Page 16 of It Taught Me to Hope

M ary’s appearance was not a surprise, for Elizabeth supposed the argument with Mr. Mason was audible as far away as Meryton, and perhaps even Netherfield. Her quick arrival spoke louder about how close the sisters had become these previous years than any words could.

“Lizzy!” exclaimed Mary in greeting.

A fierce embrace ensued, after which Mary pulled away, inspecting Elizabeth for any damage, real or perceived. A moment later, she appeared convinced that Elizabeth had suffered no injury; then she began to question, a hint of scolding marked in her manner.

“I wish you had allowed Michael to speak to Mr. Mason on your part. Might I assume you sent him on his way?”

“I did, Mary,” replied Elizabeth, hard-pressed not to laugh. “Mr. Darcy also helped me run him off.”

“We are much obliged to you, Mr. Darcy,” said Mary, offering the gentleman a perfunctory curtsey. “My sister prides herself on her independence and indomitable resolve, but the rest of us worry her resolve will exceed her actual strength.”

“There is no need to tell me of your sister’s qualities, Mrs. Hardwick,” replied Mr. Darcy, responding with a bow. “I have experienced them myself. As for your comment about her strength, I struggle to comprehend any situation exceeding her capabilities.”

“That is only because you are so enamored with her.”

The entire company exploded with mirth at Mary’s quip, no more than Elizabeth, who reflected that part of her character had not been in evidence when she was a girl. Mr. Darcy acknowledged her jest by joining in with the merriment, his expressive look at Elizabeth telling anyone who cared to look of the truth of her contention.

“Elizabeth is well, Mary,” interjected Mr. Hardwick. “Perhaps we should sit and discuss the matter, for we shall not receive an accounting if we do not.”

“Come, Elizabeth,” said Mary, allowing her husband to keep her child in his arms. “Sit next to me and explain what has happened this morning. I already know it in a general sense, but I wish to understand the particulars.”

Elizabeth allowed her sister to lead her without protest, Mary selecting a small sofa for two, intent upon keeping her company for herself. Mr. and Miss Darcy resumed their seats on the longer sofa, while Mr. Hardwick chose a nearby chair, shifting his sleeping son in his arms as he sat.

Noting Mary’s demanding glare as she did, Elizabeth lost no time in explaining the morning’s events yet again. There was no purpose in hiding anything from Mary, for nothing had happened to embarrass Elizabeth, though she could not say whether Mr. Mason would disagree. Thus, she recounted it all, including the Darcys’ timely arrival, Mr. Mason’s objectionable proposal, his inability to believe she was in earnest, and his temerity in ordering the Darcys’ removal from Longbourn and her response. By the time Elizabeth completed her explanation, Mary was shaking her head, part in fondness and part in exasperation.

“Well, that is not far removed from what I expected. I know not how you do it, Lizzy, but it seems you have a talent for provoking the worst proposals known to man. Is there no man who will speak to you as a lover rather than an object to be purchased?”

Mr. Darcy watched all this without reaction, though he was one of whom Mary had spoken, and Georgiana appeared on the verge of hilarity.

“You are correct, Mary, for I made that exact point to Mr. Mason. Unlike you, however, he did not appreciate the comparison!”

“Is that so?” asked Mr. Hardwick. “I have not heard this story, though I will own I know something of Mr. Collins’s proposal. Has every gentleman in the countryside inundated you with objectionable proposals and you failed to inform me?”

“Not at all, Brother,” laughed Elizabeth. “Yet this is the fourth such proposal I received, and none have been what I would call flattering.”

“Four?” asked Mary. “This is something of which I am not aware, which makes me quite cross, Lizzy.”

Elizabeth’s glance found Mr. Darcy, and while he still appeared complacent, there was an air of resignation about him. “You may as well tell him, Miss Bennet, for I dare say your brother will learn of it eventually. Better he learns it from you than from a chance comment.”

“Now I must insist on being satisfied!” exclaimed Mr. Hardwick.

“Then you shall,” replied Elizabeth, “and I shall satisfy Mary’s curiosity too, though the tale will not be so dreadful as she imagines.”

With that, Elizabeth weaved the tale of her many proposals, starting in chronological order with the young heir of Netherfield Park, Mr. Collins’s silliness with great relish, then with Mr. Darcy’s proposal in Hunsford parsonage, and finishing with Mr. Mason’s attempt just that morning. The third Elizabeth tried to gloss over in deference to Mr. Darcy’s feelings, but the gentleman would have none of it.

“Nonsense, Miss Bennet,” interjected he after she had recounted it, staying to threadbare details. “Your brother will never understand the measure of the miscreant returned to your life if you do not give a full account.”

Then Mr. Darcy took over the telling, detailing his thoughts and expectations upon entering that room at Hunsford, offering a credible account of the words he had spoken, her rejection, and the subsequent argument. He finished the tale with the report of the letter he wrote and what it contained—though he omitted Georgiana’s experience with Mr. Wickham—and his going away, never expecting to see her again.

“That is an unusual report, indeed,” said Mr. Hardwick when Mr. Darcy ended his telling. “I can see why you would wish to keep such a tale to as few as possible.”

“It was no less than mortifying,” agreed Mr. Darcy. “If I cannot trust people I hope will someday become my family, I do not suppose that I can trust anyone.”

“Which is perhaps the most curious part of this entire business. After receiving such a rejection, it is no surprise you would depart at once, though this business of giving Elizabeth a letter is not proper. Had it not occurred six years in the distant past, I might feel some urge to take you to task for it. Then again, I was not her guardian and am nothing but a brother now. She is adept at managing her affairs; if I insert myself into her business, she does not hesitate to reprimand me for my unwanted interference.”

“It appears you are learning, Brother,” said Elizabeth sweetly, much to the amusement of everyone in the room.

Michael grinned and waggled his eyebrows, then turned back to Mr. Darcy. “I will reiterate, sir. That you would return now after six years is no less than astonishing.”

“The matter remained incomplete in my mind,” said Mr. Darcy. “Had Miss Bennet rejected me and not spoken of the reasons for sending me away, there is every probability our estrangement would have been permanent. Yet our argument, and especially the matter of Wickham and her misunderstandings based on him always provoked doubt. I wondered what might have happened had Wickham not interfered.”

“I would not have thought so ill of you,” said Elizabeth, “but I still would not have accepted you. There was still the matter of Jane, after all.”

“Yes, I suppose there was,” agreed Mr. Darcy. “Still, it was Wickham’s tale that set you against me. If Wickham had never come to Hertfordshire, I do not think our argument in Hunsford would have been so...”

“Vicious?” supplied Georgiana.

“Intense,” corrected Mr. Darcy. “As the question remained open in my mind, I could not give up the hope of Miss Bennet’s approval until I knew I had no chance of obtaining it.”

“That is understandable,” said Mr. Hardwick. “It is still surprising after six years.”

Mr. Darcy offered a shrug. “There is little I can say, for I do not understand it all myself. When in London earlier this year I came across Mrs. Edwards and learned Miss Bennet is yet unmarried. Georgiana convinced me to return and put my long-held questions to the test, and here I am.”

“You are a brave man, to confront our Elizabeth in her lair. She has put men of exceptional mettle to flight, as she proved by withstanding all Mason could do.”

“Brother!” cried Elizabeth to the mirth of them all. “You will teach the Darcys to believe that I am a gorgon!”

“Not at all, Miss Bennet,” said Mr. Darcy. “As you know, I am well aware of your qualities.”

“The question in all this,” said Mary, her gaze roving between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, “is whether Mr. Darcy has a chance of provoking your esteem.” Her gaze softened and she added: “You have never hidden your wishes, Lizzy. Mr. Darcy has no chance of gaining your hand if he does not provoke your love. What I wish to know is if the gentleman has any possibility of success.”

Again, Mr. Darcy appeared complacent, though Elizabeth noted a certain tightening around his shoulders, how his smile appeared fixed as if painted on his face. It was a question that Elizabeth had considered at length since the gentleman’s sudden reappearance. Now, it appeared she had no choice but to account for her recent ruminations.

“Mr. Darcy’s reappearance did shock me,” said she, unable to project much more than a whisper with the emotions welling up within her.

“Have I made you uncomfortable, Miss Bennet?” interjected Mr. Darcy, his apprehension replaced by concern.

“Please, Mr. Darcy, assume nothing,” replied Elizabeth, her voice gaining strength. “My feelings are in such a muddle that I would not wish to say anything that you might misinterpret. There are enough misunderstandings between us to last a lifetime.”

“With that, I cannot but agree,” said Mr. Darcy, nodding to state his willingness to listen.

“As you all know, Mr. Darcy gave me a letter after his proposal that explained his actions. I shall not scruple to suggest that I agreed with his explanation, nor will I say that I understood and believed his account without reservation. The matter of Jane was, in particular, difficult to accept, though I believe his account of his motivations.

“As for Mr. Wickham, that man himself proved Mr. Darcy’s denunciation, both in his actions toward Lydia and in the havoc he left in Meryton after he departed. Even before I left Kent, I had accepted that my impression of him was flawed—his behavior thereafter did nothing but prove Mr. Darcy’s account.”

“That is all well and good, Lizzy,” said Mary, affection staining her tone. “Yet you did not answer my question.”

“All in good time, dear sister,” said Elizabeth, patting Mary’s hands. “It is all part of my explanation.”

Elizabeth arched a brow and gazed at the company. “I will say that this is all very improper. To require a woman to reveal the contents of her heart is not done!”

“Perhaps it is not, Lizzy,” replied Mary. “Your situation is most peculiar, so the normal rules do not apply.”

Laughing, Elizabeth shook her head. “I can see you will not relent until I satisfy you. Very well.”

Elizabeth turned to Mr. Darcy. “Your suit is not hopeless, Mr. Darcy. If it were, I would have sent you on your way the moment you returned.” With a wry smile, she amended: “Or at least I would have when I recovered my wits.”

“Do not suggest you lost your wits, Miss Bennet,” replied Mr. Darcy. “It has always been my firm opinion that of all women, you can lay the greatest claim to being in firm possession of them.”

“I shall not agree or disagree,” replied Elizabeth. “There are some who might dispute it, particularly my close friends who I shocked by relating this business.

“To bring this interminable conversation to a close, I shall only say that I have no notion of how it will all end, but I am not disinclined to learn if we are compatible. No promises will I offer, but I am content to receive your calls and allow you to make your case.”

“That, Miss Bennet,” said Mr. Darcy with his usual gravity, “is all any man could hope to obtain. There is only one part of this business that gives me pause.”

“And that is?” asked Elizabeth.

“That I shall need to accept Edwards as a brother. I never liked him much and cannot understand what your sister saw in him.”

“Trust me, Mr. Darcy,” said Elizabeth, wishing Jane’s situation was different, “Jane cannot understand it herself. I am trying to convince her to visit Longbourn and stay for some weeks. I hope you do not dislike this plan.”

“Not in the slightest,” replied Mr. Darcy. “She is your sister. Do not concern yourself on my account—if anything, there is greater reason to suppose my presence will discompose her rather than the reverse.”

“Jane is not so easy to upset, Mr. Darcy,” said Mary. “I have never met someone so even of temper as she.”

“Which must be why I misjudged her so.”

“Let us leave this objectionable subject,” said Elizabeth, not wishing to dwell on such things. “I hope I can convince you all to stay for dinner, though it is yet early afternoon.”

“Nothing is pressing in the parish,” said Mr. Hardwick, Mary nodding by his side.

The Darcys offered their approval, settling the matter. After Elizabeth spoke to Mrs. Hill, she returned to the company, and they began their visit in earnest.

––––––––

“W ELL DARCY,” SAID HARDWICK , pulling Darcy from his contemplations. “I declare you have not removed your gaze from my sister for these past five minutes at least.”

“Do you blame me?”

Hardwick snorted and looked to his sister, who clustered with his wife and Georgiana, the Hardwicks’ child in Miss Bennet’s arms in their midst. There was something about an infant that brought out the mothering instinct in all women, even those who were not blessed with children of their own, for they cooed and spoke and laughed, drawing his responses in return. The child was bright of eye and alert, and Darcy thought he would be a handsome boy.

“I will own,” said Darcy, a powerful feeling in his breast, “that the sight of Miss Bennet carrying a child in her arms has struck me with the force of a kicking horse. I cannot but wonder what it would be like if she were carrying our child in her arms.”

“Trust me, Darcy, you do not differ from any other man in love with a woman. I did not see Mary carrying a child before we were married, but the image of her when she first held our child in her arms is seared onto my brain.”

Darcy murmured his agreement but offered no further response, so intent was he on the picture before him.

“After I came to Longbourn I took an immediate interest in the Bennet sisters,” said Hardwick, drawing Darcy’s eyes back to him and away from the woman who had fired Darcy’s imagination all these years. “That cannot be a surprise to you, I suppose, since they are excellent ladies, were alone living at Longbourn, and beautiful besides. Not long before I married her, Mary asked me one day why I fixed my attention on her rather than Elizabeth.”

Darcy’s eyes found Mrs. Hardwick this time, and though he had paid little attention to her when living with Bingley, he could recall much of her; she had appeared almost Puritan in her comportment and dress as a younger woman. While all the Bennet women had dressed well, the cuts of her dress covered her completely, and her hairstyle had been a tight and modest bun, none of which had done much to favor her appearance. Now, however, she had relaxed her style to one like her sister’s, though still more reserved, her appearance speaking to greater ease. Though Darcy had never considered it before, he supposed she was not the equal of Miss Elizabeth in beauty, though she was pretty in her own right.

“She thought you would have preferred her sister?” asked Darcy, not wishing to speak out of turn or say something to suggest anything negative about Mrs. Hardwick.

“You need not take such care, Darcy,” laughed Hardwick. “To me, my wife is the most beautiful woman alive, her sister’s comeliness notwithstanding. The truth is, as my wife revealed to me, that she grew to adulthood hearing comparisons between her sisters’ beauty and her lack.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“It is. The primary perpetrator of such things was her mother, though to hear Mary speak of it, most of those in the neighborhood made injudicious comments in her hearing.”

Darcy shook his head. “Mrs. Bennet was already deceased by the time you came to Longbourn, so you would not have known her.”

“She was.”

“Mrs. Bennet was a factor I used to convince myself against pursuing Miss Bennet. She was not a sensible woman from what I saw.”

“According to her daughters, no she was not,” agreed Hardwick. “Elizabeth told me once out of Mary’s hearing that her mother had not intended to be cruel—she was just a thoughtless woman, one terrified of genteel poverty, and her way of protecting her future was to push her daughters at any man she thought suitable. To her, Mary’s supposed plainness was an impediment to ensuring they all married. Mrs. Bennet had, I think, reason enough to fear for the future, regardless of her way of expressing it.”

“I cannot but agree.”

“To answer Mary’s question,” continued Hardwick, “I said that I did not know what drew me to her rather than Elizabeth.” Hardwick offered a self-deprecating smile. “I am not any more immune to a pretty face than the next man, yet I try to see others by who they are rather than the face they present to the world. Now that I know the history between you, I wonder if some sense of that did not direct my hand.”

Again, Darcy’s eyes found him. “I had not considered it, but I suppose you would have obtained Longbourn had you married Miss Bennet.”

“Yes, that is true,” agreed Hardwick. “While I am not opposed to the life of a gentleman, I have been in the clergy for several years and find it a rewarding life.”

“That speaks well to your character.” Darcy regarded his companion and said: “Are there gentlemen in your ancestry?”

“My father owns land, but he is more properly termed a farmer, as his holdings are not large and he has no tenants. I have one older brother who will inherit the property. The only reason I attended a seminary at all is because a distant relation provided for me, even though he did not have a living to bestow. I am here because of a chance acquaintance.”

Darcy nodded, deep in thought. “Did you see something in Miss Bennet that prevented you from turning to her?”

“Nothing on which I can put my finger, regardless of what I said before. Elizabeth has always seemed a happy sort of woman, one unaccustomed to allowing the cares of life to affect her. As I suggested, Mary caught my attention and I fixed on her, regardless of the greater prize that was her sister’s possession of Longbourn. Yet learning of this business between you makes me wonder.”

“There is little enough reason to approach Miss Bennet on the subject. I sense she could not answer the question even if she tried. She could have no notion of my wish to put myself in her company again.”

“No one could expect it,” agreed Hardwick. “I am happy for Elizabeth, though it will be hard on my wife should you take her to the north.”

“It was my observation that Miss Bennet was closest to her eldest sister.”

“In that, you would be correct. Jane, however, has been married since before I came to Hertfordshire. As Mary and Elizabeth were the only sisters remaining at Longbourn, they leaned on each other for support.”

“Then it is unsurprising they grew in each other’s affection.”

Darcy spent the rest of the afternoon watching Miss Bennet, though attempting to remain unobtrusive about it. The way Miss Bennet’s eyes often caught his, the diversion she displayed when she caught him regarding her told Darcy his efforts were a miserable failure. So far as Darcy knew, she had not been unaware of his scrutiny before, and she was not blind to it now. The notion was not displeasing, for Darcy supposed that such a display of interest could do nothing but enhance his efforts.

“At one time,” said Miss Bennet a little later when they were sitting together, “I thought you looked at me only to find fault.”

“If you will forgive me,” said Darcy, “that is a ridiculous notion. I have never understood how often I look at you, for I do not even realize I am doing it, yet I must suppose I presented a rather amusing picture. No man of my acquaintance—indeed, no man alive—would look at a woman he finds unappealing to excess.”

“Yes,” agreed Miss Bennet, “others have pointed that out to me of late.”

“What provoked you to think that?” asked Darcy, curious how she might answer.

Miss Bennet regarded him for several long moments before answering. “It was my different opinion of our interactions, I must suppose, that and your obvious disapproval of me on our first meeting.”

Curiosity rose in Darcy’s breast. “You speak of something particular?”

“You do not recall our first meeting at the assembly?”

The memory of that evening rose in Darcy’s mind. “As I recall, I was not in good humor. Other than Bingley’s initial greeting of your family, I do not think we spoke at all.”

Miss Bennet remained silent.

“Did something show me in a poor light? Then again, I suppose a man new to the neighborhood speaking nothing to the locals was enough.”

“I shall not say you are incorrect,” replied Miss Bennet. “Thereafter, especially at Netherfield Park when I stayed there and on other occasions when we spoke it almost always descended to an argument.”

There was something she was not saying, though Darcy could not determine what it was. The only reason he allowed it to rest was the hope that he could convince her to accept his suit and learn the truth of it later. With that in mind, Darcy focused on her assertions.

“Would you believe that I always considered them lively debates?”

“That is the easiest of all to believe,” said Miss Bennet, the light of amusement in her eyes. “Considering you proposed to me and expected my consent, it is clear you saw our dealings in a different light than I did.”

“It is also evidence of my arrogance,” said Darcy, feeling the old sense of rue and disappointment seep into his breast.

“It seems you repented of it.”

“I have. It was the first truth of the business that I understood. Since then, I have discovered many more facts about myself. I hope it has made me a better man.”

Miss Bennet’s expression softened. “I will not presume to pass judgment on your character, Mr. Darcy, for I made such a hash of it last time as to render any such attempt now pure hubris on my part. If I am allowed to observe, however, I cannot but declare you have grown in my estimation.”

“That is welcome news. Can I express the hope that your esteem will continue to grow?”

She laughed, that enchanting sound that had haunted his dreams for more than half a decade. “You may. I shall not speculate, Mr. Darcy, but I believe your chances of success are far greater than they were when you entered Sir William’s parlor.”

“Then I shall redouble my efforts.”

One more event occurred that night to further raise Darcy’s hopes. When the evening was coming to a close, Mrs. Hardwick approached her sister to speak, and the subject of her conversation was such that Darcy did not think she realized how close he was to them, else she would have kept her voice soft and circumspect. As the advice she offered was not at all onerous to Darcy, he listened, appreciating the insight he gained.

“Take care, Lizzy,” said she. “You have Mr. Darcy in the palm of your hand, given his behavior tonight. It is your responsibility to treat his regard as the precious gift it is.”

“Trust me, Mary, I am aware of this.”

“Yes, I suppose you are. Remember, Lizzy, I am convinced that of all of us, you are the most deserving of happiness. Take every opportunity to know Mr. Darcy better and allow the gentleman to make his case. He will not disappoint you if you do.”

“I already know him, Mary. Your advice, however, is excellent. Though I could not have imagined his return only a few weeks ago, I now think his chances of success are rising apace.”

With that, Darcy was content. To hear Miss Bennet speak of it to her sister with no knowledge of his proximity was proof her response to him was not feigned or calculated to avoid disappointing him. With this knowledge in hand, Darcy resolved to step forward and do his utmost to convince her. Against all his expectations, despite the heartache of recent years, Darcy’s happiness was within his grasp. There was nothing to do but reach out and take it.