Page 7 of Juke (DeLuca Brothers #4)

Sophi

I had my bonnet on, and my robe wrapped tight with my phone on speaker while I sat Indian-style in the middle of my bed.

The only thing I did this morning after Juke left was take a shower and get back in bed.

I called the girls as soon as I got settled, and we all were on FaceTime while I told them the news that I had gotten last night.

“Rio has a parole hearing coming up,” I revealed, staring at the wall like it might give me peace.

“Wait… what?” Nic’s voice cracked through first. “Did he say when?”

“No,” I mumbled.

“Girl,” Mel snapped. “What the hell?”

“How you feeling, Sophi?” Kasha asked with her voice full of concern.

I paused, then sighed. “I don’t know. Like… part of me expected it. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon.”

“Who told you?” Mel asked.

“Rashad.”

Silence.

“He said one of his people gave him the heads-up and he wanted me to know.”

“Damn,” Nic huffed

“What did he do… say?” Mel cut in.

“He said I didn’t have to go through this alone. He stayed the night and slept on the couch.” I knew they were about to make a big deal about that.

“Uh, huh,” Nic said. “You sure about that?”

I rolled my eyes. “Y’all wild.”

“Just answer the damn question.” Kasha laughed.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I muttered. “He slept on the couch all night. He didn’t come into my room until this morning, when he asked did I have an extra toothbrush.”

“I bet he wanted more than a damn toothbrush.” Mel laughed.

“Y’all… seriously. It’s not like that,” I blurted. “He just checks on me sometimes. That’s it.”

“Girl, do you hear yourself?” Nic said. “That man is texting you, calling to check on you and pulling up. Now y’all having sleepovers and shit. Who you tryna convince? You or us?”

“He doesn’t even act like he likes me like that,” I uttered.

“Some men don’t,” Kasha said. “Especially the quiet ones. They let their actions speak what their words can’t.”

“Or―” Mel added, “―he’s acting like your bodyguard ’cause he’s scared if he touches you… he might not stop.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest. “We’re just friends. He’s not looking at me like that.”

“But you’re looking at him like that?” Nic asked.

Silence.

They didn’t know how many times I stared at my door hoping he would walk his fine ass inside.

I stood in the kitchen a little longer this morning just to catch the fainted scent of his cologne.

I couldn’t count how many times my fingers hovered over his contact sometimes, contemplating calling or texting him.

“Y’all crazy.” I smiled a little.

“Mhmm,” Kasha added. “But we’re right.”

“Okay, fine. Y’all ain’t like that and are just friends, but let’s backtrack real quick,” Nic added.

“What now?” I groaned.

“How do you really feel about Rio possibly getting out?”

The question hit me like a blow to my chest. Not because I didn’t expect it, but because I’d been avoiding it.

“I’m scared,” I whispered. “I don’t care how long it’s been. I still remember what it felt like.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “The way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me… like I was his to break.”

“Girl…” Mel’s voice came out low and warm. “You don’t owe that nigga shit. He damn sure don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone walk free.”

“You need a plan,” Nic said.

“I know,” I whispered. “But what kind of plan do you make when you don’t know where to start or who to turn to?”

“You got us,” Kasha said. “And you got Juke.”

“That’s the part that’s confusing.” I swallowed.

“What’s confusing?” Mel asked.

“Rashad. The way he looks at me sometimes. The way he just… shows up. But he doesn’t make any moves. He doesn’t flirt, or try anything—just sits there and lingers around like I’m his job.”

“Maybe that is him making his move,” Nic said. “Maybe loyalty is his love language.”

I let out a shaky laugh. “He must love hard as hell then.”

“He does,” Kasha countered. “You can see it on his face.”

“But what am I supposed to do about it?” I asked. “What if I say something and it ruins everything? Or worse… what if I lean into it and I lose myself again? I can’t afford to hand my heart to the wrong man. Not twice.”

“Then don’t hand it,” Mel said. “Let him earn it.”

“And in the meantime,” Nic added, “don’t play about you. If you’re scared, say it. If you need us, say it. If you want that man… say it. Closed mouths don’t get kissed.”

“I’ll think about it.” I simpered.

“You’re always thinking,” Nic said. “Maybe it’s time you acted.”

As I listened to their advice, my mind drifted to Rashad.

That man moved quiet, but his presence always echoed.

It lingered like heat from a fire that never went out.

He didn’t ask me deep questions, or force me to talk.

He just showed up and stayed close. He made sure I felt safe in a world that never gave a damn if I was.

“You good over there?” Mel asked. “You zoned out on us.”

“I was just thinking.”

“About that man.” Kasha smirked. “We ain’t slow.”

I rolled my eyes and shifted on the bed. “Y’all are so annoying.”

“You love us, though,” Mel said, “almost as much as Nic love keeping secrets.”

Nic scoffed. “What I do?”

“You still ain’t told Buck,” Kasha asked.

“Told Buck what?” I asked, brows pulling together.

“Her ass over there pregnant as hell,” Mel blurted.

“Bitch, don’t be putting that in the air.” Nic snapped.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be putting yo’ legs in the air.” Kasha clapped back.

“Y’all doing the most,” Nic grumbled. “I just been feeling off… that’s it.”

“Off how?” Mel asked.

“Tired. Nauseous. I threw up yesterday ’cause Buck was eating something that smelled like ass.”

“Girl,” Mel said, cackling, “yo’ ass is good and pregnant.”

“She got real quiet when he said it last week, too,” Kasha interjected. “I think he knows.”

“He don’t know shit.” Nic huffed. “All he said was, ‘Damn Goldie, that ass getting fatter than a muthafucka’.” She rolled her eyes.

“He’s not wrong,” I teased.

“I hate all y’all,” she muttered. “I’m taking the damn test today.”

“You better before Buck packs a bag and moves in with his mama.”

“He already said he was,” Nic admitted. “Talking ’bout I’m being mean to him and acting like I’on love him no more.”

The group exploded in laughter, because that definitely sounded like something he would say. We laughed it off and changed the subject to celebrity drama and what we were planning for the rest of our day until we hung up. Not long after I hung up with the girls, my phone rang, and it was my mama.

A smile formed on my face before I answered, “Hey, mama.”

“Hey, baby girl,” she answered, her voice all sweet and bubbly. “I was just sitting here thinking about you.”

“I’m good,” I lied.

“Mhm,” she hummed. “You sound tired.”

“I’m alright. It’s been a long day.”

She exhaled. “I’m glad you’re closer to your cousins now. That’s been real good for you, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said, eyes drifting around the room. “They’ve been keeping me sane. I’m close with their wives, so that’s a plus.”

She paused for a second, then her tone dipped playfully. “So… anybody catch your eye out there yet?”

“Mama…” I groaned.

“Don’t ‘Mama’ me. You know I got to ask.”

I chuckled. “There’s this one guy. His name’s Rashad.”

“Oohh?” she drew out. “And what does Rashad do?”

“He’s a boxer,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. “He’s kind of quiet. We’re just friends, though.”

“Mhm. Just friends, but I can hear the smile in your voice when you mentioned his name.”

“It ain’t like that.”

“Well, sounds like a good man,” she said. “Ain’t nothing wrong with taking it slow. But don’t shut the door on something real just because you scared.”

She didn’t know how real the fear was. She didn’t know why I left. To her, I was just starting fresh, and moving closer to family. And that’s all I wanted her to know. I was always close to her sister, Aunt Shaunie, so it made sense.

“Yeah,” I murmured. “I hear you.”

She told me about church last Sunday, and how Miss Jean fainted trying to outshout Miss Mary. I laughed so hard I was crying, and then I heard his voice in the background.

“Is that my baby girl?”

“Hey, Daddy.” I smiled.

“You alright?” he asked. “You need anything?”

“No, Daddy,” I confirmed. “I don’t need anything.”

He grunted. “You staying safe? Your cousins watching out for you?”

“Always.”

“You need anything, you call me. I don’t care what time it is.”

“I know, Daddy,” I mumbled. “I love you.”

“Love you too, baby girl. Let me give you back to your mama. She’s over here looking like she’s about to beat my ass.”

She snatched the phone back with a laugh. “Alright now. I’ll let you go. You call us tomorrow, you hear me?”

“I will.”

“And tell that Rashad boy I said he better keep his hands to himself.”

“Mama!”

“I’m just playing… kinda.” She laughed.

I hung up with a smile, but when the screen went dark, the room felt heavy again.

They didn’t know, and I wasn’t ready to tell them… not yet.

***

“You wearing that to the store?” Rio’s voice boomed from the doorway.

I was at the dresser grabbing my keys. I didn’t turn around because I was too scared to. “It’s just leggings and a hoodie.”

“Tight ass leggings,” he said as he crept up behind me. “You tryna get attention or something? You forget who you belong to?”

My throat tightened. “I don’t belong to anybody.”

I knew the second the words left my mouth that I’d fucked up.

No sooner than the words left my mouth, his hand was connecting with the side of my face.

The slap rang out loud, bouncing off the walls.

My head jerked to the side, and I tasted metal.

I gasped, reaching for the doorframe to steady myself, but he was already grabbing me, gripping me by the face.

“Say it again,” he snarled, breath reeking of liquor.

His fingers dug into my jaw, thumb pressing into my cheekbone so hard I thought it might crack. My eyes watered, but that only seemed to only fuel his rage.

“I said, say it again! I dare you!” he barked.

“I didn’t mean it,” I whispered, voice cracking. “I swear—”

His nostrils flared as he stared at me, breathing heavy through his nose like a charging bull. “You’re mine, Sophi. Mine. Ain’t nobody else looking at you. Ain’t no one else touching you. You understand that shit?”

I couldn’t answer. All I could do was nod.

He let go, shoving me back. I stumbled and caught myself on the nearby wall, chest heaving, eyes burning, but still not crying. Crying always made it worse.

“Go change,” he demanded. “’Fore I do that shit for you.” He turned away, pacing like he was calming himself down. “You wanna be a ho so bad, I can treat you like one.”

I stood frozen, hands shaking, heart pounding loud in my ears.

This wasn’t the first time he said or done things like this, and deep down, I knew it wouldn’t be the last. I thought if I just didn’t push him, if I stayed quiet, if I played my role right…

maybe he’d stop. Maybe love was supposed to hurt a little.

I didn’t realize until later that pain was the only language he ever spoke.

I sat straight up, trying to catch my breath with my hands clawing at the sheets like they were restraints. Sweat drenched my skin while tears streamed down my face. My whole body trembled like it was still caught in that nightmare.

“Sophi… Sophi!”

Rashad’s voice cut through the air like a saw.

I blinked hard, and the dark blur of the room suddenly shifted as the lamp on the nightstand clicked on.

I looked to the side of me, and Rashad was kneeling beside the bed, shirtless, and his eyes locked on mine.

His hands hovered just a few inches from me, like he was ready to catch me but scared to startle me.

“Sophi…” he called out. “Look at me, mama.”

Turning to face him, he looked at me full of concern.

“I couldn’t breathe,” I choked out. “I—I was back there. He grabbed me. Screaming at me. I could feel it, Rashad. Like it was happening all over again.”

His jaw ticked hard, and his nostrils flared. The muscles in his cheek flexed like he was holding back his rage.

“You ain’t there no more. You hear me? That shit ain’t real. You ain’t gotta worry ’bout that nigga no more… not while I’m here.”

I wrapped my arms around myself like I could hold all the pieces together, but I was shattering.

I was tired of feeling like this… like I was drowning.

Rashad didn’t speak as he climbed onto the bed.

He sat behind me and wrapped both arms around my body, pulling me into his chest like he was trying to shield me from everything that ever hurt me.

I broke right there in his arms. My tears soaked into his skin, my fingers clutching his forearm like it was the only thing keeping me from falling off the edge.

“I got you,” he whispered against my temple. “You hear me? Ain’t nobody touching you, or hurting you. You can trust that.”

My only response was to cry harder, my face buried in his bare chest, feeling the heat of his skin and the strength of his arms wrapped tight around me.

“You’re safe, Sophi,” he assured. “He’s not getting near you. Not while I’m here.”

His tone shifted like he meant every word he spoke.

I nodded slowly, still trembling.

The steady thump of his heart in my ear anchored me. It made the room feel real. It made me feel protected. After a while, he loosened his hold, shifting like he was about to get off the bed.

“I’ma let you rest,” he mumbled.

“Don’t,” I pleaded, clutching his wrist. “Can you… stay? In here with me?”

His eyes softened, but he didn’t say a word—just nodded and moved without hesitation.

“Yeah,” he murmured, pulling the covers back and sliding in beside me.

I scooted over, and he followed, his body sinking into me instantly. He didn’t hesitate to reach for me, pulling me into him, one arm across my waist, the other tucked under my head like a pillow. I let myself melt into it… into him. His grip was firm, but not tight. Protective, not possessive.

“Go to sleep,” he uttered. “I’m right here, and I’ain going nowhere.”

I didn’t answer because I knew that even in my most broken moment…

even when I couldn’t stand on my own… Rashad showed up, and he held every piece of me like it was worth protecting.

In a world that never felt safe… that meant everything, because somehow, in his silence, I found peace, and for the first time in a long time, I let myself believe it.