Page 63 of Iron

“I assume you already know who I am,” she stated and didn’t bother to say her name. “What makes you qualified?”

He paused and chuckled under his breath.

“I’m a trained EMT. Is that good enough?” he shot back. She didn’t say anything and then he let her know the rest. “I was also trained as a combat medic. Served five years. Saw some shit. Took care of a lot of shit.”

With a firm nod, she accepted his help.

Charming worked three days a week as a paramedic because he loved the job, though he didn’t really need it. Since shit wasn’t usually crazy for the club, it hadn’t been an issue. I would never ask him to give it up but that didn’t mean I wasn’t on the lookout for a backup. It could never hurt to have someone with some sort of training in the medical field around because you never knew when shit like this happened.

And sure, this wasn’t really club related, exactly. But it was one of Petra’s girls, so yeah, it kind of was.

“I need to talk to Abigail,” I said as I got to my feet slowly.

“She’s out with Bridget and Claire,” Charming said but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I want to be there when you do.”

I took a long moment to study him. His jaw worked and I figured he was trying his best to hold his anger back. I got it, I fuckin’ did.

“Okay,” I told him as my hand came down on his shoulder. “We’ll take care of her. And everything else.” I pulled him in for a quick hug.

“Watch him,” he said to Petra and I almost laughed because I couldn’t believe that he was talking to her like that. But I respected it. And I had a feeling it was because emotions were running high right now. He probably didn’t even realize how it came out. “Call me if he starts vomiting or looks like he’s about to pass out.”

Then he was gone.

I walked over to the couch and sunk down. My head rested against the back and my eyes fell closed. I wasn’t going to sleep but I needed a break.

Petra was there a second later. A smile twitched on my lips when I felt her head rest on my thigh. My fingers automatically went to her hair, smoothing it over and over again.

I wanted to pull it out of that stupid holder that held it back so tightly but I was too drained.

“I’m sorry about your man,” she said softly.

“My brother,” I corrected her nicely.

“Your brother,” she said and I felt her head give a slight nod against my leg.

I kept my eyes closed as my lungs slowly pulled in as much air as they could. Then, just as slowly, I let it out. There was nothing that could be done. Dade was gone and there was no changing that fact. Even knowing there was nothing I could do didn’t make the pain stop. Didn’t make the loss feel any less real.

This was going to crush Abigail. And the club. I should have been able to protect him but I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t save him after it happened.

My mind spun, replaying the moments over and over again in my head, trying to figure out where I could have done better.

“You shouldn’t have come looking for me,” Petra said causing me to clench my jaw.

It was a statement that could have been taken so many ways. But it was Petra and so I understood it was her way of admitting the blame that she felt on the inside.

“This wasn’t your fault, babe.” My hand continued to stroke over her hair. “Wasn’t any of ours except for those fuckers that took your girl.” And that was what it boiled down to.

If I knew the outcome would I still go in? Would I still do everything in my power to protect Petra? Yeah, of course, I would. Just like she’d do anything to protect and save Midori. Just like Dade gave his life trying to save mine.

It was who we were.

All of us.

And we shouldn’t have felt bad about it.

But then again, I was still breathing. Still had my life to go on with. Still had my woman. I knew what it was like to be the one left standing after the dust settled and one thing I’d tell you is that it never got easier. With each body that piled up in my walked path, it got harder, the weight of their souls bearing down on my shadow.

Dade died an honorable death. Some might not see it that way, but I did. I knew the club would as well.