Page 32 of Jacked (Gymbos #1)

“It’s all so crazy, you know? I know some people realize they’re bisexual later in life, but I always figured they were just lying to themselves or self-hating or something.

Like, how could you not know you’re into guys, right?

But then AJ came along and it was like right away I wanted to be close to him all the time.

It wasn’t even sexual at first, but it kind of was?

I don’t know how to explain it other than that we just clicked.

He gets me, and I feel like I get him.” I bounce my knee to release some of the excess energy, and when that doesn’t work, I stand up and start pacing while I talk.

“This is new for him too, so I don’t want to get ahead of myself or anything but, god, I just…

” I groan because I don’t have any actual words to describe how I’m feeling, but I think the sound gets my point across pretty well.

Primal and excited and all mixed up in a good way.

Nolan is quiet for a few seconds after I stop talking. Maybe he’s waiting to see if I’m going to say anything else? I keep pacing.

“Uh, okay, wow,” he finally says. “It sounds like you really like him. He is your roommate, right? You never said.”

“Yeah.” I frown, trying to work out why Nolan is using his stressed voice. “Why?”

“No, it’s just…” I hear a rhythmic thunking from his end that takes me a second to place until I realize he must be drumming his fingers on something, another thing he usually does when he’s feeling stressed.

“What?”

“It sounds like you really like him,” he says again.

“Could you please stop being cryptic? You’re making me nervous.” I laugh to release some of the tension and plop my ass back down on the couch.

“Sorry. I’m not trying to, I just don’t want you to get hurt or end up without somewhere to stay if things don’t work out.”

My stomach lurches. “Why wouldn’t they work out?”

“I’m not saying they won’t, but you’re both just discovering a new side of yourselves, and sometimes that can be messy. Like, maybe one of you wants to explore sex with a lot of different guys right now and the other one starts thinking this is a relationship, just as an example.”

Well, fuck. I hadn’t even thought of that. Does AJ want to fuck a bunch of different people? Maybe he doesn’t now, but he might once he wraps his head around things a little more.

I let out a tight laugh. “You worry too much, No. I’m not an idiot. I’m thirty years old, I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You’ve just got such a big heart, and I hate seeing you get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.” I swallow around the lump in my throat and force myself to believe those words. I will be fine. Nolan is right, I need to pump the breaks and go into things with my eyes open, that’s all. “Hey, tell me how the game is going.”

The pivot works. The tension bleeds out of our conversation, and Nolan launches into telling me all about the video game he’s doing the graphics for and the upcoming launch.

We talk for a while, catching up on other things after that.

He promises to make a plan to come out and visit me in Chicago next month once the game goes live and Cas finishes the book he’s working on.

Once we hang up, I pull up my text thread with AJ and stare at it for a minute.

There aren’t a lot of messages, mostly just things like “If you stop at the store, we need dish soap” and “Want to grab a beer after work?” kind of stuff.

I don’t know if he even keeps his phone on him at work, but I type out a text anyway.

SLATER: Thinking about coming down for a workout, is it crazy busy?

I bite the inside of my cheek and hit send, feeling like a total idiot.

Of course it’s busy at Sweat on a Saturday.

It always is. I have a membership, I could just go and find out for myself, but I don’t know if I actually feel like dragging my ass there.

I think after talking with Nolan I just want some kind of…

I don’t know, reassurance maybe? It takes a minute before the text bubble from AJ pops up to let me know he’s typing.

AJ: It’s a fucking madhouse, as usual. Come if you want though. I have back-to-back clients for most of the day, so you’ll have to settle for working out alone or getting harassed by Butch.

I chuckle and stare at the text for a second, working up the nerve to actually type what I want to write back. Fuck it. Balls to the wall.

SLATER: Sadly, I think you’ve ruined me for everyone else. Butch will never be able to make me sweat and get my blood pumping the way you do.

The text bubble pops up and disappears several times before his reply finally comes through.

AJ: Dude! You can’t give me a boner when I’m working. These shorts don’t hide anything.

SLATER: I know

AJ: Have you been checking out my dick print all this time?

SLATER: Maybe. At first it was totally no homo, I swear.

AJ: But now it’s fully homo?

SLATER: Now it’s hardcore bisexual.

The bubble doesn’t pop up right away, so while I wait, I get up and shuffle into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee since I never drank the first one.

My phone buzzes with a text while I’m pouring the water into the machine and I end up spilling it all over the counter in my excitement to check for his reply.

AJ: I might be a tiny bit jealous about how easy it is for you to just embrace your new identity. Please tell me you’ve been internally freaking out for the past week and I’ll be shouting it from the rooftops in six days too.

SLATER: There’s no time limit, man. It’s okay if it feels weird or you need to process. We can talk about it if you want. Maybe that’s weird since we’re hooking up, but we’re still friends, right?

AJ: Fuck yeah, we’re friends. I’m just shit at talking about stuff. More of that bullshit from my dad I think. All that ‘guys don’t whine about their feelings’ stuff.

SLATER: It’s not whining, and I’m here for it, I promise. If it makes you feel better, you can tell me your feelings while we watch baseball and chug beer.

AJ: haha, deal.

SLATER: Sooooo… should I come to Sweat or not?

AJ: If you want…

AJ: But it might be hard for me to focus on my job if I keep looking across the gym and seeing you looking fucking lickable and shit.

SLATER: Oh my god, you text flirted with me!

AJ: I did. How’d I do with my first gay text flirting?

SLATER: It worked for me. Wouldn’t hurt to throw in an eggplant emoji next time if the vibe is right, but other than that, no notes.

AJ: I’ll try to remember that.

AJ: Damn, I’m hungry for eggplant parm now though.

SLATER: I bet I could cook that for dinner!

AJ: No. Please don’t.

SLATER: Already looking up recipes. Byyyyeeeeee.