Page 27 of It Taught Me to Hope

E lizabeth Bennet was an observant woman. Thus, it should be no surprise that Mr. Darcy’s conversation with her dearest sister did not go unnoticed. Engaged though she had been with Georgiana and Mary on the pianoforte, Elizabeth had observed when they began to speak, Jane’s pensive response, and Mr. Darcy’s regretful manner. It was none of her concern, so Elizabeth did not interject her presence or her opinion, though it took no great insight to determine what they discussed.

That Jane became even more pensive than usual in the wake of their tête-à-tête did nothing to assuage her worry for her sister. Mr. Darcy would not speak with any intention of upsetting her equilibrium, but the topic they discussed could not fail to affect her sister regardless. Jane, of course, was not devoid of the ability to perceive others, which she proved when she addressed the subject between them.

“Do not concern yourself for me, Lizzy. I know you witnessed my conversation with Mr. Darcy, but the gentleman was not unkind, nor did he surprise me with what he shared.”

“You spoke about Mr. Bingley, I presume?”

“We did.”

When Jane offered nothing more, Elizabeth pressed her a little. “What is your opinion?”

“There is little enough reason to consider the matter at length,” demurred Jane. Then she offered Elizabeth a smile and added: “You know me too well to allow me to claim that I did not consider it at length.”

Pleased that Jane acknowledged this, Elizabeth nodded. “I suspected you would when you learned of it. I spoke of it when I returned to Kent, of course, but I did not tell you all. Do you hold my silence against me?”

Jane sighed and shook her head. “No, I do not, for I know you withheld some of it to spare my feelings, and I thank you for it. The prospect that I might come to Mr. Bingley’s attention is one I have considered; it is not disagreeable to consider, though I am wise enough to not espouse any hopes in that quarter.”

“ Would you entertain hope? Given the passing of time, I did not suppose you still harbored a tender regard for Mr. Bingley.”

The comment did not disconcert Jane at all. “After we returned from London that spring, I said that I considered Mr. Bingley the most amiable man of my acquaintance, and that opinion still holds true.”

Jane colored and looked away. “Even when I thought myself in love with Mr. Edwards, I now know that my opinion remained the same. What I might do if Mr. Bingley showed as much interest in me now as he did then I cannot say. At the very least, I shall not quail at the notion of reuniting him, nor will I harbor any expectations, for that is naught but foolishness.”

“Then I suppose I must allow you to manage your own concerns.”

“I hope you would do so regardless.”

Elizabeth laughed and shared an embrace with her sister. “Say nothing further, Jane. I know when my opinion is unwelcome.”

“Your opinion is always welcome, Lizzy,” replied Jane. “In this instance, however, I cannot think you have any choice other than to allow me to manage my situation in my own way.”

“Very well. If you wish to discuss the subject or want me to offer my interpretation when— if! —this dreadful meeting should take place, I am at your disposal.”

“Thank you, Lizzy.”

Thereafter Jane appeared easier, though she was still immersed in her thoughts as much as she ever was. Still wearing the black of mourning, Jane participated little in local society, and though Elizabeth was often engaged with her sisters and the Darcys, Jane limited her involvement, preferring solitude and the company of her sisters.

One such occasion occurred several days after their conversation. Little though Elizabeth expected such attention, an invitation for a day of picnicking and outside games at Netherfield Park arrived for the party at Longbourn. Mr. Mason had not said two words to Elizabeth since his failed proposal, such that his courtesy in extending an invitation took her aback. At first, she was of a mind to send a note of polite refusal in response, but her sisters convinced her otherwise.

“You would do well to retain whatever good relations you can with Mr. Mason,” observed Jane. “He is your neighbor, after all.”

“He may not be your neighbor for long,” said a laughing Kitty. “Not if Mr. Darcy has any say in the matter.”

“Do as you like, Lizzy,” added Mary. “I shall not attend, for I am engaged with several ladies of the parish that day. Jane’s argument is sensible, but I shall not blame you if you decide against it.”

What convinced Elizabeth to attend was the news that the Darcys were to accept the invitation.

“I will own to a little curiosity,” said Mr. Darcy, “for I am interested to see how Mason behaves.”

“Please, let us go, Elizabeth,” said Georgiana. “I will challenge you to a game of pall mall if you dare oppose me.”

“Consider your challenge accepted, Georgiana,” said Elizabeth. “I shall teach you to test your betters.”

“I suppose we shall see,” giggled Georgiana.

The question of their attendance resolved, Elizabeth and Kitty entered the Bennet carriage on the day of the party for the brief journey to the neighboring estate. It was not a surprise that Jane chose not to attend; her mourning preventing many of the more boisterous celebrations in the neighborhood.

“I shall be well here with Kitty’s children,” she had told them when asked. “You may go and enjoy yourselves.”

Thus, when Elizabeth and Kitty arrived at the house, they received the welcome of Mr. Mason and his aunt, though the former grunted, refusing to meet Elizabeth’s eyes, while the latter fixed her with a considering gaze, making her feel more than a little uncomfortable. The question of whether Mr. Mason had informed Lady Marjorie of what had happened between them was answered. Not caring for the woman’s opinion, Elizabeth offered her compliments and stepped away the moment she could escape unscathed.

“Tell me, Lizzy,” giggled Kitty when they were far enough away to prevent being overheard, “what did you do to offend Lady Marjorie so?”

“I am sure I cannot say,” was Elizabeth’s dry reply, much to Kitty’s further diversion. “Perhaps the lady makes a habit of disapproving of every young lady who does not measure up to her standards.”

“Like Lady Catherine de Bourgh?”

“Lady Catherine would never descend to such behavior,” said Elizabeth, attempting to mimic Lady Catherine’s lofty tones. “She does not consider every young lady wanting, though she prefers to keep the distinction of rank well preserved.”

They approached several other ladies at that moment, friends of longstanding that included both Charlotte and Penelope. Greetings exchanged, they settled into speaking together, exchanging the typical news since the last time they were in one another’s company. Soon thereafter, Mr. Darcy arrived with Georgiana, who approached them at a trot, exchanging embraces. When Mr. Darcy followed behind, he reserved his warm acknowledgement for Elizabeth, though he nodded to her companions.

“Miss Bennet,” said he, bowing and kissing her hand, much to her friends’ mirth. “How lovely it is to see you today, for you are a vision.”

“Nonsense, Mr. Darcy,” rejoined Elizabeth, though his attention pleased her. “Why, I have worn nothing more than a simple day dress, knowing we were to play games today.”

“And yet, it is the loveliest gown I have ever seen, for anything you wear is rendered the highest quality by the simple fact that it graces your form.”

Elizabeth could not help the chuckle at his gallant flirting, though she attempted to push it aside in favor of a stern glare. “Why, Mr. Darcy, I never heard you speak such honeyed words. Have you exchanged places with Colonel Fitzwilliam?”

The gentleman grinned. “Yes, I imagine you expect such charming flirtations from my cousin, for he is as adept at such things as any man I ever met. Let me inform you, however, that I am not in the habit of meaningless compliments; if I offer a compliment, you may be assured that it comes from my heart.”

“Then you should not attempt to imitate him, sir, lest others misunderstand you.” Elizabeth looked behind him and said: “Did your cousin join you today?”

“Though I was not aware of it, there is a slight acquaintance between Fitzwilliam and Mr. Mason—he stayed behind to converse for a moment. I, on the other hand, could not wait to be in your company again.”

At that moment, Mr. Fitzwilliam came around the side of the house with Mr. Mason, though there was no sign of Lady Marjorie. Mr. Mason scowled, no doubt annoyed with how close Mr. Darcy was standing to Elizabeth, but he affected no notice and swept past them. Mr. Fitzwilliam, however, stopped and greeted Elizabeth.

“I was not aware you knew Mason,” said Mr. Darcy.

“It is the slightest of acquaintances,” replied he. Then he glanced around, a surreptitious attempt to determine how close Mr. Mason was, and added in a low tone: “The man is a bore, and no mistake. His cousin is only a little better.”

Elizabeth could well imagine it, for the few members of higher society she had met had been as impressed with their own importance, regardless of their characters. Mr. Fitzwilliam winked and moved forward, situating himself next to the other ladies where he conversed with Charlotte. Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth noted, regarded her as if to say: “See what I must endure?” His look provoked Elizabeth to mirth again.

“I hope your sister has come ready to be humiliated, Mr. Darcy. I have long been accounted as the most accomplished pall mall player in the neighborhood.”

“Have you?” asked the gentleman, a lazy drawl she might have better attributed to his cousin.

Elizabeth offered him a grin. “Well, Charlotte and Jane might dispute that claim, but I am quite good.”

“Then I am eager to see it,” replied Mr. Darcy. The gentleman looked about him, saying: “I will own that I am feeling nostalgic at being here again after all these years.”

“It was my understanding you had already come to Netherfield since returning, Mr. Darcy. Was there not a gathering at the estate not long after you arrived?”

“There was, Miss Bennet,” said he, his gaze on her never wavering. “When I came here before, however, you were not present. It was a house I stayed in and nothing more. Now that you are here, I recall the pleasure of being in your company.”

“Pleasure?” asked Elizabeth, arching her eyebrow in disbelief. “I recalled little of that in our interactions.”

“No, I imagine you do not. Perhaps I controlled myself enough to avoid appearing the lovesick fool, but I was already well on my way to being in your power when you stayed here.”

“If only you had shown it then. I might have responded had you shown me your feelings.”

“Will you respond now?”

“Perhaps I shall,” said Elizabeth, feeling playful. “It depends on how ardent your attentions.”

“I shall do my best, Miss Bennet.”

At that moment, Lady Marjorie, who had appeared while they were speaking, stepped forward and welcomed her nephew’s guests, inviting them all to join in the games and the refreshments. There were spaces set aside for pall mall as Elizabeth had expected, quoits, bowling, and other such games for their enjoyment, along with tables filled with treats of enough variety to agree with any palate. As they had designed, Elizabeth and Georgiana took up pall mall at once and began to play, Mr. Darcy watching their game and appearing disinclined to separate himself from them.

Georgiana was skilled, yet Elizabeth proved her point by winning their two games, though their antics were such that it was difficult to keep score—there was far more laughing than attending to the game, such that Elizabeth wondered that Mr. Darcy did not reprimand them for inappropriate displays. The gentleman, however, did nothing but watch them, a crooked half-smile showing his enjoyment with the evidence of his sister and his hoped-for future wife getting on so well together. That future appeared to be approaching at speed.

When they finished their second game, the ladies moved to other games, Elizabeth staying in a party with Georgiana, Kitty, Penelope, and Charlotte. Through all this, she noted Mr. Mason watching her, his expression unreadable; his attention appeared to be on her so much that he neglected his guests. Were Elizabeth to own the truth, he unsettled her, for she could not understand why he should regard her so considering she had refused his proposal. Not that she would allow him to see any hint of her discomfort—she would not give him the satisfaction.

It also did not escape Elizabeth’s attention that Mr. Darcy had also seen his scrutiny, for the gentleman was as engaged watching Mr. Mason as often as he watched her. In contrast to Mr. Mason’s steady look, Mr. Darcy’s vigilance toward Mr. Mason was not at all friendly, and had their host relaxed his examination of Elizabeth for even a moment, he would have noted it. Yet, to Elizabeth’s eyes he remained oblivious, which was just as well.

To the extent she could, Elizabeth ignored Mr. Mason, and he did not approach. With her sister and friends, Elizabeth played games for a time, then she retired to the tables to partake of luncheon, Mr. Darcy joining them—the gentleman joined none of the games, contenting himself with observing their activities. When she finished consuming her meal, Elizabeth excused herself to the estate’s retiring room and then moved to rejoin her companions. That was when she came across Lady Marjorie—Elizabeth realized with a sudden start that the woman had waited for the opportunity to waylay her. Elizabeth murmured a greeting and attempted to pass her by and was not surprised when the lady did not allow her to escape.

“Miss Elizabeth Bennet,” addressed the lady, “it is well that we are alone, for I wish to speak to you for a moment on a matter of some importance.”

“Oh?” replied Elizabeth, keeping her tone even. “I apologize, Lady Marjorie, but I have no notion what we could discuss, given the brevity of our acquaintance.”

Lady Marjorie returned Elizabeth’s level look. “Miss Bennet, I would not have you trifle with me, for I am not accustomed to such behavior from a young woman of your position in society. You can be at no loss as to the reason for my intention to confront you. Do I have your attention, or will you continue to feign ignorance?”

There was no reason to exchange words with her. “You always had my attention, Lady Marjorie. Please, tell my why you feel this interview is so important.”

“It is important, Miss Bennet, because you spurned a most eligible offer from my nephew.”

It was now out in the open, and though Elizabeth could not understand what the lady hoped to gain from provoking this confrontation, she was not of a mind to deny her. Rather, she felt a measure of curiosity for how this interview would proceed.

“Now I have your full attention I see,” said the lady, her arrogant nod leaving Elizabeth to wonder if all such ladies practiced their insolence in the mirror—Lady Catherine, as she recalled, had possessed similar mannerisms.

“Good. Though the notion of one such as you rejecting a man such as my nephew is beyond comprehension, he informed me that it is so.”

“It is,” said Elizabeth. “It occurs to me to wonder what the matter has to do with you, and what you mean to accomplish by confronting me in this way.”

“Then you acknowledge it.”

“I just said that I did. What of it?”

“Do you not suppose you made a mistake?”

“Not at all, Lady Marjorie. Not only was your nephew’s application insulting, but he offered for me on the heels of every attempt of which I could conceive to inform of my lack of interest in his suit.”

Lady Marjorie’s eyes blazed with affront. “Then I must ask you to account for yourself, Miss Bennet, for a woman of your situation and social background rarely refuses the hand of a man of my nephew’s position.”

“Did I not just declaim any interest in your nephew?”

“What could be lacking in his situation?”

“The fact that I do not believe we suit and do not wish to marry him.” Elizabeth shook her head, wishing to walk away from Lady Marjorie, but suspecting the woman was capable of following her and making a scene Elizabeth had no wish to endure. “As your nephew misunderstood or ignored my disinterest in his company, he left me with no recourse but to reject his proposal when he offered it. Is that not enough?”

“Yet, you have given me no plausible reason.”

By this time, Elizabeth’s anger simmered in her breast. This odious woman wished to know why she refused her nephew? Elizabeth meant to inform her, so she could not claim to misunderstand!

“Then I shall tell you, though you have no right to know my thoughts. The reason I rejected Mr. Mason was my inability to tolerate the thought of being bound to him for a lifetime.”

Lady Marjorie gasped at Elizabeth’s open statement of disdain, but she wished to learn the truth, and Elizabeth was determined she would hear it.

“In truth, I find your nephew dull, odious, his opinions uninteresting, and his character of suspect morality. Though he made his wish to court me clear, he did nothing to provoke my approval and acted as if no woman in the world could consider refusing him. I had not known him for a month before I resolved that nothing could convince me to accept anything he might offer.”

The comment was so like what she had said to Mr. Darcy that she was inclined to laugh when the thought occurred to her. It was well she did not, for Lady Marjorie would not appreciate it. Indeed, the woman appeared angry enough to spit fiery venom from her fangs.

“Perhaps you do not have the benefit of a proper gentle upbringing,” snarled she from between clenched teeth, “but scions of gentle families marry for mutual benefit in fortune and standing. Do quaint matters of the heart sway you from what is proper, or have I missed the implication of your repellant response?”

Elizabeth shook her head with disdain. “You may find my wishes insufficient, quaint, or even ridiculous, Lady Marjorie, but to me they are everything. I do not wish to marry a man I cannot esteem, a man for whom the property I own constitutes the only interest he possesses in me.”

“How dare you!”

“How dare you !” retorted Elizabeth. “This application is a farce. Mr. Mason offered for me, and I refused him—that is the end of the matter. I shall not marry him, even if every member of his extended family berates me for it. It is the very essence of absurdity and cowardice for him to hide behind your skirts in this matter.”

“He is not hiding behind my skirts.”

“Then you decided yourself to accost me without his knowledge or his explicit request? You will forgive me if I do not believe you.

“Regardless, there is nothing more to say and no reason for this argument. Your application is the most ill-judged action in the world, and I will not endure it any longer. Excuse me, Lady Marjorie, for I shall return to my friends.”

With that, Elizabeth gave the lady a shallow curtsey, much less than one should offer for a woman of Lady Marjorie’s position and turned on her heel to stalk away. It was a surprise when she did not follow, haranguing Elizabeth at every step, given her audacity in provoking the confrontation the way she did. There was no more reason to stay when Mr. Mason had offered her invitation for ulterior motives, and Elizabeth resolved to call for her carriage at once and leave Netherfield behind forever.

Before she reached her friends, however, the man himself accosted her to add his voice to his aunt’s entreaty. As he loomed over her, his eyes raked over her form as haughty as his detestable aunt’s. Elizabeth wondered if the entire family was the same; if so, they were nothing like Mr. Darcy, though she was aware of the irony that her opinion had been different at one time.

“Well, Miss Bennet? Have you reconsidered my suit?”

“Nothing will make me reconsider,” hissed Elizabeth. “In the future, Mr. Mason, if you wish to speak to me, I suggest you speak instead of sending your aunt to do your bidding. It reeks of weakness for a man to complain to his relations hoping they might browbeat a woman into accepting him. If you will pardon me, I have had enough of your hospitality. I shall return to Longbourn.”

Elizabeth sidestepped the now gaping man and stalked away, intent on retreating from this place at once. When she arrived back at her friends, she informed them of her wish to depart in terse words, all she felt herself capable of saying without releasing her anger. Though none appeared to understand, they agreed without hesitation, and soon the combined Longbourn and Darcy parties said their farewells and made their way to the front of the house and their carriages. Mr. Darcy, concerned about her state of mind, walked beside her, and could not allow her to depart without speaking.

“Are you well, Miss Bennet? Did Mason say something to you?”

With an effort, Elizabeth pushed her pique away, in favor of offering him a tight smile that did nothing to show anything other than suppressed fury. “I am well, Mr. Darcy. If you do not mind, I shall return to Longbourn at once, for I fear that I am not fit for company any longer. When next we meet, I shall tell you what happened.”

The gentleman did not appear eager to allow her to leave without an explanation but he nodded. In short order, the carriage was ready, allowing Mr. Darcy to help Elizabeth and Kitty into the carriage, and they departed at once. Kitty sensed Elizabeth was not of a mind to converse, and after a few comments designed to assure herself of Elizabeth’s wellbeing, she fell silent. In this manner, they passed the time until the carriage rolled to a halt before Longbourn.

When they arrived at the estate, Elizabeth and Kitty alighted from the carriage and entered the house, Elizabeth intending to make her way to her bedchamber to calm and refresh herself. Before she could climb the stairs, Mrs. Hill, who met them in the vestibule addressed her.

“Miss Bennet, your sister requests your immediate attention in the sitting-room. A matter of some importance has arisen.”

Her attention caught by the housekeeper’s hesitant tone, Elizabeth thought to ask the reason for Jane’s request. It was just as easy to join her sister and ask her, so Elizabeth nodded and responded to Jane’s summons, Kitty following.

There, a curious sight met Elizabeth’s eyes, for Jane was seated in a chair, and with her was a solemn young girl peering about with suspicion. The girl was perhaps five, wore a dress that had seen better days, dusty and drab, hair that was separated into two plaits running down her back on either side, though it appeared matted and dirty, and she had a smudge of dirt on one cheek and the tip of her nose. She also appeared dour, for she regarded Jane through lidded eyes, and looked up at Elizabeth and Kitty when they entered as if she considered them a threat. For a moment, no one spoke.

“Lizzy, Kitty,” said Jane at length. “Please say hello to our niece, Clara Wickham. She came to Longbourn while you were at Netherfield.”