Page 25 of Juke (DeLuca Brothers #4)

Janessa ‘Nessa’ Marshall

Sometimes I wondered if I was the stupid one.

If maybe I was crazy for still thinking about a man who made it clear, over and over, that I was never gone be more than a nut to him.

Rashad Lawson had a way of making you feel like the only woman in the room.

Strong hands on your waist, voice low in your ear, and eyes so sharp you swore he was cutting straight through your soul.

He gave me that more than once, left me breathless and thinking maybe I was different, but then he’d send me home before the sun came up, or roll over and tell me to lock the door on my way out.

Never once did he handle me the way I’ve seen him handle Sophi.

He gave her a softness I thought he didn’t have.

The kind of attention I used to dream about, so yeah, it burned.

Burned bad enough to make me hate her ass, but hate wasn’t enough to let him walk blind into a setup.

Not when it was my brother plotting with Rio to take him out.

That’s why I went to the gym, swallowed my pride, and told Juke what I knew.

Whatever feelings I had… whatever jealousy still sat heavy in my chest didn’t mean I wanted to see him dead.

He told me to get out when I finished talking, like I was the dirt under his shoe, and maybe I was, but still, I walked out with my head high, because I knew I did the right thing…

even if it meant watching him keep giving to another woman everything he’d never give to me.

I went against my blood brother for Juke.

Me and Boom grew up in the same house, same chaos, same drunk ass mama yelling at us when she was drunk.

He’d been the one to make sure I ate, the one to square up with anybody at school that tried me, and the one who told me I was worth more than what I saw every day, but blood ain’t that simple.

At least not with him. Boom was stubborn as hell, hot-headed, and reckless.

He moved through the world like it owed him something, and he never thought about who got burned in the crossfire.

That’s the part of him I hated. And now? He was in too deep with Rio.

Rio wasn’t just another street nigga flexing.

He had a mean streak. I’ve seen and felt it when he got mad at me for even mentioning Juke’s name.

The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t playing when he said he wanted Sophi back and he’d kill anybody in the way.

That anybody was Juke. I couldn’t be a part of that.

No matter how much I wanted to deny it, Juke wasn’t just some random fling I could erase.

He was the one I wanted, even if he never wanted me back.

The thought of seeing him laid out because my brother backed the wrong nigga?

That wasn’t something I could live with.

Boom wouldn’t see it that way, though. He’ll see me as a traitor.

He’d accuse me choosing another man over family…

and maybe I was, but what was I supposed to do?

Pretend I didn’t hear Rio plotting? Sit quiet while Boom nodded along like it was all good?

That wasn’t loyalty… that was suicide, so I made my choice.

Even if it meant losing my brother. That’s why I was on my way to see him, and hopefully I could talk him out of this shit.

He was already in over his head with this rematch, especially since Juke already beat his ass for free.

When I got to his spot, he was leaning against the counter, rolling up like he didn’t have a care in the world, and maybe he didn’t. I stepped in and closed the door, already feeling the tension creeping up my spine.

“We need to talk,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Talk about what? Don’t start yo’ shit, Nessa.”

“About this shit with Juke and Rio. This ain’t it, Cardell. You letting that nigga drag you into something that’s only gonna end one way.”

“You siding with that nigga Juke after all the bullshit he put you through?” he snarled.

“I’ain siding with nobody,” I shot back. “I’m siding with survival. Rio don’t care shit about you, Cardell. He don’t care about me. He only cares about what he wants, and you letting him use you to get it.”

His eyes went hard. “Shit, don’t matter. He wants what he wants, and I want what’s mine. Juke been a thorn in my side for years. This is overdue.”

“You don’t see it, do you? You keep pushing this, you gone end up dead, and I’ain watching that happen.” I shook my head.

Boom pushed off the counter, stepping up close. “Then you better figure out where you stand, sis. ’Cause there ain’t no middle ground. You either with me… or you ain’t.”

The words cut deeper than I wanted them to. For a second, I just stared at him, my brother, the same boy who used to slip extra food on my plate when Mama forgot was now standing here asking me to choose between blood and common sense.

“I’m choosing whatever side keeps me alive.” I forced out.

“Say less.”

I didn’t give him the chance to say anything else.

I grabbed my bag, turned on my heels, and walked out, my heart hammering the entire way back to the car.

Driving to the Airbnb, the weight of his words pressing heavy on me.

He wasn’t bluffing… he meant that shit. I told myself it was the right thing…

the only thing, but deep down, it felt like I had just lost him.

By the time I pulled up to the Airbnb, my chest was tight from the argument with Boom. I stepped inside, set my bag down, and Rio was posted on the couch, eyes following me like he’d been waiting.

“Where you been?” He interrogated.

“I went to see my brother,” I said, keeping my tone even.

He stood and followed me, slow but steady. “Where else you been?”

I turned, meeting his glare. “What you doing? Taking a census or some shit? Asking all these gah damn questions like I owe you anything?” I shook my head. “You’re not my man, Rio., and I damn sure ain’t Sophi.”

That set him off. He grabbed my jaw hard, squeezing until it hurt.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth,” he hissed.

I tried to push his hand off, but he was stronger. My voice came out strained. “Get the fuck off me. You tripping.”

His eyes narrowed. “What were you doing at Juke’s gym?”

“What?” I played dumb.

“I followed you,” he admitted with a sinister smile. “I took an Uber and sat back and watched you. You think I wouldn’t find out? You tryna play me for that nigga?”

Panic twisted in my gut. I tried to think fast. “I just wanted to see him without Sophi around. That’s all.” I lied.

His smirk vanished, replaced by rage. His hand shifted from my jaw to my throat, squeezing tighter, lifting me until my feet barely touched the floor. “You went to warn that nigga?” His voice boomed through the small room. “You playing me like I’m clown ass nigga?”

I clawed at his wrist, choking, gasping for air. “Rio… please…”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “You wanted to see him, right? Bet he won’t have to worry ’bout seeing yo’ ass no more.”

The pressure around my throat crushed everything.

My vision blurred, spots of black closing in.

My lungs screamed, and my body thrashed weakly.

It was at that moment I knew… I was going to die.

The fight drained out of me. My hands slipped from his wrist, while my body went limp as the darkness succumbed everything around me.