burn this entire world for you,” she breathed against his scarred cheek.

He rolled her onto her back, never breaking their connection. “We’ll do it together,” he groaned. “Fuck. I don’t want this to end.”

She tightened her legs around him as he drove into her, their sweat-slicked bodies moving in tandem as he finished.

When he finally collapsed against her, his breath ragged and pulses of pleasure radiating between them, she knew—whatever came next, she would never have to face it alone.