Page 11 of Journey To Sunrise (Protectors of Jasper Creek #6)

Chapter Eight

Zarek

Luke saw me waiting outside our lieutenant’s office and sidled up to me.

“What did she think of the daffodils?”

“Uhhhm…”

“She busted your chops?” Luke guessed.

“Something like that,” I admitted.

“So, when am I going to meet her?”

“I don’t know.” I thought about the woman I’d spent the last four days with at my house.

She had been like a ghost. I should never have given her the password to my Wi-Fi.

All she seemed to do was play Candy Crush.

Her social interaction seemed limited to my dog.

Luckily, I had gotten her to eat a little bit.

But the woman I had seen signs of, on the trip back from Jasper Creek, had disappeared. Something needed to give.

“What’s going on?”

“For a while she seemed to be coming out of her shell. She was responding to things and talking. Hell, she even smiled. Three times. But then she just crawled back under a rock for the last four days. I guess I should be happy she likes the food I cook. As long as it has cheese in it.”

“What shook her up before?”

“Arguments with her sisters.”

“Zarek, you’ve talked about Chloe for years. I’ve kind of got my own opinions of what makes this girl tick, what she’s like. I have a question for you. The Chloe that you know, would she go into mental hiding after being beaten and traumatized, or would she come out fighting?”

I looked at Luke. I didn’t just blow off my friend’s question. Luke had been through the fire, so to speak. He was someone who freely admitted to nightmares and struggles with PTSD because of the survivor’s guilt he carried. He understood people’s psyches better than a lot of psychologists.

“I would have said that Chloe would have had a big ole ‘fuck you’ to everyone after she got her sea legs under her and moved on. Her childhood was fucking hell, Luke, but she rose above that and was making something of herself.”

“So, this is more than the trauma of just the beating.”

“This wasn’t just a fucking beating, she was tortured and hospitalized.” I hissed out.

“Easy.” Luke placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m not trying to make light of this. Not at all.

But I’m saying your girl could have gotten over a physical assault.

Something has got her mentally and emotionally twisted up.

You know her. Hell, you’ve been talking to me about her for years.

She’s had you mentally and emotionally twisted up forever.

But that’s a conversation for another day.

So, back to Chloe, what really has her fucked up? ”

“Luke, Zarek, are you here to see me?”

We turned to see Henry Sykes striding towards us on the way to his office.

“I’m just taking off. It was Zarek who wanted to talk to you,” Luke said.

* * *

Zarek

I thought about Luke’s words all the way home.

I’d requested two more days off, then I was going back to regular rotation.

With those two days, I intended to have a come-to-Jesus talk with my girl.

Of course, if you intended to blindside someone, you needed to come bearing gifts.

I looked at the bakery box on the passenger seat of my truck.

I had picked up some cupcakes from a bakery I’d heard one of the guys raving about. His sister owned it.

As I pulled into the garage, I watched the door to the kitchen open. I was surprised that Chloe had come out of the den to greet me.

“Is everything okay?”

“You said you’d be home at four. It’s four thirty.” She had a death grip on Slayer’s collar. I held onto the bakery box and studied Chloe’s expression. I couldn’t tell if she was mad or scared or a combination of the two.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I brought a peace offering.”

“You should have called.”

Scared. She was scared. She backed up to let me into the house, and I put the bakery box onto the counter. “Can I have a hug?” I asked.

“Zarek, this isn’t going to work. The first time you leave you promised you were going to be home at a certain time, and then you’re not.

I need to go home.” Her face was tense.

The house was miserably hot—she’d turned off the air conditioning, and she was still wearing her ETSU sweatshirt.

I glanced down at Slayer, and his tongue was hanging out and he was panting something fierce.

“Let’s get you some cold water, boy.”

“I already did,” Chloe said.

“So, you realize it’s a sauna in here?”

“I was cold,” she said defensively.

“Look, Chloe, I need a cool shower, then we can have a treat and talk, okay?” I really didn’t want to argue, I wanted to have a calm conversation, but if it was a hundred degrees and Chloe was snapping at me, it wouldn’t go over well.

“I’m going to the den.”

“Just be ready to talk after dinner,” I warned.

* * *

Chloe

For the first time in forever, Candy Crush on my phone wasn’t getting the job done.

Usually it sanded my brain smooth—just swipe, match three, don’t think.

Line up colors, chase the little explosions, watch the candy rain and the score bar creep rightward.

Faster. Faster. Orange to orange. Blue to blue.

Make a stripe, pop a wrap, detonate a color bomb.

Keep my thumb moving. Don’t let thoughts catch up.

Jelly, licorice, cascades—just noise and sugar and motion.

But tonight, the moves kept stalling, my thumb hovering over the screen while my head crowded in. The board pulsed, waiting for me to swipe, and I stared at all that pink and blue and green like it was supposed to blur everything else out. It didn’t.

I kept hearing Slayer’s breathing. Finally, I got up and put him out of the room and shut the door.

“There. That should do it.”

I went back to the phone and tried to get into the zone. But I kept hearing Zarek’s ominous words. I didn’t want to talk. I knew what that meant. It meant thinking and feeling.

Fish or cut bait.

It had been Old Man Ayers who had told me that saying.

It was relevant now. Candy Crush was getting boring.

I looked down at my arm and knew that cutting was out of the question, so fishing was what I needed to do.

But I didn’t know how. I had a freshly minted master’s degree in physical therapy.

But I also had inherited a boatload of money, so I didn’t have to work for a few years, but that was stupid.

I was stupid.

So stupid.

The haze of the phone screen and the candy was even blurrier. That was when I realized I was crying.

Dammit . I needed to get my shit together. I shoved the phone away and rested my head against the arm of the chair. I needed to sleep, but the bedroom was too far away. Licorice and chocolate floated past my closed eyelids as I drifted off to sleep.

***

Zarek

I didn’t want to wake her up. My instinct was to carry her to bed and let her go to sleep, but I couldn’t. Wednesday, I was going to a twenty-four-hour shift and I wanted to get her some coverage before I left her. Slayer wasn’t going to cut it.

She must have sensed my hand hovering over her shoulder because her eyes opened.

“Hi.” She gave a ghost of a smile.

“Hi. You ready for dinner? I’ve got cheese sauce for the broccoli.”

“You went to the station today. I should have made food,” she said as she shoved up from the chair, her phone falling to the floor.

“I didn’t ask you to come to Dallas so you could cook.” I followed her into the dining room and noted that she wasn’t favoring her injured foot in the slightest.

“Thank God, cooking has never been my thing. Even when I was firing on all cylinders, mac and cheese was usually as good as it got. Zoe was the chef.”

“I remember.”

It gave me hope to hear her talk about herself not firing on all cylinders. It was the most self-aware statement she’d made since I’d found her in bed back in Jasper Creek. Maybe this conversation would go better than I’d been thinking it would.

“How did you become such a good cook?” Chloe asked.

Another good sign, she was asking questions.

“We take turns at the station. One of the older guys named Gus, he’s close to retirement, is a great cook.

He made sure that when it wasn’t his turn to cook, that the rest of us could produce a good meal.

The hard part is learning how to make something for just one or two people. ”

“What do you mean?” Chloe asked as I forked two slices of ham onto her plate.

“At the station I cook for fifteen grown men and women. Here, I’m just cooking for me. So, I screwed up the first couple of times I tried to reduce the recipes. I ended up with enough spaghetti for five nights the first time I made it here at home.”

When I poured the cheese sauce on her broccoli, she motioned for me to scoop another spoonful. I laughed. “Like cheese much?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to eat.”

“Touché. But you’re still only eating half the calories your body needs.”

She set down her fork and looked at me with hurt eyes. “I’m better than I was.”

“You’re locked away or huddled on the chair in my office most of the day playing on your phone. You don’t talk. Your sisters call. Not just Trenda and Zoe, but Maddie, Evie, Piper, and even Drake has called. You won’t talk to any of them.”

“I don’t have anything to say.” I could barely hear her. Dammit, she had just been interacting, now she had crawled back in her shell. So much for hope.

“Chloe. You need help. Real help.”

“You told Trenda that I needed time, space, and care. I heard you.”

“Well, I’ve given you time and space, now you need care.”

Her eyes flashed. “What are you going to do, drag me to a doctor?”

“You just admitted that you aren’t firing on all cylinders. Aren’t you getting tired of that?” She opened her mouth to lie to me. Before she could, I held up my hand and said a phrase from when we were kids. “Answer me true, Chloe Rose.”

She closed her mouth.

“Answer me true. I’m asking you not to lie. Aren’t you sick and tired of being sick and tired?” I asked the question in the softest and gentlest tone that I had inside of me.

“I…I…” Her head dropped, as if her neck was a broken daffodil stem. Slayer whined and I was beside her in an instant.

I tilted her chin up so that our eyes met. “Chloe, answer me.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Her eyes shimmered with tears.

“Do you trust me?” I whispered softly, my breath mingling with hers.

“So much more than myself. I’m broken, Zarek.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just dented.” I gave her a soft smile.

“I’m scared,” she admitted. I was relieved at her admission.

She was so brave to admit her fright. Truth was, I was proud of this woman.

I’d called Trenda, then Evie and Zoe for as many details as I could get about what had happened that day at Cherokee Lake.

If the guy who had tortured her wasn’t already dead, I’d hunt him down and kill him myself.

“It’s going to be all right, Chloe. I promise.”

“No, it’s not. It’s really bad. I haven’t told you. I can’t tell you.” I saw hell in her eyes. It wasn’t what she had gone through in that cabin, it was the day-to-day despair she had been living with every day since she had left the forest.

“In the last six days, little things have helped, haven’t they? Pecan log rolls? Slayer? Daffodils? Cheese?”

Her eyes shifted as she considered what I said. Finally, she nodded. “A little.”

“Then there’s hope. I’ve made an appointment with Luke’s therapist tomorrow. He’ll see you at three o’clock.”

She stiffened in my arms. I stroked the hair back from her forehead, caressing the scar with my thumb.

“If this was me. If I told you it was really bad, and there were things I couldn’t tell you, wouldn’t you move heaven and earth to get my ass into a professional? Tell me true.”

“Yes,” she breathed out. “Yes, I would.”

“Please give me this. Please let me help you.”

She clutched at my shirt, her nails digging into the skin below.

“Okay.”

I brushed my nose against hers. “You won’t regret this.”

“I hope not.”

* * *

Chloe

God, it felt good in his arms. I’d almost forgotten what good had felt like. His eyes darkened, and I felt his breath mingle with mine.

“Chloe?” He didn’t sound quite as sure of himself. Now what?

“Yes?”

“I have to do this.”

What was he talking about? His mouth was a hairsbreadth away from mine, and I could only hope.

No, I couldn’t be hoping.

But yes, I was.

Then I launched upwards.

And our lips met.

He groaned and pulled me close. Oh God, he tasted better than cheese. His lips were firm and soft, and he sipped and coaxed, and did everything I needed to send me into a maelstrom of want and desire.

His lips parted mine, his tongue seeking entry which I gladly granted, wanting to get so much closer to this man who had been my closest friend and confidant. But this was no friendly kiss, this was a dark lover who swept me up into the clouds.

My nails dug into the steel of his biceps, glorying in his strength.

This was hope.

As soon as I thought those words, doubt permeated my brain, and I arched away from Zarek.

“What, Cupcake?”

“You can’t really want me. Not like I am now.”

He looked deep into my eyes. “You’re you.”

“I’m broken.”

“Chloe Rose Avery, you’re you. You might be down, but you’re not out.” His hand stroked down my arm, his fingers tangling with mine. “Come here.”

I looked up at him in confusion. He tugged, and I followed him into the kitchen. I spotted the pink bakery box he’d brought home.

“Open it.”

Inside there were six gorgeous cupcakes, each one lovelier than the last.

“Each one is unique and equally beautiful. Each one is a different flavor, not one of them is better than the other. Understand?”

I stared up at him.

“Do you get me?”

“I think so,” I said hesitantly.

“Every one of your flavors, Chloe, is beautiful to me. Now do you understand?”

I nodded.

“Let’s go eat cold broccoli and congealed cheese, and then you can have a cupcake or three.” He grinned down at me. “How does that sound?”

“Dreadful. Can we just have cupcakes?”

“Deal.”

Each of the man’s smiles were more beautiful than the last.