Page 13 of It Never Happened (Nilsson Family #1)

But my body really wants him. And I think my traitorous heart does too. Before we were ever married, then pregnant, then lost in the world of being adults, we were just Jack and Coco, a couple in love. If we could get back to that feeling again, I wonder now if all the rest would fall into place .

“Do you think we were just too young?” he muses.

“Yes. I think we tried to do too much all at once without knowing how it would change us. Moving across the country, leaving everyone we knew, and having to figure out how to survive on our own at eighteen and twenty was a big step.”

“You're right. And I won’t lie and say it wasn’t scary.

I tried to do the best I could for us at that time.

Working was all I knew, and I was too young to know there’s more to life than that.

That you needed more than that.” He pauses, placing his wine glass on the coffee table.

“We’re not young now though. I know what I want. I just hope you want it too.”

His fingers dance around my shoulder, brushing the side of my neck. I tilt my head so he has better access, and he takes it for the green light it is. He inches closer to me, and I turn toward him. He leans on the back of the couch, his head on his hand, and reaches for my hand with his other.

“We always did this well.” He gives me that boyish smile that always makes my heart beat faster. “Why are you blushing?”

I look down, slightly embarrassed. “I feel like we’re on a first date.”

“Are you a virgin, Courtney?” He leans in and whispers it to me.

I laugh. “Might as well be.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I roll my lips inward and freeze. His face goes stoic, and he takes a breath, his chest expanding like he's trying to get himself under control.

“Have you been with anyone since… us?”

Us . Such a simple word, but it carries all the complications .

I look at him and shake my head. He lets out the breath he was holding.

“What about you?” I ask.

“No one.”

“Bullshit!” I yell, and he holds my hand tighter when I try to pull away.

“No. One.” He’s so serious, I know he’s telling the truth.

“Jack. It's been a really long time.”

“No one was ever going to compare to you, Coco. Why bother to find someone new if I already had the best thing to ever happen to me and lost her?” I look down to our joined hands. “You’re still the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on.” With his thumb, he brushes my bottom lip, outlining it.

“If we do this, I need you to choose us. Going forward, right now, choose us or never again.” The words fall fast from my lips. I know it’s my heart speaking and not my head. And I have no choice but to go with it.

“I’ll choose you every damn time, Courtney. Every fucking time.” He leans in, capturing my lips, and the moment we touch it’s like there's been no time between us at all. Every bit of him comes rushing back, and my heart is full sitting next to him.

He cups my face and continues to kiss me like he needs to catch up on all the years lost. I feel frozen in place just letting us feel again.

His hand drifts down my front, his fingers feathering my neck and my collar bone, lingering just above my breast like he’s unsure he should keep going.

When I nip his bottom lip, I feel him smile against me.

He pulls back slightly, looking at me with hooded eyes as he cups my breast, smoothing his thumb over my nipple.

I suck in a sharp breath; having not been touched in years, the feeling is electric. Everything inside me is going haywire right now.

He continues to rub his thumb back and forth, and I squirm on the couch. “Jack.” I whisper his name, my eyes fluttering closed at the sensation of his hand on me.

“Fuck. I missed you.” He leans back and pulls me onto his lap. I grind down on him like we’re teenagers searching for contact. Our need for each other only gets stronger and more frantic. I rip my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor before he’s kissing me again. Our hands are everywhere.

“Jack, please. I need it.” I fall to the side of him as he struggles to get out of his jeans, and I yank at my pajama bottoms, kicking them off. He slides his boxers down to his thighs, and I take him in my hand instantly.

He throws his head back on the couch. “Oh god, that's so good.” His sigh is long and turns into a moan the faster I stroke him. He reaches for my breasts, kneading them before grabbing my waist and pulling me over him. “Are you still on the pill?” When I nod he says, “Pull these to the side. I can’t wait.”

I kneel above him, pulling my panties to the side, and position him at my entrance. In one long stroke, he’s inside and I call out. The burn is so good, the stretch is so much.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

I try to gather a breath. “No. Just give me a moment.” We’re both panting and trying to gain control.

“I forgot how vocal you are, Coco.” He smirks when I look at him. “You better keep it down if you want to finish.”

I begin to rock on him, and his mouth drops open. I trace his lips with my pointer finger before dipping it in his mouth. He sucks on it, flicking the tip with his tongue. I pull it out and rub my clit as I work my hips faster on his dick. “I’m going to finish right now. Hope you can keep it up.”

His lips twist and his eyes dilate even more. “You’re still my fucking fantasy come to life.” He grabs my hips, holding my body tight, and begins to pound into me while I rub circles around my clit. My breaths are short as we kiss, and I lean my forehead against his.

“I’m close, Jack.”

“Do that thing you do. Take me with you.” His words are short and clipped, and I know he’s close too.

Remembering how he loved this, I reach back, cupping his balls before adding pressure.

I roll my hips in a wave motion, and when he reaches down to touch my clit, I fall apart.

I cry out quickly, then bite my lip trying to keep quiet.

His body locks up, and I feel him spasm inside me.

He grunts, his mouth hanging open, eyes hooded as he watches me.

A bit of sweat trickles down his temple, and I collapse on his chest, still rolling my body slowly, bringing us down from a high we haven’t reached in years.

“I forgot how good it was,” I pant out.

“I didn't. I’ve played our nights over and over in my head for the last five years. I’ve never forgotten how you feel, Coco.”

I lay against his chest, our heartbeats matching in rhythm, and fight for something to say. I have no words; five minutes ago this was a great idea, but now I feel confused.

“So, did I convince you?”

“That was just sex,” I say.

“It was never just sex between us and you know it.”

“Well then it’s going to take more than just sex to fix things between us , ” I retort as he slides out of me and I stand searching for my pants.

“But it’s a start, right?” I look back at him, the lights from the tree catching the beads of sweat as he lays spent on the couch, his cock still semi-hard on his stomach. His t-shirt is pulled up, exposing his still-cut abs and my mouth aches to lick each one. “Let me try to fix it.”

“Put that away!” I chastise him as I step into my pants.

“I can’t move. I think you may have broken me.” He reaches for his cock, stroking it slowly. “Can you kiss it and make it better?”

I laugh at him and fall onto the couch next to him, stilling his hand with mine. “I already did what you like, that’s a bonus for another day.”

“Another day?” His eyes are wide.

I hold his gaze before nodding. “I must be insane right now.”

“My dick always did make you crazy,” he snickers and I pinch his thigh. He yelps and quickly pulls his boxers back up.

“Maybe this could work,” I say tentatively.

“Really? You’re not just saying that?”

“I’m not just saying it. I missed you so much, Jack. Even when you were right next to me, I missed you. But I can’t do that again. So we need to decide what this looks like going forward.”

“Thank you,” he replies quietly.

“For what?”

“For at least being open to listen. There's a lot to talk about,” he says.

“There is. But there’s also a short window before you go back to New York.”

He nods. “Come on, that’s talk for the morning. Can we go to bed?”

“Not in the same room!” I exclaim.

“Why not? ”

“We’re lucky we didn’t get caught out here. I’m not going to confuse Joey! I don't want to give him false hope.”

His eyes hold mine, and it looks like he wants to say more. Instead he stands, holding his hand out to me and helping me up. He wraps me in his arms, and we just stand like this for a moment, hugging, and it feels how it’s supposed to be.

And I’m worried that I’m the one with false hope around here.