Page 20 of Jillian’s Wild Heart (Ladies of Munro #4)

“There is little comfort in what you say,” Lady Bradford answered grimly.

“For, if you do not wish for the life of a baroness, you cannot be what Lewis needs. He may not have expected the role that has been thrust upon him, but he must bear it with fortitude. And his wife must support him. She cannot be living in a cottage and baking little homely pies like some woodcutter’s wife in a fairy tale.

He is the heir to aristocracy. You will only shame him with your na?ve desire for skipping in fields. Surely, you must see that?”

Jillian gritted her teeth. “I can manage myself well enough in the public eye, as the need arises. And if, as you say, I wish to skip naively in my own time, why should it trouble anyone? Why is it nobler to embroider or play the pianoforte?”

“Because,” said Lady Bradford with an undisguised effort at patience, “these activities display skill and years of dedication to their craft. They speak of a mind that is disciplined and a body that is under its owner’s control. And you lack these essential qualities entirely.”

“Lewis doesn’t seem to care,” Jillian said stubbornly.

Lady Bradford closed her eyes and took a testy breath.

“That is because he believes he is rebelling against us. You are but a means to secure animosity between us—a punishment because he did not benefit from being the first born. I am disappointed at his churlishness, but I am convinced he will sober with age. And when we are gone, the responsibility of his father’s name and ancestral home will suddenly feel heavy and real.

Then he will wish he had chosen differently.

And the childlike feelings you now share will dissolve into resentment and frustration.

For he will rise to his position. It is just a matter of time. ”

Lady Bradford sighed heavily. “I say this as much to protect you as I do to protect Lewis from himself. You cannot understand the world you are entering. You think you can skirt around its edges. But it will envelop you, overwhelm and consume you, for you are not educated to manage it. Lewis is cruel to lie to you as much as he lies to himself.”

For the first time, a crack appeared in Jillian’s armor.

A sliver of doubt had pierced it and might, at any second, drive deeper and breech her heart.

Lady Bradford must have sensed it, because she smiled sympathetically and said, “It is hard to hear the truth. I understand. And you now grasp why I have stood between you. Let me soften the blow. I can give you a goodly sum to spend as you wish. Perhaps you might even buy a pony upon which to lavish your affection while your hopes for a life with Lewis fade in time. Or you might consider some furniture to make your parents more comfortable. Is that something you would like?”

Lady Bradford sounded so sincere, Jillian believed she truly meant it all with the best of intentions. But she had underestimated how determined Jilly was to marry her son.

“I thought by now, you would know that money means nothing to me, Lady Bradford. It could never replace the love I feel for Lewis.”

“Tch, what does a woman scarcely of age know about love?” her ladyship bit back irritably. “It is a word too easily thrown about. Love is more than kisses and a racing pulse.”

Jillian’s walls came up once more. How could such a cold woman understand the depths of love? She bristled silently.

Lady Bradford stopped and gathered herself.

“Of course, if that is what matters, I could assist you in finding a different, but equally promising match. There are several handsome footmen who might set your heart going, and a tidy sum as dowry could set you up very comfortably. A man like that would not need you to be something you are not. There can be as much skipping as you desire.”

“I think…” said Jilly, trying her very best to remain civil, “I think it is best if you go now. You have had your say, and not for the first time. I am convinced you think you act in your son’s best interests, but I am equally certain you have no idea what they are.

I will not give him up. Nor should I have to.

I have accepted that I will not be beloved in your eyes.

But I remain hopeful that time will soften the enmity between us.

Perhaps, when you gauge how truly happy Lewis is… ”

“Oh, he is happy,” her ladyship said bitterly.

“He is absolutely delighted that he has found a way to torment us. The question is rather what you will do when he has had his fill of throwing tantrums and takes on the role of gentleman more fully. It will be no comfort for me to say I told you so. Just remember, Miss Kinsey, marriage vows are forever. Take care that you have not imprisoned yourself with them.”

And, with that, Lady Bradford stood quite suddenly and walked straight past Jillian as if she no longer existed.

The sound of brushing silk receded rapidly.

The front door opened and closed. Less than a minute later, carriage wheels crunched on the gravel of the drive until this sound, too, vanished into silence.

Jilly balled her fists. Trust Lewis’s mother to spoil a day that should have been filled with excitement and joyful apprehension at seeing her own family again.

If only Lady Bradford were more like them.

She would not, then, be shunning her son’s wedding or trying to bribe his betrothed to break it off with him.

Thank goodness she and Lewis would be staying in the summer cottage once they were wed! Jilly did not relish the thought of Sunday dinners with the Bradfords, but at least their interactions would be limited to a few hours a week. She was certain Lady Bradford shared this sentiment.

“Is everything all right?” came the worried voice of Ellena from the doorway of the drawing room.

“I saw the carriage and thought perhaps Lewis had managed to swing by after all. But your face tells a different story. Has something happened?” Ellena stepped closer and seated herself carefully next to Jillian, her subtle perfume touching the air as Jillian breathed it in. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Did she? Jillian considered the question. Ellena shared many of the same concerns as Lady Bradford, although she remained loyal despite her misgivings. Even if Ellena said nothing, her reservations would be displayed unambiguously across her facial features. And Jillian was in no mood for it.

“It was Lady Bradford.”

Ellena’s body stiffened. “She was not unkind to you, I hope. It would be a tremendous impudence to come to our home with the purpose of insulting you even further.”

“She seemed worried about me.” Jilly shrugged. “The insult simply followed naturally.”

Ellena considered this in silence. “Will she interfere with the wedding?” she asked with some concern.

“Not after today. We may never be friends, but I shall be her daughter-in-law. She has a week to accept the idea. Or she can choose to reject it for all time. But she will not stand in the way of our happiness.”

“Jilly…” Ellena laid a cautious hand upon her friend’s. “You will try to make peace with her, won’t you? Lewis might bluster about how little he cares for their opinions, but they are still his family. If there is a chance for these high emotions to subside, you will encourage it, won’t you?”

“Of course,” said Jillian a little irritably, “though I could take umbrage at such a question. You know me better than to ask such a thing. It is not I who keeps bringing up reasons for future unhappiness. If I knew how to please her—other than abandoning Lewis—I would do it.”

Ellena lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry to have asked it.

And I’m sorrier still not to attend your wedding.

You know I cannot yet travel with little Christopher, and I am not ready to be without him.

But I understand that you are eager to wed.

Else I would have asked you to be patient.

It is a great pity that you could be at my wedding, but I cannot do the same for you. ”

Jillian fell back at once to her old habit of soothing her once-lonely friend.

“Ah, now, you look about as miserable as you did the day you left Trenton Grange to be married. All worry and misery. And look how well it all turned out in the end! By contrast, I have every reason to be happy on the day. My parents have let me choose my own groom. And I have most of the village and my three brothers to cheer me on. Goodness knows which of those two parties will be the rowdiest in their support!”

She squeezed Ellena’s hand. “I will miss you, but I know you will be with me in spirit. Besides, I shall be back in Munro within the month. You shall hear all my news from the source.” Her face creased with a broad grin.

“We might even invite ourselves over for Twelfth Night celebrations if Lord and Lady Bradford have not forgiven us just yet. Better to be in the company of friends if his family is still sulking.”

“You will be more than welcome,” Ellena assured her, “though I hope it does not come to that. With your own family such a distance away, it would be a blessing to have the comfort of a new one in Munro. Even if they are a little stuffy.”

Jillian shot her friend a determined look.

“If anyone can rid them of said stuffiness, I feel amply qualified. If it were up to me, I would have them all dancing a reel around the Christmas tree.” She clapped her hands.

“They will have one, don’t you think? I hear several of the noble families have taken on this German tradition.

I have never seen one, but they sound beautiful!

Maybe even your parents will decorate one at Trenton Grange.

They certainly have enough trees to choose from on their estate. ”

“My father would never dream of it!” Ellena exclaimed. “You know how tight-fisted he is. For all his wealth, he will never spend a single coin without considering if it can be spared. Mother and I even had to share a lady’s maid. I’m amazed you have forgotten.”

Jilly shook her head. “I never understood the fuss about a lady’s maid until I came to Munro.

I simply brushed my hair and dressed myself.

There seemed little else to it. But a lady of the ton ’s style of hair and garment is so much more complex.

So many laces and ribbons in out-of-reach places!

I hope Lewis knows how to undress me on our wedding night! ”

“Jilly, you are incorrigible!” Ellena laughed. “Your husband will certainly have his hands full with you!”

“I should hope so! And I don’t think he would mind that at all! I am grateful that we shall have the seclusion of the cottage, that he may chase me about the house and I may let him catch me…”

Ellena pretended to be shocked at such forward speech, but Jilly knew she understood these natural feelings.

She therefore felt no need to force a blush upon her cheeks.

Instead, she continued with her scandalous honesty.

“Our servants will have many an afternoon off to allow such chases to occur in private. They shall like very much to be employed by us.”

“Stop!” Ellena was still laughing, but she was making every effort to bring herself under control, her eyes wide with alarm. “My own servants are everywhere. They would love nothing better than to share such morsels of salacious gossip with each other.”

“Oh, I have probably said as much to their faces.” Jillian shrugged.

“You haven’t!” Ellena’s eyes grew large with horror, her mouth stalled in a half-open pose.

“You know very well I am cut more from their cloth than yours. This is how we simple folk talk.”

Ellena’s expression was serious now, all trace of laughter gone from her voice.

“Promise me you will not continue this habit in your new home. Lady Bradford will not have the same ease with her staff as we have with ours. You will lose their respect if you are too familiar with them. And once lost, it will be impossible to win back. Worse yet, they might feel inclined to report your conversations and actions to her ladyship. She might even make it worth their while, if you catch my meaning. By all means, be yourself in private. But do not consider a room containing a servant to be private at all.”

“Well, that’s put a damper on things.” Jillian pouted.

But only for a moment. Then her eyes lit up and she cried, “Do you remember when I ran beside your carriage as you left Trenton Grange for the last time as an unmarried woman? Wouldn’t it be funny if you did the same for me—skirts hitched up, hair fighting their pins to stay put, Lord Howell hollering at us to behave in front of the staff…

Oh, I wish you would say you were going to do it just to see him do that thing …

you know, when he wants to correct us but also wants to be kind about it.

And his face does that sort of rippling as he struggles for the right expression that balances tact with order.

He is such a darling. Oh, do say you’ll do it. ”

“I most certainly will not! The poor dear already has his hands full with the two of us. And he has been respectfully silent on the whole topic of your betrothal, even though you know his concerns. We shan’t torment him.”

Jilly grew still. “You are right. That was thoughtless of me. I take it back at once. I appreciate that he has not made the same sort of fuss that the Bradfords have.”

Ellena looked at Jilly without mirth. “He does not have as much to lose,” she said softly.

“I still don’t understand why I should be such a threat to them.”

Ellena opened her mouth to explain, but Jilly spoke quickly. “No, no, don’t tell me. I’ve heard enough on that subject this morning. Now I want to talk about weddings. And wedding nights…” Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

“I think we will need some tea to wash down such heated conversation,” said Ellena, rising to pull the bell ribbon.

“Oh, and a biscuit or two with which to fortify ourselves,” added Jilly.

“And we will have them sent to my room, where we may continue without the risk of an audience,” insisted Ellena.

“Race you up the stairs!” Jilly leaped from her chair toward the door.

“You’re cheating!” complained Ellena, giving the bellpull a hefty tug. “I still have to give the servants our instructions!”

“We can send for them upstairs. Come on!” And, for the last time, Jillian Kinsey allowed herself to race up the majestic staircase of Munro House, with the viscountess puffing with breathless laughter as she stumbled to keep up.