Page 7 of Journey To Sunrise (Protectors of Jasper Creek #6)

Chapter Four

Chloe

Judy’s words were still reverberating through my head.

Nobody had put a gun in my mouth. He wouldn’t have done that because it would have blocked out my screams. That’s what he’d wanted.

He’d wanted me to cry and moan and scream so that Evie would hear me and do anything he asked.

If I had been stronger, I would have stayed quiet.

I should have stayed strong. But the pain…

“Chloe? Cupcake? Can you hear me?”

Zarek was sitting on the sofa. My foot was in his lap.

When had that happened?

Absently, I noted that my heel was bandaged, and now I saw that he was stroking my foot, caressing it.

Shouldn’t that feel good?

Shouldn’t I feel something?

“Aw, Baby, you’re really out of it, aren’t you?”

“I guess so,” I admitted softly. I’d been gone a long time.

When I’d woken up in the hospital, it had been like there was some kind of barrier all around me.

I’d liked it. I didn’t feel pain, I didn’t cry and I definitely didn’t scream.

Those few times when I felt some emotion start to come close to the surface, like when I spoke to Evie, I would grab the bedsheet and wrap it tight around me, like a cocoon, and it would block out reality.

By the time I left the hospital, it was like the sheet was inside my head, blocking everything out.

But right now, I was having trouble blocking out Zarek.

He continued to rub my foot. I looked at him and saw his concern. He was smiling. That was odd.

“Do you have a question?”

He’d always been able to read me, but I was surprised that there was any expression for him to take note of.

“You’re smiling.”

“Of course I am. You’ve given me a chance to get up and personal with your pretty feet, why wouldn’t I be smiling?”

What is he talking about?

I tried to pull away from him, but he did something with his thumb to the arch of my uninjured foot. My toes curled, and a sharp sensation knifed through my body.

I jerked my foot away from him and scrabbled backward on the couch, until I hit the arm.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No! It felt good. That’s worse.”

He looked at me, his green eyes dark.

“Chloe, why is feeling good something bad?”

I swung my legs over the side of the sofa and limped over to one of the armchairs. “Numb. I like numb.” I wrapped my arms around myself and hunched over as I huddled deeper into the chair.

Zarek sighed. He was watching me as if I were some bug under a microscope to analyze.

“Stop looking at me.” Was that my voice sounding so desperate? I swallowed and tried again. “Don’t you have something else to do?” I asked in a monotone.

“I’ll start a fire. You’re cold.” He got up from the couch. I could have sworn he muttered something about having to go naked.

“Did you say something?”

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a bland look. “Nothing.” He crouched before the hearth and started the fire.

It seemed odd that a firefighter would actually be setting a fire.

I remembered back to when he’d been twelve and he’d first said that was what he wanted to be when he grew up.

I never doubted that he would do it. I hadn’t known what I wanted to be, but one teacher convinced me to believe in myself.

Mrs. Pearsall had taken me aside in fourth grade and told me that I was special.

Back then, she was the only person who had ever believed in me.

Me. Just me. Not me and Zoe. Not one of the Avery twins.

Just me.

She’d be pretty disappointed in me now.

“You’re thinking pretty hard over there.”

I frowned. The fire was blazing. Shit . How had that happened. I hated that I kept losing time.

“Chloe?”

“What?”

“I said you’re thinking pretty hard.”

“I’m not thinking about anything.”

“Whatever.” Eyes too knowing roved over my face. I turned away to look at the back of the chair, then flinched when I heard a knock. I twisted around to look at the door. Zarek saw the look on my face and crouched down in front of me. He whispered his finger down the side of my face.

“What’s wrong, Cupcake?”

He started calling me that when he was twenty and I was fifteen. He’d seen me steal Zoe’s cupcake and eat it. I’d liked the nickname then. Now it was making me uncomfortable. A second knock on the door made my whole body jerk.

“Chloe, what is it? What’s wrong?”

I wanted to cry. To die. How humiliating that a simple knock on the door was so horrifying. The bad men at the cabin had knocked on the door. They’d said they were lost. Lacy had answered the door.

“Make the knocking stop,” I pleaded, sounding like a child.

When Zarek made a move to stand up, I grabbed his arm. “Be careful,” I hissed.

“Are you scared?”

I shook my head.

“It’s just someone delivering the food. But I’ll make sure it’s them. I won’t open the door until I check, okay?”

I gripped his forearm; the muscle was like steel. He could protect me. Couldn’t he? Slowly, I nodded my head. He brushed a kiss across my hair.

I watched every step he took and shuddered in relief when he looked through the peephole.

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a thumbs-up.

Even better, he didn’t let the man into the room.

Zarek just signed something and took the tray from him, then closed and locked the door.

I knew the door was locked, because I watched him do it.

“Honey, I cooked!” he said in a sing-song voice.

I went back over to the couch and sat down, then Zarek walked over and kneed the ottoman over in front of me so he could set down the tray of food.

Zarek watched me staring at it.

“You liked the pineapple smoothie. You’ll like this too.” Zarek’s tone was coaxing..

I felt overwhelmed at the sight of all the food. He was asking too much of me.

“You need to eat.”

“I’m really not that hungry,” I told him as I looked at the food then back at Zarek who was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, on the other side of the ottoman.

“I was afraid you would say that, so I provided incentive. They didn’t have any cupcakes, but they did have chocolate cake.

I got ice cream to go with it. You can start with dessert.

At this point I don’t care what you eat, just as long as you eat something.

” He gave me that Zarek charming smile, but it wasn’t working.

Even looking at food that should be appealing, wasn’t.

“Chloe,” his voice was deeper. “You’ve lost weight. You had trouble walking up the stairs to get here. You have the strength of a baby bird. Is that the woman you want to be?”

He picked up a fork. Then he grasped my hand and wrapped it around the utensil. “Are you going to eat, or do you want me to feed you?”

I went to cut off a piece of cake and saw my hand tremble. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. He was right, I was weak.

“Let me help you,” he said gently.

“I can do it myself,” I snapped.

Dammit, where had that come from? I didn’t want to let him get under my skin. That meant that I was feeling something. Feeling something was bad. I took a deep breath. “I mean, I’m fine, just give me a moment.”

He eyed me, then nodded. I took a bite of the cake, then grimaced. It was too rich. I continued to chew then swallowed. Oh God, was I going to throw up? Then it was like Zarek read my mind, because he handed me a frosty glass.

“It’s Seven-Up. It’ll settle your stomach.”

I took a big gulp. Then set down the glass and covered my mouth. I let out a belch, and I felt my face get red.

“Chloe, you can’t be embarrassed, that was the most ladylike burp in the history of mankind.

” I turned away to look at the back of the couch.

It wasn’t the burp, it was the fact that I was upset that I was weak, and now I was embarrassed.

I closed my eyes, and saw black, but tried to imagine the white of the sheet in my head.

“Chloe, talk to me.”

My stomach growled.

“You’re hungry, that’s good. Please eat something. If not for yourself, then for my peace of mind. You’re killing me.”

White, I needed to find the numbness of white.

“Chloe, you need to eat.” He was no longer cajoling or tempting. Now he sounded like a man used to being obeyed. All of it was grating on my last nerve. I tried to tune him out.

“Cupcake―”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I haven’t seen you in three years, you don’t get to barge in and try to take over.” I yelled the words into the back of the sofa.

“If you’re mad at me, you’re going to have to look at me.”

His tone was reasonable. It turned up the heat of my temper.

“No, I don’t. Quit bossing me around!” I whipped around to glare at him. “Zarek Andrew Post, you are an asshole! You don’t understand a goddamn thing. You can’t waltz in here and think you know what’s best for me. I know what I need. I need to be left alone.”

“Being left alone isn’t cutting it. You need counseling. You need help.”

“If I needed help, you’d be the last fucking person on earth I’d run to. You turned your back on all of us lowly Tennessee types years ago.”

Oh God, was I crying? I was. I swiped at my eyes so I could see him clearly. He just sat there and took what I was dishing out.

“Are you done yet?”

I was breathing hard, and my head hurt. If it weren’t for those two things I could have gone on for hours.

“Can’t you see this won’t work? Let me go back to my house. You’ve done your charity work. I’m all squeaky clean, I’ll open the windows and clean the house. You can go back to your high-class life in Dallas and be the mighty fireman. I’m all better now. Are you happy?”

“I’m happy that you’re yelling and seem a little more like my Chloe, but hearing that you think I’ve abandoned you for some exciting life in the city hurts.”

“Well, didn’t you?”

* * *

Zarek

I watched her with a practiced eye. Her breathing was shallow, the pulse in her neck was going twice as fast as it should, and beads of perspiration dotted her forehead. I needed to get her to calm down. I needed a diversion.

“How’s Drake? You told me about the big reunion. It was pretty dramatic, but how’s he doing now?”

She looked at me like I’d grown a second head.

“Seriously, we’re in the middle of a fight and you’re asking about my big brother?”

“If I suggested you calm down, I figured you might hit me. You’re not in the correct head space to listen to why I moved to Dallas, so that was out.”

“What do you mean I’m not in the correct headspace? My headspace is fine!” she shouted.

“I rest my case,” I said, keeping a straight face. “So how is Drake? I remember you had a lot of dreams built up about him. You and your sisters thought he could walk on water.”

She scowled at me. “You know he was special. Think about all the money he sent to us. It wasn’t his fault that he was forced to leave Tennessee and join the military when he was eighteen. He was framed. He did more for me and my sisters than anybody could have ever asked.”

“That’s what I mean. You had him up on a pedestal. What was it like when he came home? Did he live up to your expectations?”

A dreamy expression crossed Chloe’s face, then it tightened and I knew she was thinking about her shitty parents who were both now in prison.

“Concentrate on Drake, Chloe.”

She blew out a breath.

“I fucking hate my parents.”

“There’s a lot of that going around. But you and your siblings are something else. Knowing where you came from, the mountain you had to climb, makes it all the more amazing.”

“Drake fell in love with a kindergarten teacher. It took him less than a week to sweep her off her feet. That’s how Trenda tells it. Evie says that Karen swept Drake off his feet.”

I snorted. “Does it really matter who does the sweeping?”

“I’m just glad that Drake is getting his happily-ever-after. As long as the baby is okay. The doctors say that if she stays on bed rest, everything should be fine.”

“They’re planning the wedding for six weeks after she gives birth, right?”

“They were planning it for her eighth month. Can you believe that Drake thought that would be romantic?! Karen was having a fit. She says that is the only good thing that is coming out of the forced bedrest. Now she won’t have to wear a maternity wedding dress.”

I chuckled softly. I was happy to note that Chloe’s pulse had slowed and her breathing was back to normal.

“The ice cream’s melted,” I observed.

She looked down at the bowls filled with liquid vanilla cream.

“Did the soda settle your stomach? Can you eat a little something?”

“I’ll try.” She picked up the sandwich and opened it up. She grimaced and pulled out the tomato. This time I laughed. If she was still a picky wench, there was definitely hope. But I knew we were still deep in the woods, and this would be a long road.

After depositing the offending vegetable on the plate, she took a small bite and chewed slowly.

“Quit putting me under a microscope and eat your damn sandwich,” she scowled at me.

Grinning, I picked up her discarded tomato and added it to my club sandwich and took a healthy bite. It was good, and I had finished half of mine by the time she had finished three small bites.

“More Seven-Up?”

She took the proffered glass and drank. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to finish much more than this. What’s more, I can’t deal with the cake,” she said on a yawn. “I’m tired. Let’s choose rooms.”

“Chloe, how many hours a day have you been sleeping?”

“I don’t know, maybe two naps a day.”

“How many hours total?”

“It depends, maybe sixteen.”

Just another sign of depression. “Can you try not to take a nap?” I coaxed.

I watched her eyes droop. “I’m really tired,” she said quietly. “Did you pack my sweats?”

“Shit, I left the bags in the truck. I’ll be back in a minute. Will you be all right while I’m gone?”

She nodded sleepily. I gave her a sharp glance, but she seemed so tired, that I felt I could leave her for the five minutes it would take to go to the truck.

“I’ll be right back.”