Page 4 of It Never Happened (Nilsson Family #1)

Jack

I can’t believe she said yes to dinner. After seeing her at the school, it took everything in me not to run to her.

She still has that thick, wavy brown hair I always loved feeling on my bare chest as she laid next to me in bed.

And a body to die for. Long legs that I loved to feel wrapped around my waist and amazing thick hips that fit my grip perfectly.

Courtney Becker has curves that I still dream about.

But her eyes, although still that gorgeous chocolate brown with gold specks, seem duller this time around. She has double the stress now being a single parent, and I can’t help but hate myself for doing that to her.

Since Courtney walked out on me five years ago, I haven’t been able to shake her from my thoughts. The problem is, I never did anything to get her back either.

I'm sure she thinks I’ve been living it up in the city, dating and partying, but it’s the furthest thing from the truth.

I work twenty hours a day. I fill my time with account after account and earning money to eventually get them both back one day.

The guy who took me under his wing and believed in me enough to bring me on as his partner retired eight months ago.

He’s young, no older than fifty, and I couldn't believe it when he told me he was leaving.

“I’ve done my time, made my money. I’ve seen everything I could ever ask for, but I’ve also missed out on a lot.

My kids are going to college now, and I owe it to my wife to be there with her.

She didn’t ask for my crazy work hours or to be left alone while raising our kids.

She certainly doesn’t deserve to be alone now that they’re gone. ”

He left me all of his accounts to handle and said I was the only one he trusted with them. I was ecstatic until I saw the workload involved. And after hearing his reasons for retiring, it had my mind racing with similar thoughts.

I don’t want to miss out on what’s coming.

But the reasons I don't want to miss out are the same reasons I stayed away. There’s no way I could take care of my son on my own and still work all that I do.

And I already proved I sucked at taking care of Courtney.

I would never dream of taking him from Courtney, but she won’t move back to New York.

So I'm stuck with yearly visits. A few days off at Christmas is the only time the world seems to stop turning so fast and allows me time to come to visit him.

And every time I do, my heart breaks a little bit more. You’d think it would be enough to wake me up. To talk myself into seeing what's really important. I have enough money now I wouldn’t ever have to work again, but I need a time filler too. I can’t not work and not have them either.

But I've done too much damage already, and I fear Courtney will never take me back.

Bluemoon is a big change from the city that never sleeps.

On plane rides home, I usually find myself wondering if I could make the switch.

Could I ever move out of the city and back into a place with a slower pace?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this and maybe it wouldn’t have to be so slow.

The food and shops here are amazing. The Italian place right in the heart of town serves food to die for.

And Sweets n’ Spice is the best bakery to get desserts.

I’d love to get my hands on those two places; I could really turn them into a huge draw here during tourist season.

And Dress Me Up boutique, owned by Lief and his family, is the whole reason I came early.

Lief called me a few weeks back saying the shop was in the red again.

He didn’t want to tell his mom yet, but he and January have been talking about closing the place.

It's costing them too much to keep it up and running. I’m sure January knows Lief called me, but I had to get a dig in on her yesterday.

I hope he told her, at least. Last time he made plans without her, they didn't speak for a year.

Just another self-sabotaging thing I do.

Blasting your girl’s best friend is never a way to get her back.

But there’s still a lot unresolved between January and me.

She was the one to convince Courtney to take my son and move back to Montana, and after that, I refused to give her the time of day.

Lief worked his ass off, without January, to pay back the loan, but by doing so, it left him in a hole again.

I knew he wasn’t budgeting correctly, but as shitty as it sounds, I couldn’t take time away from the bigger clients to get his ass on track.

It's a family business, and they should have been running it like a family. Instead, he tried to save the day, just like his dad would have done.

And I was in New York instead of helping my friend. Just another fence I need to mend.

Stepping into the warm pizzeria, I shake off the flurries that are sticking to my coat. I thought New York winters were bad, but they've got nothing on this place. I walk to the counter and say, “I called in an order. Fristo?—”

“Jack. We got your order right here.”

I watch the guy turn his back on me and grab my food from the top of the oven. “Pepperoni pizza, two orders of mozzarella sticks, an order of spaghetti and meatballs, and a Caesar salad. Right?”

He turns back to me with an armful of takeout containers and slaps them down on the counter in front of me. “Sounds about right.”

He’s quick to brush me off. “Eighty-seven dollars and thirty cents.” The guy won’t even look at me.

I hand him a hundred-dollar bill and tell him to keep the change. He snatches it from my hand so I have to ask, “Is there a problem?”

He shakes his head quickly. “Nope. Just glad to see you showed up for Christmas,” he snipes out with an attitude, and I want to jump across the counter at him.

“You don’t know me, which means you don’t get to have an opinion.”

He connects eyes with me finally and leans on the counter with both hands. “I’ve got plenty of opinions. That little boy is amazing, and the best thing his momma did was move him back home.” He walks away and to the back before I have a chance at rebuttal.

“Fucking nosey small town.” I grab the food and head back outside looking for Larry, the lone taxi driver in town. Shaking my head at the nonsense, I slide into the back and give him Courtney’s address. His eyes flick to mine in the rearview mirror.

“Guess you already knew that, huh?”

He chuckles and nods his head. “Yep.”

We drive the ten minutes in silence, and when we pull up out front, he only wishes me a good night. Larry is starting to grow on me.

I carefully make my way to the front door on a walk that hasn’t been shoveled, thankful for the winter boots I packed, and Joey flings open the door before I can knock.

“Alright! Pizza!” He pumps his little fist in the air. “Hey, Dad!”

My lips roll inward and I force myself to hold back a tear that wants to fall at the sound of his little voice.

“Hey, son.” I bend down to his level. “Help me out and take the top two bags, okay?” He grabs them, and I follow him inside, placing the food down on the small table by the door.

I shrug out of my coat, hang it, and kick off my boots, leaving them on the mat.

“Mom! Dad’s here!” Joey goes running down the hall, and I laugh as he skids around the corner and into the kitchen.

I take the food and walk down the small, cozy hall that is filled with pictures and low lights.

As I enter the kitchen, I’m struck by the contrast to my own.

My apartment in the city is all white and stainless steel appliances.

This kitchen still boasts the old cabinetry that was here when it was built a hundred years ago, and none of the appliances match.

Pictures are hung haphazardly on the fridge and the candle on the table has left a small wax ring from where it was bumped and spilled over.

This house is lived in. Where after six years, mine still looks like a shrine to boredom and loneliness.

Courtney walks around collecting paperwork and piling it to the side while grabbing plates and napkins. “Sorry, I got hung up late at the school and we just walked in. I didn’t have time to set anything.”

I meet her in the middle of the kitchen, taking the plates from her hands. The move catches her by surprise and she looks into my eyes quickly before looking down and backing away from me. “It’s fine, let me help. Joe, grab some cups and forks and help me with the table.”

“Forks? For pizza?”

I chuckle at his outrage. “I also got spaghetti and meatballs and a salad for your mom. Grab some napkins too.”

“Ooh, did you get caesar? That’s her favorite!” he exclaims excitedly, poking around in the bags now.

I place the plates down and redirect him to get the cups. “I do know it’s her favorite, and yes I did. Come on, let’s eat while it’s hot.”

I glance at her again, and Courtney is actively looking everywhere but at me. Her eyes are low while she takes the food from the bags, placing it on the table. When we are all seated, I do my best to break the tension in the room.

“So tell me about school, Joe. Do you like your teachers?”

“I do! I like all the things we learn but my librarian is mean. She’s old and cranky.”

“Joey!” Courtney chastises him.

“It’s true, mom! You even agreed with me after meeting her at open school night.” She glances at me, trying to hide her grin, and I give her a wink.

“I know, honey, but that’s talk between you and I at home. You’re allowed to tell me anything you want in these four walls, but you still have to be nice and respectful to her at school.”

Joey takes a big bite of the pepperoni pizza and talks with his mouth full. “Yes, Mom,” he grumbles, and she hands him a napkin.

“Mouth closed, honey.”

“Mrs. Krankowski is still there?” I ask, chuckling and remembering how old she was when I was in school. Now she's got to be ancient.

“She is.”