Page 32 of Jump or Fall

Mara

T here was a strange tightness in her face. Shrieks bounced around in her head.

Who was screaming?

Blood was everywhere—the coppery smell overpowering. She couldn’t breathe. It was in her nose and mouth.

Pressure on her chest.

She couldn’t move her arms. What was keeping her still?

“This time, give me a little fight.”

The screaming was her. Dawson was cutting her. She was going to die. Her face was on fire.

“Mara! It’s okay! Please! You’re safe!”

That voice. Gordon.

The burning wouldn’t stop, her whole body broke out into a sweat. Something blocked her vision on one side and she couldn’t stop shaking. Every muscle seized in agony.

It was fading. The pain was easing up.

The grip on her arms lessened, turning into gentle strokes.

“It’s just me, Mara. You’re okay.” His deep voice was so tender. It was the best sound she’d ever heard.

A sob escaped her lips as the fire in her skin subsided. The movement tugged at whatever was on her face, and she hissed .

She turned her head to see him. His hair was wild and his wonderful face looked so tired. The faint lines around his dark eyes were deeper, every feature etched with worry.

She took in the room, trying to figure out where they were. A heavy smell of antiseptic hung in the air.

A clinic.

“We’re at the clinic in Eight,” Gordon said. “The doctor gave you a SynThera infusion, so your bandage will be ready to come off soon.”

Mara reached up and lightly felt around. There were stitches in her chin, and the bandage covered most of the left side of her face.

“How did I get here?”

“Wells. He shot Max and incapacitated Knight long enough to get you out.”

“When I heard his name… I was worried he was one of them.”

Gordon stroked her hand. “I should have introduced you two, or at least told you his role. I’m sorry.”

“Was he hurt?”

“No.” After a pause he added, “He says he’s sorry.”

She frowned, but the pull on the bandage sent a sharp sting through her face, making her wince.

“If it hadn’t been him in that room, I wouldn’t be here.”

Gordon nodded silently and pressed a kiss to her hand.

She flexed her fingers and rotated her wrist. The deep bruising had begun to fade into mottled shades of yellow and brown, and the small cuts had fused into thin lines.

“He was waiting for me in my apartment,” she said faintly. “He knew what the key was because he broke it immediately.”

A sharp breath escaped her, the memory cutting deep. “He accused me of sleeping with someone else, but I denied it. I would never tell him about you.”

“Mara… ”

She continued, “Then he took me to some Surveillance office and Wells was there. Dawson ordered him to give me a stripe, then to…” Her voice wavered.

Gordon rubbed her hand tenderly with his thumb. “He told me that’s when he attacked them. If he did anything, I’ll hunt him down so you can kill him.”

“No,” she replied forcefully. “He saved my life.”

“I’m so sorry this happened,” he said, his voice weak.

She hauled herself up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, facing him. The sudden motion made her head spin, but she didn’t want to lay there anymore. “I should have listened to you.”

His voice cracked. “What?”

Tears welled in her uncovered eye, while the other burned—something was wrong with it.

Pressing a shaky palm to her forehead, she tried to steady herself as she said, “We should have left. If we had, we’d be free. We could roam from place to place, sleep under the stars… maybe find a new city.”

He pulled her close, gently pressing the uninjured side of her face to his chest. She’d never known a presence so comforting until meeting him—his warmth, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Please don’t,” he said softly. “We can still do that if it’s what you want. I love you, Mara. I’m yours forever.”

Her chest swelled with emotion. He loved her back. All of the doubt she’d carried, all the questioning—it didn’t matter anymore.

“I love you, Gordon. And I’m yours.”

He kissed the top of her head and massaged her back with slow, reassuring circles. “I have something for you.”

Reaching down, he lifted something from the floor. It was her God’s Eye helmet.

She wrapped her arms around it.

“I asked Kimmie to bring it over. I hoped it would be something nice to wake up to. ”

Mara was stunned. “Thank you. I’m surprised Kimmie would do something nice for me.”

“She’s stubborn and says stupid shit sometimes, but there’s a heart in there.”

Another wave of burning and itching started, like someone was holding a torch to her skin. She balled up her fists. “Fuck! This hurts.”

He rubbed her back again. “I know. There’s a salve that helps, but just don’t scratch. I’m sure Kaur will give you a whole talk.”

A knock at the door diverted their attention, and a woman with brown skin and a mottled scar on her chin and neck entered.

She smiled softly. “Hello, Ms. Tainan, I’m Dr. Kaur. I know it’s not a great question, but how are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over.” Another burning sensation made her gasp. “I need to get this off.”

The doctor carefully removed the bandage, and a rush of cool air soothed her healing skin. She attempted to open her left eye, but a sharp tugging pain stopped her.

She was about to touch her face, but thought better of it. “Is there a mirror?”

The doctor placed one in her hand.

Mara held it up, afraid of what she would see.

Her eye was gone. The lids, or what was left, had been pieced back together. There were three jagged vertical lines stitched closed down her face.

“He took my eye…”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Tainan. There was nothing I could do. The damage was too severe.”

An array of emotions overwhelmed her, fighting to get out. Not only was she scarred—she was half-blind. Every time she thought there was nothing more Dawson could take, he found something new .

“It’s possible to live normally with only one eye. You’ll have trouble with depth perception, but with practice, you’ll learn how to navigate safely.”

Mara had nothing to say. It was all too fresh. The only thing that had been keeping her together until meeting Gordon was her job, but now that was gone. Stuck in Eight unless she concealed her face—what kind of job could she find if they left the city? Armor had been her whole life.

Dr. Kaur set a jar on the table beside her. “You’re free to sign out when you’re ready. I’m sure Mr. Rusu has filled you in on caring for the scar—the allantoin salve will help.”

“Thank you,” she said absently.

Once the doctor left, exhaustion crashed down on her.

She ran a hand through her hair and felt a gritty texture on her fingers. “I feel like I could sleep for a month and still be tired.”

“Let’s go home and get some rest,” Gordon said.

She nodded, narrowly missing his hand when he helped her down from the bed.

Navigating outside with her limited vision was maddening. Shadows tangled across narrow paths and stairways, and she kept missing steps. If Gordon hadn’t been holding her hand, she would have tumbled down more than once.

He kicked away obstacles in her path, and every so often, the piles sent the sharp stench of spoiled trash wafting into the air.

Gordon kept her close, careful of anyone that might try to lift something from their pockets.

By the time they reached the apartment, she was ready to collapse.

“I know I’m filthy,” she said, weary, “but I don’t think I can stand long enough to shower.”

“Sheets can be washed. Just rest.”

Gordon stripped down to his boxers and gave her a kiss before retreating into the bathroom.

She would never grow tired of his affection .

A cardboard box sat on the dresser. She went to inspect it and noticed one of her shirts. Digging further, she found it was full of her clothes.

Gordon had finished in the bathroom and was behind her.

When she turned, he was scratching the back of his head nervously.

“Um, I had a friend get your clothes. I hope that was okay. I would’ve done it myself, but didn’t want to leave you.

When I had to start over in Eight, it was a pain in the ass. I figured you’d want your own things.”

She slipped her arms under his and nuzzled his bare chest. “I love you.”

He held her close, burying his face in her hair. “I love you too.”

After her turn in the bathroom, she stripped down to underwear and the hospital shirt she had been given. Sleep and the promise of Gordon were pulling her down. Finally, alone for the night with him.

She got into the bed and her last thought before drifting off was his hand entwined with hers.